Reddit user MirrorFunhouse asked:
"What's an insult that's been thrown at you (or you heard toward someone else) that you actually admired or just made you laugh?"
So many insults to choose from...
"You look like someone who would pre-heat the microwave."
~ triggamon
GiphySome are one-liners.
"It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others."
~ triggamon
Others require a little set up.
"My best friend and I were roasting each other.
"Me: 'What are you going to say to me that my parents haven't already said?'"
"Her: 'I'm proud of you'."
~ Normal-Kangaroo9209
"It’s not worth insulting you as nature has already done enough damage."
~ triggamon
"Heard one of my sister’s bullies call her fat and mock her weight at school."
"She just yelled back 'B*tch you’re the f'king ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, I can lose weight, what the f'k are you going to do about that face?'”
~ ViciousFlowers
“You’ve got two brain cells left and they’re competing for third place”
~ kirbyourenthuasiam
"I like 'you only have two brain cells, but one of them is lost and the other went looking for it'."
~ MurderousButterfly
"Or 'you only have two brain cells left, and they're each trying to bum a smoke off the other'."
~ The_Lab_Rat_
"You are living proof that the education system needs better funding."
~ triggamon
“You’re as smart as you look.”
~ triggamon
"Random dude online told me to go back to Mexico when I made a joke about the US medical insurance costs."
"I corrected him saying I was Canadian, and he replied with 'stfu, you're just a snow Mexican then'."
"For some reason I just immediately imagined a dude removing snow off his car while wearing a sombrero and laughed for a good 3 minutes."
~ PleasingPotato
"Que pasa, eh?"
~ VolatileUtopian
"As a Canadian living in Texas, my stepdad would call us icebacks."
~ Dudhist
"You're intellectually on the ground already and what do you do?"
"Begin to dig."
~ triggamon
Self owns are rife with opportunities.
"My friend got in a heated argument with her son (nothing new, they’re both hot-tempered) and she called him a son-of-a-b*tch and he said 'that’s right, I am!!' And they both cracked up laughing."
~ Sola_Bay
"My cousin jokingly called her teenage son a son-of-a-b*tch and I laughed and said 'You just called yourself a b*tch!' and then she told me to f'k off. It was great!"
~ Damn_Dog_Inappropes
"My friend once had the same thing happen and shouted back: 'At least we can agree on something, MOM!' His mom was pissed as soon as she figured it out a hot second later, but his dad tried his hardest to keep a straight face."
~ Lord-Redbeard
The Simpsons Eating GIF"I envy people that didn't get to know you."
~ triggamon
"In elementary a kid once shouted at me 'you're so weird, you probably were able to read the paper when you were THREE YEARS OLD!!'."
"Basically he called me 'smart' to my face."
~ kuunwiir
"Unintentional compliments are the best. You know they aren’t lying because they tried to insult you."
"My brother said to me ‘you look 16 at age 20' and I was like 'OMG THANKS'."
~ Easy_Set4108
"You're not the dumbest person on Earth, but if I were you I'd hope that person doesn't die soon."
~ triggamon
"In my early teens I told a good friend of mine (roughly translated) 'Dude, you're like the king of all dumba**es!'."
"Without missing a beat he asked 'Shouldn't you obey me, then?'."
"At that point I had to admit I had indeed gotten got. It's been over 20 years and it still burns a bit."
~ Celphii
"I'd explain it to you in a way even you'd understand, but I have neither the time nor the crayons."
~ triggamon
Giphy"Your self-confidence contradicts your expertise."
~ triggamon
"My friend and I were at a place known for its clubs and drinking spots. We were waiting for our car when a man was hitting on us and inviting us to drink."
"Dude told us he's 47 and without hesitation, I asked 'Oh, so are you here with your kids?'."
"My friend was holding in a laugh while I was just clueless why, then I realized I pretty much called him an oldie."
~ kwirinkyy
"Some tree is woking its a** off to produce the oxygen you're consuming."
"You owe that tree an apology."
~ triggamon
Giphy"I had a Mexican girlfriend who was self-conscious about her bad grammar in English. She got into an argument with another girl in English."
"She suddenly turns to me and points at the other girl and says, 'she is a little b*tch', then just jumps back into the argument. I found it a bit odd, but whatever."
"Afterward I ask her were you trying to bring me into the argument by telling me she was a little b*tch? She said 'no, I just wanted to call her a little b*tch and wasn't sure if it was, you are a little b*tch or you is a little b*tch. I knew she is a little b*tch was correct so I said that, but I couldn't say that to her, so I just said it to you'."
"The delivery carried some weight, and there were many subtle elements, although unintentional. There was uninvolved 3rd party verification, and it felt like she was undermining her that she was such a little b*tch that she didn't even bother directly telling her."
"It was very effective. The other girl was visually dissed."
~ MoneyShotMalone
"My expectations towards you were low and what do you do?"
"The limbo."
~ triggamon
limbo belt GIFGiphySo do you have a favorite comeback?
If not, you have some to choose from now.
Redditor 3GR3552H3LL wanted to discuss what TV characters are just truly heinous, so they asked:
"Which sitcom character was the worst human being EVER?"
Stefano DiMera, from 'Days of Our Lives.'
A true villain.
And genius. Look him up.
Cartman
south park cartman GIFGiphy"I can't think of anybody worse than Eric Cartman."
KermitTheArgonian
"The fact when Scott tells Cartman that they are siblings and Cartman killed his own dad, Cartman cried. But not because he fed his dad to his half-brother, but because he's half ginger. Evil."
eatflapjacks
"I mean he still helped cats that one time and saved Kyle from death to maintain his ego. A lot of serial killers are on sitcoms."
ButterscotchFuzzy460
Bad People
"Frank or Dennis on Always Sunny. I love the characters, but they are worst in a group of terrible people."
yeahwellokay
"I'm currently watching this show for the first time (in season 6), and all 5 of them are just the worst people ever. They all have their moments of being particularly horrendous, but I think Dennis slightly tops the group."
Migit78
"Currently I'd agree with that order. Might change as I see more of the show."
"I do think Charlie will always be at the bottom of the list though, he really is just an idiot that hangs out with a bunch of truly awful people, I think he'd be a better person if he'd fallen in with better people, that's hard to say about the others."
Migit78
Daddy Issues
"Jay's dad from The Inbetweeners."
LiquidShaman
"I think he particularly resonates in a British context, because, just like how everyone knew a Will and a Jay when they were growing up, everyone knew a Jay's Dad too."
spacebatangeldragon8
"He plays the exact same character in The Office, warehouse foreman Glen (Taffy). He does have one of the best lines in the series, when told to stop smoking near a pregnant woman, telling her he won't stop."
"'Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff.'"
mankytoes
That's the Point!
"Bojack Horseman is a grade A a**hole, but that’s kinda the point."
_FreshVegetable_
"That show and this character made me so conflicted. I had no idea whether I should consider him a depraved sack of sh*t, or a terribly confused man trying to find meaning."
Siriuswot111
"He’s definitely an a**hole, the story followed him throughout drug and alcohol addiction so as you said it was kinda the point. he was struggling to live with himself and he took it out on others (usually) as people with drug and alcohol addiction do, they took realism into the show and i think they did an amazing job."
L-A-privvv
Bad Guy
family guy dancing GIFGiphy"Peter Griffin is genuinely a terrible person, and I'm convinced his exploits are supported by Lois' parents secretly giving them sh**loads of money."
waffleirondeluxe
Straight Up Horror
Cocktail Martini GIF by ArcherGiphy"Malory Archer. She was a terrible mother, and straight up horrible boss. Not to mention greedy as f**k and self-centered.
"Nobody in the show is a good person... lol. But I think she's the worst."
AdditionKooky122
a malignant narcissist...
"Marie in Everyone Loves Raymond. I've always said that with a few small cuts, a musical change here and there and the complete removal of the laugh track and you could turn that show into a terrifyingly accurate psychological horror story about what it's like living in a family ruled by a malignant narcissist. I've enjoyed hating characters in shows before but sweet Jesus that character makes my skin crawl."
like-stars
It's all Him!
"Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Dude tried to go one week without being an a**hole, and it went so against his nature he started coughing blood. I loved that little sh*t."
No_Improvement7573
"I find many of the stories are about Malcolm being brought down by his pride. He can't admit anyone else is smarter than him and acts out when he isn't the centre of attention."
MagicBandAid
"I feel like they even had an episode about this where he tried to get into music and was genuinely angry that Dewey was better than him at it."
ToxicBanana69
Best of the Worst
"I mean, George Costanza is a crap bag of a human, but he’s supposed to be — and he is somehow both one of the best and worst characters in sitcom history because of that."
chronicpainprincess
"George is a 'short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man' but he still dates women who are way out of his league. Despite this, he always finds the tiniest flaw with them and dumps them. Jerry does this too but at least he's not quite as miserable and obviously does pretty decently I come-wise as a comedian. George is just a pit of despair with no redeeming qualities. He's lucky any woman would even look at him let alone date him."
DaperDandle
She Admits It
Arrested Development Flirt GIFGiphy"Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development. She's great."
princessbizz
"Every character on Arrested Development is a horrible person, some bother to try to hide it, though. Lucille does not."
superlion1985
Bless Cloris
"Lois’s mother from Malcolm in the Middle. Cloris Leachman nailed that role."
chicagoaussie
These are some legendary characters that have graced the small screen.
Who are some of your favorite characters that could be described as the worst?
Redditor Ad3quat3 asked:
"What’s an insult that sounds like a compliment?"
Ah, family...
"My uncle once said to me 'Nice tattoo, did you do it yourself?'."
"It's on my back."
- mikkelfromthegalaxy
GiphyWhat do I usually look like?
"You clean up well."
"Wasn't sure if compliment or insult or even how to respond."
Lord, it's hard to be humble.
"You are very modest and have much to be modest about."
- Gitaarfreak
Who else?
"Did you REALLY do that?"
- justthatrandomartist
Stay home next time.
"Thanks for coming!"
"You know, you really didn’t have to.”
- Little_LexiYT1
GiphyHow highly?
"No one could possibly think more highly of you than I do."
- sandyposs
Who cares?
"I love how you just don't care how you look."
"I could never do that I'd feel too awkward."
- meme_squeeze
GiphyDepends on the person, right?
"I hope your day is as good as you look!"
- tantoB
"I hope you get what you deserve."
- majesthiccbb
"May your day be as sweet as you are."
- twitterpated202
While some may consider it passive-aggressive, others just find these insults funny and clever.
So what's your favorite complimentary insult?
Curious to hear from smartphone users who crawled into a hole and never again wanted to see the light of day, Redditor TylerDuuurden asked:
"What's the most embarrassing/cringy thing you've accidentally shown someone, or something they accidentally saw while using your phone or computer?"
It goes without saying that accidentally seeing NSFW content was a frequent example from Redditors.
What The Internet Specialist Saw
"Oh god."
"My internet was down. Had to have the Bell Aliant guy come to fix it. When it was fixed he asked me to just check it was working properly, so I refreshed a tab and it instantly opened the porn I was watching before the internet died."
"As a 21 year old woman that was the most horrifically embarrassing moment of my life."
"He then said 'Is there anything else you need?'"
"And I became worried I was living in the plot to the world's most cliché porn."
– DreyaNova
Sounds Like Pleasure
"During college my girlfriend worked night shifts so I would sometimes crash at her place that way I’d be there when she got off in the mornings. one night her roommates had a few people over to drink and I, being alone, decided to crank one out. Spent about 3-5 mins watching some.. material wondering why the audio wouldn’t work on my phone. Then I hear an eruption of laughter from the kitchen (it was a small apartment). Turns out I was the last one that connected to the bluetooth speaker they were using and was blasting my porn audio to an apartment full of people. I have never been so embarrassed in my life and I laid there for what felt like an eternity afterwards listening to them all die laughing."
– thabender
Viewing History
"Not me, but a friend of mine was living with his dad, and they only had one computer in the house (this was 15+ years ago). My friend was showing his dad how to do something on the computer and they opened up Windows media player. Somehow it started playing the last video watched... which was a lesbian porn video that my friend had been watching."
– DeathSpiral321
The Enlightenment
"I was helping a man download a Bible app onto his phone. I had to go into his browser to search something for him, and it was all porn. About 50 tabs open, each showing what term he'd put into Google, and the search terms were the kind that a 10 year old would use."
"I finished getting him the app and attempted to peace out, although not before having to tactfully decline giving him my phone number."
– LittleBitOdd
These will remind you to double-check who you're sending what to.
Wrong Recipient
"My fiancé was sending me some sexy nudes on Snapchat one day. She had a bit too much to drink by this time. I got all of them, but so so did one of her sisters and a few she accidentally posted to her story. Luckily one of her female friends saw it and told her so she could delete them before anyone else saw them. Her sister snapped her back a thumbs up that said Didn’t want to see that, but hey nice vag! Lol. She was incredibly embarrassed naturally and it took a while before I got saucy pics again."
– Dis4Wurk
The Other Dynamite
"My mother was once trying to show my friend a picture of John Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) she got while at a panel of his. There were my dad's dick pics instead O_o"
– Tokiw4
Monitor Your Photo Album
"I was kind of on the flipside of this when my uncle was going through pictures of my baby cousin on his phone and swiped too far to show me a picture of my auntie standing completely naked in a doorway. The image is still burned into my mind..."
– jamiedunne420
A Swipe Too Far
"A friend was showing us his holliday pictures and accidentally swiped too far and showed us all a selfie of his a**hole then one of his balls when he tried to fix it."
– bfgjuju123
Private Portfolio
"My partner showed his friends some pictures from a vacation years ago and he scrolled too far back and he accidentally showed them my nudes. I was 5ft away and died."
– osmosisaturn
Zune Session
"Had the minister of my church at my house. He wanted to upload music from his laptop onto my Zune (tells you when this was). He turns it on and the Zune immediately displays a topless picture of my fianceé, a girl he's known since birth having been best friends with her parents. He just clears his throat and says, 'I didn't see that.' The rest of my time with him that day was incredibly awkward but he never brought it back up again. edit: To clear up any confusion the picture was on my Zune that I had taken. The pastor knew nothing about it prior to seeing it."
– gil_beard
The Crush Code
"In college I had a crush on a guy whose name was 4 letters. I set it as my phone passcode. When I was home for break, my brother took my phone and started teasing me about liking this guy, then he tried to unlock my phone using his name as the passcode. It worked."
– cunninglinguist32557
Busted
"Older man caught me looking at boobs on my phone during a bus ride home. I quickly scrolled up, realizing that I was in public. He leaned over and said 'hey, we can share.' Got off three stops before my own."
– gyratepirate
Now would be a good time to go through your photos on your phone.
The only guarantee that anyone would not inadvertently see your naughty nudes or screenshotted NSFW pics from the internet would be to either erase them from your devices or back them up to the cloud.
But if you need easy access to your erotic visuals, then whatever ends up happening is all on you.
Who knew trying to be discreet would be such a chore in the 2020s?