"Which type of tattoo makes you cringe the most?"
Leave Calvin Alone!
"Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff."
"Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet."- alanladdismydad
What Does That Say About Them...
"A defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had 'homicide' tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow."
"Not a great look."- Silidon
Love At First Sight... One Hopes!
"Couple tattoos like portraits or names."
"Mostly when they proudly tell you it’s because they’ve been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever."- Gingeraffe25
Scared Animation GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphyQuickly Outdated...
"Knew of a guy once who had 'DUBSTEP' tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters."
"He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay."- Shadesmctuba
Choose Your Words Carefully...
"Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else."
"For example 'for your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!'"
"And tattoos with spelling errors."
"Example 'were you really there if you think you were their?'"- AlexatRF21
Easy To Make Assumptions
"Nothing says 'I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer' like a Joker neck or face tattoo."- Celer_Umbra
Who Needs Love GIF by Trippie ReddGiphyTo Infinity And Beyond...
"Former tattoo artist here, and it has to be infinity symbols."
"ESPECIALLY when they want them to be 'uNiQuE', so they have you spend three hours drawing up different ways of cramming little McKayzleigh and Brackxston’s names, birthdates, birth weights, blood types, and favorite ice cream flavors in there."
"Fine, I’ll find a way."
"I can work for my money."
'"Oh, and can it also have a thin blue line in there for my husband?'"
"Sure, lady."
“And maybe some birds breaking off of it, cause my meemaw loves birds!”
"Sighhhh. Yeah, okay."
“'And can you do it on the side of my finger in white ink?'”
"F*ck you, get out."
"Bonus points on these if they walk in holding a monogrammed Yeti tumbler full of the alcohol they’re trying to smuggle in."- rumpertumpskins
Hickey's Are So Passé
"Lips on the neck."
"I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight."- LooseLeaf24
No One Has Time To Read Anymore
"Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas."
"I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips."
"Had ‘Cowboy The F*ck Up’ tattooed across his forearms."
"Ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and, I don’t know, be scared or something?"
"He never got in any fights that I know of."
" But due to the size he wanted it and sh*tty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read F*CK UP."
"And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the f*ck-up."- RistaRicky
GIF by andymilonakisGiphyAnyone considering getting a tattoo should always remember that they're all but permanent.
As far too many people are sadly stuck with a reminder of a past bad decision which greets them every time they look in a mirror.
And often on display for the rest of the world to see as well.
Redditor LexiDuck asked:
"What is the cringiest thing you've done?"
Let's get into some second hand embarrassment.
Laugh out loud.
"Said 'lolololol' out loud. It was like the sad, pointless mating call of a prehistoric nerd."
"Using this face I hope."
"I say lmao out loud and make my friends die inside."
Get Out Ugh GIFGiphyEveryone knew they were lying.
"Told some female co workers that I spent 2 weeks in jail…. They knew I was lying. I knew I was lying. Why did I do that."
"Idk, have you tried staying up all night thinking about it?"
Teenage emo phase.
"All of these were when I was a teenager:"
- "Went into a barbers with a picture of an emo dude I found on the internet, and I told them I wanted my hair done like that. They told me my hair already looked like that."
- "Made a really stupid sexist joke in front of a girl I sort of liked. She definitely didn't find it funny."
- "Walked around in a T-shirt that had a huge American flag with a hammer and sickle in place of the stars. It wasn't for political reasons, I didn't even know about politics at the time, I just thought it was cool."
- "Following on from #3, I used to wear some ridiculous outfits to college that were radically different every day. One day it was a fedora with a white dress shirt and black waistcoat, the next it was bright red skinny jeans with a leather jacket and huge sunglasses."
emo GIFGiphy"I know this is all kinda cringe but I love you so much lol this is all the best honestly ❤️ we all had emo hair at one point and they were the absolute best days ever."
"Everything but #2 makes me think you're cool."
Paralyzing cringe.
"I was at my friends house and went to get something from the lower part of the fridge. As I squatted down I farted so loud that I got paralyzed for about 5 seconds."
"I don't know if this classifies as cringe or just straight up embarrassing."
- iCalet
"First time in a while I've laughed out loud from a comment."
Cringe Wince GIFGiphy"When I was a stupid teenager, at Christmas, my uncle was poor. He gave me my Christmas present and having heard this joke elsewhere and thinking it clever I said 'thank you, I'll have the rest later.' The room went silent, I tried to explain but I made it worse. That was about 25 years ago and I still cringe at the memory!"
"Aw damn poor uncle."
Bluetooth headphones.
"Definitely answered someone while they were talking on a Bluetooth. Numerous times."
"That's on them for wearing a Bluetooth device, especially if it was within the last 10 years."
"As a former cashier, folks on the Bluetooth would piss me off all the time. I'd ask how they want their things bagged, or say hello, and they'd hold up a hand to their head and say 'I'm not talking to you, hold on.'"
Dont Touch Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphyAll for a crush.
"Joined a dance performance at school because my crush was in the group. She dropped out a day before the performance and I still had to go on."
"The song was that car wash song from shark tale. I still hate hearing it and remembering this."
Judge Judy Reaction GIFGiphyNot the more typical response.
"I was at target and just got done purchasing stuff and said 'you're welcome' to a target cashier after she said 'have a nice day.'"
"For some reason, I laughed so hard at this! I guess because I can imagine myself doing the same thing."
"I hate when somebody says something like 'ok sir you're all set,' and my dumbass will be like 'thanks, you too,' lol."
"I was at a gig and it was being recorded by the venue owner. Really cool place, local brews from all around America, original music and local art on the walls for sale. Super cool crowd."
"I hate even remembering this and I never play the CD for this specific reason. I took a gulp of this delicious cider and said into the mic (too loud and in a weird announcer voice) 'Liquid Confidence!!' No one laughed. There were like 60+ ppl there. I'm so furggin dumbbbb."
"Well you made me laugh so you have that going for you."
Robert Downey Jr Shrug GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople Break Down The Best Purchases They've Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Miles high.
"I just realized this is 2nd most cringe. First most cringe was when I was first starting to travel for work. I was talking to my boss (25 yrs my senior, also a VP of our division) and his counterpart (30 yrs my senior, also a VP) about how I aspire to get enough southwest points to be an A-List member, and I said 'When I get on the A-List, I'll finally be in the mile-high club. Or, what is it? The 10,000 mile high club?'"
"They both looked super uncomfortable and I, a social idiot, was like 'What is it called?' Neither of them had the heart to tell me how cringe that was to say. Saddest part is, I never even made onto the A-List. The closest I got was 2 flights short."
Laughing at him, not with him.
"In elementary school I was sitting at the front of the school bus preparing to go home and naturally got bored so I started playing around. I did the invisible lasso thing where you pretend to swing a rope over your head and 'catch' a nearby person before slowly reeling them in. Not only did the person look at me like I was insane, but because I was naïve I assumed that the laughing classmates and other kids were laughing along with me and not at me."
"So when they said, 'Do it again! Do it again!' I listened and did as they said repeatedly, smiling like an idiot the entire time and thinking I was the coolest person on the bus. It wasn't until years later that it hit me what really went on since the memory had almost vanished from my mind by then. Now it's one that visits me at random every time I think of the invisible lasso thing."
denzel washington cringe GIFGiphyPranks.
"When I was about 9 years old, I saw a group of older neighborhood boys playing nearby. I ran over to them and then pretended to fall down and hurt my leg. When I was laying on the ground, pretending to wallow in pain, they came over to see I was ok. I screamed "GOTCHA" and then ran away. I still cringe when I think about it. To this day, I have no idea why I did that."
"Nah that's not cringe, you totally got them."
"It wasn't so much what I did, I was more the target of a cruel prank by my friends."
"When we were teenagers we were all in our mate's house when his parents were away, and we had a few drinks. There was a girl in school I really liked and my friends encouraged me to phone her and tell her. The lad whose house it was said I could use the house phone upstairs for privacy (this was before we all had mobile phones) so I did."
"But they then put the downstairs phone on speakerphone but on mute and listened in as I told her how I felt about her, asked her out, and got rejected."
- kitjen
"I'm a waitress and a few years back I had a party of 9 or 10 stop by in really nice dress clothes. Upon greeting the table in my perky table voice I said, 'Hi everyone how are we all doing? You all look great, what are we celebrating today?!' They replied they had just gotten back from a funeral. I was so embarrassed but they were very nice!"
"I did the same exact thing when I was waiting! They were mostly wearing brown and gray suits on a Sunday afternoon, so I thought it was either from some church event or a wedding."
Henry Danger Wow GIF by NickelodeonGiphyNot the best move.
"Told my wife she had thunder thighs."
"I told her this the second day we knew each other too… we were just talking and I immediately regretted it. Luckily things worked out but damn, what a stupid thing to say to a girl you like when you barely know them."
"I once pretended I was Abraham Lincoln's reincarnation while trying to impress a girl."
"I was chatting to this girl who liked history and the American Civil War so I pretended I used to be Abraham Lincoln."
"Someone started having a seizure during a game of charades and I thought it they were trying to act it out and I started yelling 'Freak out! Spazzing! Twitching!' When his mom yelled at me to stop telling me he was having a seizure. I just about died from embarrassment."
- Womper1
"Why didn't the mom help him out sooner, what the f*ck. You're not in the wrong."
- aew360
"Watching Serendipity (romcom about destiny) and messaged my crush 'if you're watching this too its meant to be..'. Yeah I know.. I then received a call from her! ... It was her and her friends laughing at me down the phone."
"Great movie though."
Funny Face Reaction GIFGiphy"High school girlfriend had just dumped me and I got a fresh haircut one day so I sped down the highway to pass by her school bus and flex my cut and thought maybe it would make her change her mind lol, found out later that same day that she left me for another guy. God it's so terrible it hurts just thinking about it years later."
We are sorry to laugh at everyone's expense here, but a lot of us will find these are pretty common embarrassing moments. Maybe we don't need to cringe at them as much since a lot of people have done this before. It's pretty normal at this point!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
My Condolences....
shocked oh no GIFGiphyA coworker showed up late and and I jokingly said did someone die? And he said I was at my cousin's funeral. Never in my life did I cringe so hard.
Not so HA!
I used to work at a coffee shop with this girl who was probably one of the most beautiful women ever. I remember she told me a joke and I said "lol". out loud. with no actual laughter. Her face said everything and it was the most cringy crap I've ever done. Still makes me tense up when I think about it.
I'm Hungry....
One time I had my hand raised in class for a good 10 minutes and the teacher kept ignoring me. When he looked at me again, saw my raised hand and looked away I just.... growled? Not in a "I'm making a frustrated sound" way but more like a "I'm a lion and I'm hungry and Imma eat you" kinda way. It was super loud. I don't even know how I made that sound. It still haunts me.
Chances.
I was directing a play in high school and made some random joke I can't even remember that ended with "of course that would only happen if you were a middle child who BECAME the oldest because your older brother was killed by a drunk driver." and my lead actor was like "That is literally my family situation". What are the chances?
What Mr. ED?
GiphyOne time my professor asked someone to read out loud and be animated about it. We were reading a story that involved a horse and I did clanking sounds to imitate the horse running (it was on the page!) in a class room of 70 he told me to stop and had someone else continue on reading... HE SAID ANIMATED AND EXTRA CREDIT!
An Extra Smooch....
When i was on holiday in France when i was 10 years old. We had to do the whole kissing on the cheek thing, and i went in for an extra kiss with this middle aged lady. She left me hanging. I panicked and the first thing i could think to say was 'did my mum give you your present' My mum had not got her a present. I ran away with even more embarrassment and anxiety whilst pretending to find a fake present.
Bare or Bear?
We asked our teacher in high school did he like to ride horses, the teacher replied "I like to ride them bareback" everybody in our class burst out laughing, his face went red and he put his head in his hands and said to himself "I should've known better than to have answered that question."
Wait until 5....
I know a guy who wanted to ask a girl to marry him after having met for only 3-4 hours.
I went out with a guy once who did this. It was the first time I tried online dating and I was very anxious about the whole thing but he seemed nice enough. We met in person for a coffee, he was super late but eventually showed. Date went for about 1-2 hours.
After I got home I got about 3 massive texts saying how he knew I was the one, we should have a family one day, he's been waiting forever for a girl like me etc etc
It was super creepy and scared me off dating for another 5 years.
Ramadan...
I may have shared this on Reddit before. Working in an office during Ramadan we had a new manager who wanted to appear woke but ended up like Michael Scott. He said" guys can you be mindful when bringing food on to the floor as its Ramadan" he then turns to the only asian/middle eastern guy on our team and says"how are you finding Ramadan" "i'm a Sikh" came the reply.
be casual...
casual GIF by CraveTVGiphyFirst day of first ever office job
Friend's advice: don't wear a suit, it's casual dress
Me: lets wear jeans and a florescent green t-shirt, like something you'd wear to a rave
Everyone else: work trousers and a shirt (but no ties, so casual)
Me, Monday @ 0905 - I want to die.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
No to Molly
stephen kings it clown GIFGiphyThe tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg. It was done when I was a ten in an apartment.
Antler Art
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "butt antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer inside your pants.
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
<googles>
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
https://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951
Kissed
Lips on the neck.
I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
You get a lot of people with Albuquerque and the New Mexico State symbol tatted on them as well. ABQ is notorious for sh!tty tats... a lot of the work I've seen since living here is really bad honestly.
Joke's on You
heath ledger joker GIFGiphyNothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. I am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
Uncouple Please
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it's because they've been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more crap a couple does to prove they're gonna be together forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together forever.
Yeehaw Fail
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas.
I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had 'Cowboy The F Up' tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don't know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and sh!tty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read F UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the f-up.
Oh Karna....
Just saw a couple of days ago a writing on some dude: "Karna isn't a witch" - just as I wrote it.
He's just expressing support for his friend Karna. She might not be a saint, but she isn't a witch.
To be fair, Karna is one of the most interesting characters of Mahabharata, a Sanskrit epic. Oh, and "Karna" literally translates to ear.
Sure hope his ear isn't a witch! :D
Stay with Adults
GiphyThose creepy faces of babies, which looks like there's a little demon on your body.
Baby face are so hard to get right. They don't have the same proportions as adults. Even drawings of babies are creepy 9/10 times.
The Neck Area
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
I hope the Asian part wasn't her name spelled out in katakana. Really common and really weird. Like you are worried about turning up unconscious in a lost-and-found in Tokyo and this is the only way they'll be able to identify you. All our names sound stupid in the katakana version.
Don't Phone My Home
Sci-Fi Movie GIF by MANGOTEETHGiphyWhen I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very trashy, older friend.
The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the crap out of me as a child." I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
How Lyrical?
Knew of a guy once who had "DUBSTEP" tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Even if it was here to stay, that's still a really stupid tattoo. It would look equally stupid to have POP or HIPHOP on your chest too.
Objection!
phoenix wright objection GIF by CheezburgerGiphyA defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had "homicide" tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
Afterlife....
I work with the deceased. I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide. Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs. Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption. The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
A Gift
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example "For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!"
And tattoos with spelling errors. Example "Were you really there if you think you were their?"
I thought tattoo presents were just... paying for your friend's tattoo. I'm glad I didn't know that, and wish I could unknow it.
Oh CB....
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet.
Stamped...
stamp GIF by South ParkGiphyI have a tramp stamp that says "no regrets" in very fancy cursive. It's the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
Body parts
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). That is really damn gross, don't get one.
"oh... alright let me go get set up"
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha.
More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her.
FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
"Lie to Me"
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
Know what you mean....
mark wahlberg no GIF by Daddy's HomeGiphyAny tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.