It's Over: Why People Instantly Fell Out Of Love With Their Crush
A Redditor asked: 'What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?'
Relationships are meant to be fun, and having a crush can feel so dreamy in a way, but there are reasons for relationships to end and crushes to dissolve.
Those reasons are absolutely valid, but some of them are also really terrible to think about.
A Redditor who has since deleted their account asked:
"What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?"
All For Convenience
"He just didn't seem to actually give a s**t about me, unless I was doing something for him or making his life easier."
- Foreveragu
The Biggest Ick
"When he left me for someone half my age. By the way, I was 29 years old."
- delusionallinkedchic
No Needs Met
"He stopped meeting my needs. I noticed he would bend over backwards for anyone else but neglected me all the time. Any small thing I asked was just too much."
"If he did ask me if I wanted anything from the store, etc., he would come back with everything everyone else asked for and he would forget mine. He peed on the toilet seat so many times and refused to be considerate and wipe after use..."
"The final straw was when I lost my brother recently. He just left me to grieve and didn't really give me any emotional support, no hugs, no asking if I'm alright. He became irritable and moody and now I've just lost whatever was left."
- velvetcharlotte
Their Smallest Fan
"Their constant daily criticism of everything I do, every little thing!"
- jay105000
The Unfaithful Partner
"She cheated on me with a married man. I cried and said I thought we were going to get married someday."
"She said, 'I was NEVER going to marry you!'"
"Nice way to kick someone when they're down..."
- Weary_Boat
Too Humbling of an Experience
"She said, 'I'm just... better than you.'"
"That was said to me the night after I finished my first degree in music. Apparently, I wasn't a 'hard science' major, so all her friends convinced her that I wasn't as good as them... or her."
"Ah well. Could have been worse."
- ThePencilRain
Not In Sickness, Just Health
"He treated my like s**t while I was going through cancer treatment."
- Multipass08
In Love With Being Chased
"In secondary school, I had a crush on a close friend, we were close as friends but nothing more. I eventually (after probably four years of showing hints, getting her gifts, and asking her out to meals and dates) told her exactly how I felt, and asked her how she felt."
"She knew already, but she wanted me to keep trying. She didn't want to be with me, she enjoyed having someone follow her around and dote on her. She then proceeded to have a relationship with every bloke in a friendship group."
"Not gonna lie, I was broken for a good while, but several relationships later, I haven't spoken to her in several years, but keep up with our old friend groups. According to them, she is desperately lonely after doing this with several other guys and now no one wants anything to do with her..."
"But yeah, being told she knew and that nothing was going to change killed all sorts of feelings in me for a long time."
- Practical_Junket8195
The One Who Projects
"The lying, cheating, and stealing."
"Plus all the accusations against me cheating and lying. And false allegations when I didn't react to the drama. Physically and emotionally abusive but I'm the male so no one cares."
"That kind of does it. It's sad, to be honest."
- Encased_in_Gold
So, So True
"Loss of trust does it every time. There can be no love without trust."
- mkwas343
Desperate for Love
"Awareness of my own false overhyped perception of her and realized that I have been overlooking her flaws because I was desperate to be with someone."
- ZenMyst
Disloyal and Unsupportive: A Classic Combination
"He cheated on me and told me it's not his problem so I should solve it alone and come back to him once I let go of things. Left him the next day."
- Buttercup0616
The Lack of Respect
"The put-downs, the insults disguised as jokes, constant derision, threats of cheating, laziness, greed, not caring about what they look like (wanting you to be in tip-top shape all the time, while they gain and get heavier and heavier)."
"They look down on you, treat you like a child or worse. Treated like a servant... or a slave. I could just carry on, but I could just give a few examples of my own experience. But you've read my rant long enough to get what I am saying."
- Background_Break2616
Absolutely No Excuse
"Subtle racist remarks that snowballed into blatant racism. Hopefully they have changed for the better."
- ThreeOneThirdMan
Not As a Second Option
"She said no and then came back a few days later saying actually yes, why not."
"Yeah no, you had one chance baby and you blew it."
- Maaaaaath
It's clear why these relationships ended. While it's nice for relationships to work out, a person shouldn't stay with it just for the sake of having a relationship, and these are great examples of why.
Instant attraction is real.
And it can be a real problem.
You want people to like you.
You want them to be who you think they are.
But then it can all change in an instant.
Redditor SpacedGeek wanted to discuss the moments we've all realized it was time to stop panting over a certain person.
So they asked:
"What did a crush do that made you instantly lose interest in him/her?"
I lose interest easily. So this should all make sense.
"She asked me to prom. I said yeah. Two days before prom ‘I actually don't want to go with you, but I already bought both of our tickets. As the guy, I expect you to pay me back for them.’"
"I tried to explain that’s not how transactions work. She kept telling me it was my responsibility. I asked if she was smoking crack. Never heard from her again."
OwMyCandle
Salt Lake City
"Not me but my wife before we met. There was an event in Salt Lake City and she was from northern Washington. She had a crush on this guy and decided to join carpooling with him and couple other people. They stopped to grab some fast food and went back on their way."
"Well as soon as he finished eating/ drinking, he tossed the whole bag out the window while driving. After that, she barely talked to him and once they got to SLC she left him and joined some other friends and went back home with them instead."
sknsnw9
You're Blocked
"Went on a date with a guy to a Chinese restaurant and as we were leaving he threw trash on the ground when there was a trash can a few feet away. Then we went to his house to watch a movie and he picked his cat up by the scruff of its neck and threw it. Not a set it down to get it off the counter kinda thing but a legit throw across the room."
"I left right then and there and told him why. He called me a *itch and a tease (for whatever reason, never gave him the impression I was going to sleep with him that night) and was yelling at me as I was backing my car out of his drive. I got to the end of his road and blocked his number."
TrendyKiddy
No one...
"They poked fun at my mom. Going to a primarily white school, him and a group of his guy friends always made fun of how she dressed and how short she was. I didn’t super know him, but he was a part of the group that did, and that’s all I needed to know. My mom is this sweet, short Asian woman who loves to smile, and yes, she sometimes wears goofy clothing, but no one makes fun of my momma. No one."
jacqueluvsjakie
?!?!?!?!
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"He said that he doesn’t like ugly people and they all should die or be put in a corner."
Sunshine-the-wolf
People are just vicious.
Idiot
"He drove like an idiot while I was in the car. I literally thought he was going to kill us, and he was road raging the whole time. This was on the highway, too. I asked him to stop driving like that and he didn’t. Never going out with him again."
cutetygr
"Same thing happened to me. Driving home from our first date, I wasn’t talking much because the date had gone poorly and I felt uncomfortable."
"He got mad at me for being 'too quiet' and pretended to fall asleep at the wheel. Leaned back in the chair, folded his arms, and closed his eyes. We were on the highway going at least 85. I had to grab the wheel to keep us from swerving. He ran a few reds once we got to my town too. Very unpleasant experience."
INTO MY HOUSE!!
"Asked her out, she said yes! Then, she dumped me 2 weeks in saying she didn’t wanna start anything new because she was moving in a month and didn’t tell me."
"Then that time came for her to move and where does she move? INTO MY HOUSE. she got with my roommate that looks creepily close to how I look (we would often get mistaken for brothers, twins even), and started a committed relationship with him."
"There were some thin walls in that house too..."
Three0h
cool/cute...
"This guy that I'd been talking to for a while on tinder who I thought was cool/cute but he never seemed down to meet up. One time he randomly messaged me to say he'd gone over to someone's place and they'd had sex three times. I think he was trying to make me jealous but it just made me feel a bit gross."
FaustianBargainHunt
Hard...
Paris Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy"Crush on a girl my junior year of college. She liked to heavily make fun of people and I mean hard. Like to the point I would say hi to someone I knew. After we walked off she would have some remark. She went from attractive to not wanting to be around her really quickly."
Slaed_Dweller
It only takes a moment to be over it.
Have you ever instantly lost interest in someone thanks to something they did? Let us know in the comments.
Have you ever been so intensely into another person you can't think straight?
Everything about them sends you into a flop sweat.
Then one day, you're out and about and they breathe wrong so you're disgusted and it's over.
A good crush can be obliterated in a matter of seconds.
But why? How can it be that fast?
Redditor 6FeetDownUnder wanted to know about the times infatuation died immediately. They asked:
"What made you immediately lose interest in a crush?"
This actually a gift of mine, or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I can lose interest in the snap of a finger.
Oh Hell No!
dogs biting GIFGiphy"She not only didn't like my dog but was rude and smacked my dog."
APatchInMyHat
Lukewarm
"Hot and cold behavior."
Jazzymousee
"SO MUCH THIS! Why do people do that? I’m a guy going through that right now with a woman that I fell for… and it sucks."
Bearoused
"Man... I just broke up with a girl who accused me of this too many times. The first time was shortly after our first date and I was like 'WTF?'"
"'We've talked every day including this morning and have another date set later this week.' The last time she said I was icing her out, but I had already told her I was stressing about some unrelated issues that I had already talked to her about a few times."
Nailbomb85
Cheaters
"That she cheated on everyone she had ever been with."
MetalMikeJr
"I had cheated on everyone I was with before I got sober. I have never cheated since (15 years) - I completely changed my entire lifestyle."
"I would never cheat again, I was a different person then, young, dumb, and loaded all the time making horrible decisions. Since getting sober, I’ve had 3 long term relationships that all ended for other things I have issues with. Haha. But not cheating! But I agree - most situations - would not be like this."
mansonsmom
It was weird...
"When I realized she had to take her bestie literally everywhere. It was weird. We would hang out and she would come. We'd go on a date and she'd come. We'd go to a movie and she would either come or be texting her the entire time. Every night she would just come over and watch TV with us. It really got old."
"We are still friends on Facebook. My old crush is married now and I see all these pictures of her and her husband in Greece, Paris, Safaris in Africa, and you guessed it, the 3rd wheel is in all the pictures."
Firebolt164
Just Cuz
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy“'I dump people to feel something' nah no way."
Obvious-Tangerine180
"Recently was seeing a girl that had a family emergency in her life. She decided to end things with us because she felt destructive and wanted to feel in control."
FortKnoxEnthusiast
Some people really need deeper therapy sessions before they get into relationships.
Rude
Tv Show Reaction GIF by The Daily Show with Trevor NoahGiphy"Asked her on a date, said yes. Ghosted me."
justdeletethisquik
6 Months In...
"Guy still flirted with other girls after expressing interest in me and let them sit on his lap. I ended it before it even really began. A year later he asked if I wanted to fool around. I said no. About a month after that I saw he had a girlfriend when she tagged him in a FB post saying 'happy 6 month anniversary.'"
BadgeringMagpie
The Way We See It
"Mutual codependency. I had a friend that I genuinely didn't notice a problem until I was pregnant and my daughter's father mentioned that she wouldn't be in the room for the birth. That never occurred to me. And then I was thinking of my life and how she was there for like everything. Had to set up some boundaries. She didn't like that and eventually cut herself from my life. She doesn't see it that way."
IreallEwannasay
Fool
"She cheated on her bf on an international trip. He was a cool dude, felt bad for him on that one. I haven't spoken to her in years."
Legitimate_Pirate249
"Similar thing happened to me too, I liked a guy who had a girlfriend at the time (I realise this sounds bad, I couldn’t help having a crush on him but I never would’ve acted on it). Anyways he was on an international school trip with us and he was cheating on his girlfriend the whole week. Instantly couldn’t even stand the sight of him."
Keidis-mcdaddy
Instant
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"'I'm not allowed to work with children' instant red flag."
potatorevolver
Follow the clues. Read the signs. Never be afraid to run.
I think you can always tell when someone has a crush on you.
Try as we might those types of feelings are often hard to subvert.
I always knew when someone liked me.
Sometimes I'd be thrilled and others... I kept praying they'd keep it to themselves.
But I was always polite with their feelings.
No matter what always be kind about it.
It's a flattering. If they get crazy though, then it's a different story.
Redditor TricknMinecraft wanted to hear about the times when we've learned people were a little sweet on us. They asked:
"How did you find out someone had a crush on you?"
I've had too many crushes to name. Some worked some didn't. Had did y'all do?
April of '92...
Kicking Laura Clery GIF by VidConGiphy"Had a girl keep banging my leg under the table at a Yonge St. Swiss Chalet in the fall of '91. I just thought our group was too tight together and she needed space. Turns out I'm just a clueless idiot. We've been together since April of '92 - so luckily she was persistent."
JustSomeAudioGuy
“what about me?”
"Was leaving school one day and my small group of friends were hugging and saying bye when this girl that I was into but didn’t know if she was into me raised her arms up and says 'what about me?' It was the best hug I’ve ever had. That was in 2005, we’ve been together ever since."
IcouldButWhy
“ooh an arm!”
"I was due in a couple weeks to move halfway across the country for my job so I was hanging out with a local friend to say goodbye. That night I admitted I would have asked her out if I wasn’t moving so far away. There was a moment of silence and she responded with, 'yeah I probably would have said yes- you’re quite the catch.'"
"Later that night we’re lying on her bed watching anime. She gets up to use the bathroom so I stretch my arms out. She comes back, sees me stretched out, says 'ooh an arm!' and cuddles right up to me. We’re dating now :)"
Temp0rality
It all makes sense...
"You’ll randomly realize 20 years standing in the shower. Suddenly you’ll be like ohhhhh that’s what she meant."
sonicloop
"LOL... was telling friends about a boy at school asking me if I'd date him when he got his new Ute. I was terribly offended and thought it was a hypothetical and was like 'No! I'd date someone because I liked them and they were kind to me not because of a car!' Girls all gave me a look and explained that was just awkward 2001 flirting. Oops."
Dry_Management_2530
Tim...
Want You Sigh GIF by Soul TrainGiphy"I once had a girl introduce me to her friend like this: 'This is Tim. I have a huge crush on him, but he hasn't figured it out yet.' I guess she'd gotten tired of waiting for me to figure it out, LOL."
morpipls
You can't wait forever. In the movies, pining looks romantic. In real life it's just sad and lonely.
Umm...
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"When they broke things off with their fiancé because they had feelings for me. I was horrified."
LadySygerrik
A Little Extra...
"She worked at the McDonald's near my house. She kept giving me free bacon every time I ordered a McDouble. I don't eat pork. After like the 3rd time, I go in the store to complain. The cashier calls up the girl in the back and she basically explains the bacon was her way of flirting with me. She was cute, so we did end up dating for a bit."
esoteric_enigma
Well Obvi...
"When I was about 10, this girl in my class had a crush on me. She made it obvious but I wasn’t interested at the time. After school we never saw each other for a few years then at 18 she apparently still had a crush on me. We’ve been married 18 years now."
Namahst
Sorry...
"I opened my high school yearbook from my Sophomore year and found a message from a friend that we should hangout together and included her phone number. I only found it 18 years later and I feel horrible that I didn't see it because it probably made me look like a fool and hurt her feelings."
shriez
"One night while texting he says, 'we aren't just friends, right?' and that was the first time i realised even he has a thing for me and I wasn't just imagining the sparks between us. He was my first boyfriend. I don't think I'd have a relationship as healthy as that one."
shelbyw*ore
Life is too short. If you like them, let them know. Just don't be all weird and crazy about it.
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If you, like millions of others, had your little 90s heart held in an unyielding vice grip by Jonathan Taylor Thomas, I'm gonna need you to sit down and take a few deep breaths because I'm about to say something so controversial, yet so freeing for you.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas was not all that and your passionate love for him was classic Disney manipulation. It's not your fault.
You weren't in 90s love - you were traumatized, and it's gonna be okay.
Reddit user Endowedx7 asked:
"90s babies.. who was your first television crush?!"
First of all, nobody followed directions and we jumped from TV to movies to cartoons super fast.
Secondly, the sheer number of people who say Jonathan Taylor Thomas when this question is asked just hurts my soul. He, honestly, was a B-rate heartthrob at best.
His hair wasn't perfectly parted and platinum-like Jonathan Brandis (RIP)
Thomas Ian Nicholas had stronger "3 first names" power.
JTT lacked the shy smile Devon Sawa served with ease.
Even Andrew Keegan started a cult.
What did Jonathan Taylor Thomas do to earn so much adoration?
I theorize that the answer, quite simply, boils down to trauma bonding. We fell in love with Simba, and his little cries over Mufasa, and that was it; JTT was now our forever favorite because of the Circle of Life.
Dang Disney is good - but also kind of evil. Now that you know, you can heal. Go forth in peace.
Bask in Reddits favorite Non-JTT 90's crushes.
Devon. Duh.
christina ricci dancing GIFGiphy"Casper, Devon Sawa"
- ramblinator
"Hard yes at Devon. Casper 'Can I keep you?' wrecked me 😭"
"Also in Now and Then, Idle Hands, Final Destination. They were my faces. Oof, the 90s were a time."
- coma-toaste
"My sister actually just met him at some sort of convention in Dallas. She sent me a pic, because she knew how much I loved Devon."
- ShataraBankhead
"Devon Sawa was my first crush. My friends could keep JTT, I only had eyes for Devon."
- bassgirl_07
"This was the answer I was looking for. He looked beautiful to me at a kid watching that movie."
- Noppo_and_Gonta
A Science Lady
"Scully. I love me a science lady."
- silverblaze92
"Lort yes Scully with that fire red hair and those soft eyes!!!!"
"Underrated crush. She was beautiful!"
- Drops_USMiC
"I still have the biggest crush on her. Literal schoolgirl crush, blush and all."
"It took me like 10 years to realize that straight girls don't like other girls the way I adored Scully."
"Aaaaaand that's how I realized I was definitely bi."
- juniper-mint
"Scully and Velma were my biggest fictional crushes growing up, I just like nerdy ladies. 🤷🏻♂️
- Foofsies
Daddy Shang
"Captain-turned-General Li Shang from Mulan."
"The first time he took his shirt off made a lasting impact that I was not prepared for."
- g_lay
"Lol it did for Mulan, too."
"It occurred to me recently that she'd likely never seen a shirtless man who wasn't her dad, so that specimen was her first..."
- kdbartleby
"Daddy Shang"
- supholmess
"BRUUUHHHH Shang yes"
- TheObservationalist
"Sign me up for the next war!"
- ElderBrute
Brendan
brendan fraser horses GIFGiphy"BRENDAN FRASER"
- purplehairedcatdaddy
"Came here to say this! For me it was George of the Jungle, the bowls scene changed me."
- sheehosellstheshells
"God he was sexy, especially with long hair."
"He was done so dirty. Glad he’s getting more work now but he deserves more."
- Viiibrations
"Omg, I was so in love with him. I even watched that stupid Dudley Do-Right movie."
"Everybody loved him for his body, but I'd still give it to him today though. Chubby guys ftw."
- Iced_Jade
...And Everyone's Bisexual Awakening
"I came here to say Brendan too. George of the Jungle and The Mummy… 🤤"
- Tough_Raspberry1983
"As a bisexual, The Mummy and The Mummy Returns had me feeling so many ways. Poor young me didn’t know who to focus on more lmao"
- starkrocket
"Lets be honest here, practically the entire main cast of the Mummy qualifies."
- Skylis
"The Mummy was a glorious bisexual awakening for so many people."
- shallowbasketcase
Its Morphin Time
"Kimberly, the pink ranger. She can still get it, wherever she is."
- END0WEDx
"You are the man, OP, for responding to your own question with the best answer. "
"This too was my first tv crush. She was all that back then."
- Mikernoce
"The episode where the Tigerzord and Thunder Megazord get destroyed... She had no right wearing that outfit for us kids but I'm so glad she did."
- [Reddit]
"This is the one."
"I was like 4 watching power rangers in my underwear, and I thought she could see through the TV and I got embarrassed and put pants on."
- TheOfficialTheory
Starfleet Standards
Happy Star Trek GIFGiphy"Jonathan Frakes. That beard fetish has followed me around for the last 25 years."
- Cutegun
"Omg, yes. Daddy Riker has me feeling all kinds of ways that are surely not up to Starfleet standards."
- hardly_trying
"Ohh yeah. There’s a reason why he was always written as the one seducing (or being seduced by) hot alien women."
"And yes, I too grew up to love men with beards. 😆"
- tourmaline82
"It’s unsettling to re-watch the first season before his beard was a cast member. Deeply unsettling."
- lunaleather
Flintstones
"Halle Berry from the 1994 Flintstones movie."
"Oh. My. God. I was obsessed."
- ImLikeLicorice
"I remember thinking 'wtf is that cleavage doing in a PG Steven Spielberg movie?' But at the same time, I was perfectly ok with it."
- Ooze3d
Shakira Shakira
"I remember watching Shakira in a music video on MTV when I was 9 and being completely mesmerized 😂"
- MoAdibbb
"Yes, same for me. I was 8 and Whenever Wherever was everywhere on TV and radio."
- lucitribal
"Me too! She just did it for me and I was like 4... It's literally one of the earliest memories I still have."
- Dazius06
Merry Christmas
aaron carter GIFGiphy"Aaron Carter on the Christmas episode of Lizzie McGuire…. Lol what a time!"
- illbeokayeventually
"I met him when I worked at the airport. Came in wearing a beanie and a bathrobe."
"He was super friendly though 😅"
- evergreenxsage
"I was scrolling for this answer! I can picture the Christmas episode in my head!"
- Helpful_Cat0808
"I swore I was the only one who saw this and just never said it out loud."
- sheisvoid
The Static
"I hope video games count!"
"I remember walking up to the TV to kiss Link."
"The static made it more fun lol"
- mommasoggydoggyup
Hexes And Homos
"The Hex Girls from Scooby-Doo! and The Witch's Ghost"
- TheMissingChapstick
"Oh the Hex Girls are required crushes for every young gays development."
- [Reddit]
"Honestly I should've realized I wasn't straight sooner, those hex girls were FINE"
- Azusanga
"I'm convinced the Hex Girls singer Thorn was the reason so many guys my age were into scene girls when they were younger."
- What----------------
"The hex girls definitely awakened something inside of me when I was younger."
- abloobudoo009
Something Awesome
Channel 3 90S GIF by Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesGiphy"April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
- N_Tracer
"I just remember thinking there was something really awesome about that yellow jumpsuit"
- Crazyjaw
"My God, that Yellow jump suit."
- AdamBombTV
"If my mom would walk in the room while April was on the screen I would get so nervous and awkward like she walked in on me watching porn."
- Japhysiva
Peter
"Jeremy Sumpter in Peter Pan"
- Obvious-Olive8241
"OHHHHHH weee you just took me down nostalgia lane. That boy had me dead for a solid week straight."
"Kept rewatching Peter Pan again and again to pretend I was Wendy 🥺😭"
- a_sunny_disposition
"Same, even convinced my parents to take me to L.A. to a Ronald Mc Donald race in Griffith park to meet him, and the day of the race we got lost and didn’t get to meet him."
"I almost cried when i saw everyones picture with him on this forum called Jeremy’s angels."
- Aggravating_Row2179
Gargoyles Need Love Too
"The female gargoyle in the Gargoyles cartoon."
"My siblings made fun of me for this for like 10 years until they forgot about it. I hope they never remember lol."
- Spirit860
The Young Bard
"Had this thing for Gabrielle from the Xena show for a while."
- Isenhart81
"I watched so much Xena because I had a crush on Gabrielle, always got a kick out of the Hercules cross over episodes, and LOVED the episodes where Bruce Campbell was a reoccurring character. I think I was born to be a sarcastic wise-ass, because he was my favorite character on that show before I knew what sarcasm was."
- Sawysauce
"I remember thinking Xena was a bit too much for me. I didn’t want my crush to actually crush me, so Gabrielle was perfect."
- Ooze3d
"I found Gabriel approachable and she wore a crop top. She absolutely awoke my love of understanding companionship. I didn't realize it was a crush until I was a bit older, as I was just heavily interested and didn't realize I could crush on girls lol."
- PeachLeech
Topanga!
"Topanga!"
- electriccweenie
"Mine was definitely Shaun. Topanga was my first girl crush for sure! Love that show!"
- hamsamith
"Yes, can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see Danielle Fischel."
"She has stayed gorgeous."
- greybruce1980
"I came here thinking if Topanga wasn’t at the top of this list it’s not legitimate lol"
- shouichix3
"Facts. Man her coming back to school from summer camp 🥵"
- higher_limits
See?
TONS of non-JTT options for all tastes!
We can finally be free, my friends. Free!
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