Redditor Heavy-Strain32 wanted to discuss the best ways to help a person suffering.
They asked:
"What's the most genuine thing you can say to a person going through depression?"
I always appreciate someone willing to cry with me. That is a big help. Just a suggestion.
Genuine
‘"It’s really difficult isn’t it.' I loved this line that my therapist said when I was sharing my struggles. There was no judgment, no advice, just felt like I was genuinely being heard."
xlOREOlx
Season 4 Hug GIF by Good GirlsGiphyBest Way
"This is like my favorite show of sympathy/empathy I've ever witnessed. Zuko hearing Sokka tell him about his girlfriend: "that's rough, buddy."
"Not saying sorry for your loss and putting the weight of saying 'it's ok' on the one experiencing the pain, no 'here's a relevant story of mine to show how I can relate' just..."
"'Sh*t man, the thing you went through was rough and you're justified for feeling this way.'"
Exodan
I miss that guy...
"My boss once said to me 'there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling - you're sick. And it's not something that's easy to live with. don't feel bad because you have an illness you can't fix - you wouldn't expect someone with cancer to feel bad, would you?' He then gave me a man hug and we had beers and a vent session for three hours. I miss that guy."
frothy_Wombat
Basics
“I’m grilling tonight, wanna come over?”
"Honestly, when I’ve been depressed there is a double layer of shame. Being treated as a friend just like any other made it feel like I was still part of society and community. Being treated with mittens makes you feel even more worthless and a pariah."
ThinkIGotHacked
Love
"I love you buddy. Friend of mine said it to me when I was struggling. It was instantly disarming of my bad thoughts and still resonates with me now. I find it hard to say myself though as I never really had a male role model growing up."
alidaf
Happy Season 3 GIF by FriendsGiphyAll great suggestions so far. Empathy is easy...
Possibilities
"Anything that isn't a variation of 'think positive.' The illness makes it literally impossible. I liked to hear that I still meant something to the people in my life, despite me not being able to give."
raxeira-etterath
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphyThe Moments
"It's the hugs that don't even need said. At my last job I was in a dark place at the time and slipping back into depression. My blow up at work went from work issues to issues in my life and I didn't realize how far I went and my sauté guy held me. It's the most human moment I've had and it broke me in a good way. Sometimes just having a moment of that same feeling of connection, physical or not, can be what saves and/or helps that person."
Bfab94
no obligation...
"I’m not the best person to come to with these problems so when people around me do have that I always tell them the same thing, 'Want to go fishing? I’m bringing a grill and some charcoal.'"
2Agunsarearight
"We all get taken off guard, especially if you didn’t notice any changes in their behavior before. Often just a simple invite to hang out (no obligation) can be enough to remind somebody they aren’t alone and have a friend."
JakeFromFarmState1
“I understand”
"Lots of conflicting stuff here, because I’m seeing many suggest 'I understand' - but to me I hated hearing that. I always felt like 'no you don’t. You may know what it’s like to be in your own version of hell, but not mine.' For me, I think I always preferred those who said 'I want to try to understand' or just a simple 'love you' or 'want to hang out and not talk to each other at all and watch scrubs?'"
Iamdogfather
Simple
"I might not understand what you're going through, but I'm here for you and I love you."
tarkinlarson
I Love You GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphyWays to be there. Chapter One....
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
But we go on.
But the biggest letdowns are the ones we never see coming but must contend with.
Redditor Frequent-Pilot5243 asked:
"What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?"
No matter how much you prize a friendship, not all of them are for forever.
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
"A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant."
– Febreze4200
The Best Mate Who Quit
"My best mate of 20 years, said that he didn’t want to be my best man and just said he didn’t want to be my friend any more. Hurt like hell."
– Gavindasing
It's Okay To Let Go
"Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them."
"edit. to everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon."
– girlloss
Restarting The Process
"I have a really hard time with this one. Every friendship I've had in my adult life has only lasted a couple years tops. Rarely a falling out or anything, but just drifting apart or sh*t happens type deal. It's hard for me to make friends in the first place because I'm pretty shy, so having to regularly restart that process is really discouraging. Right now I don't really have any friends because I've just kinda given up trying."
– plebeian1523
The harsh reality of losing the people we love hits home for these Redditors.
Grandpa Time
"My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize."
– MrMunky24
Lost Opportunity
"Yeah, this hits home. I spent 90% of my childhood with my grandparents. I was at their house almost everyday. When I got into my teens and obviously found friends, discovered women, all that stuff and then I just stopped seeing them. They’re both gone now and they died with the memories of me as a child. Although they seen me sometimes while I was older, they didn’t know me because I didn’t give them the chance."
– Loud-Distance-1456
In Grief
"My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time."
– somethinggood19
These sobering facts were huge disappointments.
Truth About CPR
"This is coming from a firefighter:"
"If you have to perform CPR on them, it's most likely over for the patient."
"I'm not sure if I've made peace with it completely, but I've accepted it at least."
– Rukhnul
The After Effects
"I've taken CPR training twice in the past 10 years. The instructors were so completely different... The second one flat out told us 'you're giving them about a 15% chance of living, and even if they live, they will probably have some kind of severe trauma that will dramatically decrease their quality of life.' Wow..."
– DavidAg02
Despite Having Good Intentions...
"No one is coming to help."
– _meddlin_
That Train Has Left The Station
"I'm aging nonstop."
– insaight
Innocence Is Gone
"My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life."
– anonymoose_mrx
No matter what, life goes on with or without us.
The best that any of us can do while we're passengers on this giant spaceship is to take life as it comes and pick up the pieces the best we can when things don't pan out as we'd hoped.
Sometimes, it's about celebrating the small victories–like finally finding a store that has your shoe size.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I want an IQ of 180. But all the studying in the world won't get me there. Sadly... tell me about being brilliant!
Lost
The One Where Estelle Dies Episode 15 GIF by FriendsGiphy“Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It just lets you get lost in more remote places.' — Garrison Keillor"
No-Faithlessness5311
Mastery
"The smarter you get, the more you realise you don't know."
Crafty-Ambassador779
"I've noticed there's something weird with this, though. If someone hits a certain level of mastery in one area, they seem to think they can easily be an expert in all areas."
"As an example I used to be a professional carpenter that did work on mostly high end builds. The amount of Doctors and Engineers that were suddenly master plumbers, finish carpenters and electricians and 'knew' more than me after a few days of research was infuriating."
TheIowan
"facts and logic"
"They have no effect on dumb people's opinions."
theboomboy
"Persuasion (like teaching) is definitely a separate skill from intelligence. You can throw around 'facts and logic' all you want, but humans aren't robots. And what you/they consider factual and logical, may not be so."
ncnotebook
"I’ve found that people don’t like to be persuaded by logic and facts if they don’t have any logical facts to back their stance to begin with. They much rather go off hysteria and what they believe rather than what reasoning led them to that belief."
Vaxtin
Crushing
"Our school system (Australia) isn't built to deal with them. It crushes bright kids down to everyone else's level. The usual solution is just to give them extra work to do on top of the assigned work, when they finish that too fast. But to a kid, that's a punishment. In this way achieving beyond a certain accepted parameter is quietly discouraged."
theexteriorposterior
fools and fanatics
hocus pocus halloween GIFGiphy"They are full of doubt compared to people who are not smart."
F**k-Reddit-Mods69
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. -B. Russell"
Paddlesons
So brains don't automatically equal brilliance and happiness... Who knew?
I Know what I Know
Think Season 2 GIF by NBCGiphy"Being smart enough to know you're right while dealing with people too stupid to know they're wrong is soul crushing."
Stryker2279
"smartness"
"There's different levels of 'smartness' and different smart people go about life in different ways. But, I think universally young prodigies are typically isolated. They are at a level far above children their age, but are far younger than the people that match intellectually with (lacking life experience). Either way, a young prodigy can't connect with either group."
Firamaster
Potential
"They don't always find ways of living up to their potential."
Immediate_Aioli342
"To add to this, they're often told they should live up to their potential simply because it exists. The number of times myself and some of my current MSC colleagues have been told we are wasting our potential by not being physicians is soul crushing."
"And demeaning because it implies that pursuing anything other than the hardest, highest paid disciplines is a waste of you, regardless of what makes you happy. Truly sad to see smart people in careers or lives they hate because they did what other people told them they should do."
TinyBabyAlli
I should probably go back to therapy...
"Expectations. Never learning to study until it is too late. Being forced to learn outside of your age related interests. Being terrified of failure. Not being able to balance ambition and said fear of failure. Once again, expectations. My mother put so much pressure on me at such a young age I couldn't handle it. I have done well for myself as an adult, but will never be able to live up to those expectations set by her and others. I should probably go back to therapy."
Putty119
Levels
Praising John Goodman GIF by The Righteous GemstonesGiphy"There are different types of intelligence. Being good at physics doesn't mean that you should manage people."
oliverismyspiritdog
Well I'm glad to only have average level intelligence. Who needs the stress.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.