Any small act of kindess can save the world.
And we need them now more than ever.
Redditor No-Fig-8614 wanted to share about what minor actions have great power. They asked:
"What small gestures impact your life the most?"
Everytime I've cried in public, people have lent a hand. Made me smile and move forward.
Accomplishments
Russian Sport GIF by OlympicsGiphy"Friends who honestly recognize your hard work achievements."
el_buzzsaw
Kindergarten
"When someone remembers little details about me."
spicegrl17
"Bro this guy was in the same kindergarten class as me. We were friendly but as we grew up we kinda drifted. Like middle and high school I don't even remember talking to this guy. He sorta became popular and I was just vibing in middle class territory."
"One time we sat at the same table in a class in 8th grade and again in 12th. And each time he would bring up some super random memory of us from kindergarten that even I don't remember. and when I tell you that sh*t would have the biggest impact on me. Like we were still always friendly and would smile in the halls, but even typing this now makes me smile. Never expected him to remember such random little things."
Careful_Pickle555
Connection
"When strangers are kind to me for no reason it gives me hope for humanity."
Crafty-Tangerine-491
"When I lived in a new city as a broke masters student, I would pick the cashiers that I knew would chitchat with me just to get some human interaction. Not easy in England it turns out. Now I’m on the other side of this situation and I try to read when someone might need that kind of interaction."
Ndeipi
Praise You!
"When people openly praise me/others or they are comfortable communicating their positive feelings. There are a few notable people in my life who are like this and every time i'm around them I either blush or get a loss for words for how much their words/actions matter."
"I think it's because I'm used to criticism or not really being noticed and when they say kind words or are considerate my brain melts. I notice people like this usually have a quiet pulse or sense of others confidence levels/ anxiety levels and they are naturally nurturing or comfortable with building others up."
g0ldf1nch_
Genuine
Dog Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Hearing from others that positive things have been said about me when I wasn’t around. Makes me feel like they’re really genuine."
neuro_illogical
I love all of those. It would make me feel warm and fuzzy.
Even if it's small...
"Being polite and using basic manners."
withurwife
"As a teenage retail worker, it's sooo nice when people say can I pay for this please. Or just something nice. Or treat me like a normal human being and have an actual conversation with me. Even if it's small. It helps me get through the day and deal with the crappy customers that act like I'm they're slave."
tomahawk167
Look Up
"Making eye contact with someone and realizing you both have the same reaction to whatever the hell is happening in front of you."
NormalVermicelli1066
"This is awesome. It's like a universal language when something crazy is happening and you catch the eye of the person next to you and she widens her eyes slightly. It's like I'm not alone in my head."
flowergirl0720
Time
"My social skills are practically nonexistent thus holding a conversation with someone is impossible. I stutter and my accent comes out. I just started working a week ago and have had to introduce myself to the staff. Afterwards, people came up to me to start a conversation yet left after they realized I wasn’t really speaking."
"I understand why, but I still feel guilty and sad as I don’t want to be alone. Therefore, it is a blessing when someone still keeps trying. I swear I slowly start opening up, I just need time. Most people aren’t willing to spend that time though."
No-Anything-0
Join Us
Season 4 Group GIF by FriendsGiphy"Being included."
sturglemeister
"This 100%, being included makes all the difference. Even if you don't know the friend group, just being asked makes a massive difference."
No-Fig-8614
So Pretty
"When my neighbor called me handsome. Too bad her grand daughter doesn’t agree."
Foolishincel
"Oh man, same thing like that happened to me. In a restaurant, the waitress said I was handsome and walked away. Another waitress went up to her and said, You think he is handsome? Oh well each her own."
thomas4004
Be Calm
"I didn't have my wallet at the gas station and started to panic and the guy said no problem, you are good."
Rotterddoom
Thanks
"Letting in cars in traffic and getting a wave of acknowledgement and thanks."
northjersey78
"Getting a wave back after you wave is always my favorite. I kinda lightly scorn the people who don't wave back. Only slightly because we are driving death machines."
teenytiny77
Booster
Youre Cute Emma Stone GIF by ZombielandGiphy"When random old ladies call me cutesie names like 'hun' or 'sweetie.' It's like getting a grandma love booster shot from a stranger."
SchrodingersNutsack
"I can play this card now and it works as well both ways. I try to be as patient, kind and encouraging as I can. It's good to hear it's appreciated."
holdonwhileipoop
Different
"Friends who hold different beliefs and opinions who stick by you despite the differences. Everyone needs to have friends around them who will challenge their beliefs."
RolyPoly1320
"Honestly this is so rare these days, I remember in my high school days there was this one kid who listened to dead mouse, and he was a respectable guy, so everyone respected him for being different."
Fresh_Proposal2938
So Happy
U Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy"As a male, getting compliments from the opposite sex. It’s just a really good feeling and can make a guy happy for along time. We receive so few that each one feels special. And this actually goes for relationships too. My last gf never really complimented me and it kind of bothered me. But when she did they meant a lot because they actually seemed more genuine."
saosin702
all by kids...
"Little kids being friendly to me at work. I’m a host at a pretty busy chain restaurant and have been hugged randomly by kids, been told i’m pretty, had my hair complimented, my makeup and jewelry complimented, my boots. all by kids. it just flatters me so much, especially knowing that most small children just say what they’re thinking in all honesty. Makes work a little more bearable."
disco-paradox
Compliments
Ufc 205 Thank You GIF by UFCGiphy"People who notice. For instance: The driver in front who pulls forward and a bit over so I can make a right turn at the red light. People who pick up trash. People who compliment you. You all just makes the world a bit nicer."
momofdragons3
Defending Me
"People defending me when I'm fat shamed. It seems like a little thing, but it means a lot. The suckiest bit about starting at 375 is that it'll take me two years to safely lose what I need to and with that said, people don't see progress and often doubt me, especially if I take a step backwards. So when people defend me, it makes me feel so much better about what I'm doing."
1BoiledCabbage
It takes so little to make others feel good. Just do it.
In this day and age, with the state of the world what it is... it's a miracle people aren't sobbing at every gas pump, cash register and red light.
Tears are healthy.
Unless they're being used for manipulation or a tantrum.
We release emotion with our tears.
And one of the most emotional places to be is at work.
That can be a sobfest.
So what is the best way to help in that situation?
Let's compare notes and tissue brands.
Redditortiredoflandwanted to hear about the times they had to deal with emotions at work.
They asked:
"How do you handle people crying at work?"
I have cried many a time over the years. Especially when waiting tables. A hug always helped.
Condolences
six feet under GIF by HBOGiphy"As a funeral director, I tend to just touch them on their arm and hand them tissues. And stay quiet."
Oct92018
Cry on Me
"I usually provide a tissue. I often get hugged. My last job, we had a meeting and one of the people in the meeting, well, she seemed off. Everyone filed out and I kind of lingered, asked, 'Hey, is there something wrong you want to talk about?' Boom, waterworks, she had to put her cat down this morning, etc. I am the guy in the office people cry on, I guess."
Nadaesque
to a science...
"I'm a teacher, so it's a near daily occurrence for me. I have a jar full of candy - usually chocolate- on my desk (the kids call it sad candy), a chair, and a big round plush bird toy just the right size for hugging. His name is Sherbert, cause he's colored like rainbow sherbet. They can talk it out with me or just cry in silence if they'd rather, but I just sit with them until they're ready to re-join the world. It's sad, but I have this crap down to a science."
ThePhiff
The Stress of It All
"I work for a 911 center, you better believe there is crying. Especially when an employee is new and they give CPR to an infant and its not a positive turnout, someone kills themself while you are talking to them on the phone. Pretty soon your heart and soul die and you can deal with it, but something especially awful happens and it hits you. I have been doing it for 28 years and have seen plenty people come and go, who couldn't handle the stress?"
One-Butterscotch-786
Fur Babies
"In the veterinary industry, unfortunately, if you notice a co-worker is or has been crying, usually you pretend not to have noticed, maybe ask them nonchalantly if they can do something for you that isn't client-facing for a while like fill prescriptions, and don't bring it up later unless you're friends outside of work."
"Everybody cries at work at some point, and it's not even usually about a sick/dying animal. If a client is crying though, you have to be sensitive, empathetic, comforting, gentle, offer them privacy and condolences without smothering them."
"Clients cry for the reasons you expect, and of course it's hard to see them through it, because dealing with a sick or dying pet is hard. Staff will often shed a tear in these appointments too, but most often when a co-worker is crying it's because another person went out of their way to hurt them. Be kind to your veterinary staff folks, we feel pain too."
sainttawny
People do seem to cry a lot. Makes sense, I do.
I'm Here
Tell Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"'Is there anything I can do?' Then just listen. Often the listening is enough."
Pavlock
Kindness
"I work in healthcare, so this happens quite frequently. Usually it’s patients. Most often, people just want their feelings validated and that someone understands them. That’s all. Being empathetic goes a long way."
moscowmulesplz
"Yes! Empathy truly goes a long way!"
ElBarbon026
Alone
"Saw a chick crying at work, sitting outside. Half wanted to ask her if she was ok but when someone is crying hard sometimes they just want to be left alone in their feelings and it must be embarrassing enough to cry at work, so I left her alone and kept walking."
KiwiCatPNW
He is Awful
"Many years ago I (male) was having an extended discussion with a female coworker about something technical and I noticed that she would periodically start crying during our talk. I was so dense that I thought (perhaps out of intended politeness) that I should just ignore this and go on."
"For some reason I have often thought about this and reflected on the fact that it would have been much more humane to at least ask her if she was OK, if she would prefer to talk later, if she would like to talk instead about what was upsetting."
"Later I heard from someone else that she had travelled to the area from another state with her boyfriend. He had a job at another company nearby that was expanding rapidly and she had received the news that he was already cheating on her with multiple coworkers."
fund0us
I'm Blind
"I follow the golden rule so I ignore them, pretend not to see them, and later talk to them normally like nothing happened, because that is what I want in their position."
xyanon36
"Same! I tend to get more upset if someone checks on me, because now I'm embarrassed and feel exposed on top of what's causing me to cry in the first place. Since I never want to be the cause of that, I won't ever approach someone in that state."
Annonymous_97
There is no perfect way to comfort somebody. You just do it. Or apparently... look away.
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People Divulge The Things They Underestimated Until They Happened To Them
They say experience is one of the greatest teachers there is and these Reddit users would agree.
It's not always pleasant, but these are lessons these users won't forget.
Reddit was asked:
"What is one thing you underestimated the severity of until it happened to you?"
We're going to talk about those things you see others go through and scoff, wondering why they're being so dramatic about it. We're talking about the things we see on TV and it's resolved in an hour.
We're talking about why it's called "heartbreak."
There is a lot of ugly ahead, we will touch on racism, childhood abuse, trauma, disease, and the very real ways life changes in an instant.
It may not be a comfortable read.
Grief Hits Different
"The grief of losing a parent."
"I lost my dad in August and yesterday at the cinema watching Spiderman: No Way Home I burst into tears 3 times because I realized I couldn't remember what my dads voice sounded like anymore."
- Owlface616
"I inherited my Mom's love of music. The two acts she loved the most were The Eagles and Vince Gill."
"She'd only been gone a year or two when I heard Vince was joining The Eagles. I was so excited I picked up the phone to tell her about it and started to dial her number before I remembered she was gone."
"I broke down crying at work right then."
- rhett342
"I read something similar years ago. It prompted me to save voicemails to the cloud."
"My mother in law passed suddenly in August. I told my husband the voicemail is there whenever he is ready to listen."
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
- iamsuperkathy
Changes Everything
"Car crash. Specifically a head on collision."
"It changed my life."
"I dream of it. I get shivers on the road randomly, when a light post or a guard rail reminds me of what it felt like to be flung into it going 60mph. I think about how I should have died, and why I didn’t."
"I think about it all the time, and it happened almost 8 years ago now. I've been to therapy, but nothing will erase the memory or the way it changed me."
- Maleficent-Tie-4185
"For me it's the emotional trauma that you're left with."
"In the moment there's shock and chaos so it doesn't really register but only later on does the full gravity of it all hit you."
"I couldn't drive along a highway or anything like it for nearly a year afterwards because I would get panic attacks and flinched at the slightest movement from other cars or pedestrians standing on the side of the road; which is extremely dangerous as a driver."
- minimal_effort_done
"I’ve been thinking of my wreck almost everyday for over a decade."
"The degree that my seat was reclined saved my life (from what would’ve been a severely gruesome end). I️ struggle with thinking about ‘what if’ I️ was fully upright."
"Sorry to hear about your experience but it is comforting to know it is at least somewhat common to over reflect on these events."
- F33dY0urH34d
"Puppy Love"
"I was stalked."
"The guy who stalked me had a crush on me for years (5+) and because of that, no one would take my concerns seriously (“It’s just puppy love!”) and as a result, I didn’t either until years later."
"This kid paid someone to find my address, and would ride his bike back and forth in front of my house every night. We had a window in our dining room, and he rode his bike past our home enough to figure out my daily routine and when we had dinner."
"And every night during dinner, he would ride back and forth and stare at me while I ate. It got to the point that my mother put curtains up, because although I didn’t tell her who it was, she said it made her uncomfortable."
"He would also wait across the street from my bus stop and stare at me."
"In school, he would leave me notes and messages in terrifying ways. Started out with finding them tucked in between my books in my locker (that he didn’t have the code to), ended with finding a single rose in the driver’s seat of my locked car in high school."
"Towards the end of it all, I actually found him sitting in the driver’s seat, and he refused to get out unless I gave him a kiss, and demanded me to get in the car with him."
"Other creepy instances happened such as he wrote an erotic novel, featuring me, and spread it around school. He also hid in the stage curtains during a play rehearsal so he could watch me during practices."
"But everyone said it was 'puppy love.' "
"The last time I saw him in person was right after our high school graduation. I had some 'friends' who thought it would be funny to invite me to a graduation party and not tell me whose it was."
"I trusted them, so you can imagine my anger when my friend pulled us up into his driveway."
"I was furious but she was my ride so I stayed, but kept my distance as much as I could. Shortly after arriving, we were all around the bonfire when he tells everyone to hang on, he 'has something cool' to show us."
"He ran inside and ran back out with a picture of me sitting in my 6th grade English class. He then announced to everyone that he had “such a big crush” on me that he used to sneak disposable cameras into school and take pictures of me in class/the hallways/at lunch."
"Everyone, again, just thought his years of stalking was adorable."
"I walked up to him, ripped the picture out of his hands, and threw it in the bonfire."
"He shrugged and said it was alright because he had more pictures in his underwear drawer. I got booed for being a 'party pooper' and I demanded my friend to take me back home."
"She still thought it was funny, so I ended up calling an Uber to take me home. Never saw him again, or my 'friends' for that matter."
"I ended up moving across the country for a fresh start shortly after."
"It's been years. He still occasionally tries to add me on social media."
- absoboly
Til It Happens To You
"From 2004 to 2010 I had been a registered Republican."
"I parroted all the lines about 'personal responsibility' and 'working hard' and 'entitlement' and 'self-sufficiency' dutifully. Paul Ryan would've been proud of me."
"Then, in 2011, I ended up without healthcare insurance and unable to refill my ADHD medication without spending hundreds per month."
"Even with my state's healthcare safety net, MassHealth, I was unable to get approved for about half a year, and even then, I wasn't able to make an appointment with my doctor until almost the next February."
"I rationed my Vyvanse out for as long as I could, and struggled for the rest of the time."
"I was also unable to go to the optometrist to replace my very outdated glasses prescriptions, or to the dentist when I had a sudden and inexplicable gum infection, and had to rely on constant mouth washing and a mix of leftover amoxicillin I had to source from multiple friends/family members."
"I was an otherwise very healthy 20-something at the time; I can't imagine how bad it would be for somehow who needed lifesaving medications or treatment."
"Needless to say, I did a 180 on my stance on universal healthcare after that, and it led to a domino effect that made me reevaluate my now former views on many, many other things too."
"Responsibility and hard work are good things; but the Republican stance on them is that everything is achievable through those things. They're just not."
- Dahhhkness
"Everyone always thinks all the personal responsibility etc is great until they are the ones who need help. It’s funny how that works isn’t it?"
- HeyZuesHChrist
"Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to see someone change and that's the ultimate goal, but it's beyond frustrating that people don't give a f*ck until it happens to them."
- dmkicksballs13
Not Unscathed
"Chemotherapy."
"Movies made me think I would be throwing up 24:7. Reality is that it’s nothing like they show in the movies and it’s more like a dementor sucking your soul out very slowly over time."
"It’s slow and constant pain. I’ve never felt closer to death. I knew it would be bad but I had no idea how much it would mess with me mentally as well as physically."
"Happy to report I’m cancer free now, but I did not come out of that battle unscathed."
- gamergirl007
"3 years in remission."
"I have severe, crippling PTSD from cancer and chemo. You are absolutely correct. It sucked the soul out of me... and I can't get it back."
"I am a shell of who I used to be with no way back as far as I can tell."
- alreinsch
No Slurs Needed
"Institutionalized racism."
"I’m whiter than the little mermaid. My first name is one of the top five black names in America."
"When I got out of the army, I had to stop putting my first name on resumes so I would actually get call backs."
"If I dropped a resume off in person, I got called. Same resume, initials only? Called back."
"First and last name? Never got an interview."
"It took me about 18 months to figure out why I couldn’t get a job even with veteran status."
"That sh*t was so demoralizing and I’m embarrassed and hate that it took that experience to finally understand how racism destroys lives without uttering a single slur."
"You bet your ass I educated myself on as much as I could and open my mouth whenever I see that sh*t now."
- Severe-Two-7435
Panic Seriously Attacks
"Panic attacks."
"I never fully understood it. Anxiety wasn't my struggle and on TV it looks like no big deal. I never had anxiety or a panic attack until my dad died."
"First day back to work I was heading out of town and had, what I come to find out, was a full blown panic attack. I started hyperventilating. My legs started shaking."
"I very honestly thought I was going to die and had to have my co worker pull over."
"I got out of the truck laid on my back and stared at the sky what felt like forever, might of been 10-15 mins."
"I've been struggling with the anxiety and ptsd it's caused for about 5 years now. I have mostly got it under control and it's more manageable now."
"But before it happened to me I always blew it off as a minor inconvenience at best. It's not a joke, though."
"The panic literally attacks you and it scared the hell out of me."
- donChonalucci
"Before my 20s, I thought I had real panic attacks when I got really nervous, stomach jumped up to my throat, and I would get red and start stuttering."
"Nope. That’s not a panic attack."
"First time I had one I thought it was it, legit thought I was having a heart attack and dying right then and there."
- PoopyInMyPants
"Same. I always thought people could think or act their way out of an anxiety attack, then my husband had a stroke at 34 and I had my first one."
"WOW. My heart and soul sink thinking of how calloused I was about it."
- No-Security-6101
"Panic attacks fully change you as a person and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy."
- GoingOverTheStars
Heartbreak
"Getting cheated on when you're in genuine love, and the heartbreak that follows."
"The kind where you need to pull over on the way to work as you're suddenly crying so hard you can't see.
You lose weight and people notice. You sleep okay but you look like you haven't."
"You question who you are, what went wrong, why, just why."
"Took me over a year to get over it, like I'd wasted 2 years of my life and lied to myself, was never really happy, and the day I got over it in a truly enlightening experience."
"I cried on and off all day but it was crying while smiling and laughing. Because I remembered what it was like to be happy again."
- Dynasty2201
"This was mine. I understood why they called it heartbreak."
"It felt like my heart was literally shattered. Physical pain."
- queeniesupremie
"Yeah this hits so hard."
"The thing that got me was the absolute embarrassment. I felt so humiliated and just downright stupid thinking back on all the times she said she was one place and I said 'okay have fun, love you' meanwhile she was cheating."
"Sh*t is hard to get over."
- Whitechapel726
I'm Not At That Age
"Getting shingles."
"I'm not in the age this is supposed to happen, it was pandemic stress that activated the chicken pox virus in my body. I was six when I, along with all my siblings, got chicken pox."
"Holy smokes the pain. Imagine your ribs are needles."
"You hurt so badly that you can't wear a shirt. Hurts that bad. And now, a year later I get random tingle on my ribs and get paranoid about another outbreak."
"I'm furious there IS A VACCINE but normally drs don't think about giving it until you are over 50. Get that vaccine now; you do not want this."
- BexYouSee
"I had shingles 2 years ago next month."
"It started on the small of my back and went down nearly my entire left leg. I couldn't wear anything on my legs, couldn't stand up, couldn't sit down, couldn't even lie down comfortably."
"It was agonizing pain and I still get post hepetic neuralgia."
"I'm 30 now. People are always amazed when I tell them I had shingles at such a young age, but the more I talk about it the more young people I find who had it."
"It's ridiculous that there is an age limit on this vaccine. I begged my parents to get it asap because I would never want them to go through that pain. Please if you are able, get the shingles vaccine."
- jordy_lo
"I had shingles abt 3.5 years ago and I’m TERRIFIED of getting it again."
"The pain was unbelievable and lasted months after the blisters were gone. And it gave me a case of post-viral dysautonomia that still affects me sometimes."
"I f*cking hate shingles."
- Send_me_snoot_pics
"In my 20s I was so stressed out from work I broke out into shingles."
"I had just one singular blister on the side of my face and it is the worst pain I've ever had. I can't imagine a larger outbreak."
"I spent days laying on the couch in a Vicodin haze while my husband checked every few hours to make sure I wasn't going blind because that was apparently a worry with it being so close to my eye."
"Every time I get so much as a spot of dry skin near there I panic a little. I never want to go through that again and I wouldn't wish it on anyone."
- mathcamel
Why It's A Big Deal Now
"I underestimated the damage cause by childhood sexual abuse, because I was busy blocking my own experience out."
"I was one of those men who would read about some middle-aged dude bringing charges or accusing somebody of something decades later, and ask myself 'It's been 30 years, why is it a big deal now?' "
"And then I had the moment where I had to admit to myself I was also a victim, and just how much it has affected all my relationships."
"I underestimated what that moment of realization feels like."
- Squigglepig52
"I’ve been worried about this more as I get older."
"I only realized a few years ago that what happened was childhood abuse, but I don’t really feel affected by it even now. It still feels distant and I never thought of it as traumatic."
"I’m scared of the day it really hits me (if that day ever comes.)"
"I’m also a man and I used to think of sexual assault victims, 'yeah that happened to me and it wasn’t that big of a deal, why are they acting so traumatized when it only happened to them once?' and terrible things like that."
"I know now how ignorant that is, but some part of me still feels like it wasn’t that big a deal when it happened to me. Denial and blocking it out is easy."
"Letting it really hit me is terrifying."
- unbridledirony
"THISSSS."
"I ignored/blocked out my childhood sexual abuses and trauma for a long while and never addressed it. It spiraled into relationship problems, low self esteem, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, depression, anxiety…"
"And those are the things I can list off the top of my head."
"Thankfully I’ve been going to therapy and have been doing the ACTUAL work to love myself and reparent myself and learn to handle my emotions. Therapy is great y’all. Go to therapy if you can afford it."
- Ok_Accountant_8716
Menstrual Monsters
"Menopause."
"I now understand why women who have experienced it don't talk about it. It's too damned traumatic."
"But, to be honest, if I would have known what was coming for me in my 40's I would have off'ed myself in my 20's."
- squrlio
"PMDD."
"Premenstrual syndrome taken to an 11. I honestly thought I was maybe bipolar when I was a teenager (starting at 11) but we could never afford to visit the doctor so I never even tried to ask about a shrink. I just lived with it."
"For 2 weeks out of a month I was alternately super happy and just good with life and the other 2 weeks I was suicidality depressed."
"You would not have known it to talk to me. I never burdened anyone else with it so I just planned in silence and put on a happy public face. My goal was that no one ever know."
"I met someone when I was 25 and due to that went on Depo Provera shots. It stopped my period and I was happy all the time. I thought it was just the relationship until I couldn't afford my shot and down the rabbit hole I went."
"I researched and found my answer."
"My husband told me we'd eat ramen all month if need be just to never let my shot lapse because it scared him to see me off it."
"I finally FINALLY talked a doctor into perma birth control in my early 30s and had Adeana and NoVo Shure done and it gave me birth control and took away my periods."
"Without the period I am fine. I can sometimes feel the dark creeping up but I can also see that 'Hey, it must be the time when I would normally get a period.' "
"I let my husband know and he keeps an eye on me and all is well. We just had our 20th anniversary and we back each other up for the hard sh*t."
"If any of you out there have it, you are not alone and you are not crazy. I'm with you."
- Femmefatele
More Sacrifices
"The time you sacrifice being in the military and being a first responder."
"Upon joining the military and police department everyone is told to do their best to prepare for the time they will miss because of the nature of our chosen profession."
"For example, missing life events like birthdays, weddings etc. due to deployments or working crazy hours that constantly change and working just about every holiday and weekend when you are a new guy. Also, being the new guy and working in an undermanned department, it is difficult to take leave since older officers get first pick on days off."
"I understood and accepted that. I didn't think anything of it and it only became clear to me when I attended a close friend's funeral."
"The funeral director reached out to everyone and ask for pics/vids of us with my close friend as they will show them all on a slideshow during the service. A couple hundred submissions were added to the slideshow."
"I was not in any one of them."
"I recognized majority of the pictures and videos were of parties and small get togethers that I couldn't be a part of because of work."
"It made me feel terrible because I kept thinking of how everyone else, especially his family were thinking, 'who the f*ck is this guy?' It took my friend's funeral to finally see how much time I've missed."
- Dookmarriot
"Just A Headache"
"Migraines."
"I used to think people were just being weak; it’s just a headache and you’re acting like a little b*tch."
"God’ll smack ya."
"About 15 years ago, I suffered a traumatic brain and cervical spine injury and, after I recovered, I started getting migraines."
"I felt like I needed to apologize to so many people! I wouldn’t wish them on my ex-wife."
"They’re excruciating and I’m absolutely useless for at least 24 hours. I had a surgery a few years ago that helped somewhat with the frequency, but they’re still awful."
- leadfaucet
Worse Than Childbirth
"Kidney stones."
"I was 19 when I had one. Took the ER docs a while to figure out what it was because they’re primarily an old-people thing."
"I woke up in the middle of the night with excruciating stabbing pain. Tried to let it go away but it got to the point where I could no longer speak, just uncontrollable moaning/screaming while curled in the fetal position on the floor."
"I live literally 1 block away from a hospital but had to Uber there because the thought of walking was inconceivable."
"After it passed, I had like 3 months of deep, unstoppable back pain that was actually coming from my kidney."
"After that entire experience I COMPLETELY understand how people can get addicted to painkillers so easily. They were the only thing that enabled me to sleep."
"Later, I asked around to try and figure out if I was exaggerating my memory of the pain, and two older women in my life BOTH said that when they had kidney stones, the pain was worse than childbirth for them. WTF?"
- Pitiful-Ad815
No Awareness
"Insomnia."
"Because of childhood trauma, I had insomnia from age 5-26. I had no idea how much being tired all the time had impacted my life. I had no awareness of what it felt like to wake up and not feel tired."
"I’ve been shocked at how different I feel."
- shann0n420
Caretaking
"Being a caretaker to my husband whilst he went through treatment and recovery from throat cancer."
"I had never really thought about dealing with cancer from the caretakers point of view until I was there myself. I knew it might be difficult for someone but when I got there it was 'questioning my sanity' hard."
"Not to downplay what my husband went through at all. I'm know he had it wayyyyyyyy worse. But this thread is about what I underestimated, so there you go."
"It was devastating, stressful, draining, and frightening."
"All of this in addition to worrying about him being in the hospital when Covid was strongly spiking and keeping a happy calm face for our 3 year old son."
"But, three surgeries and a round of radiation later he pulled through like a champ and is now cancer free. Yay!"
- SubtleSubstantial
All I Did Was Lean Forward
"Lumbago."
"My. F*cking. God."
"All I did was lean forward while sitting on my bed playing video games. Somehow I threw my back out."
"Went to the hospital and they said it was lumbago and put me on these pain pills and told me to just relax. I couldn’t even sit on my stool in the kitchen to drink anything. Had to sit on the couch while my roommate brought me my drinks."
"Lumbago is no joke, man, that sh*t hurts."
- Xirokami
A Little Gas Pain
"Intestinal blockage and gas pain."
"I wanted to kill myself it was so bad. 36 hours of screaming, puking, pissing myself, no sleep, and more screaming."
"Medical staff could not administer any pain killers as that would slow down my digestive system and exacerbate the situation. It had to either pass naturally or they'd have to go back in surgically for the 2nd time in a week."
"I ended up actually dying for a few minutes, my heart gave out from the pain. When I 'reanimated,' the blockage had miraculously cleared."
"Otherwise, I had literally considered smashing the window with a chair and jumping out of it to end the pain."
"Brutal."
- ZookeepergameSea3890
A Fall
"I fell."
"Which turned out to now be 'a fall' ie what old people have when they fall over. In my case I tore my hip labrum and sprained my ankle and I dunno, disrupted a goblin's lair or something."
"Either way, arthritis that was kinda there anyway just absolutely kicked up a notch."
"I'm constantly sore and arthritic in my hip and knees (the knees, I guess, took all the pressure with me walking funny). And I had arthritic knees already."
"I am 41."
- sjp1980
Now that you know what Reddit has underestimated, it's your turn on the mic.
What's something you hadn't really considered the impact of?
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If you're a human being with friends of the opposite sex, then you've no doubt borne witness to at least one instance that made you aware of the double standards men and women live under.
Men are expected to head out there and grab the world by the balls, so to speak. If a woman does the same, though, watch out. Her daring is enough to malign her forever.
That's just one example, but it's enough to make you sigh and feel some empathy, right?
While some responses were more humorous than others, people shared their thoughts after Redditor Outrageous-Caller-09 asked the online community:
"What do you sympathize with the opposite sex for?"
"I just can't..."
"I just can't imagine not having pockets, I'm sorry!"
Ooga12359
Whenever I meet a woman who is wearing an outfit that has pockets, she is understandably OVERJOYED.
"I feel sympathy..."
"I feel sympathy with them for their baldness and/or receding hairlines."
worstbreakever
This is all too common – of all the medical breakthroughs out there, you'd think we'd have found a baldness cure by now.
"My boyfriend said..."
"Unwanted public boners. My boyfriend said that during puberty a slight breeze could set it off and it was a very awkward and uncomfortable phase."
krim-bus
Am a dude. Can confirm that this was a VERY awkward and uncomfortable phase.
"Periods."
"Periods. They must suck big time."
CowBizzel
Of this I have no doubt. For every woman who is fortunate not to have cramps or other period-related issues, there are countless women who do.
"All the pain..."
"All the pain you have to go through, periods, childbirth. Gyne exams must be awful. Menopause must be awful."
twithdeltablues
I certainly don't envy women for all of this. I grew up with a single mother and felt like I had a front row seat to all of her discomfort.
"I sympathize..."
"I sympathize that men are expected to be the pursuers and ask the woman out. What if he’s shy?"
binglebell
This is a good point. The pressure can be debilitating!
"As a man..."
"As a man I feel bad for the amount of creepy people a woman might encounter online the moment someone learns their gender."
LeaphyDragon
Online harassment is a very real and serious problem. Many women are bullied offline because of it.
"Male rape victims..."
"Male rape victims not being taken seriously simply because they're men."
Unique-kitten
This isn't to say that women have it "easier" – countless sexual assault and rape cases go unprosecuted year after year – but societal expectations for men are such that they run the risk of being mocked or even laughed it, derided as weak should they come forward.
"Walking around..."
"Walking around with a set of dick and balls sticking out of your body."
Klutzy-Barnacle7298
Hey, hey! It doesn't help that they're so sensitive either. We didn't ask for this, you know!
"Dealing with..."
"Dealing with creeps and guys who can't take NO for an answer."
SASHTv
Rejecting someone's advances can be scary... even dangerous. Women never know how men will react.
Men, ask the women in your life about the experiences – you might learn something new.
And women, don't be afraid to ask the men in your life any questions either. You might come away more enlightened.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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I hate to be asked if I need help while shopping. Like, I detest it with a passion.
I can't explain why. Most of the time I have music going in my ears or at least pretending to so the retail stalkers will leave me in peace.
I don't hate the workers specifically, I just hate the sentiment. If I need an assist... I'll ask.
So it's always mind boggling to me to come across people who relish the attention or stores who insist on having staff be a step away from Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
To each their own, as the shopper's guide says.
Redditor Mizu3 wanted to discuss all the simple things in life some of us just get connect with by asking:
"What's a very common thing that you just can't relate to?"Let me Eat
"Restaurants that force their staff to act, sing or engage in fake banter. Just make my food please and leave the theatre to the thespians."
ocrohnahan
GiphyPuff Puff Puff....
"Smoking, nearly everyone in my family and all my friends smoke."
PrinceGubbleBum
"If you don't grow up/hang out around smokers it's honestly kind of hard to just pick it up unless you actually want to. Especially nowadays since smoking cigarettes isn't as common."
"Nobody smoked in my family so I never viewed it as a "normal" thing to do. I always viewed smoking as a bad and kind of pointless habit, because that's what I was taught I guess. It's kind of sad that the people who told you that had that attitude, as if becoming a smoker is unavoidable."
redalmondnails
Big "10"
"I went to a big 10 college, I swear everyone was having the time of their life but me. I couldn't wait to graduate."
puppycat69
"I feel this so hard. I went to a big college because my best friend was going. Turns out I'm way more introverted than I thought I was in high school. We basically went from friends to acquaintances in like 3 months and I was stuck at a school I hated."
C_rag1994
the sounds of silence....
"Being quiet late at night when your parents are asleep. My parents are deaf."
billybobjoe517
"Damn. What a life. Not being afraid of being heard. Well - not by your parents at least, idk about siblings. So many possibilities."
potato_cupcakes
GiphyLife on Tape....
"Sharing your whole, intimate life on facebook/tiktok/instagram/etc. It's just gross."
kellydean1
"A coworker of mine posts no less than 3 hours worth of video onto his Snapchat daily. Every single meal he cooks and eats, every single time he feeds his turtles, every single walk he takes with his dog. It's insanity."
ChaplnGrillSgt
Through the Curls....
"Running a brush through my hair. I have very curly hair so only finger brush it when it's wet which isn't often. Seeing people grab a brush and run it through their hair when they've been in the wind or just to 'freshen up'... I wish!! My dad is who I got my curls from and so he knew to brush from the tips to the roots whereas my mum didn't and would try getting a brush through from root to tip! I once had a hairdresser brush my hair while it was dry and I was holding back tears the whole time (I was too shy to say anything). Then there was always kids at school wanting to straighten it 🙄."
BryoniaAlba145
I Do - We Don't
"Big expensive weddings."
itsafrozenburrito
"Best thing about 2020 for me is that we didn't have a £25k wedding but instead had a £500 wedding with just us and our parents."
RadBikeBro
Dream Big?
"Having dreams and aspirations, I never thought I'd get to be an adult so I never had dreams. Btw thanks for the awards guys, I've never gotten so many so I appreciate all of you! <3"
Fifi0n
"22, this year made me stop and suddenly I started to question myself why I do what I do, crap is scary man, I don't know me lmao."
"Edit: Thanks for the replies, made me realize that while I'm kinda lost, I'm in the right path to find myself. Wish you the best this 2021."
Patenski
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...It's Just Cloth
"The obsession with branded things. Clothes with the brand's name on them just look tacky for me. I'd much rather have a regular old graphic tee instead of a t-shirt with Gucci on the front in gigantic bold capital letters. It's pretty whatever most of the time, wear what you want and all that, but the obsession becomes incredibly annoying when people act like they're better than you because they spend several hundred dollars on a single shirt."
PerEnooK
It's all Crap
"Keeping up with the Jones's"
"I don't give a crap how nice or shiny your things are or mine aren't."
ashibah83
GiphyThe Husband
"That trope where the husband is a useless piece of lazy crap who couldn’t possibly feed himself or care for the kids and house without your divine feminine guidance. It used to make me feel bad like am I supposed to be running this crap by myself while my man just lies on the couch after work? But then I realized no it’s the trope thats crappy. It’s everywhere though and women think it’s somehow cute or empowering to perpetuate it." ~ KayaXiali
Bad Start
"People taking out loans for their wedding expenses. One of the number one reasons people get a divorce is money. No better way to start off your marriage than in debt, I guess?" ~ spanman112
A Fool
"Thinking that being an idiot is funny." ~ SasugayUchiha
"People who think being an a**hole is funny, I think, just crave any attention they can get. I have an uncle who’s an a**hole on the outside but deep down is really caring but to me it just seems like he never learned how to express his emotions and feels he’s protecting himself by being a fool." ~ exusemepo
Histrionics
"The requirement of drama I've met so many people who are always in the midst of some drama, and then, when lacking in it, create it for themselves, they thrive off it. I mean, at a push I can understand it to an extent, (it gives their lives meaning possibly?) but then they try and drag people like myself into their drama. I THINK, THE HECK, NOT!" ~ MidnightStorm03
Shhhh...
"Speaker phone in public. I barely even want to take a normal call anywhere in public with a whispered tone." ~ ACDunne
Comedy Reaction GIF by Bayerischer RundfunkGiphyWe’ve got this.
"Having a task to do and just doing it. I have depression and many simple tasks feel like walking with glass in my shoe. I know I can do them, and should, but I often just can’t."
"EDIT: I’m really grateful for all the awards and upvotes and for people reaching out. I’m doing pretty well lately, for those that expresses concern. I’m especially encouraged that more than five thousand people found this relatable in some way. It sucks that we’ve all struggled, but it’s so great to be reminded that you aren’t alone. You aren’t some freak or failure. At least 5000 other people have had the same struggle. Keep fighting friends. We’ve got this." ~ theatrew**re
The Appeal
"The level of excitement people get about watching sports. I appreciate that for some people it's a phenomenal event to see, worthy of unbridled shows of joy and anger (depending on the outcome). But it just doesn't have any importance or appeal for me." ~ ToBePacific
fighting is optional...
"Fighting/yelling/hostility in relationships with my significant other. It could very well stem from my childhood, I guess. It’s not to say we don’t have disagreements or the relationship is flawless but obstacles always have been resolved without much issue. Fortunately this held true with all of my romantic relationships. I’ve always lived by the saying 'conflict is inevitable, fighting is optional.'" ~ the_good_old_daze
Snapshots
"Taking and sharing pictures of everything. Except for when I'm travelling, I take maybe twenty pics a year." ~ A40
"My boyfriend is like this, he very rarely takes pictures. I used to be too but I lost someone last year and realised I didn’t have one picture with them and it broke my heart so I promised myself that I’d take more pictures. I don’t understand people that take pictures of everything, but I do try to capture moments, not to post on social media but just so I have them if I ever lost that person." ~ cousin_it13
Just For Laughs Reaction GIFGiphyTime Together
"Loving and wanting to spend time with your family. Had a terrible awful childhood, as an adult just lots of toxic interactions whenever anyone from my family got involved in my life so all cut off. When I see people posting about their family and how much they love them, I just don't understand it. I don't understand my fiancé missing his mom etc. I know I'm the anomaly, but just cant relate in anyway." ~ Lostinmoderation
We all relate to our environment in different ways.
Don't like something?
That's fine—you do you.
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