Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Moment of honesty: some connections are just NOT worth it.
Friends are in your life for 'a reason, a season, or a time' ... and some of you should have called time a whiiiiiile ago.
Reddit user 'Jojosiwasbadussy' asked:
"Hey people of Reddit what was the 'hell nah I'm out' moment in a new friend group?"
A good chunk of us will read through these answers and see situations we recognize. Some of us will see situations we tolerated, or made a different choice in.
We're going to talk about your experiences at the end, first it's time for Reddit to get all red-flaggy.
"They started a second group chat called 'everyone but percy1614' when I couldn't hang out ONE TIME, which became the new group chat."
"I found out when one of them said something like: 'Oh my god, the group chat's blowing up!'
" And I was confused because it was silent, so I responded: 'No, it's not. What are you talking about?' "
"At that point, I think it had existed for about three months."
"I wish I was angrier, but honestly, I was just sad."
"Ah man that hits close to home."
"I had a group of friends in college I thought were like family to me. Stayed with them 3 years."
"Then, one of them got married. At the wedding they called for a family picture and when I walked over they asked me to TAKE the photo, not be IN the photo."
"That really f*cked me up for a long time and I still have trust issues years later because of it."
"Shortly after, I learned of all the stuff I wasn't invited to like weekly dinners, camping trips, etc. Realized that I was always the one initiating."
"Stopped talking to them cold turkey. What hurt most is they never reached out to ask where I was or why I never hung out with them anymore."
"Luckily that breakup led to me meeting some actually good friends who I'm still very close with 10 years later."
"I made friends with some girls in the first couple weeks of university."
"We hung out a lot at first. Then I sat in on a conversation of them talking about how they'd been sharing a toothbrush between them for weeks (there was 3 of them) - they were arguing about whose it actually was."
"That kinda put me off them because ew, but the nail in the coffin was when I found out they were all kleptomaniacs- all of them LOVED stealing and would have competitions to see who could steal the most when we went to the mall... no thanks!"
"Unhygienic thieves? I'll pass."
"I ghosted them completely"
"My ex friends claimed to be narcos from Mexico. They were underage, had guns illegally, and they lied so much it was just cringy."
"Anyway, one day I invited them to my mom's birthday and they were a disaster. They kept acting hard and tough, saying I was soft."
"They pointed a gun at me so I could become 'harder' and be 'one of them.' "
"They were treating the gun like a BB gun and acting like little kids that were playing war with each other. Those guys were plain ridiculous and really dangerous, just not in the way they thought."
"I was like yup I'm done."
"Yeah no. I socialize with several actual narcos, and if there is one thing they would never do it is disrespect a mom's birthday like that."
"Hell no. You don't f*ck around with Mexican moms."
"Sounds like you were friends with a bunch of sh*tkids. Good they are not down in Mexico, they would be told/made to stop pretty quickly."
"Mexican moms have chanclas faster and more accurate than any bullet"
"Hanging out with an old friend and her group of friends. Nobody I had met before besides her."
"She left before we all went to one of their apartments to keep the party going. Dude's roommate comes home and he's obviously a bit imbalanced, which the other occupant had sorta warned us about."
"Starts yelling, being grouchy that people were over. We weren't even loud at all, just chilling and having a drink and chatting."
"At one point he punches a wall, and we were all just sitting there kinda stunned."
"At that moment I realized -and said out loud- 'Oh wow...no one here knows my name.' "
"So I just got up and left. Walked like 10 miles back home in the middle of the night."
"Heard later the cops got called for sound complaints and domestic abuse concerns. Happy to have dodged that whole scene."
"There has been more than one party where I saw some drama brewing (scandalous makeouts, friend drama, some folk way too high or drunk and getting out of hand, etc) and literally said out loud 'bail' and just left."
"Never regretted it."
"I was recently at a party as an adult with other adults."
"A pushing match broke out and was moving towards me. I just said, 'this would be a bad thing for me' out loud and walked to the other side of the room."
"I'm into films and was invited to an Oscar party."
"I've never been to an Oscar party and I was looking forward to having a stimulating dialogue with other avid film lovers. Instead everyone got crazy drunk."
"When Sean Penn won, this girl started screaming like her team just won the super bowl."
"When the camera cut to Bill Murray she said: 'F*ck You Bill Murray you talentless f*ck!' and then a group of people chanted 'f*ck Bill Murray.' "
"I said, 'I don't get it? I think Bill Murray's a great actor and did a great job in 'Lost in Translation.' "
"Same drunk girl got in my face 'HAVE YOU SEEN 'MYSTERY RIVER'? HAVE YOU SEEEEEN 'MYSTERY RIVER'?!!!!"
"I said no, that I had not seen 'Mystery River' then she said 'Then what the fuck do you know?!' "
"I replied 'I know enough to know the movie is called 'Mystic River.' "
"and then she came after me."
"I don't do Oscar parties anymore."
No D.D. For You
"When we met at my house to go to a bar, and one of their friends I had only met a few times was pregaming with the remnants of some kind of liquor."
"We headed to the car to go out and he whipped the bottle down my street shattering it all over the corner and sidewalk where people walk and play daily."
"A couple neighbors having a bonfire in their backyard heard the shatter and came over to make sure everything was okay."
"I stopped in my tracks, said 'what the f*ck?' and went to grab a broom and dustpan. He refused to clean it up and the mutual friends said I was blowing it out of proportion and should just leave it."
"I cleaned it up and told them to have a good night without me. I was going to be the DD since they had already all been drinking, but I had no desire to put up with this behavior for the rest of the night."
"Especially if this was how he was and he wasn't even really drunk yet."
"Guy thought since his daddy owned a dealership and was loaded he could do whatever he wanted."
"I went back in the house. F*ck people like that."
Stealing From The Homeless
"Back in my university student days I had the hots for this 'bad girl' type chick for the longest time, despite all the warnings my friends gave me."
"When I finally ended up getting with her, I realized she wasn't just a 'bad girl,' she was MEAN. AS. HELL."
"The last straw was when I saw her from afar approach a blind beggar that used to frequent the campus area and everyone and their mother knew for years, pretty likeable fella."
"Instead of giving him money, she went and grabbed the money he had gathered for the day and took it for herself."
"Thankfully someone else caught her in the moment and called her out on it and it became this massive deal where everyone, including myself, basically shamed her into giving the money back to the poor dude."
"That was my 'f*ck this, I'm out' moment. I just couldn't associate myself with her or treat her with any semblance of respect anymore. She just outright stopped being human in my head."
"The worst part was her badmouthing me behind my back later on telling anyone who would lend an ear to her that I was a limpd*ck because I 'didn't support her on her moment of need.' "
"HER need. Not the beggars need. HERS. F*cking twat."
Too Many Gangster Movies, Not Enough Common Sense
"Out of high school my childhood friends started getting more and more involved with organized crime. They were low on the totem pole trying to 'break into the scene.' "
"They plotted to rob a store to advance their 'standing' and the plan was just ridiculously stupid."
"They asked me to be a look out. I would have never ever gone through with it and the fact they wanted to rob something is what made me decide to leave my group of child hood friends forever."
"The stupidity of the plan was the cherry on top."
" 'You guys spent all night planning and decided the best way to do it is to drive a van through the front window and grab what you can?! And your insurance plan of not getting caught is for me to hide out in my car down the street and look for police???' "
" 'Ya I'm out lol. But like out out. Like out forever. Later' "
"Too many gangster movies, not enough common sense."
"Inner city Italian kids. Each one of them has a drug problem, a few of them have gone to jail, luckily nobody is dead."
"I'm 39 now. By far the greatest decision I made was realizing I grew out of these friends and moving on with my life at the age of 21."
"I own property, I'm high up in my career, newly single and quite literally living my best days."
"If those were their best days I pity them."
"When I got pregnant and they ghosted me."
"Then 3 months later they popped up and asked if they could bring their friend to stay at my house because she's never been to Hawaii, where I lived."
"Like HELL NO. You guys just want a cheap trip to Hawaii, I'm not going to let you come stay with me when you haven't talked to me in months!"
"Big relate on the getting pregnant and then being ghosted."
"I had one girl who was supposedly my 'best friend' hit me up for the first time in like a year for a ride not long after my son was born."
"I was lonely, so even though I was basically just a taxi I was like sure!"
"She talked non stop from A to B and then my son started to fuss in the back seat in his car seat."
"She turned UP the radio to drown out his noise and shouted over the radio that when I come back to give her a ride home I should just not bring him."
"I turned off the radio, called her a b*tch, and told her to get an Uber home."
"We never spoke again."
Sudden Aggressive Racism
"I lived in the US for about three years as a kid, before my family and I moved back to Denmark. Went back to the US on a vacation with my family a couple years later, and I made plans to visit and old childhood friend."
"We used to be really close, like inseparable. Hung out several times a week after school. He was a really friendly, kind and funny kid."
"He brings me to hang out and have a few drinks with some of his friends (people I'd never met before). Starts off a perfectly normal and pleasant night. Mostly people were just asking me questions about myself and my life in Denmark. Seemed like a friendly group of folks..."
"... Until one guy made a remark akin to 'Must be nice to live in a country without so many f*cking n*****s ruining everything.' "
"I've never seen so many people switch so quickly and aggressively from normal conversation topics, to going on a collective full on, hard core racist, white-supremacy tangent."
"It was instantaneous and unanimous. There was not a single person there who wasn't incredibly eager to contribute to the cascade of racial epithets, stereotypes and ignorant hate-remarks being thrown out at a staggering velocity."
"They quickly started bragging about incredibly f*cked up stuff. Apparently most of them had at least one prior or pending assault charge for beating up a black person."
"I just stood there in shock for a while, not having the slightest clue what to do with myself. I was deathly afraid that if I gave them the slightest clue that I wasn't in complete and total agreement with their viewpoints I might very well be assaulted for being a 'n***** lover.' "
"Luckily, they had distracted themselves enough by getting into what I assume was their normal conversational rhythm, that they almost entirely forget to include me in the conversation."
"That means they didn't notice that I retreated into the background, pulled out my phone and texted my dad to come pick me up 'immediately!' "
"As soon as my dad texted me back he was outside, I quickly but quietly left without a word. Once outside I ran to the car as fast as I could, got in and told him to drive NOW."
"Funnily enough, I haven't spoken to that childhood friend since."
"Not a friend group, but I met this one guy a while back in a yahoo group, who was initially pretty cool."
"We became friends after a while, and one day he was like 'You wanna see something?' so I was like 'sure!' "
"And he showed me one of those hidden links. (Those links that you enter into a website to get a condensed link that hides where the site is). It leads to a download thing. So I download it an open it."
"Turns out it was a link to some child porn download hub."
"I noped the f*ck out of there, reported the guy to yahoo, and scrubbed the sh*t out of my computer with every antivirus, anti-malware, computer cleaner I could find. I was extremely paranoid about yahoo chat for a while after that XD"
- darkninja0200Block GIF by Debby RyanGiphy
Disability Is Boring?
"When my long time friend told me she couldn't go along to an important medical appointment with me, which we'd organized months in advance. This was fine because I thought it was work related."
"Turns out she went on holiday with a friend."
"When I asked her after she said it's not as fun to hang out with me because I'm disabled. Obvs she said 'no offense' before hand so I guess that's all patched up now?"
"She moved out for a new job and hearing my flat-mates complain about her being rude to them I had that aha moment, that I wasn't the bad friend, it was her."
- essiej98Team Usa Paralympics Sport GIF by Team USAGiphy
"I was invited to a Christmas party that was being hosted by some friends of a friend."
"They had two massively overweight Spaniels, and they went on and on bragging about how one of them was an award-winning show dog."
"This dog looked like it hadn't been groomed in over a year, it's nails were crazy long, and had some of the bulgiest eyes I've seen on the breed. It clearly wasn't being cared for."
"Never hung out with them again. I figured if they couldn't be bother to do basic care on an 'award-winning' dog, they weren't worth being friends with."
- ThePluckiestDuckwalt disney art GIF by hoppipGiphy
Every Time We Drink
"At a house party and one of the girls gets sloppy drunk and starts arguing with her dude who was just playing beer pong with other dudes in the group, fine whatever."
"She escalated it so much that there was now a crowd trying to calm them both down. At this point she's crying, yelling, shoving at him and he's just leaning against a counter not saying anything, hand on a cup the other in his pocket."
"Things calmed back down as fast as they started up, and everyone just got back to playing. But she got hysterical again claiming that her dude hit her."
"Except he hadn't moved. He was still leaning against this counter in the same position looking completely done with the night."
"Half the crowd that saw him do nothing and heard him say nothing to her."
"It took like 3-4 of this girl's friends to pull her away from getting in his face again and comfort her because she started yelling about all their inner relationship problems. I asked why they comforted her if she was obviously the one in the wrong."
"Simply put, they responded like 'this is just what she does every time we drink.' When I asked why they still feed her drinks, it was like deer in headlights."
- papsinchapsdrunk GIFGiphy
"About 20 years ago I started to hang out with other dads."
"We would get some beers and bullsh*t around. Then I noticed they really talked negatively about their wives."
"One common term was 'house b*tch'."
"I decided there was no need to hang out with these guys. I cannot ever see myself using the words they used to describe their wives."
- toad__warriorsick cringe GIFGiphy
"In high school I worshipped these heavy metal kids who were like 22 at the time. Tried for years to get into their friend group."
"I finally get invited to a party and this dude, Gary, immediately throws a glass liquor bottle across the room and nails this girl in the mouth. She's bleeding like crazy."
"Nobody helped her and no sh*t, she looks right up and say 'it's ok I have really bad gingivitis.' "
"I left immediately."
- Gilbert_SanchezIm Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"I remember back in middle school there was this girl that would follow me everywhere. She personally made me uncomfortable, and I signaled it. She didn't exactly get the sign."
"I didn't want to outright tell her but it seemed to be the only way. One day, I told her on Discord, and then she didn't seem to care about anything I said. I saw this as very disrespectful and tried avoiding her for a few days."
"Eventually we start talking again and she adds me to a group chat without my consent."
"I take a look at the chat, and it was filled to the brim with horrible people making horrible comments. They were talking about having sex in the school bathroom and how to use condoms."
"I immediately went to complain to her in the direct messages, and she said that they were kidding. So I stayed, but then she started joining in to 'roleplay.' Yeah. Like, furry roleplay."
"I left the group chat shortly after, and then I blocked her. She then harassed me so much at school that I had to tell school administrators. Well, there went her dream to be student council president."
- TemperatureLegal8400Oh God Reaction GIFGiphy
Everyone Keeps Overdosing
"Had just started a job at a warehouse. His told me that the last six workers had Overdosed, two dead and one in a coma."
"Started hanging out with co-workers, they were really sweet and for once. I felt like I belonged!"
"As an anti social and introverted person, that meant a lot to me. Fast forward to a month and a half and I'm invited to a party. I'm thinking it's going to be a nice dance party."
"Nope. Every worker, my supervisor AND boss were snorting lines of cocaine laced with fentanyl!"
"I'm like what the f*ck, that's why everyone is ODing!"
"I quit the job and blocked everyone's numbers that night."
- SteveRogersAssSeason 3 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Not A Prank
"Seeing one of them putting something in my drink while I was away, while the others were smiling like idiots."
"I just knew one of them who brought me, and he was sitting with them. I don't have any idea what it was that they put into my glass."
"I never asked. Instead, I called a cab, got my jacket, and left without returning to their table."
"Never met the dude again after that evening. He wasn't a close friend after all."
"I have to mention I'm a dude, so they probably just tried to prank me rather than hurt me. Didn't matter for me."
"You don't do this to someone you just met."
- myhamsterisajerkNot Funny GIF by VH1Giphy
Now that you've read through the Reddit Red Flag parade, it's your turn to share.
Tell us about those "OMFGNOPE" moments where you realized a friendship or connection just wasn't worth it.
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Good friendships are hard to come by. So when we have a loyal and trustworthy friend, we want to hold on to them as best we can.
Unfortunately, life intervenes, and many people grow distant as they embark on new careers or move to another state or country.
But is it just gradual circumstances that come between friends? Not always.
Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy and realize too late they were the reason why a good friendship fizzled.
Curious to hear about the regrettable treatments of others, Redditor rwetreweryrttre asked:
"What's the dumbest reason you lost a friend?"
The root of all evil.
"Over lent out money."
"They wanted to borrow some money (100+ euros) and months later they got angry, when i asked when they think they were going to pay it back. Suddenly i was the greedy one."
"legit ended a friendship because of this too. She borrowed $200 from me over a year ago, I went overseas for a year then came back and remembered the money. Within the year I was gone she'd bought herself a $40k car. I asked for the money, she kept promising she'd get it to me but every week it was a new excuse."
"She then asked if she could pay in installments. Ended up only getting half the amount until I released I would never see the other half and ended up cutting her off as a friend for good. Best decision."
Video Renting Spree
"He kept using my card to buy Amazon video rentals, like $330 worth. Lost my sh*t and stopped talking to him."
The Special Request
"My Cousin and me wanted to play Monster Hunter World together."
"He didn't have much money left and i wanted to Gift it to him. He said 'fine, but remember me Daily to give you the money back!'"
"Yeah, i did that and he got really angry over the time of a few days and then he was really pissed. He then sent me the Money on a different account ( not my personal money account, instead he sent it on to our Teamspeak Provider account.. and then he quit. He deleted me and all friends. ) All because of his wish that i remind him Daily because he didn't like to have debts."
Value Of Friendship
"I lent him $100."
"I didn't even care about the money after a while, I just wanted my friend back."
Misunderstandings lead to the demise of the following friendships.
"He misinterpreted every good intentioned thing I did, as some sort of underhanded attack. I still don't understand it."
That Darn Cat
"I was friends with someone for almost a decade and she suddenly quit talking to me and ignoring me. After several weeks of this I confronted her and asked her what was up, why was she ignoring me."
"Turns out that the last time my kids had a sleepover at her house all their stuff smelled like cat pee and she decided that it meant that I let them live in filth. She decided that I was an abusive father and she could no longer be friends with me."
"The reality was that my kids were so excited for the sleepover they packed their bag the night before and put it in the living room so we could grab everything on the way out the next morning. The bag was not fully closed and at some point in the night our cat climbed in the bag and peed on their stuff. We did not realize it because we just grabbed the bag on the way out and threw it in the trunk. But, instead of calling us when she opened their bag that night so we could bring them clean clothes, or even telling us when we picked them up the next morning, she just decided I was a horrible person and never spoke to me again. (Except to tell me why when I confronted her about ignoring me for weeks)"
"The biggest reason this whole thing was so stupid is that she had just been complaining to me 2 week prior about how their cat had recently been peeing on their fresh laundry and they didn't know why. And that she would go to grab something and discover it smelled like pee."
"It never occurred to her that someone else's cat could randomly pee on something and they might not notice it right away. She just decided that I knew my kids stuff smelled like cat pee and just didn't care. Despite the fact that she had been in my house many, many times and nothing had ever smelled like cat pee. it was all just bizarre."
Obscure Opinions People Are Fully Committing To | George Takei’s Oh MyyyWe all have a set of beliefs about even the smallest of topics. Like sandwiches should have structural integrity. That's something we can all agree on, right...
A Bad Judgement
"he traded us in for what he thought were cooler friends."
"we saw them bullying him not long after. Serves him right. Im f'king cool."
Not Into Him
"I've lost friends for various reasons usually because I had issues and pissed a lot of people off. One however I have no idea. We got on great we always hung out and then one night he came round to talk about his friends upcoming surgery since I'd had the same procedure and never heard from him again."
"I tried to message multiple times over the next few years and now reply and this is considering he used to get upset if I didn't reply in a certain time. Personally I think he was gay and was in to me, which is nice but sorry you're a good friend and I'll support you but no."
"After I got with my ex girlfriend who he had worked with he wouldn't even read my messages. Still miss him. If I was gay I'd happily be with him."
These friendships were just asking to be severed.
"He was incapable of holding a conversation that wasn't about transformers or warhammer. He'd pick fights with my other friends. He would complain nobody would play games with him, but he'd bully other people about their setups."
"He also has some really hardcore misogynistic tendencies. Women are simply objects to him, and his obsession with porn is f'king creepy."
"My parents wanted to leave a church because the pastor had some problems and the new church leaders were teaching some weird sh*t. So when we left 90% of my friends parents cut all contact with us even though they had known me from birth."
"It was a really sh**ty thing for them to do. I kept my best friend though. And my parents were able to keep 3 of their closer friends. It really showed them who their real friends were."
"I grew up in really rough circumstances. I think my hs friends clicked that something wasnt right at home but I never talked about it. My 'best friend' kept encouraging me to speak to her so she could be there for me as she felt it was important to get things off my chest."
"Anyway one day I finally did. Only gave her about half of the information but it felt good to trust in someone. Next day at school I walk into what I thought was my first class to find no students, just a group of my teachers and my 'friend.' She had told a bunch of teachers and they ambushed me in that classroom with the 'school counsellor' (the 90s kid version of a counsellor so it was not a fun experience)"
"Afterwards my 'friend' asked me never to speak of my life again. She said my life was 'too negative' so she didn't want to be around me anymore. Cool beans'"
Conflict Of Interest
"Apparently my not wanting children and taking two semesters off university instead of one to work meant we didn't have the same path in life. Folks, he was dating a gal very seriously at the time, and we had a sibling like relationship. I can't imagine how my reproductive choices were relevant."
"Needless to say, the fact that someone I loved as a brother ended our friendship out of the blue for such strange reasons broke my heart. While I realize now that he clearly wasn't much of a friend, to this day I still wonder why he really ended the friendship, because normal people don't end friendships for that reason."
A Bad Exit
"I had a friend who got drunk, had a fight with her drunk BF and they left the bar drunk, BF driving, still arguing."
"The car was going 75 mph when she thought it was a good idea to open the door and step out of the car."
"I ended a 20 year friendship with my best friend cause he refused to get vaccinated and I'm at higher risk. He had high risk relatives and I couldn't understand why not, so I bluntly told him how I felt, he got mad and cussed me out and I haven't talked to him in months."
To my knowledge, I don't think I ever "lost" a friend due to disrespect or having a bad fallout.
But, like, most people, I have had friends who have become distant. The main reason, in my case, is because the people with whom I often used to get into plenty of mischief have become parents.
Suddenly, babies became the priority, and I found myself no longer having anything in common with my parent friends.
We'll still keep in touch, of course, although not as often.
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Woman Furious After Fiancé Isn’t Invited To Friend’s Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn’t ‘Valid’
This article is an ode to the "friend-dump" and the power of growth. Boundaries are awesome, dear readers. Growth and development are awesome.
Some of these friendships, though... not awesome.
They say friendships form for a reason, a season, or a time. If we're lucky, that time gets to be a really long one - but more often than not things are going to go sideways.
Sometimes friendships fizzle out, people drift apart, maybe someone moves or gets a new job... but every now and then there's one defining moment where you look at someone and think "yeah... I'm gonna have to friend-dump you."
Reddit user FeelThePower999 asked:
"What was the moment you looked at your friend and realized they were no longer a friend and you were going to cut ties?"
Sooooo yeah... boundaries. Let's watch people plow right on through them, shall we?
We're Too Old For Shunningrachel mcadams blow kiss GIFGiphy
"She threw a big 30th birthday party for all her friends. She purposefully invited one girl she'd had a falling out with to come two hours later than the party started."
"Before the girl showed up, she told everyone that the girl was a b*tch and we should all shun her. The poor girl came in with a big expensive present, so happy that her & her where mending things, just to be ignored and belittled by over 30 people."
"The girl left crying. I left not long after and ghosted the sh*t out of my ex-friend."
"She was a minor celebrity in my country. I already saw people take a lot of bad behaviour from her before this happened, but this just pushed me over the edge. People get weird around celebrities, no matter how minor." - fluffyfluffycake
Rooting Against MeThe Princess Bride Boo GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"I was waiting for news of a big career opportunity for a few months, and the sound of relief and satisfaction in her voice when I told my friend it fell through made me realize how hard she had been internally rooting against me."
"Feeling jealous of a friend who has a good thing happen is just part of what it means to be human. But, in that moment, the fact that her response didn't seem mixed with any sympathy for my sadness made me look differently at the dynamics of that friendship."
"I think she genuinely liked me, but not being the "star" in our friendship was too much for her."
Different With An AudienceAwkward Dj Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy
"When they started treating me different around other people."
"Together just the two of us, everything was great. In a crowd I became ignored except for when I was the butt of jokes. I'm not thin skinned, I'm not talking about not being able to take a joke."
"It's more that they act embarrassed to know me or want to distance themselves."
"You feel played, betrayed, let down and over all like a fool. I've come to realize it's 100% the other persons insecurity, though. Hurt people hurt people - and I don't have time for that insecure bull." - slugvegas
How Little InterestGo Away Reaction GIFGiphy
"I tried to talk to a guy who I thought was my friend about something going on between me and my Dad for a few minutes during a drive."
"He flat out silently stared at his phone - until I said something semi related about him. That is when he perked up and started telling me about how much money he'd made recently, and how he got all of this free weed from someone and boy was his life sweet."
"I sorta just 'mhm'ed' my way through it because it was obvious he had been ignoring me, and when he got to the end of his brag session he in all serious told me he was pretty offended at how little interest I showed in what he'd been saying." - CommercializedPan
Losing My Religionmusic video 90s GIFGiphy
"When I told them that I left my high demand religion. They said we no longer had anything in common."
"What?? 30 years of friendship over in 1 conversation?! Plus, I had been out of the religion for years, but they never knew. Our friendship was fine."
"Once official, I was 'no longer trustworthy, sinful and lost.' That was the end for me."
"It's their loss, not mine." - Gotagoodkidney
"This happened to me. My husband and I left Mormonism and our best friends (so close we were like family) ghosted us over it."
"When my husband confronted his friend about it, the guy said a bunch of vicious stuff about us and claimed they'd never really liked us. It broke my f*cking heart."
"That was more than three years ago and I still have dreams where I'm trying to reconcile with them." - Confident_Basket8694
His AlibiSeason 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
"We kind of fell out a while ago and haven't spoken much, but today I learned that he seems to have been using me as an alibi to cheat on his wife."
"She texted me about us having drinks the other night & we haven't done anything socially outside of work since before COVID. Without going into detail I'm certain my confused reaction blew up whatever bull he's been telling her."
"I am not in the habit of lying to people & wouldn't cover for someone in this situation unless it involved a psycho abusive spouse, a "we went on one date" stalker - that kind of thing... Even then I'd need some kind of heads up beforehand!"
"So I don't know what he's been trying to pull, but any hope of rekindling any friendship is now 100% gone. I'm not his alibi." - 3dogsinatrenchcoat
The "Backup Wife"Dean Winchester Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I had a close friend from childhood who was very into the traditional lifestyle, with wife, kids, house with a picket fence, part of the PTA and church. Even in high school."
"He would date anyone that would have him, and ignore us until they broke up and he'd come crawling back. We were best of friends so we always were glad to have him back involved in our group. He went to college literally because he was looking for a girl to marry."
"He ended up dropping out after 2 yrs, and getting a job delivering auto parts where he started dating and married his boss's daughter. They popped out 3 kids right in a row, and every time I talked to him things were "great" but he just would stop responding to me more and more often."
"He was 110% devoted to his little family which was great, but he just stopped being my friend. I'd invite him to get together and he would always just say 'oh why don't you come over here, you can see the kids.' "
"That was fine, but his wife and he would just be on me the whole time about how I'm not really an adult because I dont have a family, my job was putting my ability to have kids at risk (firefighter) and that I basically only had value if I was breeding."
"So part of the distancing was me honestly. I didn't like having to put up with that just to see my friend."
"Long story short, his wife cheats on him, they divorced and she's instantly pregnant with another guy's baby. He comes to me broken over this and we get close again. Really close."
"I drove him to therapy, watched his kids while he was laying in bed all day, unable to get up and brought food for his family."
"I opened up about why I felt we drifted apart in the first place. He actually apologized and admitted he suspected that was why. I thought I had my best friend again."
"Until he met another girl and I started seeing less of him."
"He started flaking on me to hang out. When I did come over, the remarks about 'doing the adult thing' would come out again. His new girlfriend had 3 kids too, so he started joking about being the Brady Bunch."
"I hung on trying to keep the friendship together because I felt bad for not trying enough last time, but he was sliding back into the old him. I was sitting looking at a text he sent after ignoring me for a week that said 'lol, yes, well maybe you'll find a good woman like I did and finally grow up' "
"I suddenly realized I was the only one trying to be a friend, and I just didn't give a sh*T anymore. I deleted his number and haven't heard from him in 2 years. Last thing I heard from him was that text."
"I realized he didn't want to be my friend so much as I was his 'backup wife.' I was easy to fall back on when he found himself single, that's it."
"I'm thinking he may reach out again when he finds himself single again. I won't be there to answer." - The_Great_Blumpkin
Childhood BeautyToddlers And Tiaras Beauty GIFGiphy
"Friend invited me to see her 4 yo daughter perform in a beauty pageant. Ugh, I know, but whatever I wanted to support the kid."
"The little girl sang a sob song about some kid praying to Jesus about their dead mommy. My friend whispered to me that the song 'always won brownie points with the judges'. Again, ugh."
"After the girl performed she came to stand by us in the audience and my friend SMACKED the child's tummy and scolded 'suck it in, no one likes a fat kid.' "
"Yep, I was DONE. I walked out." - noseymimi
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh MyyyTeachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...
Sounded Like An IncelCuff Him Season 2 GIF by American GodsGiphy
"He started saying some pretty gross stuff about this girl who was his friend. She wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and he was pissed about it."
"I told him he sounded like an incel. That's when I started pulling away."
"The last time I saw him was after he got out of prison on bail and wanted to discuss why he was in there and why it was pretty definite he was going back after his trial." - ultravioletblueberry
Google CalendarInterested Kim Kardashian GIFGiphy
"A former friend was going through a divorce that she had instigated by cheating on her ex. She was very, very upset that most people in her circle had sided with her ex."
"I did not pick a side, in part because I was very aware of the sad state of their relationship when she decided to end it. However, she began demanding that I pick a side."
"That led to a slow cooling in our friendship, which blew up one day when I met up with the ex for a beer. Right before we met up, the former friend started frantically texting, wanting to meet up."
"Turned out she had access to my Google Calendar and was following my motions through there."
"She was pissed that I met up with her ex (who was also a friend) and tried to sabotage it. After that I decided I was done with her."
"Too weird, too creepy and controlling. Still friends with the ex, though." - bonbonnibles
They Still Haven't Apologizedblack and white beyonce GIFGiphy
"We were like glue for years. They got me through some of the toughest times, and I was always there right back."
"Then the final 3 years it began to be more and more about them. Would only want to talk if it was their hobby, their problem, their needs.'
"I still gave my all, and burnt myself out being there without a single boundary. I assumed we were operating at an unspoken 'if the roles were reversed, you'd do the same for me' "
"Then a few months back they changed completely. Got a horrible partner. Rude, bigoted, classist, all-round a-hole."
"And it was like I never existed. I was heartbroken. I did everything I could to fix that friendship."
"The day where I realized it wouldn't, couldn't, and I didn't want it to go back to how it was, was when we had a big, tearful heart to heart. They didn't care at all."
"They were upset because they'd lost me, but not because of ME. They were upset over losing what was, essentially, their free on-call therapist."
"Their a-hole boyfriend left them. Their life was becoming miserable and stagnated. Their other friends were also showing their true bad colors."
"I moved cities the next day."
"We agreed to be amicable. I've noticed I only get messages when they want attention. I don't rise to it anymore. We don't talk."
"Side by side, glued together for almost a decade, genuinely inseparable. And after a couple months of mourning… I don't miss them anymore."
"They still haven't apologized."
"No loyalty to our friendship."
"She made a lot of poor choices. Talked about me behind my back and then tried to play it off like she was 'gathering info' to tell me."
"She continued to like photos, and stay friends on social media with my ex boyfriend who assaulted me, and much more."
"I haven't cut it off, but I'm slowly distancing myself because I know she won't think she really did anything that big of a deal. Some people just don't care about you but are really good are telling you what you want to hear."
GhostedDance Dancing GIF by HeadexplodieGiphy
"When we graduated high school, a friend of 5 years ghosted my boyfriend and me. This was the guy my boyfriend considered his best friend and was planning to ask to be his best man if he ever gets married."
"We would reach out when we knew he was coming to town through other friends. He always said he was too busy this time but maybe next time."
"According to a friend who went to the same university as him, he apparently wanted to have a restart. That meant erasing everyone from his life who didn't go to his college that was 2 hours away from our hometown."
"A year later he comments on a social media post, asking me how we are doing and saying that we should hang out. I'd like to say I had forgotten about him but actually I was still salty about the silent treatment."
"I unfriended him, deleted his number, and never heard from him again."
You Don't Traumatize A ChildWhat Is Wrong With You Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Basically, my 'friend' and his partner are codependent. Like- on school nights, they'd sleep over at each other's houses and stay there for weeks on end."
"This dude practically couldn't live without his partner and the relationship is toxic and abusive as hell. One time, the partner was being practically disowned by their mom for being trans and had their phone taken away for a few hours while they 'thought about their decision.' "
"To be clear, I don't like this person's mother."
"Anyway, the younger brother was in the living room at the time when the mother walked in and started ranting about the partner, and the brother nodded along out of fear of getting into trouble as well."
"The partner, once they'd gotten their phone back, started telling everyone about this and claimed that their brother had talked sh*t about them and was transphobic, etc."
"This man tried to text this ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD about his 'relapse' (WITH PICTURES!) And it would've happened if one of our mutual friends hadn't stepped in and told him off."
"That's where I draw the line. You don't traumatize kids who just try to stay out of trouble."
"I pretend to be all Buddy-Buddy with this guy because his mom works at our school (he could seriously f*ck up my future if he tried) but I despise him."
The Common DenominatorOlivia Munn What GIFGiphy
"She kept trash talking every one of her coworkers at every job she's ever held. Not that she had time to get to really know anyone since any job she had she would be at for only a few months (and no they weren't seasonal)."
"There would be looong periods of unemployment in between."
"Also- every place she's ever lived she's had problems with the landlords. So yeah. She was clearly the common denominator."
"The Look"i see you GIF by Face The TruthGiphy
"Another girl had just barely walked away from a conversation with our group when these two 'friends' started talking trash about her."
"I jokingly said: 'wow I hope you don't talk about me like that!' "
"The look they gave each other said it all."
Now that we've read Reddits stories, it's your turn. Tell us about the times you knew a friendship had run it's course. I can't wait to read these comments...