We've all heard the advice to not throw away a good thing over some small issue at some point in our lives, but fortunately, most of us haven't heard this to keep us from ending something as serious as a marriage.
But it seems there have been some people who have ended their relationships over the most ridiculous and mundane things.
So when Redditor dankph asked about it, divorce lawyers were ready to share:
"Divorce Lawyers of Reddit, what's the most outrageous reason someone has filed for divorce?"
Going Behind Each Other's Backs
"Paralegal, here. There are so many crazy divorces and divorce will bring out the absolute worst in couples. When thinking of reasons a divorce started, this one stands out to me the most:"
"At my last firm, we did general law, which included probate. A couple did their will with our firm. We drafted everything, they were in their mid-70s to early-80s. Married 40 years total. Divorced and remarried once."
"The husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate, but did not want us to tell his wife."
"He wanted to have us make a secret will and a fake will. The fake will would be signed with her present, and then he wanted us to shred it and he will come in later to sign the 'real will.' He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it."
"Two weeks later, he called us and said he wanted to file for divorce instead."
"And a bonus one: A previous client was P**SED because his wife was cheating on him. She wanted a non-contested divorce and wanted to use my boss specifically because she knew he was a great lawyer."
"He pretended to go along with her terms and contacted us literally 2 days before his wife and retained us. He said he didn't care how much money the retainer was but wanted my boss so his wife couldn't have him as a lawyer. He called and paid first, so he won that battle."
- PetiteChaos
"My ex and I had agreed to do mediation for our divorce instead of going with lawyers. He went out and met with all the best lawyers in town before choosing the biggest shark around. Then he had me served with papers out of the blue."
"We live in a relatively small town, I had to scramble to find a decent lawyer. Since he had consulted with all the local lawyers, I was unable to retain anyone. I ended up with one that worked in a neighboring town."
"My mom had to put the retainer down for me because my ex had liquidated all our bank accounts and reported all the credit cards we shared as stolen. (I had been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, so I wasn’t making any money at that time)."
"It was a nightmare."
- RealHausFrau
"My 90-year-old client (the husband) and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88-year-old wife. They’d been married 60 years."
"The wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them. The battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter."
"At their first court appearance, my client showed up in an old 1950s-style pinstripe suit and fedora. He was a farmer his whole life, and this was clearly the only suit he owned. He was such a meek and lovely old gentleman."
"To be honest, he reminded me of Al Capone or an old school gangster in his suit, which was 100% the opposite of his soft-spoken gentle demeanor. His red-faced adult son did all the tough-talking for him - I never heard my client directly say one bad word about the woman he was divorcing."
"I had to pass my client onto a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country, but I understand the divorce was eventually granted."
- Horrified_Witness
"I represented a porn actress and webcam model who filed for divorce from her husband who also did the porn and webcam model business."
"He would do gay porn on the side because the pay was better. She was hesitant about it but dealt with it because the pay was decent. Both sides had an agreement that it wasn't cheating as long as it was for work."
"One day she came home early and found her husband in bed with two men... they were not filming... that was too much for her. Needless to say, the old conservative judge couldn't wrap his head around this one..."
- FearTheChive
"My Grandfather's brother was a judge who presided over state issue marriages from time to time. One couple he married returned six months later to 'confirm' the wedding and end their trial marriage."
"When he thusly informed them that there was no such thing and that they had been married for six months, they subsequently broke up."
- Aths
Mother Knows Best
"I've had a lot of younger male potential clients come in for divorce consults with their mother."
"Then, during the consult, the mother does 98% of the talking, and it's clear who actually wants the divorce. (I'll usually escort Mom to wait in the lobby while I talk to the son directly, and most of the time he's just there to appease his mother.)"
"On a related note, I once had just the mother call for a consult because she said explicitly she wanted her son to get a divorce. I politely informed her that's not how divorces worked..."
- Elle_Woods
"My parents always told each other when they were fighting that if they got divorced, the other had to keep me and my brothers."
- livingonameh
"My mom worked in abuse and neglect counseling and juvenile justice. There are a lot more cases like this than I'd care to admit."
"Parents divorce and neither side wants the kid. Some of them are that neither side wants a kid but will fight over another kid. If ends up totally screwing them over because they have to live with the fact that their parents didn't want them."
- ComfyF**ker9000
"I knew a couple who were married for only a few hours."
"The bride's side of the family was being disrespectful to the groom's side at the reception."
"He brought this up on the way to the hotel after the reception which caused a heated argument. The bride calls up her family who arrive at the hotel and start a fight with the groom in the lobby."
"The groom called his side of the family as well. The hotel lobby turned into a screaming match field and they separated there and then."
"It was such an extravagant wedding. What a waste."
- Wogachino
Splitting Hairs
"Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. The wife called the cat Snowball because of her white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast."
"The husband called the cat Lily again because of its white fur and believed it should only eat dry food."
"These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a sh*t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old."
- sxcamaro
"My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he wouldn't spend more time washing his vehicle anymore."
"When the glue didn't work, she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones, she filed for divorce."
- amazinglymorgan
"My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for two reasons:"
"He did not have enough hair on his chest."
"And he did not drive fast enough."
"Keep in mind, this was in the '70s when chest hair was a bit more important."
- Bodhi_ZA
"When I clerked for a judge, we had a week-long divorce trial between a couple. The husband was a wildlife photographer and the wife was a stay-at-home wife (no kids) who... helped 'remodel' the home."
"Anyway, the husband was mauled by a grizzly bear he was photographing and spent several months in the hospital and rehab. He was served papers shortly after getting out, now without an eye and with severe scarring on his face and side."
"She wanted half of everything. The non-scarred half at least."
- Mehndeke
"I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of 2 months because she would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until after getting married."
"He hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead, but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night."
"This was an eccentric late 40s man working at a burger king who acted like all the other high school coworkers were his best chums, and often told us these weird stories. I'm glad I don't work with him anymore."
- yeerk_slayer
While some of these reasons were legitimately disgraceful and hurtful, some of the other reasons were so insignificant to end an entire marriage over.
This calls for a gentle reminder for couples to really get to know each other before exchanging those wedding vows.
How Married People Try To Screw Each Other Over According To Divorce Lawyers
Divorce lawyers see a lot of drama.
Divorce can be a very messy process and tensions and emotions can run high. That's why so many couples have a hard time disentangling themselves from each other... and the worst matches have been known to do everything in their power to screw the other party over.
Sometimes the results are funny and sometimes they're horrible (or maybe even a mix of both).
Nevertheless, we heard a lot about some messy, messy people and their even messier divorce drama after Redditor DarkFander14 asked the online community:
"Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what is the most insane (evil, funny, dumb) way a spouse has tried to screw the other?"
"Turns out she's been collecting..."
"I am not a lawyer but work in the court system. One case that came in was a couple divorcing on mutual terms, the husband had one child with her and the wife had a child from the previous marriage. He agreed to pay child support for both children, I guess he really cared about this other enough to support her even though it isn’t his obligation."
"Judge signs the order, they go to set up the child support account and it gets kicked back saying you can’t have two accounts for one child. Turns out she’s been collecting child support from the biological father the entire time and never told him. She basically tried to milk two fathers for one child... and the other attorney knew about it."
Dikutoy
Wow! Imagine if she had succeeded. Sounds like she totally expected to.
"Decided that day..."
"Not my case, but during my first year of law school lawyers from different practices came to give us a peek behind the curtain of different areas."
"The divorce lawyer told the story of rather well to do couple that spent months and months and many tens of thousands of dollars fighting over absolutely everything all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray. He couldn’t remember the significance, but somehow it had come through the husband’s family."
"Even after everything else had been decided, they spent many more months and nearly $100,000 fighting over just this ashtray. Then, after a court hearing the wife finally won the ashtray. She promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps...and smashed the ceramic ashtray. Left the pieces all over for the husband to see on his way out."
"Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer."
105degrees_andrising
Honestly, it sounds like you made the right decision. This story is insane.
"He gave her..."
"I didn't handle the divorce, I handled parts of the aftermath. In the divorce, she went AWOL, was living in a truck somewhere, and just couldn't handle it mentally."
He gave her five of his nine companies. They were the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes. He had made her the bookkeeper on paper. She spent decades trying to shake the IRS for the results."
[deleted]
Is there a way to say, no, I don't want this, or is it just that she didn't know about the debt? I would image she didn't know, and that her lawyer didn't know the right questions to ask.
"The first case I ever worked..."
"I’m a lawyer but have had a very limited amount of experience in divorce cases. The first case I ever worked the husband shaved/waxed every single hair off his body in an attempt to avoid a court-mandated drug test."
NegligentNeanderthal
"Wife spent the next several years..."
"Worst I saw was a decades long case. Husband had been in a motorcycle accident, suffered brain damage. Has severely limited capacity going forward. Got a huge settlement afterwards."
"Wife spent the next several years stealing the entirety of the guy's money and property variously by forging his signature or putting documents in front of him that he couldn't understand and telling him they were something benign so he'd sign it."
"She then forged a bunch of letters from a tax authority and convinced him he was about to go to jail and further convinced him to flee the country."
"He finally came back several years later to find out everything he owned was in her name and one of the documents he was told to sign were divorce papers."
"Dude got left with nothing. I moved on before I found out how the story ended."
dissociator
This is nightmarish. I can only imagine how horrible the pain must have been for that man.
"A soon-to-be ex-husband..."
"A soon-to-be ex-husband left his wife's prized Koi to die on the doorstep of their house. Apparently the value of these fish (six in total) was over $100,000. She was, according to her lawyer, so distraught that she couldn't be in court. Only in LA."
[deleted]
Is this not destruction of livestock/property and animal abuse? Koi are really long lived fish and can become a bit friendly too.
"The final object..."
"Not my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbit statue, a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever."
"Zero sentimental value but since it was the final item, neither side wanted to "lose" the last thing and they dragged it out over 3 separate meetings for this one thing. I don't remember which ended up getting it, but once they settled it and signed everything, the "winning" party stuck it on their lawyer's desk as a gift and walked out."
Much_Difference
They must have felt so cool yet looked so stupid.
"He texted his wife..."
"Had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever getting back in were slim."
"He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children, and would remind the children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave."
Armada5
This sounds like a perfect way to lose custody. Wow.
"Spouse had been out..."
"Divorce lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks. She waited until he was on a business trip, came into the house, turned on all of the faucets, plugged the drains, turned off the furnace, and left. It was -10 degrees . He came back five days later. The house was ruined. The water froze and cracked the foundation."
Slagathar1
I'm guessing no insurance... or insurance didn't cover a deliberate act of damage, or something.
"He claimed that his ex-wife..."
"I don't practice divorce law, but I did an internship with a family law judge in law school that involved me sitting in on a lot of stuff. One divorced couple came in because the ex-husband wanted to lower his spousal support payments, due to his lowered income, great financial responsibilities, and the fact that his ex-wife was declining to seek paid employment, all of which sounds reasonable on the face."
"It turned out that while his income had been lowered due to 'cuts', his new wife, who technically worked as his 'assistant' (and had done so prior to the divorce) was now making quadruple her salary, more than he ever had."
"He claimed that his ex-wife had "unpaid renters" living with her and could have money to survive if she charged them rent— it turned out they were the couple's shared 18 year old twins who were living at home having just graduating high school and were going to keep living at home while starting college in the fall."
"(It also later turned out that he allowed his step daughter and her two children to live with him and his wife rent free and paid for her college. His ex-wife produced evidence that he told his own kids to figure out paying for college themselves.)"
"He claimed that his ex-wife worked as a nanny for free by choice and should be getting paid for work elsewhere. The kids she watched for free were their three joint grandchildren from their eldest child, two of which were severely disabled."
"He claimed that when he married his new wife he gained over fifteen new dependants, which was technically true, but those dependants were all in Mexico and included his new wife's grown siblings and their families, none of whom he had ever met."
"This dude was shocked when spousal support wasn't decreased."
wolfmalfoy
It sounds like he’s trying to bleed his ex wife dry, not realizing he’s being bled dry by the new one!
Well, well, well... I think I just won't get married now.
Yeah, I need some time to think about that one.
Oh, and please don't be like any of these people. Just don't. The world will thank you later.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us about them in the comments below!
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
I may sound a bit ghoulish and a little bitter and pessimistic, but I do love a good dramatic ending to a love story. If it has to end let it go out big.
Perhaps that is why some of my favorite shows are daytime dramas or primetime soap operas. Divorce runs rampant in those sources of entertainment and it's enthralling to watch.
Love can be eternal but it can also wither into a cesspool of seething hate and despair. And it's always fascinating to get to the root of how it all unravels.
The ones to discuss these aspects of love with are the ones with a front row seat to the finish.
Redditoru/KarysMRwanted the lawyers out there to tell us some tales about how low some couples can go when the love story is over, by asking:
Lawyers of Reddit, what is the pettiest reason you've ever seen for divorce?
Being a divorce lawyer has go to be an entertaining career. I hope they all keep a journal, because any and all details could make for fascinating television. You change the names to protect the innocent or guilty.
Crumbs...
cookie monster eating GIF by University of CaliforniaGiphy"My father-in-law and mother-in-law's breaking point was when he threw a breadcrumb at her from across the kitchen. The divorce took 4 years to settle."
Transaction Done.
"A client and his wife came in regarding a real estate transaction. At the end of the consultation, the client casually stated that he would like to divorce his wife. I was stunned, the wife started crying, the client started rubbing his wife's shoulder and told her that everything would be okay. That was an awkward few minutes."
- rks1743
A Bad Lift
"The weirdest I've ever seen is a coworker of mine. His wife saw a picture of him at a pool when he was in high school and really athletic. Toned, muscular, tan and so on. Over the 10 year after high school he stopped lifting and lost his muscle tone and just became skinny."
"She told him she wanted him to get back to working out because she really liked the way he once looked and he said it was something he missed doing and agreed to get a gym membership. He was going to the gym four days a week but was only really working out for two of them."
"On the days he didn't work out he would sit in the sauna to get sweaty, watch Netflix and then go home. When she asked about him going to the gym and accidentally let it slip that he was fudging workouts twice a week. She apparently found that to be a deal breaker and filed for divorce."
Avatars
"I had a client who with his wife were into a computer game like the Sims only more x rated, I think it was called Second Life, where you have an avatar and can interact with other people's avatars. He suspected his wife of, through her avatar, hijinks and made his own avatar to stalk her in the game. Sure enough her avatar was doing the dirty with some dude's avatar. That was it for my client."
Oh Hell No
Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"The husband kept putting wet/used towel on their bed."
- automind
See these stories keep me sane when I feel lonely. Who in the world needs this kind of madness? This is why I say love can never be fully trusted.
And wet towels on my bed? You're out!
Oh Sacha
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"Pam Anderson and Kid Rock simply put 'Borat' as the reason for their divorce. I'd say thats gotta be up there."
Tubed
"Wife wanted divorce like 2 months into marriage because the husband would squeeze the toothpaste from the top and not bottom. She claims to have told him a million times over to stop. Would have been easier to get 2 tubes of toothpaste I thought."
People Share Which Social Norms Absolutely Baffle Them | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"My wife and I had been using the same toothpaste tube for I dunno 20 years or something. Recently, we had two tubes because I accidentally bought the wrong one. No big, I said she can use the good one and I'll use the crappy one. So after about a week of this, I notice my toothpaste was gross. The opening was half clogged and there was run off into the cap. I had to scrap the crust off just to get to the fresh toothpaste. Next week, same thing. Gross."
"Turns out my wife had been maintaining the toothpaste tube correctly for years! I had no idea that I dispensed paste in a sloppy stupid way. So I asked my wife how to use a freakin' toothpaste tube. Lol... I think I got it mostly right by the time my crappy toothpaste ran out and it was time to go back to shared paste. 😂"
Last Straw
"Nobody ever believes me about this one, but it's true. A man wanted a divorce from his wife because - and he gave this example as the "last straw" - his wife ate those nasty pumpkin Halloween candies, like candy corn but pumpkin shaped. He had been looking forward to them all day and when he got home, she had eaten them all. He snapped. Swear on my life this story is true."
- Brkiri
Empty
"Definitely the fridge Story!! A woman filed for divorce because her husband would eat everything he can find in their fridge whenever the wife was out for work. So she came back to a basically empty fridge each night. He also cheated on her but she was less angry about that. The fridge was what pushed her to the point she wanted a divorce."
Plan for 5...
real housewives of orange county divorce GIFGiphy"I'm a lawyer but not that kind. However, my brother's 4th wife divorced him because she found out the ring he'd used was originally his 3rd wife's. They deserved each other."
Got to BK!
"Not a lawyer- but apparently my brother divorced his wife when McDonald's forgot to put bbq sauce in with her chicken nuggets at the drive through and she asked him to go back and get some. He didn't and then I guess she started smashing up food and throwing it at him/out the window... so yeah. McDonalds how could you ruin a marriage 😅..."
The Good China
"My Mom's coworker divorced over dishes in the dishwasher. The wife would get so frustrated over the husband (coworker) not rinsing dishes before he loads them in the dishwasher. To compromise, they bought a super nice, top of the line dishwasher. Solves the problem, right? She yelled about the dishes that night. He filed for divorce the next day."
Never Florida!
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"I once had clients who got a divorce because she wanted to buy a condo in Naples, Fl. The petty part of the story is that combined their lawyer fees would have bought a very nice condo on the water in Naples."
- rpf0525
For the tots...
"My aunt used to work as a divorce lawyer. The worst one was a couple fighting over a hamster (of which took so long the thing died before they were settled). She said it was a bargaining chip to win favor from their children. At that rate just buy another hamster!"
"My ex was like this. Basically gave him everything just so I could leave him. He took most of the money and assets but I got away from him. Yay. Then he blew all his money and abandoned the kids. Seriously struggled to cope with 100% care and cost but wouldn't change it bc I have my kids and they have me. Still, was very hard to come to terms with the injustice. Sigh."
Hey Neighbor
"A woman came in wanting to divorce her husband. He had just gotten a new job and a pretty big raise. It turned out that this new job of his also required that he work from home but he was working in an office before. She was having an affair with their next-door neighbor and him being home more meant that she couldn't cheat on her husband easily. That was definitely a twist. I was expecting something like him being the one having the affair but nope!"
Told you so...
"Not divorced, but annulled on their wedding day. I've told the story a few times on Reddit, so long-story-short-time: She told him several hundred times that if he smashed the cake in her face at the reception, it was over. He did it, she walked out and had it annulled the next day. This was over 30 years ago, btw."
- dramboxf
Oh Dear...
"Someone's husband insisted on bringing their mother to their honey moon. That's when the wife realized his mother was still breastfeeding him. I don't think it was a petty divorce but I think the man is petty. He also made his mom go to court with him, my guess, he was thirsty."
- NoJoke24
in my face...
snow wtf GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"Dandruff. Wife didn't like that the husbands dandruff would flow into her face when riding a motorbike."
- Why-M4
Being Hoagied
"The husband could only eat hoagies if they were nailed to a table. So they mostly ate at home where it was ok for him to damage a table. But once time during a roadtrip stopped at a deli. He had the nailgun with him and nailed the hoagie to the table so he could eat. So she divorced him after the vacation."
Ah love, so splendid, so pure. So insane. I'll always hope for a happy ending, but will always stay vigilant and try to not freak about the small things. Maybe that's the key to a happy ending?
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Divorce Lawyers Share The Most Outrageous Reasons They've Ever Seen A Couple File For Divorce
Sometimes love isn't forever, and more often than not the end is closer to the beginning of the story than many would like to admit. The end of a marriage is no fun for anyone involved. It maybe a long time coming and a long awaited satisfaction but never fun. And the reasoning behind the severing of ties can be something only a fiction writer wishes they could think up. It may not be fun, but it's certainly never dull.
Redditor u/xancanreturns wanted to hear from lawyers about all the crazy, most bizarre reasons love fades by inquiring.... Divorce Lawyers of Reddit, what's the most outrageous reason someone filed for divorce?
How Law & Order....
Pleased Law And Order Svu GIF by SVUGiphyTo avoid prison. Guy came in saying he was going to be indicted for many things (the list would have been impressive if it wasn't also sickening). So, he wanted to marry his accomplice because he saw on TV that your spouse can't testify against you without your permission and the accomplice had cut a deal. He just needed to get this pesky marriage to his current wife dissolved.
They're both happily remarried.....
One straw really can break a camel's back. I'm related to a couple for whom the last straw was him laughing at a joke about how to light birthday candles.
Important context: things had been rocky for a while, and they'd gone back and forth with trial separations, counseling, renewal retreats, reconciliations that didn't quite last, etc. But then they were at their son's birthday party, and another relative started lighting the candles from the left side of the cake.
Wife: Why didn't you start from the center and light outward?
Relative: I thought about it, but I was worried you'd have nothing to complain about.
Husband: chuckles
Wife: storms out in tears, files for divorce the next week
Obviously, it would be dumb to say they divorced over the birthday candles, or over a joke. To her, him laughing at a joke that was made at her expense was a sign of the lack of respect between them. And she just couldn't take living with him if things were going to be like that.
They're both happily remarried and stayed civil as coparents.
 "other wife"
Guy came in and wanted to divorce his wife because he found out that she was still married to some other guy. He then asked me if he needed to tell his "other wife" that he was married to this wife.
"Aah"
Billy Porter Tea GIF by Pose FXGiphyA man filed for divorce because he couldn't stand listening to his wife make the "aah" sound after every drink. Apparently it got to him over the years.
Oh Boy.... lemme tell you....
Oh boy I've been working at a family law firm for 3 years and I have seen/heard some crazy stuff.
For example:
- We handled the divorce for an older man (70s), bc he was cheating and wanted to be with his mistress. Two years go by, he comes back to divorce the mistress bc he's been cheating on HER with his first wife.
- Wife found photos of her husband dressed up as a ballerina.
- Husband files for divorce bc wife does cocaine. He brings us photos of her with coke on her bare boobs. Then admits he took the photos. Then admits he's the one with the coke habit.
- Wife filed for divorce bc she didn't want to relocate to a neighboring state for his promotion.
- Couple with "open marriage" both end up jealous and call different law firms, and file separate complaints for divorce within hours of each other. beloved_wolf
Woof....
Because she bought a $3500 dog as a surprise and when she sent him the picture he responded with "this kind of impulsive nonsense is why your family is poor."
He was very harsh, but damn, I have to agree with him. Don't waste your money, ladies and gents.
The Pics...
Overheard in court one day a woman wanted to divorce her husband because he likes taking pictures of trains, and had been doing so for years before.
If he was a major foamer, i can totally understand that. Some of those people drag their families around the country, chasing heritage units or trains that are hauling neat crap. Literally every Saturday i used to see the same dude in his minivan full of family, happily snapping pictures of us going by while his kids looked bored to tears and his wife (probably) contemplated pushing him in front of a train. I couldn't handle wasting all my free time with someone who just wants to foam at the mouth in excitement over trains.
No Crusts!
gordon ramsey idiot GIFGiphyHe a woman who made his sandwich wrong. Well, she made it with an end piece. So he divorced her.
We never.... you know....
I had a woman call and say she needed an annulment but couldn't find her husband, and hasn't seen him in years. I corrected her that it would be a divorce, not an annulment. She told me they never consummated the marriage so it couldn't be a divorce. I told her that hasn't been the law in a long time, and she fought me on it. I asked her how exactly she intended to prove to the judge - with evidence - that her marriage wasn't consummated, and that got her upset enough to hang up on me.
Jealous Much?
Saved By The Bell 90S GIF by PeacockTVGiphyShe saw him in bike shorts and said she could never be sexually attracted to him again.
I practically live on a bike path and let me tell you that some people shouldn't wear bike shorts. Or anything with spandex. Ever.
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Love is a beautiful, life affirming experience for many. Some love stories are the tales of legend; there are movies made about love and music and literature, so you'd assume it would always be a beautiful thing. Think. Again. Love can also turn dark and cold and vicious. There are movies and art made about that side as well. The dark side is never more on display than when it's the foundation of a divorce.
Redditor u/DarkFander14 wanted to know about the times when divorce proceedings descended into madness by asking.... Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what is the most insane (evil, funny, dumb) way a spouse has tried to screw the other?Interpretations.....
I am an interpreter who works frequently with police and lawyers. The most out there thing I ever interpreted in court went like this:
- Ms. So-and-So, we know each other for a long time, correct?
- Yes.
- As a matter of fact, we have known each other for five years, correct?
- Yes.
- And at the end of each and every meeting we had during the past five years, we always agreed on one thing, correct?
- Yes.
- Please, tell the judge what we agree on.
- It's not okay to break in my ex's apartment and lick all his cutlery.
- Yet, here we are, Ms. So-and-So.
I died 😂😂😂. MsStormyTrump
Slim....
GiphyHad a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever getting back in were slim.
He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children, and would remind the children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave. Armada5
So much fun for us kids.Â
My dad is a divorce attorney. His clients couldn't decide who would get the Labrador puppy's from a new litter they just breed. The pups are worth $1000 a pop. Well they also hadn't been up to date on their payments. So dad brought a litter of 8 floppy puppy's home as collateral for us to have until they could negotiate the settlement. So much fun for us kids. Rogue_Kat15
if mommy loves you.....
I was an assistant for a family law practice, not a lawyer. So it was already a disaster of a divorce because the ex husband was a fool. But it got so much worse when the wife started dating someone new with a severe cat allergy like a year after they split up.
Her psycho ex bought a cat on his time with the kids, except he's not allowed pets at his apartment. He sends the kids back to their mom's house with the cat and all its stuff.
Mom is pissed because she didn't want a cat at all plus her boyfriend is crazy allergic. She calls us asking what to do because her kids are bawling saying that she can't get rid of their new "sibling" and she has the cat in the garage.
Ex told kids "if mommy loves you, she'll let you keep the cat since daddy is not allowed cats at his house." drlitt
$3.50....
Paralegal for a divorce lawyer here. Our client told us he didn't clear out the marital account after the parties filed. Which technically is true, because while he removed $45,000 he left about $3.50 in there. cannabisandcrabs
She didn't want the dog.
GiphyHusband and wife divorce after husband finds out wife is sexting other guys. He goes into a deep depression. They didn't have much. Lots of debt and two dogs. One was a dog he had had since before the marriage. He got her. The other dog was only about 3 years old and was bought to keep the older (7 year old) dog company while they worked.
Wife demanded that since he got his dog that she got the other. He is depressed and just wants to move on so he agrees. She gets the dog and has it put down the next day. She didn't want the dog. She just wanted to hurt him. fingawkward
70%....
This one hits close to home because it happened between my parents. We had a family "friend" who was a lawyer and my parents agreed that he would be the lawyer for both of them as a mediator. So, as the assets were being divided my dad got absolutely slammed. She was going to get the house, cars, half his retirement, and an insane amount of alimony. To the tune of like $2,500 a month for the rest of her life. My dad has a good job as a municipal employee, but that was probably 70%ish of his paycheck.
Turns out that my mom and the "family friend" actually conspired to rip my dad off and make it seem like that's what a divorce settlement looks like. And she was going kick back more money under the table after the dust had settled. Dad just didn't know how these things worked. So, after some convincing he finally went out and got his own lawyer. He got a very fair divorce settlement after that.
Mom still to this day can't understand why we don't talk to her much. wowitsclayton
Joke's on her.....
My uncle's ex tried to work it in that she would get half of whatever my grandmother would leave him when she passes. Joke's on her, my grandmother is passing over her kids (not maliciously, my uncle is very well off and so is my mom) and leaving everything to my brother and me.
Oh, also tried to get sole custody of both of their children... who are in their twenty's. eeyousoonbaboon
The Affair....
GiphyPersonal experience, unbeknownst to me, my ex was having an affair. I worked a lot of hours, so I didn't pick up on it.
We had always dreamed of buying a house on a huge local lake to retire in. We literally started shopping for houses and even toured a dozen or so. We found 2 well within our budget, but would need to sell our house first.
My wife convinced me to take out a couple loans in my name and get a couple credit cards, again in my name, (most of the bills were in hers, and the mortgage was in hers) so I did.
I spent about $25k in CC and loans to fully update our house and get it ready for market.
As soon as the work was done, she told me she was leaving me and wanted to sell the house. p4lm3r
Evil.
I'm going to school to be a vet assistant, my teacher is a veterinarian. She told us on Monday she's had clients bring their animals in to be euthanized so their spouse couldn't have them. Smdh. himoto-liz-chan
Everything screwed down!
GiphyOnce had a boss who had to leave his house for 6 hours while his ex wife grabbed all the belongings she was legally entitled too. When he returned home every knob and handle was gone. Door knobs, cabinet handles, drawer handles, anything that was screwed onto something and used to open it, she had taken. Every day for the next week he would occasionally yell out "SHE TOOK THE DAMN KNOBS!!" JortsEnthusiast69
 Left the pieces.....
Not my case, but during my first year of law school lawyers from different practices came to give us a peek behind the curtain of different areas.
The divorce lawyer told the story of rather well to do couple that spent months and months and many tens of thousands of dollars fighting over absolutely everything all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray. He couldn't remember the significance, but somehow it had come through the husband's family.
Even after everything else had been decided, they spent many more months and nearly $100,000 fighting over just this ashtray. Then, after a court hearing the wife finally won the ashtray. She promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps... and smashed the ceramic ashtray. Left the pieces all over for the husband to see on his way out.
Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer. 105degrees_andrising
5 of 9....
I didn't handle the divorce, I handled parts of the aftermath. In the divorce, she went AWOL, was living in a truck somewhere, and just couldn't handle it mentally.
He gave her five of his nine companies.
They were the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes.
He had made her the bookkeeper on paper.
She spent decades trying to shake the IRS for the results. Flintoid
"I didn't know, I was high."Â
I'm a lawyer but have had a very limited amount of experience in divorce cases. The first case I ever worked the husband shaved/waxed every single hair off his body in an attempt to avoid a court-mandated drug test. NegligentNeanderthal
We had a guy at work do this. Shaved his whole body, razor burn on the back of his neck, cut up his elbows. He was a hairy dude.... Then he failed the urine test. I asked him why he went to all that trouble and he said "I didn't know, I was high." IgotCHUbits
Only in LA.
GiphyA soon-to-be ex-husband left his wife's prized Koi to die on the doorstep of their house. Apparently the value of these fish (six in total) was over $100,000. She was, according to her lawyer, so distraught that she couldn't be in court. Only in LA. hansrudie
Milking it....Â
IANAL but work in the court system. Once case that came in was a couple divorcing on mutual terms, the husband had one child with her and the wife had a child from the previous marriage. He agreed to pay child support for both children, I guess he really cared about this other enough to support her even though it isn't his obligation.
Judge signs the order, they go to set up the child support account and it gets kicked back saying you can't have two accounts for one child. Turns out she's been collecting child support from the biological father the entire time and never told him. She basically tried to milk two fathers for one child... and the other attorney knew about it. Dikutoy
Silly Rabbit....
GiphyNot my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbit statue, a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever.
Zero sentimental value but since it was the final item, neither side wanted to "lose" the last thing and they dragged it out over 3 separate meetings for this one thing. I don't remember which ended up getting it, but once they settled it and signed everything, the "winning" party stuck it on their lawyer's desk as a gift and walked out. Much_Difference
Leave the Cats....
Friend was going through divorce from insane husband. He had been texting her pics of the gun he bought and threatening her. Police were called. Nothing they could do because it was 'only a picture'. He was staying with a secret girlfriend at this point. She allowed him to go get his stuff from the house. She was scared to go back in the house alone. I went with her. First red flag was he had changed the locks.
So we waited for locksmith to open the house and change the locks again. Well, when the door opens... we noticed all of the furniture was gone. So we carefully went upstairs in search of her cats. The entire second floor was empty. No cats. No furniture. Even her clothes were gone. Come to find out he hired a moving company to pack and take everything, even the food in the fridge. Finally found the cats.
He had taken them to another vet in town and put them up for boarding under his sister's name thinking she would not be able to find them. He was finally forced to disclose what happened to her possessions. He had them taken to a storage unit far away from the home. JillAustin
 -10 degrees
Divorce lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks. She waited until he was on a business trip, came into the house, turned on all of the faucets, plugged the drains, turned off the furnace, and left. It was -10 degrees. He came back five days later. The house was ruined. The water froze and cracked the foundation. Slagathar1
Shady.... shady....
GiphyI'm not a divorce lawyer but my parents got divorced about a year ago. My mum didn't want my dad to show up in court because he would contest and then they'd have to split the assets. She phoned me and told me to put laxatives in his food so he wouldn't be able to make it there. She kept screaming at me, commanding me to but I refused. It's one of the reasons that she hates me now lol. Tittybean22
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