Even in our progressive society, there are still far too many people with antiquated, mostly ludicrous, opinions of what it is to be a woman.
These are primarily from men in powerful positions.
However, some women also tend to look down on those who believe they are giving their gender a bad name.
This ignorant behavior is most commonly known as "toxic femininity".
"What are examples of toxic femininity?"
Caring About Your Image More Than Other People
"Girls who only support other girls when it’s convenient for their image."- flowerchild_3
Worry About Your Own Children, Not Other Moms
"Moms bullying other moms."- LollipopDreamscape
Men Are Parents Too...
"Dad of a 5 year old girl here."
"When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session."
"I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break."
"The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there's quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5."
"However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I'm the only man there and everyone stares at me."
"I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter."
"Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath."
"At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it.'
'I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register."
'Yes."
"THAT register.'
"All because I happened to be the only dad there.'
"I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left."
'I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers."
"Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you'd think she just breathed fire."
"Play group mums can be sexist as hell."- LostMercenary99
Never Pass Judgement Without Knowing The Details
"Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed."- Sufficient-Voice-210
"My wife could not produce enough milk for our children."
"When our first was born she tried and tried."
"I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying."
"She felt like she was a horrible mom to even bring up formula."
"There is so much pressure on moms, and it is incredibly stupid."
"Our kids are very well adjusted and were on formula the entire time.'
"I tell anyone who is expecting their first that the only 'right' way is the 'right way for that child'.”
"Damn everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family; not the mommy bloggers."
"My oldest is 10 years old and my wife is at peace with it; she worked through her guilt, which I totally agree she should not have any guilt: she is an excellent mother."
"The statistics on breastfed vs. bottle fed have other correlations which I don’t want to take the time to defend, anyone can read the studies, but adding other factors like home life and atomic households, the delta between the two are not as big as the breastfeeding fanatics point out."
"Lastly, anecdotally and take this as a a claim from a dad.'
"My kids are healthy and hyper-intelligent."
"My oldest has been consistently tested through school as top 2% composite intelligence, and she is thriving in advanced classes."
"I say this because there are people who say that IQ is impacted by breastfeeding."
"It just isn’t true, my children thrive, they are healthy and they know they are loved."- Lokitusaborg
If You Can't Take The Heat...
"Being verbally abusive and then playing victim the second the other person argues back or raises their voice."- No-Bumblebee4615
A "Real Woman" Would Probably Never Say This...
"Pulling the 'if you're a real man' card whenever they need something."- Reddit
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love."- DontShowMomMemes
No Man Is Worth The Trouble
"Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc."- KekeSmall
Happily Ever After Has Many Different Meanings
"That single women should be sad."- hallelujasuzanne
Being Self-Serving Ultimately Serves No One
"Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them."- SnooCakes653
Just because someone, no matter their gender, lives their life differently than you do doesn't mean they are deserving of your judgment.
Especially if they are happy with the life they are living, and aren't bringing harm to anyone else.
Anyone believing others aren't fitting their expectations of what it is to be a "real woman" or a "real man" might want to stop and re-examine their standards.
Expectations can be a dangerous thing.
It's very easy to be excited for an upcoming movie or TV show, an item of clothing you've been dying to own, or a vacation we've been saving years for.
But sometimes, when reality sets in, whatever it was we were so eagerly looking forward to doesn't always turn out to be everything we'd hoped it would be.
Redditor Tarps-celom was curious what fellow Redditors had sky-high expectations for, only to find themselves let down, and asked:
"What were you really hyped for but completely flopped?"
Is being a grown up all that it's cracked up to be?
"Being an adult."- marr318
"Running my own business."- LB_P
"Having a career, our whole life built up to this..and its just mediocre, and NOBODY knows what they are really doing."- SnooPandas1674.
Dungeons And Dragons Twitch GIF by Hyper RPGGiphyFor all the advancements in technology...
"Power Glove."
"It sucked and I'll never forget it."- Ekh0es.
"Google +"
"They made us to wait for a very long time with invite only feature."
'Ppl forgot about it when it was released."- introvertboyme.
Not worth the price of admission.
"'Dark Tower' movie."- urchisilver.
"M.Night's 'Avatar' movie."
"He broke my heart."- Suspicious-Elk-3631.
Stan Wawrinka Thumbs Down GIF by Miami OpenGiphySo much better the first time.
"Sim city 5.'
"Good God what a horrid mess."
"First week or more of release you were lucky to play because you could only play it online on their servers that were constantly full."
"Then once you hit like 50k people in your city the game was uncontrollable."
"You would literally run out of water and no matter what you did traffic took the shortest path so constant traffic and thus emergency vehicles couldn't move so everything went to hell fast."- InsertBluescreenHere
"Second go round of 'Arrested Development'."
"Deep inside I knew they’d never be able to capture that magic."
"Still, told myself they could."
"Narrator: They couldn’t."- PollyWentlightly
"Should old acquaintance be forgot..."
"Every New Year’s Eve party ever."- PollyWentlightly
Sad New Year GIFGiphyWhen expectations are high, being disappointed is almost inevitable.
Then too, it's entirely possible that our disappointment didn't stem one bit from our sky-high expectations, but simply the fact that what we were so looking forward to turned out to be just plain awful.
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It sure would be nice to see bullies–especially rich ones–face consequences for their actions. There is such a crisis of accountability right now that many people appear to have accepted that certain members of society will never face justice.
That's something that society should never be on board with and we should normalize rooting bad behavior out. It's easier said than done, but it's one of many things that the majority of people would need to be on the same page about if society ever hopes to move forward.
There are many things we can do to make society a much better place for everyone. People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Cutelittlebunbun01 asked the online community,
"What is a thing that we should normalize?"
"Not having..."
"Not having an opinion about everything."
Justforet
Social media has ruined this for everyone, hasn't it?
"I never find it awkward."
"Being silent when you have nothing to say. I never find it awkward, but I feel like some people do and they force themselves to make small talk. It's not necessary."
hipsterfuel
Business tip, use this to your advantage. People get uncomfortable with dead air, and will often fill it with things they were either holding back or did not intend to say.
"Doing 'social' things..."
"Doing "social" things on your own if you feel like it, like going to the movies or go out dancing."
ipakoopapi
Welcome to most of my youth and young adulthood. I still love getting out by myself.
"People only have so much energy..."
"Being OK with someone not being enthusiastic about your cause. People only have so much energy to put toward all the troubles in the world. Just because someone does not channel their energy toward your issues does not make them a bad person."
CaspersShadow
And just because they don’t show that enthusiasm online or to you doesn’t mean they’re not doing it!
"Changing your opinion..."
"Changing your opinion on a topic when someone shows you new information. It doesn’t mean you “lost” the argument, it means you’re wise enough to see the error of your ways and move on."
[deleted]
A growth mindset? You don't say!
"Helping..."
"Helping without expecting anything back."
[deleted]
I think we should add to this. How about helping without announcing it on social media?
"Men seeking..."
"Men seeking mental health care and not being mocked for it."
Caqumba
Access to mental healthcare needs to improve too. A lot of systems talk about 'parity of esteem' but only give it lip service.
"Men seeking help for being abused in relationships. It's horrifying to see my brother go through this and nobody believed him but me."
danforth
Sorry about your brother. It's good you were there for him!
"Asking how people are feeling with the intention to really listen."
_kionadreesmannx
This is a big one. It's so important. You'll keep a lot more friends around if you demonstrate you're a good listener.
"Having hard conversations..."
"Handling hard conversations instead of letting the problems fester and turn into bigger problems."
ResidentRepulsive
Communication is key and people who push back against it are not worth your time.
There are many things that we could add to this, don't you agree? The list is endless. Society isn't perfect, but we could always do more to better it little by little, day by day.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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Looking back on the year, 2021 was not that much of a departure from the mess that was 2020.
Did we think we would still be here at this time last year? Maybe, maybe not.
But as the new year looms, Redditor ibm322 challenged our predictions and asked:
"What is something you are pretty sure is going to happen in 2022?"
Personal goals are explored.
Where There's A Will...
"I'm losing 75 lbs. Its gonna happen, I'm taking my life back."
"EDIT: As a guy who has struggled with weight all their life. Struggled and battled an eating disorder for 11 years. Thank you all for the support and messages. Much love."
– Kaiguy123
Better Health
"I will beat stage IV cancer -.* knocks on wood *"
– lookingforinfo897
Role Reversal
"I won't have to listen to whatever the f'k my upstairs neighbor is doing 24/7 because I'm moving and then I'LL be the upstairs neighbor doing weird sh*t 24/7."
– space_moron
Fighting For Mom
"My mom being cancer free."
"Been on Chemo for 7-8 weeks. Has another 8 weeks, then surgery, then radiation."
"Tumor had already shrunk by 50% or so. Outlook is very good."
"F'k Cancer."
– NotJackDorsey
Predictions or déjà vu? You decide.
A Familiar Pattern
"Disney will announce another remake of a classic movie which will ultimately be far worse then the original."
– bradbrazer
Heated Momentum
"Politics in the US will start ramping up in the summer since it is an election year."
– rich4pres
Movie Plot
"Kim jong un is gonna die and come back to life AGAIN."
– jumpedoffaplane
Streaming Is Not Forever
"Netflix will cancel a series too soon."
– PinkSweetGhost
"Still pissed about the cancellation of 'I'm not okay with this.'"
– Zombie-Redshirt
"Still get a bit of heartbreak when I see an actor from GLOW show up in something else."
"'Promising Young Woman' was especially rough in this respect,"
– sniper91
Clues from the past can dictate the future.
Still Awake
"Someone will post a Why Are You Still Up question here."
– Polite_Scoundrel
Numerology Game
"22/2/22 22:22:22 will occur."
– chef_jeff_likes_yeet
"Ah yes, Twosday."
– SuddenVelocity
What's The Name Of The Game?
"we’re learning the rest of the greek alphabet."
– xpgx
"If you lived in Florida in the past during hurricane season you already got a beginners course in the Greek alphabet."
– BlueJeanMistress
"They’ll start naming COVID-19 variants with people’s names."
“Annie is hospitalizing thousands and killing 2,000 a day in the south.”
– SnarkLobster
Incomplete Saga
"After a grueling twelve months of hard work, George R. R. Martin will type up another three pages of Winds of Winter."
– NowAcceptingBitcoin
Place your bets, everyone. 2022 is already looking to be a bumpy ride.
While patterns and trends are bound to repeat themselves, I'm optimistic that positive changes are brewing on the horizon.
Because if we don't have hope for brighter futures, what's the point of all of this, amirite?
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People Break Down The Most F**ked Up Things Society Totally Accepted 20 Years Ago
The world has changed significantly in the last twenty years. Back in the day, you could just step out of the house and be gone all day and no one could contact you unless they were back home or used a payphone.
Nowadays, people expect us to be connected all the time, which is super frustrating in its own way. But it's hard to imagine the world as it was before, right? And it's pretty wild that we just accepted it for so long, that is until technology advanced enough!
Society has changed... for better or worse. People shared their observations after Redditor Silkhide asked the online community,
"What was the most f**ked up thing that was generally accepted twenty years ago?"
"I was knocked out cold..."
"No care or concern for concussions in sports. I was knocked out cold for two minutes on the football field, nobody told me, and when I came to we just resumed the game like nothing had happened."
"I didn’t even know I was out for those two minutes until a year later when people were telling football stories. I thought I had just gotten knocked down and got back up right away. I thought it was weird everyone was making such a big deal about it."
"My first ever depressive episode started almost immediately after that game."
ElbowStrike
Thankfully, knowledge about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) is much more widespread.
"That Oxycontin..."
"That Oxycontin wasn’t habit forming and it was a miracle drug."
jm6398
Required reading: Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty, in case you want to feel even more enraged about the ongoing opioid crisis.
"My high school..."
"My high school had an area that we were allowed to smoke. A designated smoking area for kids under 18."
Blitz-99
Ha! That would absolutely be met with shock and horror these days.
"Being at home..."
"Being at home at your TV at a certain time to catch a show, and expecting everyone to leave you alone so you could watch it with no interruptions."
"You could be out with friends and you'd look and say, "Oh, it's 7:30 I got to get home to catch my show!" And nobody looked at you like a strange social outcast."
prelegalalien
Ah, those were the days. The way we had to plan for all of these things, actually plan! Remember TVGuide?
"People dying..."
"People dying of Chronic Myloid Leukemia. 20 years ago it was 100% fatal in less than five years. Now it's treated with a once a day pill with no side effects for most people... miracle science right there."
Mandorrisem
Modern medicine is indeed amazing–and changes lives!
"Female celebrities..."
"Female celebrities and actresses with eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. It's less prevalent now, but dang was it brutal back then."
spicedshrub
These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...Karen Carpenter, anyone?
Talk about an emotionally devastating story.
"There's still a lot of trouble..."
"25 years ago, I had a gym teacher who did not think asthma was a thing and wouldn't let me have my inhaler at hand in class. I walked every mile because I didn't want to die."
"There's still a lot of trouble for the undiagnosed, but tons of physical and mental health issues that were downplayed or outright ignored at least have some kind of support system or protocol now. It's not perfect, but at least we know they're real and are starting to do something."
Pookajuice
A teacher who would have the nerve to mock a student for their disability or health problems today is in for a real wake-up call.
"Nobody said anything..."
"In middle school a student dressed up like an SS Nazi for halloween. Nobody said anything until my choir teacher told him that some people may find it offensive. Teacher was Jewish."
ExplicitTech
Yeah... that sounds like something that would warrant an immediate expulsion.
"I worked in restaurants back then..."
"Sexual harassment in the workplace. It was just starting to become a topic of conversation around the early 2000s but very little progress had been made."
"I worked in restaurants back then and the amount of harassment I and my other female coworkers endured was unreal by today’s standards. We all just learned to laugh it off because no one took it seriously."
dsw1219
Grateful to see the culture change for the better where this is concerned, though there is still so much work to be done.
"People would go to carnivals..."
"People would go in carnivals and shove their face in the same water barrel to grab an apple with their mouth. Completely bonkers in 2021."
iaml3roux
If COVID-19 had a Facebook, it would love, love, LOVE this.
For any of you reading... 2001 was 20 years ago. Take some pills for your back. It might hurt.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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