A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, I’m gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia… but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. We’d established countless times over the last year that we weren’t into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I weren’t he wouldn’t go for me, yada yada. We’d talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought I’d had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friend’s input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but I’m bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say I’m not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you don’t look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize I’m NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
Individual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Sometimes when people speak, they leave you stunned.
You have to wonder what is running through people's minds.
Compliments are lovely until they sound like a reason for a restraining order.
Redditor dannydevitocuddles wanted to hear about the things people have said to others, thinking they were trying to make a person feel good, but just left bewilderment. So they asked:
"What's the weirdest compliment you've ever received?"
I lead with simple honesty when complimenting. Be me...
Umm...
Dentist GIF by girardentGiphy"Your oral cavity is wonderful to work with! So spacious! - my dentist."
Fessir
Head Beauty
"Was told I have a beautiful brain while doing a paid MRI study."
Dylan619xf
"I guess seeing the brain is just really cool for that person. Maybe it was the fact that he was seeing a real life active brain and the person using it, when usually any other picture of a brain is from an unloved textbook. It’s crazy to think that our whole world is stored in like five pounds of sentient flesh."
Piggus_Porkus_
From Behind
"My girlfriend in college once said that she wished she had legs like me."
HersheyTheBrownBear
"One of my daughters’s classmates saw me walking into school. When he found out I was her mum he said to her, 'Man, your mum looks like she could snap someone in half with those legs!' Thank you, leg press machine!"
OneArchedEyebrow
Readers...
"You look like you read books for fun."
Thehoobywotzit
"Better than my friends husband saying to me 'I didn’t know you could read' Lmfaoooo dude was such a jerk to me. I stopped talking to them. The really great thing is I remember before he said that to me he told us he doesn’t like to read because it hurts his head… Lol."
Stoneybaloney111
And my Nose?
listen i can't hear you GIF by NBCGiphy"You have a cool left ear"
"All i could think was 'well wtf is wrong with the right one?' Lol."
bigkeef69
Are you writing these down? Just to make sure they're NEVER used again!!
Ok Hannibal
Nba Playoffs GIF by Milwaukee BucksGiphy"Optometrist told me my eyes were physically perfectly healthy and they’d make perfect specimens."
onlyeverthus23
I can Run
"You are surprisingly nimble for a fat guy."
bigdaddy151025
"I've been chubby for years but when I was younger I was in gymnastics. Early high school I went to a friend's house for a little get together grill party thing. Some of the kids were dancing and tumbling and whatnot in the huge lawn they had. I proceeded to do a long a** string of cartwheels as I could still do it even as chubby as I had gotten. My friends were stunned. It was great xD."
Havik989
Sound Off
"I have a perennial baby face and am a pretty quiet/shy individual but have a deep voice. Someone in one of my classes held the door so I said thanks. The girl holding the door did a double take and shouted 'WAIT THATS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE???' And honestly that'll stick with me for the rest of my life."
SchuyWalker
Look Away
peeing feels so good GIFGiphy"Nice stream bro, while I was peeing in a bathroom at Chicago O'Hare."
CaptainChancla
People... y'all really need to think before you speak. Please. Oh my...
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Reddit user weird-n-nerdy asked:
"What are some effective ways to get a man to stop hitting on you?"
It's a heartbreaking fact of who we are as a society that women have to think this way ... but honestly, some of this stuff is genius.
Invitation To Negotiation
"Actual advice: never give a reason."
"Any reason is an invitation to negotiation for some people. It also gives them a sense that maybe they have an entitlement that's being blocked by 'reason.' "
"All the following work, depending on how nice you want to be, none give a reason."
" 'No,' 'not interested,' 'thank you, but no,' 'how nice, but not thank you,' 'I'm flattered, but no.' "
"If someone says 'why not?' Just repeat that you're not interested but move from polite to simple no."
"If someone persists past that simple no, then consider them a danger."
- dan_jeffers
GiphyBaby Runs For President
"There's a user on tiktok who shares a method called 'Baby Runs for President', where you basically ask them very blunt questions with the just shy of rude honesty that a toddler uses."
"You just keep asking stuff like 'what do you do?' 'what's that?' 'oh really? What's that?' and pretend not to understand a thing until the person gives up and leaves."
"The goal is to annoy/frustrate them into giving up while feigning interest to avoid bruising the ego."
- BossVal
"You don't want to seem interested. Ideally, you embarrass them."
"One of my friends had a perfect moment like this once. She was ringing up some creepy old dude, and his total ended in 69 cents. He tried to be all like: "
" 'That's lucky. It's my favorite number. You know why?' "
"She replied, 'Because it's your age?' "
"The people behind him in line died laughing."
- knitwit3
Grandma Burps
"Once a man was trying hitting on me in a bus."
"I was feeling very bloated and gassy... and burped aloud right in his face, like a huge grandma burp."
"The look on his face was priceless. He didn't bother me again."
- clementine-1017
Boss Babe
"Ask him to buy into your MLM scheme."
- virgilhall
"This is true."
"Had a girl tell me about this job she worked at called world financial group and it was such a turn off that I ghosted her."
"Little did she know I have been invited to 3 of them already and I only went out of boredom for the free snacks and drinks."
- alognoV
"Dude this worked on me! A very attractive girl tried to sell me on some weight loss shakes or something. Bye, bye!"
- CrazedInventor
"Can confirm it works."
"I was stuck on a ferris wheel on a date with her trying to sell some shady pyramid scheme."
- HowtoCrackanegg
Just In Case
"Tell the story of how your last boyfriend broke up with you, and how it was crazy of him to freak out just because you stored some of his semen in your fridge 'just in case.' ”
- ChrisChrisBangBang
"I would be appalled at this."
"A refrigerator? A home freezer isn't even cold enough to store it safely and you're talking about a fridge?"
"Good day, madam!"
- MackLuster77
"Jesus f*cking christ, what is wrong with people?"
"Semen won't keep in the fridge for much longer than a few weeks, it needs to be frozen in a sterilized container and stored pretty close to -200o C, because that's how cold it has to be to get biological activity to stop."
"Ugh."
- Secret_Autodidact
GiphyA Lightsaber
"One time all it took was the guy seeing my Star Wars tattoo. That was amazing for me."
"I have a lot of tattoos, one is a lightsaber. He was bugging be for several minutes before he noticed it, but he stopped and asked, 'Sorry, what is that a tattoo of?' "
"It’s nothing elaborate, just a small blue lightsaber. My brother has a matching green one, we got them together."
"So I said, 'it’s a lightsaber.' ”
"And without saying another word, he turned his back to me and walked away. It was awesome."
- Barfignugen
Makin' It Weird
"Get really weird, really, really fast."
"Weird them out so much that they think you're a freak - definitely don't do it in a sexual way."
"A friend of mine once did this to a guy who sat at our table on a night out. She went right down in conspiracy theories, asking him why his shoes think he's orange, all sorts of really weird stuff just to make him uncomfortable enough that he got up and left within a few minutes."
"It was impressive, actually."
- 64gbBumFunCannon
A Proper Bank Robber
"Wearing a mask has really cut down on my appeal to older conservative men, which has been great!"
- musclebarbie22
"That’s because those guys can’t use the 'smile' opening. The only opening those butt wipes know is to refer to your mouth."
"50 years ago those old dudes had dad’s that said, 'Son, if you compliment their smile, it’s in the bag.' And never learned another pick up line."
"Now you’re wearing a mask? Their brains cannot compute."
"It’s a miracle of science!"
- averagejanecitizen
"My wife told me that this customer told her 'it’s hard to mentally make love to you with that mask on, you should take it off.' ”
"She told me that she made a retching gesture and walked off then refused to serve him anymore."
- broken-not-bent
"Mask has been an utter blessing, but then I started getting 'I wonder if your smile matches those beautiful eyes.' "
"So, now I wear sunglasses with my mask and look like a proper bank robber at all times."
- BrownSugarBare
All Along The Watchtower
"My sister learned this from a friend and started doing this as well."
"She carried a couple of issues of Watchtower in her purse and when the guys started hitting on her, got a very earnest look on her face, pulled them out and started saying 'Have you been saved? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?' "
"It worked better than mace."
- JustinChristoph
Giphy"I'm A Mother"
"Saying 'Sorry, I’m not interested, I’m a mother.' then showing them (many!) pictures of my kids made miracles happen."
- quietdiablita
"This is great. And if they try to leave just say 'no no wait! I have more photos!' "
- Ok-Story-3532
" 'I’ve got some court dates scheduled because their dads aren’t paying child support, so it’s hard to find time...' ”
- DrinKwine7
"I don't really flirt with women. But this would definitely work for me. I despise children."
- Blood-Lord
"Tried this once, dude actually wanted to be a father and had an impregnation/pregnancy fetish. Fail."
- AlessiaRS18
Have you used any of these techniques?
Is there one you'd like to add to the list?
Let's get to it in the comments.
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"What are some effective ways to get a woman to stop hitting on you?"
The following can shatter their preconceived notions they've had of you.
Parental Guidance
"Tell her you have to ask your mom first."
– theomniconian
Community Creators
"Tell them about the discords you're an admin for"
"Ah nvm that never works."
– ThisAnswerIsLit
Two Options
"Tell her about your crypto holdings, and if that doesn't work, your desire for a good Christian wife at home giving you 9 kids."
– FlyingBike
More Time On The Pot
"On this same tip, just go to the bathroom constantly. Do it an inordinate and possibly annoyingly large amount of times. It will either annoy her and she'll end it, or ask what's up. If she does, you tell her you'd rather deal with your own sh*t than hers, hence all the time on the toilet."
– Im_still_T
These are considered instant turn-offs.
Auto-Response
"Bark at her."
"Edit: worked for a buddy."
– LatelySad
Potty Humor
"Flatulence."
– Fickle-Bat8433
"On this same tip, just go to the bathroom constantly. Do it an inordinate and possibly annoyingly large amount of times. It will either annoy her and she'll end it, or ask what's up. If she does, you tell her you'd rather deal with your own sh*t than hers, hence all the time on the toilet."
– Im_still_T
The Hiss
"Hiss at her and run away Naruto style."
– No_Web2325
Get Soiled
"You'd be surprised how many awkward social encounters sh*tting your pants will get you out of."
– Archangel616
Human Fire Hydrant
"Pee on her leg while she's standing next to you."
– TeenyIzeze
Going For The Jugular
"Nuclear option: Tell her you're not interested because she's fat."
"Had a girl who was 'with' my buddy at the time, and was going behind him and trying to get with me at a concert. I repeatedly told her no, because she was with him. She wouldn't accept that answer and kept pushing, saying she was done with him and over him. I dropped the F bomb after about 5 minutes of back and forth, with little alternative left. I got a slap in the face, but I didn't let my buddy's girl in my pants."
"Some women are very aggressive in their pursuit. O_o"
– Grifballhero
Do Social Media
"Open reddit."
– deathbylightmode
"I second this. create a new user make sure it has the word 'incel' in it too."
– luminous60
A little humiliation goes a long way.
Look At Me
"My face is usually effective enough at doing that."
– yeetgodmcnechass
Unapologetically You
"Being myself seems to have worked so far."
– khalamar
Letting Her In On "The Bet"
"Remind her that she didn't have to take that bet with her friends to hit on the ugliest guy in the room."
– Foxk
The First Thing
"Well step one is to be attractive enough to get hit on.... Step 1 is the hardest step 😔"
– asiansAREwatchingALL
Sometimes, the good ole fashioned truth is the best option.
Redditor decorama said:
"Be direct. 'I am flattered, but I'm sorry, I'm just not interested'. Done."
Everyone deserves a chance to be given credit for understanding the truth and moving on.
However, if they respond negatively, refer to any of the above to drop the bomb on the persistent women who can't take "no" for an answer.
Scat you later!
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