The truth is everybody's brain houses random facts. We can all retain tons of information that others cannot. And it just so happens all that info leaks eventually.
Potato-Potatoe
potato GIFGiphy"My friend has a master's degree in mechanical engineering and robotics. He once made a potato salad with raw potatoes because he thought, since it's a salad, you're not supposed to cook it."
- massi95
PHD in Chem
"Guy with a PhD in chemistry. Had a problem with electric furnace, it kept switching off the circuit breakers. So he was told by someone to stick a wooden splinter in it to keep the switch up, but it was too weak and the gap in the breaker too narrow. So he took some strip of metal instead... Well, he still lives but he said he almost pooped himself."
- Ziriath
Ingredients
"I have a friend who did something. He is/was overweight and on a diet. We stopped at some place to get lunch, he gets a side of pea salad. (Same as potato salad, tuna salad, chicken salad. One main ingredient with a crap ton of mayo and some cheese.)"
"I say, hey bro… What happened to your diet? He said, what??? I then point at the big cup of pea salad and say "you know that's like 50% mayonnaise, right? That cant be good for you, at least not on your diet."He responds "I mean, it's a salad, right?" 🤦♂️
Just to say I'm not the model of health or anything, but I do know you can't eat copious amounts of mayo on a diet. Lol"
Dang!
"My sister. My wonderful sister. So intelligent, educated… but dang. They had their house inspected and the inspector found an issue with their gas heat. Called in a repairman and it turns out the were having lower levels of carbon monoxide leaking into their home."
"When my mom asked her why she didn't have several working detectors she answered "well I did, but one just wouldn't quit beeping". This was 10 years ago and we still bring it up all the time. Thankfully everyone turned out to be ok, but that wouldn't have been the case much longer."
- momx3f
Oh Brother....
Forest Gump GIF by memecandyGiphy"My brother was in Uni in the UK And needed a toaster. He ordered on off of Amazon for £3 and was surprised to find one so cheap. Turns out it was a kids toy, it came with plastic pieces of bread as well."
Ok, some people are unintentionally dangerous. That is another fact, but still have a good heart. Information is clearly power, in the right hands.
Motherland
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphy"We were in a Conference that mentioned bulimia and she said I think I have ancestors from there."
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Twin
"My dad is a software engineer and pretty smart. When my twin and I were about 7 he was the only one home with us when he started coughing up blood. Except he didn't tell anyone and decided to just wait for my mom to get home instead of getting someone else to look after us and going to the hospital."
"My mom was so pissed when she got home and he casually mentioned the coughing up blood thing. Turned out he had bronchopneumonia and had to spend a couple weeks in the hospital. Even had to have his heart stopped and started again. He almost died because he decided coughing up blood wasn't an emergency."
- 2_lazy
The Neighbor...
"I have a neighbor, he is by far the smartest person I know. A couple fourth of July's ago he got a quarter stick of dynamite, and strapped it to an RC boat with a detonate button and a timer. He sent it out on the lake at night, flipped the switch and it didn't go off. So he took it back into the house to fix it, but never turned the detonate button off. So when it was fixed the 7 second timer started going. It ended up going off in the house and blowing out all of the windows. Everyone was safe."
On the Head
"Easy. Dads an actuary. Basically a cross between a mathematician and an economist. Wrote a text book for his field, and has been CEO of several very large companies. I came home many years ago to hear Age of Empires blaring at a million dB. Thats odd."
"I wander downstairs to find him playing the game, with headphones on... but unplugged. He had the sound turned up on the speakers because he couldn't hear it over the dampening of the headphones. To top it off, he had the headphones on backwards. To this day makes me smirk."
"casual meth use"
Angry Bbc Two GIF by BBCGiphy"Girl I know has a masters in chemistry and still thought she could get away with "casual meth use" as if that is a thing."
Crafty Gramps...
"I have a grandfather who was an extremely talented criminal who used to rob store safes. One time he robbed a safe while posing as an inspector without even being noticed. He eventually turned himself in after starting a family (having my mom) then summarily escaped from prison, and managed to create a fake identity with a loophole that has now been closed."
"He lived with a fake last name for several years until he was eventually caught. However, he managed to negotiate for a pardon by explaining the loophole he used to create his fake name. (It was either the mayor or the governor, I forget). He went free and got a job as a maintenance guy. Then he retired and gave all of his money to a scam televangelist and now lives in poverty."
Zero...
"Brother in law is a pretty clever guy. Ran a bath for his kid, couldn't get the tap to turn off, mad panic, rang a plumber friend asking him to come round quick or the house is gonna flood. Friend was like, you could just pull the plug? Real nice, real clever guy. Zero common sense."
Kicks the mass...
"Where we are, you don't mess with jelly fish. They mess you up. My partner, post grad quals, civil engineer, super rational, smart, measured, not at all impulsive human being walking along the water's edge at the start of jelly fish season. Sees a mass in the water. "That looks like a jelly fish." Kicks the mass."
"Toe connects with mass. "Damn. It was a rock." Having gotten over my amazement at the stupidity I just witnessed, I pocketed the rock. Gave it to him as a congratulations at your amazing career promotion, just to remind him he is not immune to errors of judgement."
Idle Hands
Dummy Feeling Dumb GIFGiphy"They used their bare hand to check if the stove was still hot by pressing it directly on the burner, and they had two doctorates."
Damn Dad!
"My dad, Tafe professor. Got his mortgage down to $20,000 and had the opportunity to pay it all. Redrew and bought a brand new car. Totalled car. Bought another brand new car. Gave it to girlfriend at the time. Girlfriend left and kept car. Currently owes $250,000 on his same mortgage."
DOPE!
Dope GIF by asianhistorymonthGiphy"While applying for a job, he thought "sick pay" meant that the job paid really well."
The Shame
"My older brother. Hands down one of the smartest people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Once got incredibly drunk, and wrote "A**" in big black permanent marker on the right ass cheek of an acquaintance who was wearing a brand new pair of like $85 white jeans. Never seen him look so ashamed while giving money to a person for clothing."
Jump!
"My buddy who is now a brilliant emergency medicine doctor at one point while sledding bet he could jump off his moving sled, over a flat bench, and land on the sled. While moving, he realized he couldn't position to jump and crashed ribcage into the bench. Dumbest genius I have ever met."
Cut Up
GIF by MashableGiphy"My older brother was the high school valedictorian and decided to cut an apple with a large knife while holding it in his hand. He has a lovely scar from it."
Moron Math
"My husband. He's a mathematician for the Feds, but he has repeatedly gotten us to the wrong airport in cities that have more than one. Like at least three times. He's brilliant, but a moron."
- Azryhael
"I'm also married to a mathematician. I feel your pain. I wouldn't trust him to plan or navigate any kind of travel. Ever."
- jn29
Everyone has moments of clarity. It's just that many of us have to lift through fog. And that fog can be heavy.
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