"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
Ewww....
frustrated clint eastwood GIFGiphyHer ex told us about all the great things she did in bed and what a loss for mankind that is. In presence of her boyfriend.
If you need Dwight, don't call...
He handed out his business cards at his stepdaughter's funeral. There was very nearly a fistfight!
Dwight: Good morning. Dwight Schrute. Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. Like Justin and his disfigurement, I too have had a horrible year. They say that the middle class is disappearing, and with it, the soul of America. So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, I would like to offer a 4% discount on all Dunder Mifflin Sabre products if you buy a printer at full price.
Family Drama
The gentleman had a large family and all of his siblings got up and made it all about themselves, dredged up old family drama, made it clear that they resented his wife, etc. It was so painfully awkward.
This was my biggest fear at my father-in-law's funeral. My mother-in-law is incapable of not making everything about herself. They got divorced about ten years ago, so I spent the whole time holding my breath. For the most part she wasn't as bad as I feared. Any time someone told a story, she'd have to find a way to make it about her, but she didn't trash him the way she typically does, so I was relieved. I hope I'm able to be as kind at her funeral.
The Will Matters
Funeral GIF by memecandyGiphyMy uncle was pissed about something in my grandmother's Will. So during the funeral, he went out to the parking lot and keyed everyone's car. It should be noted, he has severe brain injury from a motorcycle accident that causes him to be constantly angry and paranoid. Still....
Skipping Over....
No where near as bad as most comments but the family didn't allow for his twin to speak.
Straight up skipped over the allocated time for the living twin to get up and speak about his brother. Who was his last remaining immediate family.
I don't think I can ever forgive the late wife for putting him through that. She treated him so horribly all throughout the sickness, and then to not allow him to be a part of the funeral was the final nail in the coffin.
Reservations
A few years back, when the uncle of my mother died my young cousin (8) cried a lot at the funeral. It took some time but eventually he calmed down and his parents went for a little walk with him for some distraction.
But then he noticed that his first name was written on one of the tombstones. He mentions it loudly and one of the bystanders said: ''Yeah its already reserved for you''.
He immediately started crying again....
Unbelievable.
Not a funeral but when my grandad passed and we went to view his body at the crematorium my aunt started stealing from the facility the second the employees back was turned. Just shoving anything that wasn't nailed down into her purse and pockets. Unbelievable. And yes we called her out and made her put it all back.
Evil Nan....
snow white witch GIFGiphyMy nan told my dad at his own father's funeral that her pain was much greater because she had lost a husband, while he had only lost his dad. As if grief is a competition.
She is a crappy person anyway, and not even blood related to us so we just kinda don't associate anymore.
"Life is Grand."
My Mother in Law took a photo of a wine glass during the lunch we had after, and she posted it on Facebook. Guess what her caption was?
"Life is Grand."
It was my mother's funeral. And when she was asked to take it down she couldn't understand why. It's been two years since my mom passed, but that memory still sticks with me.
Gross Girls
black and white 90s GIFGiphyMy husband went to his great aunt's funeral and while they did the little ceremony in the cemetery, great aunt's granddaughters were all hiding behind a tombstone giggling and doing drugs.
Edit: Guys her grandkids were like 17-23.
I kinda lost it.
I had a fit of hysterical laugh at my father's funeral just about the time people started to gather at the mortuary.
In my defense, my mother had a nervous breakdown (my father died 4 days after we found out he had lung cancer), there was a lot of crappy stuff surrounding the funeral organization, my mom just flipped, my siblings were 15 and lost so I was at 23 left to handle it all.
I kinda lost it.
Nun of that....
sister act dancing GIFGiphyMy brother in law is a mortician. Boy does he have stories....
One of the best- A guy disguised himself as a nun, shows up at the funeral, pulls a gun from under his habit and tries to shoot the deceased's son. Luckily the gun malfunctioned and didn't fire. The son then decks the nun and knocks him out, kicks him in the head a few times, and is pulled off by other family. Police are called, yada yada yada... turns out the deceased owed the nun quite a lot of money and the son had refused to honor the debt.
You're Out
One of my students' mother died. I went to the funeral with the principal and the student's integration aide. After the funeral her father walked up to her and her grandmother and said "I want her out of the house by tomorrow morning". She was 11 years old.
"Good night, grandpa"
I knew a guy who climbed up into the casket with his grandfather. This one's sweet and wholesome.
He was around four years old. He wasn't sure what was going on, and people weren't giving him much attention. He asked someone what his grandfather was doing in a box at the front of the room. A relative, thinking they were explaining death in an age appropriate way, told him that grandpa went to sleep, and won't wake up again. So we went up to the casket, and climbed up. The room froze in shock. Then he said, "Good night, grandpa," and he kissed him. Adults told him later you could hear a pin drop and there wasn't a dry eye in the room.
for financial gain....
My sister murdered her father (my stepfather... at the time we didn't know she was guilty)
BTW Just so you know she did this purely for financial gain.
During the viewing she drug her little boy to the casket and because he didn't cry enough to suit her she pinched him on the upper arm until he was sobbing then took him around to everyone saying he was really crying because he loved his Gramps so much.
Where's the Menu?!
At my grandfather's funeral one of the choir members essentially threw a tantrum and ended up interrupting one of my uncles who was giving a speech just because she wasn't given any food. The thing is there wasn't any food at the funeral to begin with.
Hush Please!
Shhhh Shut Up GIF by swerkGiphyMy Gran's sister died recently and they were holding a service at my aunt's house before the burial. My Gran, closing in on 90, deaf as a post and suffering from vascular dementia, lost patience with the Celebrant as she was about half way through the reading and loudly announces "Oh, will she no just bloody shut up?!" at the top of her voice. My poor mum was completely mortified, although the rest of the family was very understanding. Luckily, no one returned the "favor" at my Gran's service the following year!
Say "Cheese?"
My minister once told a story. He was waiting in a room off the sanctuary before the funeral when he heard scuffling noises. When he went to investigate, the brother and sister of the deceased had pulled the body out of the casket and propped it between them. They explained that they didn't have a recent photo of the three of them and were delighted he showed up to take the picture.
Off the Cliff
My uncle was cremated. He lived across from a lake and it was decided that we wanted his ashes spread on this little island on this lake. I was tasked with swimming with the urn from the boat to the island, holding it out of the water. I then stood at the edge of a small cliff with my nephew's beside me and all the family watching in the boat. I opened the urn to dump his ashes over the cliff. We all say a few things, and as I go to dump the ashes, the wind picks up and blows the ashes all over my wet body. One of the worst things that ever happened to me.
Endless Blabber
jim carrey idk GIFGiphyAfter the eulogist had talked for 45 minutes, the pastor went over to the lectern and politely asked him to conclude his eulogy.
The guy boldly told the pastor, "I'll stop when I'm damn good and ready!" (and proceeded talking for about 20 more minutes.)
The total funeral church service lasted for 2 3/4 hours - it seemed endless.
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Saying goodbye to a loved one is sad, but can it's also a final opportunity to honor them. Fashion is incredibly personal, and choosing the outfit that someone is wearing to the grave is a big deal that tells a lot about the person who is passed.
Redditor u/Gug21 wanted to know about the wildest things people had been buried with, and people told touching stories about how a burial outfit or object related to their friends' and relatives' lives.
20. Fancy feet
"Shortly before my nan passed away she emailed me a picture of her new sandals she bought. She got two pairs in two different colours so the picture was her with one of each on. It was only fitting that we dressed her in those. She'd laugh if she knew"
19. Man's best friend
"Oh I remember this one well. There was a double funeral and to people were being buried together . That sound so sweet. They were buried i I kid u not there stuffed dogs. Mans best friend taken to a new level."
18. Comfy from the waist down
"First time commenting, not a funeral employee. My mother passed mere days before Christmas and my birthday. We had gifts picked for her already, including a pajama set and blanket. From the waist up was a nice cream colored shirt and red cardigan; from the waist down was Snoopy-themed pajama pants and fussy socks. That half was covered with a very soft blanket. She genuinely looked like she was resting."
17. His favorite kilt
Giphy"When my dad owned his own company he wore only a kilt for a year for charity, he became pretty well known around my town for it and was so proud of himself. After the year was up he often wore his kilts and absolutely loved them.
When he died we cremated him in his favourite red kilt and work jumper, i like to think he would have liked it"
16. Sports fan til the end
"My Dad was never the type to wear anything super formal unless he had to, so when he died in 2016, we buried him in sneakers, jeans, his favorite Pittsburgh Steelers shirt with a flannel button down and a baseball cap. It was an outfit he wore pretty often, so I think he was happy with our choice."
15. A skin tight option
"I was once visiting my dads grave and there was a funeral going on nearby so I figured I could look on from a distance and see who it was like was it a child or something like that but no it was someone in a latex suit I couldn't tell the gender cause it was a latex suit and I have been wondering ever since then why would they do a latex suit"
14. I feel this choice might be surprisingly common
"Never an employee ,but my grandpa wanted to be buried in his Elvis costume for some reason ,but we did it any way."
13. The coffin's empty! Oh, wait...
"I've been to three funerals where the men were buried in their hunting camo. One of the was in his thirties, so it isn't just old farts. His wife and brothers all wanted it. I'm in the south east US and hunting culture is ridiculous here"
12. Planning ahead
"My mom - who hasn't passed yet - loves cows, and collects all types of cow knick-knacks. She has asked to be buried in a cow costume, that she wore for a few Halloweens."
11. A nautical farewell
"Had a great-uncle who basically lived on his boat. He wanted to wear a captain hat and have a burial ceremony similar to a boat christening ceremony. His wishes were respected and during the burial ceremony we broke a bottle of champagne on his casket."
10. This giving great aunt
"My great aunt wanted to be buried in her bathrobe. Her stepchildren honored it.
To be fair though, she wanted her clothes to be donated to a homeless shelter she volunteered at and her jewelry to go to her kids. She wanted to be buried in her comfy bathrobe since it would cover her and not take too much away from what others may need. Most of the residents of the homeless shelter attended her funeral, more than half wearing an article of her former clothing."
9. A true Jazzercize fan
Giphy"My great aunt was buried in her '100 Jazzercize Classes Taken' T-shirt. She was super ****ing proud of it, so it was fitting. Love that woman."
8. A comical burial
"my great grandmother worked as a clown. like she attended a clown college and everything. she loved her job very much. she was buried dressed as a clown, with the makeup and everything."
7. This family thought ahead
"We put a bottle of Immodium in my dad's pocket just in case he got the ****s in the afterlife. Funeral Director thought we were bonkers."
6. A glam burial
"This 70+ year old lady (or maybe it was her husband's preference) wanted to be buried in this glamorous vintage night dress set that you would see in an old movie. It had feather accents and matching kitten heel slipper things. She also was buried in her costume jewelry. Her regular hairdresser came in to do her hair and cried the entire time. I think she had been sick for a while so the nightdress fit loosely so we used double sided tape and a few simple stitches to the nightdress to try to keep everything where it should go.
It was a weird request but I thought it was interesting. And, to the staff's surprise, her family seemed to expect this as something totally normal."
5. They honored her passion
Giphy"My mom was a casual lady who exceled at dog rescue. When she passed it didn't make sense to put her in a dress or suit. So she was cremated in her favorite comfy jeans and a 'You'll never walk alone' dog rescue tee shirt."
4. Some furniture
"I sang at a funeral where the man wanted to be buried with 'his' barstool from a local pub. He'd been a regular for years, and the pub acquiesced. It was weird to sing to a barstool at the graveside portion of the funeral. As I remember, it had red leather inset on the seat."
3. They loved water sports
"My father was buried in his wetsuit. He loved to water ski and would go every weekend. I even had a matching one when I was a baby."
2. Ironic choice of clothing
"My uncle was cremated in a shirt with a bunch of flames on it. It wasn't planned though..."
1. Trekkie to the grave
Giphy"Not a funeral home employee but an elderly friend of mine who was obsessed with space aliens demanded to be laid out in his Star Trek uniform. He looked good! Everyone understood and were cool with it. His widow was fiercely protective of him. He left me one of his 5 Star Trek communication devices. High quality, too!"