When you subject yourself to dating, you're going to meet a wide variety of people. Finding your turn ons and offs is learning process. At some point, a dating partner may do something so rude or annoying, that it becomes a trait that you'll red flag in other people for the rest of your life.
Redditor u/h8raide88 got to learn about other people's dating preferences when they asked, "What habit or characteristic on a first date is a deal breaker?"
10. They're a terrible listener
"Repeatedly interrupting me when I'm talking, especially when I'm answering a question they asked. It tells me they're not actually engaged in what I'm saying."
9. They're obsessed with credit scores
Giphy"I know a girl who asks every guy she goes on a date with what his credit score is. She wants to make sure they're financially stable. Also she's 23 and doesn't know how to pump gas."
8. Know it alls are a no
"Being a know it all. I had lunch with someone who called the table salt 'sodium chloride' and used the bread as a way to tell me everything he knew about complex carbohydrates (some of which wasn't even correct) and their connections to evolutionary theory. Just felt like he was compensating for something"
7. They get sloppy drunk
"Getting so drunk on the first date that you can't figure out Uber and I have to drive you home. No, you can't stay on my couch, I don't know you."
6. They're careless with your car
"Here is a great story, first date in college. I drive a truck and live in a city. So spots are tight. This spot is particularly tight. So I say, 'this is a tight spot so watch your door when you open it.' Girl 'are you telling me how to open my door?' Doesn't pay basic attention and slams the door into the other car."
5. Eyes need to be off the phone
"On their phone the whole time. If you can't disconnect for an hour or so to engage with me then it's not going to work."
4. They're just an all out mess
"I went on a date with a girl, this date was a disaster. She got food in her hair and all over the place, she wouldn't get off her phone, and she stabbed herself in the cheek with her fork because she wasn't paying attention. I've never seen her since"
3. When they get flirting tips online
"The amount of guys who think negging is a good flirting technique is ridiculous. Contrary to what you read on WikiHow, insulting a girl doesn't make her want to impress you, it just makes her realize you're a ****."
2. Catfishing is just bad
"Lying about their appearance. Very specific app example (guess which one). But you see their pictures, they look nice and then they are different in person. Whats the point"
1. You have to take a literal test to meet them
Giphy"I was once set up to go on a blind date with this girl. We were given each other's email addresses and so I hit her up, we exchanged a few pleasantries, then set up a date/time to finally meet. The day of, I get an email from her in the morning with an attachment. I open up the attachment and there is a questionnaire with like 25-30 questions on it. She requested I kindly fill out the questionnaire before we meet. I quickly reviewed the questions before sending her a reply saying that it's probably best we don't meet."
Social cues are hard to pick up on.
Everyone behaves differently, and we have our own unique ways of expressing ourselves. Still, human nature is human nature. When it comes to attraction and courtship, people have been expressing themselves in the same ways for thousand of years. Sometimes, attraction to another person is shown unconsciously like through body languages, or purposefully through learned behaviors.
Redditor u/rbyscrm was feeling a little confused about the rules of attraction, and decided to ask, "How do you tell if someone is attracted to you or just being very friendly?"
10. It depends on where you live
"Depends on where you live. Here in England, being anything other than cold and aloof is seen as basically throwing yourself at someone."
9. Look for how they act around other people
"If they act the exact same way with other people, you're out of luck."
8. Some people are just being nice
"I was once called into HR for allegedly flirting with an employee (not part of my own team). Her proof? I was always friendly, offered her milk to go with her coffee, and worst of all once at an after work, I bought a round of drinks for everyone (her included).
The head of HR was a bit puzzled about the whole situation, and asked her what would she then suggest we do to resolve the situation, and she requested that I would stop being friendly to her - and just leave her be.
This poor woman just could not accept that I was being friendly."
6. Listen to body language
"I've noticed women that have been interested in me, have started a random conversation with me, like asking advice, about something. If a women compliments you on something, could be your eyes, or your jacket, or pretty much anything, that might be a clue. Women play with hair, or adjust it more, making more than usual eye contact, also if you are sitting next to them, and their knees are pointing a bit towards you, that is a sign."
5. Delayed realizations happen
Giphy
"Usually the realization comes 10 years later when you are trying to fall asleep."
4. They'll make time for you
"Assuming the person is single or triflin'. You ask to see that person again in a different context and the negotiation for available time and date is quick and mutually complete, no 'just friends' overtone about it.
Thursday at 8? Not available. Not into you.
Thursday at 8? Not available but what about Friday at 9?"
2. Reddit holds the answers
"By reading someone's comment on Reddit about how they missed all the signs and then you realize that the same thing happened to you and now you lie there contemplating your life."
1. Dad was right about this
Giphy
"As my dear old dad used to say: 'Women who work for tips are NOT flirting with you'"
"As a woman who works for tips, I second this."
u/cruelcherry asks:
Bisexuals who have been in relationships with both genders: what are some noticeable differences between dating a man and a woman?The approach is a bit different for some
GiphyThere's actually a noticeable difference on how I approach the relationship. When I'm with men I like being taken care of, but I like being more dominant in with women, I'll do all the things I'd want a man to do for me.
Privacy with same sex is lessened
GiphyIt's a little weird on a date with a woman that you use the same bathroom. You don't get that moment to yourself and there's no privacy.
You know a lot more with the same sex
I keep seeing a reoccurring theme here. Girls think sex with girls is better, and guys think sex with guys is better. Possibly because you have the same anatomy and know what feels good?
When it comes to conflict...
In arguments alone: Women are explosive, but more pleasant in the day-to-day. Men tend to backslide into a quiet agony that never gets resolved.
Men are a slower flower
GiphyMore individual difference than gender difference.
But if there is one it's communication style. Men take a lot longer to open up. And I'd say most men are less thoughtful about many things (like keeping track of important things happening in your life and giving support through them) although my personal experience there with the only man I've seriously dated has been stellar.
The assumptions
How it's received by the general public. When I'm out one on one with a man, it's second nature to assume he is my significant other in situations such as having a dinner date or a weekend away at a hotel. That's not the case when I'm with a woman. In particular, my current girlfriend looks somewhat similar to me. We're both petite blondes. When we are out together, the first assumption is that we're sisters or best friends. We have to make a point to explain that we're together. It doesn't bother me, as most people genuinely just don't know and assume what's second nature to them. It's just an observation.
The added bro vibe
The biggest difference for me, as a guy, Is that there is a different level of friendship with a guy than a girl. With my current bf, it's like I'm hanging out with my best bro, at the same time as spending time with the person I love. We do everything together and I never really want time away.
My last ex, a girl, was great to spend time with, but there was a level of understanding and friendship that wasn't there purely because she was a girl. She could never understand certain things that a guy just gets. That shared understanding of experience that guys have. I'm sure girls have the same thing with other girls.
That was longer than I expected, but that's the biggest difference I have.
Certain things are not as hard
GiphyOne of them is WAY more comfortable buying tampons than the other.
The way they take Bisexuality is different
I've only dated gay guys and straight girls. For me the biggest difference has been that girls have in general been a lot more understanding of my sexuality and the guys have been a lot more biphobic/dismissive about it
When personality is everything
Honestly for me, I tend to be attracted to a similar type of personality regardless of gender, and that includes a lack of interest in conforming to gender roles, so in terms of internal relationship dynamics there hasn't been an easy-to-parse difference my ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends along gender lines.
Lesbian bed death
GiphySex. Was constantly being pursued to have sex while dating a man. Now sex is rarely had. If at all.
One was easier to get over
with women, i always get emotional,..in a complete mess after breaking up. but men, i got over them..before the break up.
women--i think about them often when not together.
men--we were always doing activities together.
The wreckage
Women will ruin you emotionally, but men will disappoint you profoundly.
Battle of the crazies
GiphyEveryone's giving normal scenarios, so I wanna bring up worst case. The 'crazy guy' is genuinely f****** insane, while the 'crazy girl' is a funny kind of insane. Like, craziest guy was a guy who gave me a necklace that he put his blood on to protect me from the secret powers of his alternate personality, and still tries to low key stalk me on social media, while the craziest girl is probably a tie between the super religious girl who cried when I ate meat and the ultra communist who told me she loved me within like an hour.
big differences
his is from personal experience, so it could be personalities more than gender.
1- Carrying the emotional weight and mental load of the relationship. With women, it's more balanced. With men the expectation fell to me.
2-Additionally, maintaining a household is more balanced with women. With a man, there are stereotypical gender-role expectations.