Reddit user Mission_Ambitious asked:
"Redditors that grew up/live in the city, what’s something every country kid should know?"
So to prevent all you country folk from getting scammed, murdered, or experiencing the horrors of "the empty subway car"—here's a handy little list of things you should know if you're going to spend time in a big city.
Learn it. Love it. Live it.
DO NOT GO IN THE EMPTY CAR.
Look Like You Know
"If you look like you know where you're going, you're less likely to be bothered."
- rectoplasmus
"Also a lot less likely to be robbed. Walk with intent"
- cheeseburgerwaffles
"Best advice in here. I never smile or anything in public either."
"Look like you know where you’re going and look pissed off and won’t no one talk to you or give a second look. Wander around smiling and aimless you’ll be a target."
- koolaidistheshit
GiphyThe Liquor Scam
"Sidewalks are for walking. If you have to stop to check your phone to make sure you’re going the right way, step to the side."
"Also — if someone bumps into you with a bag full of liquor and drops it, it’s a scam. Keep walking — no matter what they say. The bottles are either empty or already broken."
"Dude bumps into you, drops the bag, makes a scene, and says you owe him money."
"It happened to me three times — twice with the same guy in the same week. Just kept walking every time. They’ll yell and scream but they’re not gonna run you down if there are people around."
"Plus, everyone else knows it’s the oldest scam out there."
- guiltyofnothing
GiphyEscalator Etiquette
"If you're taking the escalators, especially in or out of a train station, and plan on standing instead of walking, stand to the right."
"If you need to rush to your train, the left side of the escalators should be left clear for you to walk on."
- Court_Vision
"Also, for the love of God, when you get to the end of the escalator and need to figure out where to go GET THE F*CK OUT OF THE WAY!"
"People behind you are still moving via the mechanical stairs. They don't stop just cause you don't know which way to go."
"This goes for all people not just those from the country."
- pshwsh
"And for the love of all things, if you are standing on a narrow escalator and a train is coming, even if it is not YOUR train, start f*cking moving!"
"The number of times I've missed a train because some able-bodied idiots wanted to treat the escalator like a f*cking amusement park ride..."
- Ultraviolet_Spacecat
GiphyThe Empty Car
"If the subway train rolls up and has an empty car, DO NOT GET ON THAT SUBWAY CAR."
"It's not empty for maintenance reasons, I promise."
- decitertiember
"I lived in NYC and commuted on the subway for 3 years so should've known better when I visited and got on the emptiest car of a train of full cars."
"The second I got on I look right and see everyone huddled together, I look left and see a dude alone on the seats picking at his nasty ass feet. Then the smell hit me like a brick wall and the doors shut behind me."
"It was among the top 10 worst things I've ever smelled."
- cheeseburgerwaffles
"When covid struck and I was still working in a far uptown ICU in Manhattan - most of the subway cars were empty at 7am for the first time I'd ever seen. I quickly got used to boarding empty subway cars and paid it no attention, had more than enough on my mind already."
"Welp April 2020 I was reading a book minding my own business, but I had not looked around the car when I boarded the train. I got that weird 'someone is looking at me' feeling and decided to take a glance around."
"Quickly realized a naked man was blowing another naked man - both staring at me, smoking a pipe, but also not stopping the oral session."
"It was an express train too, so I got stuck in the same car for 10 minutes or so. Hopped out at the next stop and had a little laugh about it."
- caitypurry
GiphyHi!
"Don't start conversations with strangers, especially if they have headphones on. You don't need to say hi to people all the time."
- Revolutionary-Yak-47
"Saying 'Hello' to everyone you pass is a small town tradition that does not translate to city life. Stop it!"
- Chucks_u_Farley
"This is consistently the thing I hear from people from rural areas that was actual culture shock. In small towns you say hi to everyone you cross."
"Here, you try your best to look mean, don't talk to anyone, and for your own health, don't make eye-contact with crazies on the subway."
"Anyone I met from rural areas had already been in the city for a while so I never saw it first hand, but have heard stories of people trying to say hello to everyone and being completely overwhelmed by the number of people. Also being dejected because they were largely ignored."
- the_loneliest_noodle
"This. People in big cities value whatever time we have to ourselves. It's polite to mind your own business."
"That said, most people are happy to help if you genuinely need directions or something."
- Respect4All_512
GiphyManners Don't Matter
"Learn how to say 'f*ck off' in the most menacing voice you have, to anyone, without shame or fear. Even if 'be polite' was drilled into you from childhood."
"Trust me, this one skill can save a lot of hassles."
- Quick_Masterpiece_58
"Good manners are not more important than your safety."
- payattention007
"Oh man. As a Texan this one hurts my soul."
"I know I should ignore panhandlers and methheads and scammers and other similar people, but it hurts."
"I was taught to be polite to everyone, and having a pleasant conversation with some random stranger is a common occurrence."
- ChipTheOcelot
"If it helps your sensibilities, I've found that a firm 'no, thank you' usually works just as well."
"You have to get the tone just right, though – and, most importantly, don't ever break stride."
- konay
"Ah yep that attitude helped me out in Rome."
"A group of guys (10+) swarmed my wife and I near a tourist spot, and I made a bit of a scene and got aggressive in telling them to f*ck off. They did once they realized we were attracting attention."
- Zip_Silver
GiphyMind Your Business
"Mind your own business."
"Definitely don’t look at, make eye contact with , laugh at (I had an out-of-towner do this), point at, or otherwise acknowledge anyone who is acting crazy, loud or aggressive. Just mind your own business."
- _etcetera_etcetera
"I got into a fight with my partner about this!"
"Some guys were smoking something on the sidewalk and he turned to stare. The guy threatened to fight him."
"I told him he can’t do that / you can’t stare at people in the city, especially doing something borderline illegal, or we’re going to end up in some dumb fight or some nonsense."
"His small city southern ass did not understand this."
- Adeline299
GiphyGo Before You Go
"Make sure to use the restroom before you leave (home, work, the restaurant, etc)."
"Not many places have a free to use restroom. Sometimes they force you to buy something and public restrooms are usually a place you want to avoid."
- octopusfairy
"Oh my god yes, thiiiiisssss!!!"
"As someone with a small bladder who pees frequently, being in the city can be a real pain. Convenience stores are hardly anywhere and if there is one, the restroom isn’t public!"
"I have bought so many things just to be able to relieve myself. I have to keep 'pee money' on me!"
- I_Did_The_Thing
GiphyTreat Walking Like Driving
"Your casual stroll through the city is my commute."
"Imagine if there were cars on your crowded highways just casually wandering between lanes going under the speed limit and randomly stopping to take a picture of something. It would drive you nuts!"
"That's our reality when you walk in the middle of the sidewalk, or just dead stop to check something. Just like driving, step to the side of the sidewalk if you need to stop/slow down."
- robxburninator
"Basically if a New Yorker says 'Hey I’m walking here!!!' It’s not some haha stereotype moment. Dude actually has a point."
- deaf_musiclover
GiphyGun Culture
"I am never going to see guns the same way you do."
"I can't count on my fingers and toes the amount of classmates I had who died of gun violence before or after our graduation years."
"Seeing people with guns walking around the neighborhood isn't a securing feeling. Having bullet holes in your living room walls is not reassuring."
"Having bullets wiz past your head as you stroll around a busy shopping area isn't fun. There is no safety in seeing them."
"Experiencing all these things does NOT make me want one for my safety. Trying to explain this to my roommates who grew up in rural areas is like talking to a wall."
"Though I'm sure it's the same for them. They grew up playing with guns, they always had them around, see them on people's hips, rarely if ever met anyone to die of senseless gun violence so its null for them."
"They just can't understand the wildly different roles guns played in our cultures."
- BradypusGuts
GiphyWalk It Out
"Living in the city can be healthier insofar as you walk a lot."
"Even if you take the train or bus, you have to walk to the station from your place, in all kinds of weather. Up and down stairs. Sometimes you have a destination really far from any station."
"In the suburbs/countryside, people often walk about 50 feet to their cars no matter what their destination."
"I think this is why people are so overweight these days."
- soulcaptain
New York City Walking GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyA Time Change
"Just because it only takes a few minutes to go a few miles down a country road, doesn't mean it only takes a few minutes to go a few miles in a city/surrounding metro area."
"Always check Google maps or Waze and then add extra time for travel if you're driving, especially during rush hour and if there's a huge event."
"It's better to leave a little early and wait a bit than to stress about being late."
- [reddit]
Driving Music Video GIF by Maren MorrisGiphyLunch On The Steps
"I see tourists eating their lunch in Downtown Portland at the Pioneer Courthouse Square- sitting on concrete blocks and the brick stairs."
"Little do they know, those are all absolutely covered in bum piss and sh*t."
"Don't EVER touch a surface in the city without using some sort of hand sanitizer or washing your hands- it absolutely blows my mind that people find it so appetizing, yet there is vomit literally feet from them."
- westcoastpizzarat
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1GiphyIf You Have To Drive
"If you have to drive, you basically need to learn how to be a bully on the road."
"You're going to have to cut people off as nobody is going to give you room to lane change. Learn to have 360-degree vision, because people will do the same to you."
"Parking sucks; learn to read the signs so you know when and where you can actually park, or if the spot is metered. Expect to park a few blocks from your destination."
"Don't keep anything of value visible in your car, this gives criminals incentive to break in and steal it."
"Watch out on major roadways during peak traffic, as homeless people will tend to flock on the road and panhandle."
"Always pay attention at traffic lights, and be prepared to put your foot on the gas as soon as the light turns green, otherwise, horns start blaring."
- draiman
Mad Max GIFGiphyCity People
"I grew up in a pretty integrated neighborhood where at least a third of my neighbors were different races than me."
"Most of my relatives who lived in more rural and suburban areas had a hard time understanding that I felt like I had a lot more in common with the black kid who lived next door to me than I ever had with them."
"I figure that deep down most people from cities, regardless of race, feel the same way. And we carry that around forever."
- PunchBeard
Animated GIFGiphyCountry Roads
"Coming from someone who has spent a good amount of his life living in both the city and the country, learning the road system is definitely important."
"Usually living out in the country, you’ll probably only rely on one major highway that takes you to and from town."
"In the city though, it’s definitely a must to know the main highways, exits, and interstates, and important landmarks they lead to."
- bryce_crane
Road Trip Highway GIF by VICE DOES AMERICAGiphyLocks Are A Thing For A Reason
"LOCK YOUR DOORS! All of them."
"You bring your car into the city, lock your doors. You move into the city to try out the life. Lock your house."
"I knew a couple that lived in Alabama their entire life and their truck got stolen the week they moved to Denver cause they left their keys in the truck and left it unlocked. This is a big no no."
- earthlover6312
bart simpson episode 20 GIFGiphyBaggage
"Invest in a small cross-body bag (they're like fanny packs, but not meant to be worn on the waist, or just wear a fanny pack across your body)."
"Keep all your important things in it, and on the front of your body. Pants pockets are easy to steal from, not so much a zipped bag 6' under your face."
"Plus, it's a trend nowadays so you won't look very out of place."
- SeductiveSoup
Jimmy Fallon V GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyThe Bubble
"There are plenty of kind, caring, and helpful people in cities."
"But being 100% trusting, talking to anyone that crosses your path, and believing every person has good intentions will get you robbed, raped, or killed."
"I get genuinely worried for Mormon missionaries and tourists from the Midwest sometimes. There's a difference between being friendly, and living in a child-like bubble of naiveté."
- skootch_ginalola
Season 2 Good Luck GIFGiphyYou've read what Reddit has to say, now it's your turn.
What would you add to this list of things country folk need to know before embarking on a city adventure?
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I didn't really spend any time at "friends" places til I was almost done with high school, and when I tell you it was straight up culture shock ... I just ... woo!
My family is multi-racial and massive. So imagine my shock walking into a house where people are just one color and there's only 3 of them and like ... that's it?
Three? Where is everyone else? My dad has nine siblings. Most of them have 5 and 6 kids and even more grandkids. Moms side of the family is just as big.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the weirdest thing you've seen happen at a friend's house that they thought was normal?
For me, the weirdest thing by far was just the total lack of people. Friend's houses felt like post-apocalyptic desolate wastelands for the first few visits until I started to understand that it was *ME* who was the one living in an unusual situation.
Let's see what these people discovered.
The Musty Smell
Funny Face Reaction GIF by TikTokGiphy"Was on a date with a guy who was cooking dinner for me and his dog took a giant horse pee in the living room. I jumped up, a bit panicked, trying to get the guy's attention to what just happened."
"The guy didn't even look up when he said 'Oh yeah, she does that sometimes' ... and that was it."
"I asked him if there was a towel and disinfectant I could use to help clean it up and the guy says 'I'll just throw some Febreeze on it after dinner.' "
"I suddenly realized the musty smell I noticed earlier wasn't from his cool and rustic cabin being under a canopy of trees, or that the floor in the same location that bowed when you stepped over it was because it was old."
"Ate dinner at a table that was couple feet away from the dog toilet. Left."
"Fcking gross." - Revolutionarysugar6
The Daycare Bartender
homer simpson daycare GIFGiphy"Here's an 'I was that family' story. My Godmother (who was practically an aunt) ran a fairly successful daycare out of her home in the 90s."
"She was a first generation immigrant to the US, whose parents came to the New England area from Ireland. My two younger brothers and I spent a lot of time at her home and I was generally the oldest child there."
"When I was about 8 years old, she started to have me make her her favorite drink. Gin and tonic. She drank these ALL DAY, while running her home daycare."
"At age 8 I knew...how to mix cocktails, that forks were better for stirring than spoons, and that large plastic bottles of gin were cheap and low quality."
"This went on for years, on pretty much a daily basis, until my family moved out west. My Godmother kept her daycare running until she died (I'm sure of health problems relating to alcohol.) "
"I was 15 when she passed and I'm in my 30's now. I honestly went most of my life thinking NOTHING of it until I became a father a couple of years ago. At which point I was like... 'How the f*ck did anyone let her have a daycare?' "
"Side note, I drink but would consider myself an average drinker, if not below average. With that being said, I could never stomach the thought of gin and didn't try gin until I was 30. "
"This was because I once licked my finger, early in my daycare bartending career, after a couple of drops of gin splashed on my hand as I was pouring. That plastic-half-gallon quality gin was the worst thing I'd ever had in my life and I had no idea how my Godmother liked it so much. Complete ruined my taste for gin...at 8." - academic_bar9792
The Hoarders
2 broke girls GIFGiphy"I had a friend in High School - we're still friends today actually - whose mom was a hoarder."
"There were little pathways throughout the house but it was filled, from floor to ceiling, with junk. In the hallway to the bedrooms, she had stacked every newspaper she ever got. They were tied up in bundles."
"When you walked in that hallway he would caution to not touch the papers because if a row fell, it would take a couple hours to dig yourself out." - ferrariguy1970
"Not really weird I guess, but first time in my husband's parent's house (just a friend at the time), I got to see what a hoarder house looked like."
"It wasn't even a well-known term/condition back then, so it just really shocked me seeing the giant mounds of stuff everywhere and having to navigate through it all. His room was clean, the rest of the house, not so much." - ArtsySAHM
Cool
This Is Cool GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I babysat for a family on occasion and the kids would always ask for a 'cool cup' and I had no clue what it was. They asked for them constantly but were too little to really describe them enough for me to understand."
"I mentioned it to the mom in passing one day and she started laughing hysterically. She then showed me the cool cups by cutting the tops off of some bell peppers, taking out the seeds, and then filling the peppers with tap water."
"The kids went nuts over them like there were treats. It was really weird to me that drinking water out of bell peppers was a thing to beg for on the regular." - Kikabennet
"One of my friends has a 3 year old that was wanting some sort of like yogurt drink or something. He'd already had one so answer was no."
"He asked a couple more times and so my bud asked him in an excited tone, 'Do you want a cool drink!?' "
"Of course kid got excited and said yes."
"My friend put ice and water in a blender and made a shredded ice drink. Kid drank 3 of them and was jazzed about it. Lol" - ConstipatedUnicorn
The Documentarian
Photo Pictures GIF by The GodfatherGiphy"Went to a sleepover at this girls house and her mom was obsessively taking pictures of us all night."
"At one point, we were watching a movie and my friend passed out and her mom , I sh*t you not, pulls out a huge newscast-type heavy duty camera and starts recording her daughter sleeping for a solid 5 minutes."
"I have trouble sleeping and so that night when us kids were in the bedroom to sleep, I was on the floor, just staring at the wall in the dark. I was facing away from the door, laying on my side."
"I hear the door creak...some footsteps and then the darkness of the room lit with a sudden flash."
"I got up just in time to see the door close. I know it was her mom taking pics of us. The weirdest part to me is that it was about 3am when that happened - meaning the girl's mom either had an alarm or just stayed up that late in wait..."
"It wasn't explained and the mother also took like 20 pics of us eating dinner and breakfast the next morning. Also, we were in high school."
"I found out later her mom is just like that. We had a school science fair and her mom came and was taking pictures of EVERYTHING, even the carpet." - TraditionalEye4686
"My grandmother lost her first child in a tragic accident. She was like this with my dad. Maybe she had something like that in her past." - robbysaur
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
There are a few experiences as frustrating as dealing with an entitled customer. But there's absolutely nothing quite like dealing with someone who doesn't r...House Cows
cow GIFGiphy"Had a friend who's family lived on a huge property and kept cows for the property tax exemption. Not odd around the area."
"He told me to come by. When I got there he invited me in to meet his parents and I swear to God there was a full size cow chilling on one of their couches in the living room." - Veg305
"Growing up we had some goats and land but no cows."
"My brother decided to go to the livestock auction with one of his friends and saw a baby cow being sold for meat. I guess he just couldn't stand the thought of this poor little cow being sold to be eaten so he won the auction for it."
"He then walked it home somehow and didn't put it in the pasture, nor the backyard, but INSIDE THE HOUSE INSTEAD."
"My mom came home from work and was like 'excuse me everyone, why is there a cow in the hallway?'"
"Lmao he got in so much trouble. Loved that cow though, he thought he was a goat." - bunnykitten94
The Doctors House
Elizabeth Corday Doctor GIFGiphy"My house - but looking back it's unusual."
"My Dad was a doctor and it was not uncommon for him to take a patient's blood on the way home and store it in the fridge next to the orange juice overnight. Then take it to work the next morning."
"Can't do that these days of course but the 70s was pretty wild." - Ozdiva
"My grandparents were doctors and this is the least weird story in this thread for me. Living with a doctor is an educational adventure." - ChasingSplashes
"Almost same but my brother. He is a veterinarian but during his study, he'd bring all sorts of animal cadavers in the house. Lol" - Adonis_X
The Bears Couch
Giphy"One of the first times I met my husband's family, I was over at their house and husband gestured for me to sit down and be comfortable."
"Their house was really very cluttered. Not quite hoarder cluttered, but close. They had a couple of couches facing each other and then some other chairs."
"Not knowing the 'rules,' I sat on one of the couches, which had a lot of stuffed teddy bears on it. OMG, you would think I had sat down on live bears."
"There were probably 20-30 small - medium stuffed bears on this couch. Husband's mother and twin brother both visibly reacted as if I had damaged the bears. (Not antique bears either)."
"That was when I was told that the couch was for the bears, and only for the bears and that no one was allowed to sit on the bears' couch. Just the bears."
"The bears all had little beaded necklaces with their names on them to tell them apart because they were all the same brand and style." - floridianreader
The Dog's Room
bored german shepherd GIFGiphy"Friend of mine had a German Shepherd. I never once seen it outside, always in the house."
"I only ever went up the stairs once and there was a spare bedroom with just a carpet down and piles and piles of dog sh*t everywhere." - ProbationInTheMaking
Distinct Sound Of A Shot Gun
Shotgun GIF by memecandyGiphy"In high school a friend and I went to a later movie then planned to sleep over at her house. The movie got done around 10pm ish."
"The house was dark as her parents were early to bed."
"As we walked in her back door there was a distinct sound of a shot gun being racked and her father saying "who's there?" My friend just calmly says "oh its just us" and that was that."
"One and only time I've had a gun pulled on me." - dstone1985
The McChicken Stash
chicken GIFGiphy"Use to hang at my one bro's parents houses. He stayed in the basement, had a low paying job, whatever, he makes dough now."
"Anyway we would get cheap food from McDonald's usually. It was when the McChicken first came out and the dollar menu, around when subway came out with the 5 dollar footlong."
"But we use to drink beers and get hungry and subway was always closed by this time so one of us would run to McDonald's and get like 6 McChickens. Well he would always only eat 2 and put one in his sock drawer."
"Thought maybe he had an elf to feed when I left or something."
"Nope he was eating it later or the next day. He even would stash one under the seat in his car, when he drove to grab them. Long story short he got diverticulitis after doing this for years."
"Neither of us eat McDonald's anymore." - moonshotmercury
Keep it weird, my friends. Keep it reaaaaaal weird.
Just ... ya know ... not when company is over. Keep it weird on your own time. lol.
