People are crazy on dates.
The words I have heard uttered could send shivers down a dead person's spine.
Which is so mind-boggling.
Shouldn't we be putting our best foot forward?
Or maybe it's best when they just give you the whole crazy upfront to weed people out.
Is there such a thing as being too comfortable too soon anymore?
Redditor batmanstitty asked:
"What’s the worst thing a person has said to you while on a date?"
I once had a guy tell me he owned me.
Because of a Cosmo and a steak.
It wasn't even the temp I wanted.
You Know
Brits GIF by BRIT AwardsGiphy"'I don't mind that you're... you know.' Waves hand vaguely at my body."
StrangersWithAndi
Flawed
"'I can tell you are an only child because you have major personality flaws.'"
OliveVizsla
"OH MAN. My parents had just the 1 kid. But to some ppl, I guess that marks me as some kind of socially demented freak. I don't think I'd be wrong in saying that is the very start of the very social problem they're talking about--and those vain pieces of trash are welcome to stay out of my orbit."
myflippinggoodness
Just 2?
"Wistfully after 2 wines... 'God, you are so amazing, such a shame you look like that.'"
bonjelascott
"I don't understand why people go on dates with people they aren't physically attracted to. Hell I don't understand why anyone stays in a relationship with someone they aren't physically attracted to."
juukkkkekr
"Blind dates, tinder dates where they don’t look like their pictures, dates where you love the personality so much that you assume over time you won’t care about physical attraction anymore."
S7WW3X
Over
"We had a fun night having a personal date and then we pull up to his house for his birthday party, where I’m about to meet his family for the first time. He turns to me and says, 'Oh btw my parents don’t like Mexicans.' I am Mexican."
"I was like, What do you want me to do with that information? He was like, just be yourself. I was like, no sh*t. I can’t be anyone else?? It was wild. They were polite but patronizing AF. Needless to say, that ended quick."
LosNava
"Been there before. Her dad looked at me like I was gonna rob the place. Didn’t last long, turns out it was just a rebound thing."
tuotone75
Maybe after dinner...
Bye Bye Peace GIF by Cappa Video ProductionsGiphy"'So, aren't you going to invite me to your place? I bought you lunch. You kind of owe me.' from a guy I met ONCE and had breath so bad I am surprised it didn't melt the fork."
randommusicfan
There is no lunch that requires payment after. Bye.
Lies
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy“You know that cancer is a hoax perpetuated by big pharma and the government preying on the uneducated, right!?!?' He says to me, a cancer survivor who’s life was f**king derailed by cancer."
AccomplishedCow9133
No big deal...
"First date from a dating app. I could tell he was maybe a touch too desperate based on the texts we exchanged. However, he was also whip-smart and almost finished with grad school, so I still agreed to go out. We didn’t have a spark, which I noticed immediately. On the other hand, he was oblivious to it. No big deal. Then, he suggests a walk after dinner. I agree like an idiot."
"On that walk he proceeds to tell me that his ex girlfriend cheated on him, that he thinks he’ll always love her, even though she cheated on him with his best friend, and she gave him an STD. And the worst thing I ever heard on a date was, 'But don’t worry- it’s one of the ones that clears up on its own.' NOPE."
thedivinemissemm
Trash Talk
"Not exactly a date, but at a dance when I was a teenager, I sat down for a breather after I'd been dancing for a long time. Right then a slow song started, and a couple girls came up, one of them introduced me to her friend and asked me to dance with her because nobody had asked her to dance yet."
"I felt really bad for her and said heck yeah, everybody deserves to dance. She spent the whole time talking about how I'm such a piece of garbage for sitting down when there are girls like her who haven't been asked to dance. I kept trying to change the subject, she just ignored me and kept trash talking me, so I walked away mid-dance."
ParkityParkPark
Wow, romance certainly as easy as they make it look in the movies!
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
First dates can be a lot of pressure. You barely know the person you’re going out with, and maybe you’ve talked a bit in person, but this is the first time you’re going to be with them one-on-one for an extended period of time.
The activity can make or break a first date.
Sometimes, a relationship that could’ve been really special never even starts because the first date was bad.
I like to walk around New York City on dates, and duck into whatever store or restaurant looks interesting. It’s a good way to get to do something you’ve always wanted to but never had a chance to (on one of my first dates, walking around the city led us to get our fortunes told), and it’s a great way to get to know the other person.
The women of Reddit have their own ideas on what an ideal first date would be, and they’re ready to share!
It all started when Redditor PhantomHydraPH asked:
“Girls of Reddit, what would be your ideal first date?”
The Supernatural Treatment
"Beer followed by ghost hunting and then ending the date at 8am over crappy diner breakfast."
– SeattleCoffeeRoast
Just Keep Moving
"Early on we had what my wife refers to as the epic date. Started with lunch, then a movie, then rock climbing, then dinner, then swing dancing, then back to her place. Was like 12 hours total. Figured anyone that could up with me that much was a keeper."
– Dyolf_Knip
The Great Escape
"A guy actually took me to do an escape room on the first date. It was actually pretty cool because not only was it an activity where we had something to focus on/break the ice, but was able to gauge how we would solve problems together right off the bat. Didn't work out with the guy past the second date but I always thought as far as first dates go it was a pretty good idea!"
"Bonus: weren't able to have our phones in the escape room so no distractions. Also they take a picture of your escape room group after so if the relationship worked out you have a cute pic from your first date :)"
– Successful-Income-22
""If we don't succeed, we'll have to be TOGETHER FOREVER!!!""
– ImpracticallySharp
Time For A Getaway
"Something casual that doesn’t have a big time commitment. Drinks, coffee, ice cream, or lunch/dinner"
– Appropriate_Tea9048
"I took my now girlfriend to a rooftop bar for drinks and apps. Spent the entire night talking. It was super chill and casual , it didn't feel like a date."
– Zomb1stuv
"Hey so - yeah, that worked for me. We did like a 7 or 8:00 coffee and dessert chill get together at a place that I knew of that well, had really good both. That was my last ever 2nd date, been together 12 years now."
"Its all upsides as far as I'm concerned: No pressure of a full dinner or anything, less formal, also some people are self conscious about what they order or eat in front of another person so it kind of eliminates that anxiety. The place itself is a conversation catalyst - if you pick someplace kind of neat, notice things about it, talk about what you like and don't like. If you've never been there before, "hey check this out" comes up a lot, or "hey, I've been here before and this one thing was *amazing* or "I've been wanting to try this since last time I was here" and all that."
"I should preface by saying that wasn't our FIRST first date, our first one was I met up with two and two of her friends someplace. First off, I left a good impression by not being surprised or mad she brought friends. We met online. You don't know anything about me but what I've told you, I totally get that you don't want to meet a guy alone for the first time. I managed to keep the whole both entertained for a while before it was time to head out."
"Lets keep this rolling: 2nd date should be something fun, not necessarily evening. For example every Saturday in the summer our town has a Riverfront Market with tons of vendor booths, food trucks, its pet friendly, farmers market stuff, live music and all that. Great place to just walk around and browse, grab a coffee or a pretzel, and just see what's going on. You still have something to *do* together so you're less likely to stall and feel on the spot, and you can get a feel for their interests and personality walking around in a place like that. See what they comment on or show interest in, and they can do the same. Its even better if you run into people you know."
– sohcgt96
Be Seen
"Somewhere public, but not crowded or organized. Like a fair or a festival where we can just walk around and chat and maybe go on a ride or play some games. I like rollercoasters so if you are close to an amusement park of some kind that'd be nice. It's going to differ for each woman though, I'm more wild and fun-loving!"
– TheTurbulentTeacher
"Somewhere public, but not crowded or organized"
"So not an MLM recruiting seminar. Got it."
– ncconch
Healthy Competition
"Putt putt! I think some type of activity with a little competition is a fun way to break the ice. Putt putt requires some skill but a lot is also luck so anyone can do it."
– summoe
"That sounds fun. I enjoy games."
– OriginalDarkDagger
"Something mildly competitive but mostly just fun, like going to an arcade, or one of those axe/knife throwing places, bowling or something like that. Then drinks and a bite. But really, if someone actually thought out ahead of time a plan to take me anywhere and then did it I’d be psyched no matter what we did."
– petrichor-punk
Investigation
"On the first date, I do a identification check, résumé check, credit check, diploma/certification check, and a charge for my time. It’s crazy out there and those platforms lie."
– Likeitisouthere
...HUH?!
"Whatever you do, don't take a girl on a "mystery surpise date!" that ends up being a nude beach, and then ask her to film you nakedly frolicking in the sea. This should not be followed up by a lunch at Panda Express where you give her very detailed stories of your (limited but bizarre) sexual encounters. Also, do not drag her to a Best Buy store after lunch so you can watch free TV on the displays."
"(I never again allowed a guy to pick me up for a date 👀)"
– fancifulsnails
"Oh my god, I am laughing but crying at the same time because yeah, how about NO! Does NO! work for you?"
"Also, always have your own transportation for a date in case you need to leave for reasons."
– eddyathome
Do Something
"Yea bowling, museum, then some food and talking is the way. As I have a bit of a hard time opening up with people, when it's just sitting across from each other the whole time. Need a bit of an activity, to loosen things up a bit. Also interesting to see if they are a sore loser, or willing to share techniques on how to do something. Just small ways, to see more about the person's character. As opposed to eating first and wondering if the other person, is putting on a front for you or not."
– LurkingAintEazy
"I agree with this. It should be casually competitive and random. Axe throwing would be fun."
– Burrito_Loyalist
Just One Date
"Drinks and a chat in a random pub, where we’ll play pool and I will demonstrate how cool and breezy I am and then to a gig where I will proceed to show you how uncool I actually am and then we fall in love so I never have to go on a first date again"
– NinetysRoyalty
Simple Works Too
"Married lady here, my first date with my now-husband was going to see a movie we both knew would be kinda bad, then grabbing drinks and a quick bite at a casual restaurant across the street."
"First dates don't have to be fancy, you don't need to pull out all these stops to woo the lady or ~sweep her off her feet~, you just have to be good company. It's all about the connection, not how much you spend or how romantic you make it."
"Also, just a bit of advice, a first date should always always always be in public, with other people around. Not a hangout at your place, and not a walk in the woods."
– VisualCelery
Stop And Smell The Roses
"Botanical garden!"
– yuzuandgin
"I’m liking this one. I’m convinced a botanical garden would force everyone to focus on the plants, weather, surroundings, etc. And in my experience, everyone’s living this hectic go-go lifestyle that it’s really lovely to see someone stop and admire plants, their leaves, etc. I’ve gone to a few botanical gardens, and the amount of times I’ve gotten caught up in smelling a flower or comparing my hand to the size of a humongous leaf, it’s fun! Also, one of the most attractive men I ever met would really stop in his tracks to admire the skyline and his surroundings, and his responses were genuine. Caught me off guard..."
– JminusRomeo
"I also like this. I love taking pictures of nature walking alone at a leisurely pace. If I found someone who also enjoyed this, that'd be more fun. Maybe they'd suggest a photo I would have thought of. They'd probably be more relaxed in general as a person. It also means talking about nature. People who enjoy nature are usually pretty cool."
– eddyathome
Read, Read, Read!
“Did this once with an ex. Went to a bookstore, looked around at the books and talked about what we had read etc, then we went and had a drink at a nearby bar. Then, each of us briefly got up from the table went back to the bookstore and got a book for the other person that we thought they would like. And then we discussed why we thought they would like the book over those drinks. It was really fun.”
– WhoIsYerWan
“This is good because it shows the other person you actually listened to them and thought about them. Also, books.”
– eddyathome
“Also interchangeable with coffee if drinks are not an option.”
– WhoIsYerWan
“Two bookworms' shared dream eh?”
– youraveragemasochist
Books and coffee? Sign me up!
Do you have an ideas to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Dating is never easy, and yet, most still do it. But we have to go through a lot of frogs to find our prince or princess.
Dating is also different for everyone. Sometimes, you meet a person you automatically feel a connection with, you go out, and by the end of the night, you know you found your soulmate. Other times, the person does or says something that makes you think, Nope!
Unfortunately, the latter seems to happen more often than not. Redditors certainly agree, as they all gathered to share their stories of first date events or behaviors that were instant deal breakers.
It all started when Redditor 8vv0 asked:
“What’s an automatic deal-breaker on a first date?”
Server Doesn't Mean Servant
"The way someone acts toward servers can tell you a lot about who they really are. I had a boss who insisted on interviewing me at a restaurant and explained that reasoning to me after giving me the offer. As someone who served for years I can tell you he was correct."
– Shiba_Ichigo
"I once went on a blind-ish date and literally all she talked about was the show “sex and the city”. For an hour. Only stopping to berate the waitress over nothing."
"It was bizarre, and kind of fascinating. At a certain point I thought I was on one of those prank tv shows that were popular at the time."
– EarthDoomProphecy
It's All About Me
"Showing no/barely any interest in me personally. Only talking about themselves and not showing interest when I tell about myself."
– ForgetMeNot01
"100%. When you try to join the 'conversation' & they somehow immediately find a way to use what you say to direct it right back to themselves."
– CrumbledTheCookies
Gross!
"A dude once took his socks off while we watched a movie and started using his fingernails to dig stuff out from under his toenails."
"I was immediately out."
– kittermcgee
"Did he at least invite you to join in?? No? Outrageous!"
– invaderjif
"Yeah, that's third date shit."
– TheGuv69
Be Who You Are
"When they're clearly 20 years older than the pictures they used on the dating app"
– mulans_goat
"That happened to me on one of the very first dates I went on with someone I met online abt 10 years ago. Back then, I didn’t realize that if a dude has one grainy picture of his face and that’s it, he’s hiding something, lol."
"Dude was a cop (bleh), 50+ lbs heavier than his pic and balding, and dumb as fuck. You’re fat and bald, own it dude, don’t pretend to be you from 10 years ago, lol. As soon as he stood up, I thought oh hell no."
"Date was awkward af but dude thought it went so well he could ask for a second one. Nah, bro."
– PistolPetunia
Be There Or Be Square
"Not showing up"
– FastTrack777
"Look at you with your impossible standards."
– Shurdus
"I just imagine some poor guy sitting at a table alone, finishing his meal completely unbothered."
"After paying his check, he looks stone-faced at the vacant chair across from him, and goes off on am 'I don't think this is going to work out' speech."
– SEND_ME_SOCK_PICS
Don't Tell Me What To Eat!
"Choosing my food for me"
– raven_widow
"YES! The only first date I even walked out of was the guy who insisted on ordering for me and refused to believe I don't like avocados (yes, I'm odd, I know!)."
"I was so stunned that I just sat there until the food came, listening to to him talk, then as soon as he insisted I try the food I was not interested in, I left enough cash to cover the check and walked out."
"Edited To Add - I have found my people here! Before this thread I thought I was the only one who didn't like avocados!"
– CreampuffOfLove
"I remember when I was a teen people used to say that the guy should choose the food for the girl, I always thought that was weird af"
– justfantasea19
You Must Be Single
"A wedding ring"
– justanotheruser1788
"I was talking with this woman who was really up-front about wanting to go out for dinner and dancing with me, but she had a wedding ring. I told her that I have a firm policy against dating married women."
"'But I'm your wife,' she said."
"'No exceptions'."
– Philip_Anderer
Nothing's Ruder Than This
"If we’re sharing loaded nachos, and they specifically take all the ones with meat and cheese and stuff, leaving you with just chips. I mean justchips."
"Restaurants should have a rule about that."
– Bing_Bong_the_Archer
Ignorance Upon Ignorance
"He completely out of the blue told me he didn’t believe in birth control"
– pnwpuget
"Went on a first date with a girl that said she couldn't take birth control due to a hormone imbalance and she was allergic to latex. I asked her how she stayed safe and she said 'I'm just really careful'."
"Nope."
– archaelleon
"Good Lord, I would've looked like the Road Runner cartoon where he just blasts through a mountain or something and all you see is the silhouette."
– NotMyRealName814
Four's A Crowd
"Well about a month ago I made plans to meet up for a date with this girl that I was really getting along with."
"Then AFTER the plans were made she calls me and says 'Oh yeah, I should probably tell you that I'm engaged and my fiancee will be joining us... but it's alright, we have an open relationship and he's bringing his girlfriend too'."
– Bluevettes
I’ve never realized how lucky I was to not have any first date horror stories!
Dating is hard and they say that you often find the person you're meant to be with when you stop looking. But for many people, that's not really an option, especially if they live somewhere like outside a major urban center, where the dating pool is far more limited.
Navigating dating life can be tiring, too — especially when your date does things that really irk you or turn you off.
Everyone has different things that bother them of course!
People shared their opinions with us after Redditor itssblu asked the online community:
"What is the biggest turn-off on a first date?"
"She just wouldn't take no for an answer."
"Had a girl try to convince me to drink alcohol, even though I repeatedly told her I don't drink when I'm driving. She just wouldn't take no for an answer. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a complete disregard of clearly communicated boundaries."
CherryWorm
Sorry you had to deal with that. She absolutely should have respected your boundaries.
"An inability..."
"An inability to hold a meaningful conversation."
SengokuSamurai97
This is a big one, but all conversations begin with small talk and work their way from there. If they can't, it's likely not worth it.
"It was going well..."
"I went on a date about a year ago. It was going well until she started boasting about all the celebrities she'd slept with. I'm not a prude, but it's a weird thing to tell someone you've just met. Was kind of an instant turn off to be honest."
_bad_at_this
Uhhh... definitely not appropriate first date chatter!
"If I'm carrying..."
"People who don't elaborate or ask follow up questions in conversation. If I'm carrying the conversation the whole time there ain't gonna be a second date."
ImmediateEconomy49
Yeah, this can be very tiring. Conversations are a two-way street.
"She seemed to think it was funny..."
""Don't worry about using a condom tonight. I'm already pregnant."
"True story, actually. She seemed to think it was funny... I didn't."
[deleted]
Run away.
Run far, far away.
"Stop."
"A guy who keeps going on about "you're not like other girls" or "most girls are [negative quality] but you're [positive quality]", or "you're so funny/smart/whatever for a girl." In the same vein, the guys that tell you "you're so much prettier/smarter/whatever than her/your friends/random person/my ex."
"Stop. If you think this is flattering it's not. I hear this and my vagina immediately hibernates."
Whapwhaap
That's a very interesting way of putting it but we get it!
"Your cellphone."
"Your cellphone. We are on a date, not the people who you're texting."
DependentLoad683
This is a big one. Stay in the moment! Be with your date! This is simple ettiquette.
"If we are..."
"If we are at a restaurant, being rude to the wait staff."
[deleted]
You can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat service workers.
"Looking at every single thing..."
"Looking at every single thing through a negative lens. It's okay to be positive sometimes."
BurghFinsFan
That's what you think!
Just joking.
Don't be a Debbie Downer. It's not cute.
"This one is very specific..."
"This one is very specific to me, and is stated in any dating profile I create, but smoking. I tried dating a girl that smoked, but the smell/taste lingers, so I don't even try to date smokers anymore. If they show up, and end up going outside for a smoke, dates over."
Draciolus
Smoking doesn't bother everyone but those who dislike it really, really, do, and for good reason.
Chances are you've been on a bad first date yourself. You remember how it made you feel, don't you? Hopefully you walked out immediately. And if you didn't, that's okay, too.
For those of you unsure about dating ettiquette, take note!
Have some opinions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
It's hard out there if you're trying to date.
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge... none of these things have helped people connect as much as they'd like to—and countless people have shared that swiping, swiping, swiping on these apps has been detrimental to their mental health—though there are of course many success stories.
Since dating is so hard, it stands to reason that people would want to poke fun at it. We laugh so we don't cry, as people shared with us after Redditor DOMINOES asked the online community,
"What is the best way to respond to 'Is this a date?'?"
"I once said..."
"I once said 'it’s a business proposal.' We didn’t date for long."
ok_koreal
Hopefully her sense of humor at least jived with yours.
"Yes, Laura..."
"Yes Laura, we've been married for 1.5 years, it's safe to say we're dating."
Heyson86
To quote Casually Explained, "Yeah you really can't be too sure, it might be dark in the room and she can't see you properly, maybe she's from Canada and just being polite."
"One minute..."
"“One minute, I have to ask Reddit what they think."
EitherFunny9570
10/10 reply.
But the answer is always "divorce."
"No..."
"No, this is a robbery,” then proceed to rob."
wrightausername
"No, this is Patrick!"
The only way to respond to that.
"I don't know."
"I don't know. Let me check the ISO 8601 documentaton."
hedrone1
This is a next-level reference. Well done.
"Do you want..."
"Do you want it to be one?"
quiadetvincent
The obvious answer. Be sure that your answer is, "Okay, it's a date" if the other person wants it to be one.
Otherwise, just say no.
"Always..."
"Always answer an uncomfortable question with an equal or more uncomfortable question."
[deleted]
This sounds like the beginnings of a war.
I'm here for it.
"Everything's..."
"Everything's a date. That's how calendars work."
Shadowcat1606
Oh, dear. You're a total smart-aleck, aren't you?
"I think..."
"I think it's a prune, actually."
Aurelianshitelist
Narrator: It was a fig.
"I actually..."
"I actually had this happen once. I said, “Why, yes it is.” Anyways, we’ve been married 5 years now."
sweetteaj
Now this is the happy ending we like to read about! Your boldness paid off.
If you're having trouble putting yourself out there, perhaps some humor could break the ice. And if it's all imploding, you have nothing to lose by pulling any of these snarky responses out of your back pocket.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!