Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
And their humor is changed forever.
This isn't confirmed, but it would appear that all the dads have a secret weekly meeting where the latest puns are exchanged and exercises in awkward timing are practiced.
A mighty craft is honed, and he can fill the role he was meant to: the colossus of cringe, the pun producer, he who instills the sigh.
And yet, for all the cringing and the facepalming, we love to say the very same jokes. There is just something about that quaint stupidity.
BennuH asked, "What's the best 'dad joke' you know?"
Regional LawsÂ
"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"
"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"
"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"
For the Face Plant Image Â
"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"
"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- hatsnatcher23
"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- sxeoompaloompa
A Mammal of Few WordsÂ
"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"
"Bison" -- TatooineLight
"LOL" -- BennuH
"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- Type10Civilization
Baggage
"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"
"I never knew my real ladder" -- DavosLostFingers
"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- WaldhornNate
Woah Woah Woah, We're in PublicÂ
"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"
"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"
"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- mcnoobs_
"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- Madanax
Not WrongÂ
"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter."
Watch the News Before Saying This OneÂ
"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"
"It's okay, they eventually woke up."
"I cringe every time." -- unicorndreamz94
"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- Aubear11885
Got a Million of Em
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."
"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."
"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."
"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."
G-Pa With the Physics HumorÂ
"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"
"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"
"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- ConceptUpset4681
"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- VaultBoy9
A Surprising Amount of Elevator HumorÂ
"I have a joke about elevators."
"It works on so many levels......." -- M0ntgomatron
"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"
"It went all the way to the top." -- RandomName222222222
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Parents lie to their kids constantly - whether it's a purposefully malicious lie or "just messing around" it's a think that happens in almost every family.
Regular readers will know my family had me convinced that I was the "Moon Princess" until I was well older than I'd like to admit. They told me that the moon followed me around because it loved me, so I spent most of my childhood talking to the moon reassuringly, like it was my space-puppy.
A good laugh is hard to find, especially these days. To make someone laugh is the best way to break the ice and make them trust us, like us, and maybe even love us if we're lucky. Yes, 'Dad' jokes make us groan and roll our eyes, but they can also challenge our brains with their wit, wordplay, and punny-ness. Let's be honest, NSFW jokes are good, but Dad jokes are G-rate!
Redditor u/glitterywings asks:
What G-rated joke always cracks you up?
