There are roughly 100 thousand children every year, in the United States alone, who are awaiting adoption.
And not just babies or infants.
This includes children in their teens and pre-teens.
They often need to be adopted owing to sad circumstances, like being taken out of homes where they were neglected and abused.
Sadly, the transitions into their new life are often turbulent, and while the eventual outcome is often happy, that sadly isn't always the case.
"Parents who have adopted a older child (5 and up), how has it gone for you? Do you regret it or would you recommend other parents considering adoption look into a older child?"
If You Want To Do It, Be Sure You Want To Do It For Them.
"Adopted a child who was 11 when I was 21."
"He was my wife's younger cousin and his household was marred with substance abuse, filth, instability, and mental health issues."
"Knew it was bad but didn't know how bad."
"Took him (11) and his brother (14) for a summer once, just to give them a break from, what we thought was, a dirty house with an overwhelmed parent."
"Until I took them back the week before school started and saw the filth first hand, the smell and the random people coming in/out, the wreckage we were about to have to leave them in, the fact that in this time his Xbox and games, I had hand-me-downed him, has been sold along with their TV."
"The two had 1 mattress on a floor and the younger one said 'I can't wait for school to start back' and when I asked why, he said 'Because then I get to eat every day, like when I'm at your house'."
"I told them to just get back in the car."
"His mother never even called to ask why he or his brother didn't come home until tax season, to make sure we didn't claim them on our taxes, etc."
"Never wished him a happy birthday, Christmas, nothing."
"My wife and I grew up very quickly."
"We worked hard and got full custody about a year later when he was 12."
"He grew up healthy and happy, successful with great grades and a good head on his shoulders."
"His brother who was 14 lived with us for the first year then would go back and forth trying to help his mom get her life together before returning again, but for the most part during those years, the younger child we had full custody of and the older child came/went as he needed."
"It wasn't until years later when the younger of the two moved out with his friends, instead of taking our offer to go to college right after school, and began having substance abuse issues of his own that we learned the extent of the abuse he had endured at home for nearly his entire childhood and kept inside."
"Sexual and physical for years starting when he was about 5 from his mothers 'friends' and boyfriends and even a family member due to their terrible situation."
"It was heartbreaking."
"He ended up going through a pretty severe addiction period in his early to mid 20s and regardless what we've tried and how many small successes we've worked with him to reach, he always ends up in a severe depression and turning back to drugs again."
"The last time I talked to him, about a week ago, I told him I loved him and would help him get into a very nice rehab community when he's ready and help him get a good job and place for himself, but only when he's ready to be clean and until then, we simply can't do anything with/for him..and it was hard to do."
"I am in the 2nd half of my 30's now, have 3 children in grade school who need me like he did then who also love him, our oldest looks at him like a big brother, but unfortunately we have to keep our distance a bit so they don't have to see close-up the ugly side of addiction in someone they love."
"Now that he's an adult in his mid 20's himself making these choices, we can't have any real relationship other than the occasional call or letter until he's done."
"He loves them too, but he's got some demons that we cannot possibly understand and until he's ready to get help for them or help for his addiction, we don't have much of a relationship."
"His brother worked hard and straightened their mother out over the years into a functioning adult and mother, got her life together, a job, a place, everything and as adults, never left her."
"In fact, due to him, his brother spent the last year of his teens sharing our household and hers back/forth which wouldn't have been possible without him."
"The older brother and her are roommates now and we are very proud of him for the man he's become, what he's persevered, and the incredible progress he's made with their mother and how he's stuck by her side now providing as equals."
"I never realized it, but he and I really grew up together, only being 5-6 years apart in age and were best friends for years as young adults even after his younger brother moved out."
"One of my biggest regrets is somehow letting those days end."
"He loves his brother too, but his and his mother's relationship with his brother is the same as ours, the delicate balance between helpful/love vs enabling due to understanding the pain he's probably trying to understand/repress, until he's able to beat this, and he will."
"Nothing is perfect, just what you make of it I suppose, but it has highlighted to us how important the early years of a child's development are and how damaging all forms of abuse can be, regardless how much effort you put into trying to change things afterward, and also how important it is for a child to have an adult who genuinely cares about them, since sadly many don't."
"Would I recommend it?"
"Yes, but be honest with yourself why you're doing it and know what you're getting into."
"You're not getting a good/bad kid, you're getting an opportunity to be a good/bad parent."
"Children this age need you as much as a baby does, they bring happiness the same as a baby does and also present their own unique challenges the same as parents do, which is what they're signing up for too without knowing, and most importantly the reason you should be adopting is for them."
"You get to give your love, time, affection and a portion of your life, and heart, too."
"Would I do it again?"
"Every single time."- saaatchmo
Be Prepared.
"My wife and I adopted an older girl from our state's foster system."
"The girl was 13 when we adopted her and we were told she had a rough childhood full of abuse and she had been diagnosed with 'general mood disorder'."
"Little did we know that the psychological assessment was done by an unqualified state doctor and this little girl had severe issues that required more care than my wife and I were prepared for."
"We spent 5 years dealing with fighting, arguing, run away attempts, drug use, alcohol abuse, constant emotional manipulation, constant lying, stealing, etc."
"She was also in constant contact with her schizophrenic birth mother behind our backs, the woman kept feeding our daughter conspiracy theories and lies and constantly making the situation worse for all of us."
"We tried the best we could for 5 whole years, trying various different therapists, trying different parenting methods, seeing different doctors, all to no avail."
"It wasn't until about 5 months before her 18th birthday that we had to have her committed and we finally got a proper diagnosis."
"She was diagnosed with bi-polar and BPD and we finally had an answer to the years of hell we all had to go thru."
"We did our research and learned the proper way to parent a child with these conditions and things began to improve over the last few months she was with us, but on her 18th birthday she bailed and we haven't seen her since, that was 5 years ago."- Dragonace1000
The Love They Never Knew
"I feel I got lucky."
"He was 9 when we adopted him, but he was just grateful to have a home and people who loved him."
"My wife and I love him dearly as he does us."- TyrannoDragon
Have Absolutely No Doubts.
"My pre-adoptive son just moved in 6 weeks ago."
"He’s almost 10."
"Him getting here has been a bit of a long and wild story but he’s been in care since he was 6."
"It hasn’t been easy but there’s SO many older kids who need families."
"My biggest thing is just to make DAMN sure you’re committed."
"Know your limits."
"Be honest with yourself and your adoption coordinator."
"And demand honesty from the social worker as well."
"Ask for psych evals and treatment histories."
"Because if you convince yourself 'oh I can handle this' and you change your mind?"
"You are re-traumatizing that child."
"My son has complex trauma from years of abuse but the thing he talks about most after his meltdowns?"
"Having to leave his first pre-adoptive home because he kept losing his temper and throwing things."
"He’s been in 4-5 placements and a PRTF since then."
"I work with girls involved in juvenile justice so I felt uniquely prepared for this situation and even for me, it’s been physically and emotionally exhausting."
"I’m a single parent and we’re in the middle of a global pandemic so I’m sure that’s a factor."
"But if you choose to adopt there shouldn’t be any 'changing your mind' or 'this just isn’t working out'."
"That kiddo is part of your family."
"My son and I have a little mantra 'together forever. Even when things get hard, even when things get sad'.”- camilouwhooo
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"I adopted a 7 YO from foster care in 2017."
"It was an absolute failure."
"My wife pushed me to choose this child even though I didn’t feel the 'sparks' everyone talks about when meeting or hearing about their kids."
"I separated from my wife in 2018 and we shared custody for about a year."
"I asked her for a short break, and she took the child and never returned him."
"I can’t say I’m unhappy about her choice."
"I didn’t really fight for her to bring him back."
"I have seen him only a few times since then."
"I care for him as a human being and of course wish no harm upon him, but I’m not his parent."
"It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve been through."- bearbearbare
Older children who are hoping to be adopted need love above all else.
Sadly, love can't solve every problem.
But any parent committed to loving their children, no matter how difficult things might get, will ensure that they will somehow, in some way come out on top of all their troubles.
Even if it sometimes takes more love than you can possibly imagine.
People Who've Been In The Foster System Share Advice For People Who Want To Become Foster Parents
Deciding to foster a child, while clearly admirable, is the furthest thing from a no-brainer. So much consideration must go into the decision to provide safety and security to a child who hasn't always had it.
Nobody has ever left a thriving, trauma-free family dynamic and found themselves suddenly plopped into the foster care system.
A child arrives there because the adults in their lives have struggled to give them what they need, be that love, nutrition, physical safety, or stable emotional environments.
So a foster parent enters a child's narrative a little after the fact. That can make the whole experience a real challenge.
Curious to learn the specifics of those challenges, Redditor RaeRai293 asked:
"People who are or have been in the foster system: What would you say to someone who is considering becoming a foster parent?"
Many people unpacked the nuanced dynamics of a well-known element of foster care: children arrive with a history of trauma.
Come Ready
"I had a friend growing in up whose biological parents were foster parents. I remember that when I went round I wasn't allowed alone with certain children there. We are still friends now and said that alot of children are from abusive families, physically, mentally."
"So you need to be prepared to receive children that have experienced horrific things in their life and the baggage that brings."
You Will Not Be Perfect
"Take care of yourself. You are not a superhero. If you don't remember self care (mental, emotional & physical), you will struggle."
"You cannot give from an empty cup and foster kids will drain you. They are suffering from trauma and you will feel that. Don't ignore your needs or they will suffer more."
-- hbrich
Prepare for Some Sorrow
"It can be extremely heartbreaking. My aunt and uncle fostered a few kids. The 2 youngest girls were i believe 6 and 4 when they took them in. Their birth mother was an addict and sex worker."
"I remember once we had planned a camping trip."
"When we told them we were going camping they started hysterically crying. I later found out to them 'camping' was sleeping out in the streets."
Coming on the back of those upsetting realities, the foster parent's conduct and parenting style needs to be very deliberate.
Stay Cool
"Regardless of how long the kid stays with you, they will remember how you treat them. Be patient, many may not understand what is happening at first. Most will be angry but even if they upset you don't let it show."
-- JustAnAce
It's Not About Your Opinion
"Have lots of empathy for everyone involved. Put aside your judgments and listen. Figure out how you can best serve the kids. There is no magic pill that will help them. It takes time, therapy, patience and a lot of empathy."
-- hbrich
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Not For No Reason
"go easy on them. We dont act out because we just feel like it or hate you, we act out because we're not used to being treated nicely and in the back of our head we always know that we could be sent away any day so we might not wanna get attached too fast."
"my sister and I went into foster care when we were really young and we came from a very abusive family so we just expected every family to be like that? I'd flinch every time someone tried to touch or hug me and I still don't like it. you just gotta be very patient because you never really know what they went through"
-- theo_potato
Last, others reminded folks that the point of foster care is to provide temporary safety until the child can, ideally, return home.
For obvious reasons, that's so important for people to get straight.
Know the Goal
"The system is designed to reunify families as its first goal. If you are in it to adopt you will have conflicting priorities. If you're not, you should keep in mind that in order for a successful reunification to happen, you really need to forge a relationship with the bio parent(s) and in a sense, foster them as well."
"Almost all parents who are part of the system probably should have been foster kids based on what they grew up with. Treat the kid (s) as part of your family but recognize the pain of a parent having their child taken away. Regardless of what they did, they are probably hurting"
-- hbrich
A Different Thing Entirely
"The goal of foster care is reunification, not adoption. I wish more foster parents understood that. You're not entitled to someone else's child, and foster care is not some free version of adoption."
"It can be a result, but the goal 99% of the time is reunification with bio parents. Also, no matter the situation, there WILL be trauma. It's not easy."
Remind Children Too
"First of all; As a foster you are part of a system trying to reunite families."
"First time children are going to be confused and frightened, reassure them that everyone, including you, is working on getting them back to their family."
"Children that have been in the system before will still be frightened, but might not show it, they may also be scared of going back to their parents."
"Each will be different and you need to adjust to their needs. Emotional and physical."
"Treat them as you treat your own child. This means feeding them the same,(and healthy foods) getting the clothes they need, making sure they get to the dentist and doctor, giving them treats/toys/fun things as well."
"Give them their own safe space."
"Allow them to make choices (which shirt/shoes do you want? Do you like this food? What meal do you want tonight, choice 1 or chose 2?) They have no control in their own lives, this helps give them some control."
"Get them a suitcase, that's theirs, that they can take with them when they move on. Most don't have one."
"Give them an allowance from the money you get for housing them and spend the rest of the money on things they need. It's for them, to help you care from them and it's not yours to vacation on or by your (bio) kid a new iPad."
"THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU FOR THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Someday you may be a horror story about their past, or you may be the one who gets remembered fondly and with love. You dammed better be the one they remember with love."
Perhaps fostering a child has crossed your mind in the past. Here's hoping this list helped you iron out your motives, concerns, and confidence level.
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People Who've Been Homeless Explain What Those First Nights Without A Home Were Like
Becoming homeless is an experience many hope to never live through.
However, that fear is a daily reality for millions already. You may not know what to do when the time comes. However, what appears to be standard, as evidenced by these stories, is the first night will be rough. Very rough.
Reddit user, Eniv3n, wanted to hear about the first night without a roof over your head when they asked:
"People who are / have been homeless, what was the first night without a home like, and how did you adapt to your new situation?"
Happy Campers
"I was about 9 years old, and my mom said we were going on a camping trip. I didn't really suspect anything, as it was summertime and we went camping a lot when I was younger. Although I did wonder why we were packing so much stuff. After a few weeks of "camping," I started to complain, but my mom kept insisting that it was good for us to get in touch with nature, etc. Then school started, and we were still camping. And we kept camping for another 6 months. When we finally got a house, my mom cried with joy. And we don't camp anymore."
Skas1n
Sugar Drop
"I remember being really hungry and acting weird because of the low blood sugar, almost delirious. This was when I made a futile attempt to run away from an abusive home with no money. I ended up going back because of that."
DryResolution6
It All Came Crashing Down
"I was only homeless for about six weeks, at 36 years of age. After several years of depression and anxiety slowly eroding my resources, relationships and general will to try anymore, I ended up having a final blowout with my gf, who reasonably couldn't handle me anymore."
"I started sleeping at work, which wasn't even a full-time job."
"The delicacy involved in not getting caught, and the freedom from the extremely unhealthy state my relationship had been in, kept my mind away from the absolute, abject terror that was hiding beneath the surface; the scary part of homelessness for me was the growing sense that if I fell any further I'd probably never get back up. It takes resources to be clean, fed and rested, and if you aren't those things it's very hard to get resources, let alone find the will to try. But that first night was all triage, all focused on being sure the second night wasn't going to be on the street."
"I pulled it off for six weeks, and that time, actually, saved my life; I was away from conflict, intimately connected to how dire my circumstances had become, forced into a very regular schedule (routine is really good for me but nigh-impossible in a depressive state), and, without bills, was able to save enough for damage-deposit and rent."
"I still struggle with depression in a pretty serious way but the animal terror of having no where and no one really seared itself into me. A better motivation would be the-future-i-want than the-future-i-fear, but as it stands I at least have a motivator strong enough to escape the incredible gravity of mental illness."
thisimpetus
The Loneliness
"I was kicked out by my mother at 16 and spent 2 months homeless before the local authority placed me in foster care."
"I think what hit me first was how my own mother could make one of her own children homeless. I felt like the least favorite of her children - it all came out of nowhere, I racked my brain for years after, trying to think of what I might have done in particular."
"Also the crippling loneliness you feel when you are trying to get hold of people to ask for a place to sleep for the night. I could not feel more alone in the world when someone would either not answer my message or tell me they were busy."
"I'm pretty sure I camped out in the park that night. Didn't sleep at all."
disint3gration
Dope Sick
"I was getting high, so it really didn't truly sink in until I was broke and dope sick. Then the desperation started. Going to gas stations jumping car to car asking for money. Stealing what I had to. It was a miserable existence. There are so many things you don't think about when your not homeless... taking a shower, washing your clothes, and the boredom. Hours upon hours of nothing to do. And the constant noise. There was nowhere to go where it was truly quiet."
"Fortunately I eventually got arrested for shoplifting reached out to family who helped me get back on my feet"
eternalrefuge86
Savior Mom
"Had a single mom. We slept in a station wagon at the lake. We thought it was just an amazing summer camping trip. Mom didn't sleep much at all and when she did the slightest sound/movement woke her. Kept a pistol within hands reach at night since we had the windows down"
Fruitjustlistens
Had to Go
"I lived at school until I dropped out due to a bunch of personal reasons piling up. My mom was mad that I dropped out and wouldn't even talk to me the first few days after and my relationship with my father is complicated/nonexistent."
"I took the train to my home town, even though I didn't know what I would do or where I would go when I got there. I ended up staying the first night in my brothers room (not quite an apartment, just the one room with a kitchen and bathroom he shares with like 5 other people)."
"After that, I posted to social media that I was in this unfortunate situation, and a friend I had lost touch with despite once being very close offered that I could stay with him and his fiance until I got a place of my own."
"I never actually had to sleep outside, and I found an apartment after about one month so all in all I was pretty lucky with how it turned out."
"Oh and my mom and I are cool now, and my dad and I are also trying to rebuild our relationship after he finally divorced his no-longer-new wife (I've always referred to her as his new wife even though it's been over a decade)"
Xeeroy
No Safety
"I was homeless for a little while in the 80's. Its terrifying at first. You feel so unsafe. I was a teenager, and wasn't willing to close my eyes and sleep on a park bench alone. So, I went to a local shelter and lied about my age. The forced me to shower and do a pee test. It turns out the women in that shelter were scarier than the street so the next night I didn't go back. I slept in a park but ultimately made squatter friends and stayed with them. It was very much a community and I felt safe and loved there."
"The biggest problem with being homeless in the city is no one wants to let you use the bathroom. Even park bathrooms are locked. Squat peeing in between cars can be done quickly and undercover, but when you get your period its a nightmare.These days I have stability so I never pass a homeless person without buying them some food or giving them a little money. And if they use it for drugs or alcohol I don't care. Living on the streets is HARD, drink if you need to my friend."
doingthebattybat
Lies
"My ex wife made up a bunch of crap to get a restraining order. I got served at work while she simultaneously shut off my phone service and locked me out of our shared bank account."
"This was Jan 7 2016. I had a t-shirt and slacks to wear for clothes, and no where to sleep. My car didn't have working heat. Thank God for my parents who got me a hotel, new phone, and some money for clothes."
"I ended up living in an extended stay hotel for 2 months while I looked for an apartment, and got my affairs in order. The restraining order was dismissed, the divorce went to trial, and I got the house and the kids."
Choadmonkey
Not the First Time
"I don't recall my very first time exactly. I do remember looking for a friend that was homeless and his friends ended up watching over me. Everyone was drunk except me. I didn't sleep."
"More recently. Less than a month ago I lost my housing and everything I own. I'm alone this time. I sleep during the day and browse Reddit at night. I was homeless for 10 years the first time. And I am terrified now."
Tag2112
Just Wanting To Be Left Alone
"My first night was cold and more depressing than anything. I didn't have anywhere to go, as shelters in my area didn't do intakes on the weekends, and as it was, there were only two shelters for men (aka actual shelters that offered resources to help remedy that, as opposed to salvation-army-type "work programs" that required 40+ hours of working for them for little/no pay to just not sleep in a gutter). I had eaten maybe a can of chili in the previous few days (I was officially homeless within a week of the new year) and felt like crap for having to steal food to get something to eat. It was still winter break, so I slept in some bushes and shaded areas at ASU by the memorial union to avoid being harrassed. I did not sleep much."
"One point at the middle of the night, a cop car drove on the sidewalk (the walks were very wide in this part of campus) a few times and even stopped on the other side of the bushes. I was sure I'd be arrested. But nope, it drove off a moment later and didn't bother me the res of the night."
"I was 20 at the time."
"As for how I adapted, I kept as hidden from attention as I possibly could until I could get an intake at a shelter. I then took full advantage and tried my best. I ended up hospitalized for bad mental illness. Round two was much the same but as I was deemed SMI (Seriously Mentally Ill) by the state, I was given more resources and had case managers working to help me get referrals to housing. I got disability on my own. I now live with a family member in another city, but plan to try to get either section 8 or public housing."
[usernamedeleted]
The Car Is Your Best Friend
"I was homeless for a couple of months a year or two ago. I had a car and a low paying job so I lived in the woods in a tent for a bit. The first night was miserable. I ended up sleeping really uncomfortably in the passenger seat of my car and it was a really cold night. After that I got a tent and slept on an old climbing pad I had. The first night was hell but the next several weeks were actually not so bad. I had a spot in the woods where I was well hidden and would cook over a fire. I really didnt have it that bad but it gave me quite a bit of sympathy for people who really do end up on the streets in a much more desperate situation."
beanersalad
From Couch To Recovery
"Slept in my vehicle, couch surfed with a friend, squatted in an unused trailer; all while still working at a Walmart. Saved enough to get a crappy apartment and just kept going from there."
Source_Points
Walking To Nowhere
"I kept waking up in the middle of the night and would start walking "home". I'd get a few steps then stop and realize I had nowhere to go and turn and walk back over and lay on the ground."
"The ground is very cold and I felt a lot of shame."
WannabeMoonKnight
Tabletop Sleeping
"First night my wife and I landed up sleeping outside we slept in a local park that I knew. We had come down from the countryside with a few Rands (enough for 1 meal maybe) and had hoped to stay with a friend. He was unable to give us a place to stay, so we had to sleep outside."
"After the insecurity of that 1st night I told my wife that we have to find a safer place to sleep, so we climbed up the slopes of Table Mountain (about a 1 hour walk) and found quite a obscured spot amongst some bushes and trees. We cleared it out of sticks and rocks, made it a bit habitable and then went make to the city looking for work. We'd spend the day going from one place to the next looking for work until it started growing dark. Then we'd head up the mountain to our little spot for the night."
"Did that daily for a month until we were able to secure a small shack room in the townships, where we stayed for another few months until I get a job offer."
"Was my wife's temp waitering jobs that kept us fed whilst I was looking for work."
"Biggest challenge was mental, keeping focussed, clean, looking presentable and just making my job looking for a job."
The_Shape_Shifter
Anything To Get Away
"When I was a teenager I had lots of problems with my mom, I pretty much chose to be homeless. I slept at a Catholic Church across from my high school so I could still make it to school and graduate early. I remember feeling really sad because I slept where they put peoples ashes, and I remember being so sad that those people could comfort me in death more than anybody alive. I used to talk to them, if there's camera footage I look insane. I never realized how alone I was in the world until I was homeless. And I never realized how cold concrete can be, it chills you right to your bones and is painful."
Gembloo336
Nothing But Negative Thoughts
"I started being homeless at 19, a previous foster parent put me out for coming home from college one night, and I had called up a friend last minute. When I started to realize I wouldn't be able to crash or stay anywhere, I am fairly certain I started to dread, and spiral into a constant, underlying depressive state. All I could think about was "am I going to die like this? Do I matter? Will no one help me? I'm sad, I'm scared. I don't want to feel like I have to beg. What if I'm stuck like this? Is this really my life right now?" 19-26 was a very challenging time..."
neko-oji
Finding Resources Wherever You Go
"Sleeping in my car wasn't that bad. It was summer, so it was pretty warm which was my biggest issue."
"Showered in the gym, and spent most of my day at the library before going to work."
"For the first few nights it wasn't bad. However one night police found me sleeping in my car and escorted me to the local homeless shelter, which was one of the most terrifying nights of my life. Since I'm lying there in a top bunk, when a huge argument breaks out because one guy breaks out some drugs, wouldn't share it with a second, then a third got pissed and started screaming at them to be quite because he needed to sleep."
22cthulu
Too Young To Comprehend
"I didn't really realize what was going on, I was about 6-7 at the time. Dad said we were going to go for a drive and to pack my backpack with all the clothes I could fit and one toy. Mom was just crying. Me and my brother sat in the backseat, he was a little older and was holding our Sega Genesis and looking scared."
"We drove for a little while (it was already getting dark) and we parked in front of a Walmart and dad said he had to rest for a while. Was the first of many... many nights we slept in the car."
"I remember one of my parents was always awake, with their hand in their coat pocket. Looking back it was obvious they had a gun for protection, sleeping in shifts."
Xstitchpixels
Nothing Will Ever Make You Ready For It
"It was terrifying and cold and hungry. I didn't sleep a wink. I adapted over time. Extremely steep learning curve to surviving homelessness."
"Nothing really prepares you for it."
QuokkaNerd
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As a long-standing icon for children's home education and entertainment, Sesame Street has made important strides for inclusion and destigmatizing difficult topics.
From wheelchair-bound to autistic, Sesame Street's writers have carefully crafted a series of characters that celebrate diversity, and their latest addition to the family is no exception.
Meet Karli, who lives in a foster care home with her "for-now parents," Clem and Dalia.
In an episode showing Elmo and Karli playing together and coloring, they discuss the difficult subject of Karli living in foster care.
Karli explains to Elmo that she is separated from her parents, who still love her but can't can't take care of her.
When Elmo expresses concern, she explains how she is living with her "for-now parents," who are teaching her how her heart can grow as more loved ones come into her life.
A Heart Can Growwww.youtube.com
In this truly touching video, Karli walks us through the wide array of things and people that can help the heart to grow.
The distinction offered in this short video is so beautiful and layered. There are multiple messages parents could use to start a conversation with their children, to teach them about foster and adoptive families, or to support foster or adoptive children of their own.
In the first heart, Karli explains, is a picture of her with her mom. Her mother is at her heart's core, and we are lead to think that she at one time filled Karli's entire heart, before she knew she could make room for more.
In the second heart, which is larger and surrounds the first, Karli depicts herself sharing a hug with her foster "for-now" parents, who embraced her, took her into their home, and began to teach her about accepting love from other places.
Then, in the next several hearts, we see Karli's confidence and excitement grow as she talks about making new friends, doing new activities with them and having pizza nights, and creating new, irreplaceable memories.
We can see her figuring out how each of the new people in her life, and each of her new likes, from the playground to pizza, are helping her heart to grow, and helping her grow into the person her future self will be.
This is such an important episode, because whether we're talking about foster care, or grieving the loss of a family member, or moving to a new place, there will always be new people, activities, and joys that will fill those empty spaces and help the heart to grow.
Much of what Karli points out relates to personal preference, self-fulfillment, and security, which are often just as important in creating happy, healthy selves as the people who are there to witness it.
Already viewers are taking notice and embracing Sesame Street's newest member of the family, and what this could mean for understanding foster care.
@CNN I really like that they are introducing this concept, as a child advocate it makes me super happy. 🤗— Jaspreet Singh (@Jaspreet Singh) 1558385262
@CNN Such a scary and often times heartbreaking time for children. I am glad to see them incorporate this into the… https://t.co/xWw6aiRV4v— Justin Miles (@Justin Miles) 1558384950
@CNN This is great. Kids navigating the foster system often feel lost or unwanted and it’s nice to see Sesame Stree… https://t.co/E9aQi5Z1io— Tina from HR (@Tina from HR) 1558385062
@sesamestreet @SesameCommunity I wish our orphanages & all foster parents would get to know Karli & this initiative… https://t.co/eAScl6Fewd— Jeremiah Liles (@Jeremiah Liles) 1558387734
@sesamestreet @SesameCommunity Im not crying you’re crying! 😭❤️— Aurea (@Aurea) 1558381607
No matter the family's situation, it's always important to introduce these various models of family units to every child, whether they are of a biological home or otherwise.
These conversations will grow children who are empathetic and socially aware.
It's great to see Sesame Street embracing another character on the diversity spectrum, and we can't wait to see who they invite to the family next.