Redditor Fun-Lack7534 wanted to hear about all the big signs we need to watch out for when a romance begins, so they asked:
"What is the biggest red flag on a first date?"
If they're too touchy/feely from the jump, then jump... away.
Past Issues
Will Smith GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy"They keep talking about their ex."
Chocolatelover4ever
"Yikes, I'm guilty of that 😬."
palmtreegroove
Look Up Please
"When they won’t stay off their damn phone."
"I hate when this happens. Half the time I expect they are trying to show you something, but no, they are just browsing social media or texting. What's the purpose of meeting me at a restaurant then? You have WiFi at home and could do the same thing there haha."
Carbon-Base
"Had this on my last date, she wouldn't put her phone away. Later she even said, that I didn't talk a lot."
The_Shadowy
Who are you?
"They don't look anything like their pics."
ximby77
"I went on a date with a girl once. We matched on Bumble. She was like a supermodel gorgeous but I really don't care about looks, we just clicked and got along and that's all I care about. Well, we meet at Starbucks, and the girl looks a solid five years older and 200 pounds heavier than her pictures."
"I was obviously taken aback, and she eventually told me she used pictures that were many years old and slightly edited so that guys would go on dates with her. She then proceeded to talk about nothing but sex, in a public Starbucks, on the first date. We didn't have a second one."
whatisausername32
You're missing 2 wheels
"If they have you get on a motorcycle and burn your leg and then take you to McDonald’s."
Johncamp28
"One time, I went on a date with a guy who took me on his motorcycle to a restaurant. We get there, and he rides up onto the sidewalk and stops. I’m not really sure exactly how it happened, but I didn’t realize he was getting off, and so I stayed on."
"The whole thing falls over with me on it. So, I’m laying there on the sidewalk with my leg crushed by the motorcycle, and he just stands there gaping. Then, he had the nerve to get angry at me because some random guys who were standing on the corner came running over and picked up the motorcycle and helped me stand up."
virgincoconuhtballs
Yuck
Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULUGiphy"Poor hygiene."
edthebuilder5150
"Yup! Bad teeth and/or smells."
Take a shower.
Brush your teeth.
Do some laundry.
It's the basics.
Cheater
glenn close GIFGiphy"She says, 'By the way, I am married but my husband sucks and I want to cheat on him.'"
"I had this happen once."
jeophys152
Disinterested
"If someone spends a lot of the time telling what they don't want, what they don't like, instead of discussing their interests and yours, probably not a good sign."
CMarlowe
"Went on a first date once with a girl who had just gone through a divorce and was obviously nowhere near ready to start dating. She was beautiful, kind, smart, etc but really been screwed hard by her ex and talked about it the whole time."
"We had like a six-hour date and went to multiple locations and really had a nice time but I friend-zoned her super quick into the date. I figured it would be at least a couple of years before she was truly ready to start dating someone. In retrospect, I’m so glad because very shortly after I found my now-fiancé who is just amazing to me. When you exclude what is not right for you, you make room for what is."
GoodAsUsual
23?
"Lying about their age. The guy I went on a date with told me he was 23 (my age). I found out through a close friend and roommate that he was actually almost 30 and that his lying about that was the tip of the iceberg in terms of the red flags he gave off."
Bookkeptclean
"Yup, I went out on a date who lied about their age and appearance on a profile (years older and gained a lot of weight), and like the second sentence of the evening was her being like, 'So, let me explain about maybe things not being what you might have thought...' I don't even remember what the explanation was, but it obviously wasn't good enough."
irai2
Hidden Treasures
"She asks for a photo ID. Her apartment is a total pig pen when you pick her up. You sit on her sofa to wait for her to finish getting ready and find a knife in between the cushions. This all happened on a first date and I still took her out. What a dumda**."
"I took her out a couple of times (I was newly single and raising kids, so the pickings were slim). After a few dates, a friend of mine was shocked to receive a wedding invitation. OUR wedding invitation. I was more shocked than him. I don’t even know how she got the addresses of my friends. Just retelling this story is going to give me nightmares again."
Bacontheblog
Oh the search for romance is never going to be easy.
Will it?
"What's a common first date activity that people do that's actually really stupid to do for a first date?"
It's Hard To Decide How You Feel If You Can't Hear Yourself Think
"Loud bar."- AwkwardBlaque
Sometimes It's Worth The Gamble...
"My first date with my husband, (blind date, we talked on the phone once, I didn’t even know what he looked like) was to the symphony."
"It was an hour away and then there was the symphony with a full intermission worth of potential awkwardness, then a full hour drive back."
"I mean clearly the date went amazing."
"We went to ice cream afterwards and sat in his car talking until three in the morning."
"But I never thought about it until right now how potentially disastrous that evening could have been if we hadn’t had major chemistry."- jardinc
Best To Transport Yourself There...
"A long-ish car ride."
"I invited a first date to a great restaurant, fun environment too, but didn't think about the fact that it was about a 30+ minute drive each way."
"Kind of an awkward trip to and from, especially when it turned out that we really didn't have much in common."
"The trip back took a loooong time."- ElectricMan324
lowrider lowridermeatup GIF by Off The JacksGiphyDouble Trouble...
"In John Waters' memoir he talks about going to these 'Fright and Fight' double features where they would show a horror movie then a kung fu movie back to back."
"And I can't imagine how many poor women were taken to these to be subjected to not one but two bad movies in a row, only for the guy she's with to get in a fight in the parking lot afterwards trying to impress her."- stevebobeeve
...Though One Movie Isn't Much Better
"Going to a movie."
"Just staring at a screen instead of getting to know each other."- artemesia-vulgaris
Literally Trapped
"Escape rooms.'
"I work at one and the amount of first dates doing our rooms is too dang high."
"There aren't enough people to even play."
"If you show up with two, we make you pay for a third ticket minimum."
"You can't learn anything about each other because you're too busy playing."
"You will suck and you will get frustrated."
"Not a good look on a first date."- TJtherock
Season 8 Episode 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphyEven, Or Especially, If You Plan To Go Dutch
"An expensive dinner."- Throwie911
Somewhere You Can Talk, Without Shouting Or Annoying Others
"Movie, because your attention is not directed towards your date."
"Loud bar is worse."
"Quiet bar is best."
"Drinks to loosen the tongue and cozy atmosphere to reveal oneself."
"Plus, it's public enough that you can count on reasonably good behavior."- redditusernamehonked
A Good Idea In Theory, Less So In Practice...
"I took a girl to a first date at a wine and canvas thing."
"We both liked to draw and paint and had similar tastes in drinks."
'Lots to talk about and activity to occupy us if there was a lull in the conversation."
"Great idea, if only I had considered the fact that when I draw/paint I pretty much shut everything else out and just draw/paint."
"Poor girl spent 3 hours with me as I grunted out responses, had a scotch and painted something that I still use as a holiday decoration to this day."
"We did not have a second date."
"Don’t take people to a wine and canvas event if you turn into a monosyllabic, boozy artist."- ShiggityShua
Alejandro Jodorowsky Art GIF by Endless PoetryGiphyKeep It Intimate...
"Visit with anybody, friends, parents, neighbors."
"It's insane to be around people who know the person you are dating well, and not you at all."
"It's like a job interview in front of a panel."
"No fun at all."- luckygirl54
Generally speaking, trying to impress on a first date often ends with your efforts blowing up in your face.
Which is why trying to create the best first date imaginable often destroys any possible chance of a second date.
And truth be told, sometimes you can tell if there will be a second date based solely off their coffee or drink order.
Ice in white wine is never a good sign...
Are we so hopeful for love we'll ignore what is slapping us in the face? Why?
Wolf
Pbs Nature Wolf GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy"When he bit my forearm really hard after smelling the perfume on my wrist." ~ vanhamm3rsly
I hate charcuterie!!
"An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband. Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I'd wanted to try."
"Date time arrives and he's not there. He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don't sh*t all over the floor. He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog poop and says guess it didn't work. He is still wearing his work clothes."
"It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn't change. He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself. We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time. He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people. We settle on a playable game."
"It's not great. As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here had sex with him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly. I tell him that's not going to happen. I tell my friend I'm skipping the festival. He's shocked and thought we had a spark." ~ Polyf**kery
Who's that Girl?
"My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me. My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night. She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date. My mom was very worried I was gay at the time."
"The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she's fun, flirty, cute - and a meth-addicted sex worker who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of. So...YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom sh*t for that one for years." ~ Yvaelle
Blind Dates...
"I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up. I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up. I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later."
"I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl's name. I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet 'you’ll never be able to get away from me.' Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates." ~ Automatic_Doctor4934
When in England...
Waving London GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"When she told me my English accent was dumb, and then repeatedly shouted out that everyone else in the bar had a dumb English accent. FYI, it was a bar in England." ~ notJeffbutGeoff
Yeah, people making fun of you or biting you is an exit strategy to utilize. RUN!!
I'm Done...
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said 'Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her crap.'” ~ cleric3648
I'm Out!
"I was supposed to pick him up at his air bnb so we could go out for dinner and drinks. Turns out the air bnb was actually his parents house. I thought it was weird that he lied about where he was staying but figured he was just embarrassed so I didn’t make a big deal about it. When I suggested a place I wanted to go for dinner he told me his parents made dinner so he wanted to stay there to eat and go out for drinks after."
"I felt super awkward about having dinner with his family on our first date, but it got worse. He made me a plate of food, and had me sit at a table in the garage, and told me he’d be right back. Then he went inside and had dinner with his whole family while I sat alone in the garage. I wish I could say I noped out of there, but unfortunately I stuck it out for the worst date night of my life." ~ squisheekittee
400 times NO!
"When he said he was actually from an entirely different state, looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered. I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times." ~ AlienFemTech
Just Run
"She was a kleptomaniac. Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time. Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork. She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times. Then she asked me to touch her back."
"Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she'd taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict. Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend." ~ DeadlyChaffinch
Chicken Issues
mr bean eating GIFGiphy"When he didn't let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I'm 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me." ~ EstetheAinur
I'm Here!
"He was picking me up and texted me 'here' a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car, but he waited 'til I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger's seat and he said 'hope you're not some crazy liberal! don't mind these mags' and then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy. Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through." ~ lebrunjemz
And where did we go?
"Before our first ever date (which he told me he wanted to plan), I’d told him I had been vegetarian for a few years now and as long as where we went had vegetarian options, I didn’t mind where it was. He brought me to a steakhouse. Said he’d forgotten I’d said that."
"I ended up just having fries the whole night. Points to him, he did seem like he had actually forgotten and the conversation was good so I agreed to a second date. Now, I had also told him I was caffeine intolerant — couldn’t have any coffee, Coke, most teas etc. And where did we go? To the University coffee stand."
"I left to go to my archaeology class and my desk buddy tells me we are getting a new tutor because our first one got sick and couldn’t see the rest of the semester through. Guess who our new tutor was? Mr. Steakhouse and Coffee Stand Guy. I maintain to this day that it was worth it all just for the look on his face when he walked into class. I wish I was making this sh** up." ~ jungkooksboots
'wow you even walk like a guy!'
"When he said 'wow you even walk like a guy!' As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means. He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this 'date,' which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I'm fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me. Please don't take people you don't know on dates using your car.... You'll be stranded with them." ~ redvaporeon-sk
HER!!
caught ugly betty GIF by HULUGiphy"When his phone homescreen and screen saver was of his 'ex girlfriend.'" ~ MamaBearCA
“perfect for him"
"I went to his house to play Magic after meeting him at my LGS a couple times, excused myself to pee and as I was peeing, he stood outside of the bathroom door and did an awful impression of the joker laugh while saying he’s been waiting for someone like me and other extremely creepy phrases about how I am 'perfect for him.'"
"The post peeing bathroom exit was so absolutely awkward. Riddled with me saying several different versions of 'Oh wow, that was a great joker impression haha' and him continuing to speak like the joker. It was the longest, most tense, fearful walk down the stairs. I left shortly after that. It still tortures me." ~ fleshsingularity
"technically"
"Had a great time at dinner, and went for a walk through a park afterwards. We're walking along and talking and she mentions to me that she is still 'technically"'engaged to a guy, but she was only marrying him because he had gotten her pregnant. But she had had a miscarriage a few days ago (had not told him yet), and now that there was no baby and she had met me she was going to tell him and break up with him. There was no second date." ~ techblackops
Cherry on top...
"Drove 50 minutes to her small town to watch a movie, turns out she meant at her place, and it was a sequel to a trilogy I had never started. She was pretty awkward which was fine but then she started REALLY over sharing saying she was a crack baby, and telling me all her trauma."
"That was the point I knew it was a mistake considering she had fibbed her way into the date. By the end of the night she was telling me she loved me. I left shortly after that and I let her down over text once I was home. Cherry on top- she got pregnant three months later from her boyfriend of 5 months." ~ asymptoticharacter
Thief
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"When she told me she wanted to dine and dash, pretty much as soon as we ordered drinks." ~ That_Interview_4005
off the wagon...
"When she told me she recently celebrated 100 days of being sober and then suggested we buy some coke. She told me not to worry about it because she had done it a few times since celebrating those 100 days." ~ gintoclopus
Rants!
"When he went on a long and obnoxious rant about how my job at the time (assistant welder) was 'stupid and a waste of time' and that I should become a dental hygienist, a job I have no interest in, because 'at least it has a future.' The whole date itself was AWFUL. But it was at that point I realized, we were not a 'match' to say the least 🙄." ~ SpaceOctopus94
A quick hello can lead to a quick goodbye. That's ok. Sometimes that is life. Embrace the quick goodbye when necessary.
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