Wondering about a hypothetical, Redditor MainSeparate2964 asked:
"Congratulations! You're on a first date with someone you really like, what's something that they could say that would ruin it completely?"
There was one person who was not on the same page.
A Late Confirmation
"This is a platonic date right? No? You know I have a boyfriend right?"
– Glad-Election-7952
Presumptions
"Reminds me of one I got once. Saw a movie, asked if she wanted to get food, she said no. I said 'oh well maybe next time then.' And she goes 'who says there's gonna be a next time?'"
– Silvinis
Identity Crisis
"A friend of hers shows up at the bar. Gestures to me, 'This is Chris.' I am not Chris."
– cambot86
Some dates didn't know what to call their situation.
What Label?
"Oh, so it's a 'date', date?"
– Akamors
The Confused Girlfriend
"No joke. I had a girl once ask me if I thought we were dating... Literally seconds after we had sex. Like we both regularly said we liked each other, went on dates, hugged and kissed in public."
"I had dinner at her families house once or twice a week. Anyway I said 'yeah' and she said 'Oh I don't think we should date.' Like what have we been doing for 3 months? Weirdest experience I've ever had with a 'romantic?' partner."
– kynthrus
A Happy Twist
"This happened to me! The guy didn't think it was a 'date' date and asked for a second chance. Almost ten years married."
– fiestafoxinue
These dates were doomed from before they even began.
False Pretenses
"It was a dare."
"Free food."
"I don't even like you that much."
– tr5al5x
Business Opportunity
"So, how would you like to own your own small business? I know a great opportunity, and all you have to do is get five of your friends to join with you! Want to join my team and crush some goals?"
– HawaiianShirtsOR
Curfew
"My dad said I need to be home by 8."
– YoungFelix105
Repeat Offender
"Remember me? the girl who cheated on your brother?"
– Brandenk192
While there are many variables involved that could derail a first date, you needn't be discouraged.
Just make sure before planning to meet with the person whom you have a crush on knows they will be on a date to ensure there will be no confusion.
Hopefully, it will be a match.
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Most of my minor, well major miracles when you think about it, have been in cars. I've lost track of the amount of vehicle disasters I've averted, by the skin of my teeth.
Out Damn Spot!
GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"My wife dragged my butt to the dermatologist for a cyst I have had for years. While there, the doc noticed a mole on my ankle that he didn't like. Turned out to be melanoma. Would have never gone if my wife didn't force me." ~ TheDistric
Say "AHHHH!"
"24 years old, had a pesky sore on my tongue that was really bothering me. My boyfriend's dad was a dentist so when I was over at his house one night I asked him to take a look. He recommended I go see an oral surgeon the next day for him to check it out."
"The next day I decided it was feeling better so I tried to cancel my appt but my boyfriend's dad insisted I go. I went, and the oral surgeon pretty much diagnosed it as cancer on the spot. It was aggressive and by the time of my surgery to remove it it had already spread to multiple lymph nodes."
"They ended up removing over half my tongue followed by chemo and radiation. Given how aggressive it was, I often think that if I had put off the doctors visit any longer I probably wouldn't have survived. I'm coming up on my 10 year anniversary in January." ~ bobear2017
Flip Out!
"When driving in the upper peninsula in Michigan last summer a truck full of logs flipped and barrelled straight into my car. Completely demolished the car, someone else had to come open the door for me after the fact because they were all pinned shut by logs. I walked out of there without a scratch on my body." ~ Tman2588
Pit Stop
"On a road trip in college with 4 friends. We stopped halfway for a pit stop because I had explosive diarrhea and was getting more sick by the minute. Friends carried on to Vegas and left me with one of the guys who rented us a car to return home. The friends that carried on got into a roll over: 1 died, 2 will be injured for life." ~ 4fingertakedown
Stay Single
Samuel L Jackson Reaction GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy"I was engaged to someone, but then came to my senses and broke it off. Nine months later I found out she got married to someone else, then about 1 year after that she killed her husband." ~ Green-Boysenberry396
Life is a minefield when you think about it. Sometimes the heartbreak of love is worth it in hindsight. You look back and realize you loved a psycho and just say... "thanks for looking out God."
Leaks
relief GIFGiphy"The second floor of the house I was renting collapsed a month after I moved out. ETA: apparently a water pipe sprung a leak shortly after we left. We weren't in any trouble." ~ RenaKunisaki
On Impact
"I was driving home from visiting my brother in Vermont when a snow storm started. I didn't have much experience driving in serious snow and I completely lost control. Car careened off the road and I was heading for a giant boulder at around 50 or 60 mph. I felt time slow down and I reflected on my life for a moment and then said goodbye to my body. Suddenly, I was jolted out of it by an abrupt impact, but I could see that the boulder was still 20 or 30 feet away."
"When I got out of the car, I saw that I had hit a little skinny tree that I could have easily grabbed with one hand. However, it had a giant root system that lifted the car off the ground and stopped me. Car was totaled, but I was completely fine because of that little tree. There is no way I would have survived the other impact." ~ senatorbolton
These Gestures Are Offensive In Other Countries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Winter Days
"Walking to work in the winter. Half way through a step forward under a skybridge when an icicle taller than me (6') and probably 2' around at the base crashes down right in front of my nose. If my bus had been a half second earlier, if I had walked even a tiny bit faster pace."
"I would have been impaled from brains to testicles. I was frozen in place for a minute, quietly surveying my near-death. There was another pedestrian nearby who witnessed it and the wide-eyed, ashen look on his face as he stared at me confirmed just how narrowly fortunate I was that day." ~ MoridinXP
where I had just been...
"This happened before cellphones existed. I had a long commute home and on a rare occasion my husband drove into the city to meet me. I started for home about fifteen minutes before he did. On the stretch of Highway 101 that I needed to be on for about twenty miles, there was a big rig in front of me that seemed to be driving erratically."
"I got this weird feeling and just moved over to the next lane and accelerated past him. In my rear view mirror, I saw the big rig run over the car in front of him, flip to its side crushing the cars in the next lane (where I had just been). My husband was behind the accident and as the police were letting cars file past in single file."
"He saw one of the crushed cars had a red bumper. He got home a couple of hours after me and said he'd never been so happy to see my red car in the driveway. That he'd been holding his breath as he turned down our street because he really expected me to be under the big rig." ~ susgrigs
The Rising
Water Douse GIFGiphy"My wife and I were prepared to buy a nice riverfront property in 2019, but the owners ( her dad and uncle) were dragging their feet. We had our down payment, we were approved for the mortgage, and we had even been living there paying rent."
"Then the river rose 30ft/10m and we had to evacuate. The water kept rising. The house was destroyed before we bought it. So we didn't buy it." ~ Idiot_Savant_Tinker
And these are just the disasters we know about. The truth is, we probably survive near-death experiences with every breath we take. God speed everyone.
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What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
Truth Comes To Light
"It was a big wedding, over 300 people. Turns out the bride had been having an affair with her cousin's husband. The cousin had known for a little bit, but waited until the wedding to go table to table letting everyone know the bride was sleeping with her husband. Poor groom was blindsided. Worst part was his father in law was well off and opened up a restaurant for him. Well, he lost his wife and his restaurant."
– admx14
A Roast Becomes A Scorcher
"Maybe not 'ruined' but it definitely got tense."
"Started with the best man/groom's brother just absolutely roasting the bride and her parents. Basically called them gold diggers and stuff in front of several hundred family and friends."
"Then they cut the cake. Apparently, the groom was told under no uncertain terms not to shove cake in her face. Well, he did it anyway and she stormed off, not to be seen for 20 minutes."
"Reception went on as planned, she got wasted and I'm told she passed out that night in the middle of the street while still in her wedding dress. Pure class."
"They're divorced now."
A Hotel Brawl Leads To Jail Time
"A fight broke out between father of the bride, brother of the bride and some guy that just happened to be staying at the hotel. In reality I don't know how much of a 'fight' it was, more just the Dad and Brother assaulting some man. So anyway they were both arrested. Cut to the bride sobbing at breakfast because her Dad and Brother spent the evening of her wedding in jail and now face assault charges for what they did to this poor man."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
People Share The Most Selfless Thing They've Ever Secretly Done | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Foggy Memory
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
Playlist Fail
"Best friend's mom got remarried and had an expensive, beautiful wedding, but for some reason didn't hire a DJ. Last minute her mom asked me to manage the CD and gave me a list along with verbal instructions of when to play each. I tried to warn her that I simply did not follow, but she told me she had confidence in me."
"Apparently all her life she wanted to walk down the aisle to some specific song, but I just couldn't figure it out. They had to get walking to match the sunset, so she went ahead down the aisle while I flipped through a series of incorrect songs too the horror/amusement of the crowd."
"For years after when I called my friend's house and her stepdad answered, he'd say, 'Is this the guy who f'ked up my wedding? How are ya?'"
Morbid Surprise
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
A Really Bad Landing
"This was one I worked at. After the ceremony, right at the start of the reception - photographer was taking 'jumping' photos of the bride and bridesmaids, so they were all jumping in the air while wearing heels. Bride landed and dislocated her knee, then passed out and kept going in and out of consciousness. We called an ambulance who turned up and fixed her knee etc, but she wanted to continue with the wedding. She then had the first course of the meal and threw up down her dress, and had to sit with her mum in another room while everyone else danced etc. Felt so bad for her as she spent the rest of the evening crying."
Tragic losses unfortunately took place leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
Wedding Crashers
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.