Redditor istrx13 was wondering things families don't talk about...
They asked:
"What is the 'we don’t talk about that' in your family?"
I'm not getting into my family. You'll have to wait for the play.
The 30s...
"My great aunt was a nurse supervisor at a mental hospital back in the 1930s. She fell in love with a patient who was being evaluated to stand trial for murder. She helped him escape and they went to Florida to hide out. But they were eventually found and the guy was put on trial and got the chair. My aunt got off easy, but she moved far away and rarely came home."
p38-lightning
he didn't make it...
"The brother that was born between me and my first sister. It was my mothers second child. Apparently he only lived about 3 days. Neither my mom nor my dad ever wanted to talk about it much. My sisters and I both have seen the birth certificate, which my parents kept."
"We also know there were about 3 years where they waited before my mom became pregnant with my sister afterward. Both of my parents are deceased now and to be frank, I think I only got about a paragraph of conversation about it, ever, from either of my parents. Just a, 'he didn't make it.'"
"It's not creepy or some strange thing, it's just sad. You can tell it affected them both very powerfully, especially to go the rest of their lives and not really share it with current and future children they had. It must have been horrible."
suddenlyreddit
Now that she's dead...
"My mother's cult-induced severe mental illness, which caused her to viciously abuse her two oldest children verbally and physically, and forced my dad to have her committed to a mental hospital several times. Now that she's dead, we still don't talk about her much, lest she "come back from beyond the grave" and continue her lunatic ways..."
LusciousLennyStone
“drama”
"That I have been in contact with my birth family. My older brother and I are both adopted, but he has publicly stated that he has no intention to contact his own birth family, because, he feels that it would be disrespectful to the parents that have raised us, like, why mess with a good thing?"
"So, I’ve never told him that I did it. My husband also didn’t think I should contact them, he was concerned that there would be 'drama.' I keep in touch with some of my birth family mostly online and so far there’s been no drama."
Relevant_Proposal_63
Hey Stud
"That my late uncle was a gigolo. Only my father and I know the truth."
KazumaWillKiryu
rose love GIFGiphyNow being a gigolo has got to be a great story. Tell us more...
"always is right"
"My 'always right' aunty got proven wrong for once and rather than just accept it, she ghosted the whole family except for her immediate. Sometimes I talk to my cousins and always ask how wrong Wendi is doing?"
-AntiVegan-
Iliza Shlesinger Ghost GIF by IlizaGiphy"silver fox"
"How my uncle, whom is a single, 'silver fox' (so my grandma calls him), multimillionaire, executive of one of the big 3 car companies is secretly gay. We ALL know except grandma, that's why we don't talk about it. He also has no idea that the whole family knows."
laurmichele
All the Feels
"Sex, love, anorexia, emotions in general."
Constant-Memory-1069
"Mate, literally same. My parents are the most emotionally unavailable people I have ever met. It's not really their fault bc my entire family is cooked mental health wise, but damn."
"I'm convinced it was a huge contributing factor to my anorexia diagnosis. Lots of emotional turmoil but I wasn't taught how to talk about emotions, wasn't even really exposed to emotions, and no one to talk with about them anyway. Only way I could signal to the outside world I was not OK was starving myself, I guess. I'm ok now. Hope you are also ok."
Soggy_Biscuit_
Crazy Woman
"My cousin who is absolutely crazy. Got an abortion because she hated the guy, got married to him a few months later and started a family (they have 3 kids who are demons)… they moved out of state but she started coming back home once every few months to drop off the kids at her parents and then go on a bender and basically live in a motel for a few days."
"Then the divorce came, she married one of the guys she was banging on the side, got divorced again after cheating on him with husband number 1… now she’s dating her drug dealer. Again she still has custody of her 3 kids."
Old-Air1062
Whoops...
"I was a complete accident. They found out at the wedding and I’m pretty sure my Christian grandparents weren’t happy. They’ve only talked about it a few times."
AHorrorFreak
Pray I Hope GIFGiphyOh my Granny...
"My grandmother had a secret divorce 3 years before my mother was born and a year before she married my grandfather. She never told anyone about it, we are even unsure whether my grandfather knows, but my mother only found out after doing family research and finding her maiden name on a divorce court document. The files are still sealed as well so unless we apply for access we won't know why the divorce occurred. And no, we have never once bought this up to my grandmother."
DryIntern1
32 Now
"My dad's horrible rage. He has huge blow ups, and the next day acts like nothing ever happened, a trait he passed down to two of my sisters. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And I am 32 now. That, and my parent's addiction to gambling that kept us below the poverty line my entire childhood, despite them both making good money."
"I can literally remember days after my mom would get paid, asking if we could get some groceries, and her having no money at all. I always just thought we were super poor when we were younger, but when I was in high school, and started making my own money, I caught onto it."
SprinklesRevenge
“Baby I can’t help you.”
"How I was forced to marry my second cousin at 16, and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore when I was 23. I called my Mother begging her please let me come home he is gonna kill me, actively beating me as we are on the phone, all she could say was 'Baby I can’t help you.' Then she hung up on me. Thankfully I made it out alive, nearly a decade later living a completely different life as a new wife and Mother."
Its_Mayor_Lilith
extensions...
"Me and my adoption. I’m not considered a part of the family because I’m adopted. My dad accepts me, But not my extended family and definitely not my siblings."
elanrach
family GIFGiphywe don't talk about that...
"My mom consistently refused to come with me to therapy to talk through our past together. Dad died when I was 7, she got too comfy with a bottle and turned abusive and neglectful. She wants a happy family now that she's remarried. I'm left physically disabled, with CPTSD."
"Our constant tension was so distressing that it lead to my health declining to a dangerous point multiple times. I cut off contact 2 years ago. She pretends like i never existed now, same way she did with my dad. So, the 'we don't talk about that' is...me."
berripluscream
Scrubs
"When my grandmother was in her 30s she tried scrubbing off a tattoo of her ex with Drano and iron wool. The only reason she stopped was because my aunt called the cops and she passed out from the pain. If you're wondering, no the tattoo isn't there anymore. She died 6 years ago."
crypt00l
"this night is over"
"My autistic uncle once let loose after a few drinks that he killed someone once with a gun. We all laughed. I saw his father's face go white. Then others did as well. Finally everyone did. He said 'this night is over' and we haven't talked about it since."
SubwayMan5638
Struggles
"Doing good. Changing your life to not struggle and live in poverty. I made changes to better myself and since been excluded."
bearded_chubbyman
barack obama challenges GIF by ObamaGiphyGoodbye
"My dad went kinda crazy when I was a teenager. Cheated on my mom, beat the crap out of me, drank constantly. This lasted for about a year. By the time that I was grown and out on my own, it had stopped. He was back to the dad I knew as a little kid. Better even. We don’t talk about it. He passed away in January. Despite all of what he did then, he was the best man I’ve ever known."
saintjimmy6661
Some secrets are meant to stay in the family and meant to go to the grave.
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My family has a history that includes the mafia, the FBI, murder in an asylum, alcohol, drugs... the list is endless. And I'd rather just watch Days of Our Lives.
Family Issues
Stephen Colbert Love GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy"My mother told me that my dad, wasn't my real dad, drunk one night when I was 16. That was 31 years ago. To this day his side of the family still thinks I'm his."
- Traiz3r
Show me the $$$
"One of my uncles borrowed $20,000 from my other more successful Uncle to start a business and refuses to pay his more successful brother back because he's "got so much money already". The more successful uncle refuses to sue him because that's not what family does, but they are no longer on speaking terms."
- mikenyle
Mum is crazy...
"My great-grandmother helped cover up a murder. Claimed the guy was a psychopath and attacked her daughter and granddaughter for no reason. In actuality, my mum was going through a phase where she would try to get men turned on by rubbing her arse on them. This guy pushed her off and told her to screw off."
"My mum took offence to this and claimed the guy was trying to take her clothes off. My grandmother, who was on all the drugs, came out of her room and stabbed the guy to death to protect her daughter. My mum told the truth after the guy was dead and they came up with a cover up story so that they wouldn't get in trouble."
We were on a BREAK!!!
"My grandpa and grandma broke up for a few weeks in August 1962. In that one week my grandpa got drunk one night and got the woman living across the hall from my grandma pregnant, and my grandma had a fling with a married man while on the late shift as a bartender and got pregnant herself. My grandparents got married and my grandma passed my aunt barb off as my grandpas child."
"The other woman gave my aunt Joyce up for adoption. Both were born exactly a week apart. 30 years later my mom was getting married and visited my Grandmas sister to hand out wedding invitations. My Grandmas sister decided that was the perfect occasion to tell my mother out of nowhere that my Aunt Barb was not my grandpas biological daughter. My mom was shocked and confronted my Grandma after the visit and who denied it."
"My mom then decided stupidly to keep it secret. It was kept a secret from my Aunt Barb for 40 years until my aunt Joyce found my grandpa and looked exactly like him. That is when my aunt Barb had a DNA test done and confirmed she wasn't his daughter. It took my aunt barb 17 years to find her real fathers family and she finally found them last year. They all accepted her into the family."
WTF
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"My Dad lives in his car and is only given enough money for basic food and is only allowed in the house to clean it. He's more of a household servant than anything."
- Catctus
Yeah, that is a whole lotta mess. That's why sometimes you just have to change your name, or fake your death. These people are crazy.
Captor
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"I have done extensive genealogical research and found that my maternal family enslaved over 700 human beings."
Dirty Grandpa...
"My grandad had sex with everyone of my grandma's 5 sisters, over about 40 years, 3 he had long term affairs with. It all came out at my grandma's 60th birthday party when everyone had too much to drink. Fun times, trying to get between several old women, trying to prevent them from punching one another."
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Most Wanted
"While cleaning out a relative's house after his funeral, we discovered that the family member was virtually on a first name basis with every major law enforcement department (city, state and federal) within a 100 mile radius. Among other things, he had consulted on FBI cases."
"He wore his disdain for all politicians openly. So, imagine our surprise to discover that he'd been invited to almost every Presidential inauguration within the last forty'ish years. I never had any illusions that I ever truly knew this family member. But if I had, they would've gone away after discovering all that stuff."
Boxed In
"My great grandfather would lock my uncle in one of those big metal toolboxes you sometimes see in the back of trucks for hours as a form of punishment when he was a kid. I can't even imagine how hot it must have been being locked up outside in one of those during the summer. He must have been terrified. I see now why my uncle's a drug addict with a crap ton of mental health issues. And that's not even the worst thing my great grandfather did but that's not my story to tell."
Smh GIFNo Memory
"Apparently when I was a kid to get me to calm down my dad took me to the bathroom and told me to shut up and quiet down or he was gonna start burning me with a lighter he had in his hand. My sister told me she saw it when she was a kid. I personally have no memory of it. I guess other stuff happened too that I'm not aware of since I was so young. Idk what to think since my dad now like a more normal guy."
He had it Coming...
"My great grandfather was a nasty, abusive man, and possibly schizophrenic. My great grandmother finally shot him dead, in self defense. Great grandma was a strong, strong woman to endure what she did. Our family didn't find out until many years had passed, because the elders just didn't talk about it. We think that there are still undiscovered skeletons on that side, too, but too much time has passed to figure out the details."
Dear Lord...
"My father had been married during WWII while he was in the Navy, before he married my mother. I was told that his wife and infant son were both killed in a car crash. I only recently found out what really happened: while he was at sea, she sent him a "Dear John" letter, asking for a divorce. It seems she had found another man. My father was distraught but did not know what else to do, so he signed the divorce papers she sent to him."
"Once the divorce was filed, the other guy decided he did not want anything to do with her. So she killed their baby and committed suicide. Oh, also she was living with my father's sister and brother-in-law back home in Indiana while he was in the Pacific."
"Wait, I have another one! A first cousin of mine, also dad's side of the family, was adopted when he was maybe 2 years old. I always knew this, so did he. What I did not know (and dk if he knew) was that he was adopted from another of my father's brothers who had repeatedly abused him. So his last name was not an adopted name, he was born with that name."
- codece
My Dad, the Hero
"My grandfather was a classic psycho/sociopath who abused and manipulated my grandmother and his children while maintaining a reputation as a highly intelligent, extremely charming gentleman. My father as the eldest son was his primary target of abuse including things like showing up at his school, drag him out of class while beating him and making him walk barefoot on asphalt all the way home in front of his car on a day where you could literally fry an egg on the surface."
"Once he was home he was forced to dig up the huge garden every day from sunrise to sunset without food or water for a whole month. My dad was 7 years old at the time. And he chased my dad all the way to the border to Afghanistan when my dad finally ran away and hitchhiked to Europe as a teen. I love my wonderful kind and softhearted father because he was able to break the cycle of violence. He has never once in my 40 years raised his hands on any of his children or been anything other than the most supportive dad you could imagine."
"Once he got his life sorted he went back to Pakistan with my mother and got his younger siblings educated, married and set them up for life. He was never able to get an education (grandfather refused to pay his fees) but 3 of his 5 siblings are successful doctors and 1 is a geologist."
"Only his elder sister never got an education, but my dad got her out of an abusive marriage and supported her in building a good life for herself. And he was the shield that protected them for as long as my lunatic grandfather was alive. So yes my grandfather was messed up and most of the stories of his horrific abuse remain untold but it made my dad the heroic backbone of a successful family, and that is the real story to tell."
Accidents
Viola Davis Smh GIF by HULUGiphy"My parents told me about some distant relatives who were playing around with a loaded gun and one accidentally shot himself in the head."
Oh Girl...
"My heroin addicted cousin stole so much money from my grandparents that they legitimately struggled during retirement. My grandfather was a teacher so they didn't have too much to begin with. This cousin is also my godmother but I no longer want to associate with her at all. Also her husband is a white supremacist."
"the backwoods"
"My mother, who is from "the backwoods" of Maine, told me one of her cousins turned out to be a hermaphrodite. When "she" hit puberty, her voice changed and she grew facial hair but no breasts. She was taken to a doctor where they figured out she had internal testicles. I don't remember what the outcome was. This was in the early 50's."
So much tea...
Jon Stewart Popcorn GIFGiphy"Great uncle was a multi millionaire but also a Nazi sympathiser (straight up Nazi is probably more accurate), his brother (my grandpa) worked for the mob."
Adversaries...
"My great Grandfather was a pilot in the Luftwaffe in WWII and took part in the bombing of England. The funny part is my other Great Grandfather flew for the RAF at the same time so there is a good chance that they had tried to shoot each other down at some point in time. They met later in life when they both moved to Australia, apparently they had one conversation about it and agreed to never talk about it ever again, and apparently became really good friends before they died."
Lord DNA can be messy. And now I want to know even less of my family's past. I'm going to cancel my Ancestry DNA package. Let's be strangers.
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