Ewww David....
GiphyMy fiancee is a florist. She often sends me ridiculous messages she's been asked to attach to flower orders. My personal favorite so far:
"Sorry I knocked up your friend.
From: David."
Brutal.
We used to have a card that had a picture of a dog in a doghouse in it, used that one WAY too many times. Once someone had me write "sorry, but I'm choosing her. You can have the kids." Thought that was pretty brutal. I used the doghouse card, thought it was appropriate.
Yummy?
Giphy"Thanks for letting me borrow your deodorant!" It was an edible arrangement.
This sounds like something I'd do to prank my older brother.
Sorry Girl.
Not me but my florist mom; She had lady come in and get a decent bouquet and watched as she spent 20 minutes finding the perfect sympathy card just to write "Sorry you're such a dumb b***h."
Apparently it was for her sister; my mom, who has 3 sisters, could total.
Farewell....
"When you receive these I will no longer be alive"
Oh geez. My dad died on Feb. 1 of cancer, and he preordered Valentines flowers for my mom. He didn't put this on the card, but I hope that the person who did was in a similar situation and not suicide. Either way, it's a brutal reminder.
Pretty Please....
GiphyThis question is so perfect for me but these are the two I can remember most recently:
-"I love you, my dirty hooker" and "please unblock me on Facebook."
All Things Love & $$$....
I have quite a few... one of the most memorable was having a guy come in to drop off his note for the flowers we were delivering for a friends birthday. The note turned out to be a 6 page letter and apparently they are only "just friends" because she had turned him down before.
Then a couple weeks later it's almost Valentine's Day and he comes by again to order flowers for her and drop off another lengthy letter. We congratulate him because we thought that they must be together now but nope, she has a boyfriend now and he still wanted to send her flowers on Valentine's Day.
And one that was outrageous but not exactly because of the writing on the message card but what was in the message. It was on 5/20, and it was significant because he had 52 hundred dollar bills which he wanted us to wrap each individual rose in the bouquet with. He said he wanted to show his girlfriend how much he loved her and he knew she also loved money. So he wanted his girlfriend to be able to puck out each individual bill and be able to get the message of his love.
We have done money bouquets before but with significantly less money. So we told him we would do it only if he stood there and watched because we weren't comfortable with that amount of money and that it would take at least an hour, but he didn't really have the patience to wait that long so he just ended up paying for the 99 roses and we never knew how he ended up presenting the money.
The Cover-Up
My husband likes to send me flowers to work for Valentines Day with awkward messages knowing my coworkers will gush and ask me what it says. This year's card just said "Epstein didn't kill himself." It was in old lady handwriting so I can only imagine what the florist was thinking.
Whoopsies....
GiphyNot really a card message (though he might have written that on a card eventually), but while I was working as a florist a guy asked me to help select what kind of flower he should get to tell his girlfriend "Sorry I cheated on you". So, that.
Forget u, ciao....
So many amazing cards have been sent, anywhere from Puppy-play related cards (Look it up) to a singular guy sending 3 different arrangements to his wife, girlfriend, and mistress but the one that takes the cake is from a girl to a guy:
"Hey Screwface, Thanks for all the drunk messaging and crap; if you like me, then stop being a damn coward and make a decision bro. Forget u, ciao (Insert girl's name here)"
EDIT: SINGULAR guy (being tired is fun). Satoux3
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