Curious to hear from hotel employees about the bizarre incidences that have transpired on their watch, Redditor Slider-678 asked:
"Hotel workers, what is your craziest story?"
If you think the cleaning staff is expected to always go above and beyond by doing more than just turning down the bed, you have another think coming.
Why I Quit My Job
"I worked in a decent hotel in college, was the night auditor. One night the police came in and went directly to a room around 2am. They escorted a prostitute out and asked to speak to the manager."
"After they were done speaking with my manager the officer handed me the phone and she told me to go in and clean up the room. I never made beds or did any of that so I wasn't sure exactly what she wanted. I went to the room and there was trash everywhere. There were uncapped syringes, used packages that had contained drugs and general filth everywhere. I called the manager back to tell her that I wasn't touching anything because of the uncapped syringes. They were literally all over the place and I wasn't going to pick up piles of clothes or move blankets."
"The manager said that if I didn't clean the room I was fired. I said fine, you have a half an hour to get here because I am leaving. I was the only one there overnight. As she pulled into the parking lot a short time later I walked over to my car, didn't even wait for her to get inside."
– EntrepreneurNo1145
Slow Attacker
"Working at a luxury hotel, I once got a call to remove a snail from a guests room as it was 'coming after them' and that they were 'afraid for their young child.'”
– Additional-Car2163
Rage is real.
Deescalating Violence
"I worked night shift, and was the only employee in the entire hotel from 11pm to 6am. Around 3 am I get a few calls about a fight in an upstairs hallway. I grab a pair of scissors and tuck it up my sleeve and make my way upstairs to see what is going on. When I get there there are 2 guys having a full on brawl. I'm 6,2 and very broad shouldered, but these guys were taller and ripped as hell."
"As I approached a 3rd guy, just as large as the other 2, comes out of a room with a knife yelling 'get the f'k off him'. I stop a ways away and just shout at them. They all stop immediately and look at me. I'm getting ready to run for it when they all just deflate. Knife guy drops the knife, the others let go of eachother, they all hang their head, and one mumbles 'I'm sorry.' under his breath."
"They looked like a bunch of toddlers who had just gotten caught stealing cookies. I told them they would have to leave right now, or I would call the police, and they all just nodded. They followed me onto the elevator, and spent the whole time apologizing and pouting while I escorted them out. I have never seen a situation go from 100 to 0 so fast."
– Vypernorad
Standoff Over A Girl
"Some guest was in the parking lot, waving a gun around & threatening to shoot up the place, resulting in a tense stand-off with cops for about an hour before they finally took him down (alive). The impetus behind the whole thing? He, his buddy, & the buddy's wife had gone out that night with the intent that the wife was gonna let the gun guy f'k her up the a**, but she got cold feet at the last minute and they locked him out of the room when he got mad. So, yeah, he was so drunk and wanted to tap that a** so badly that he decided to threaten a whole hotel."
– throwtheclownaway20
Kitchen Brawl
"High strung cook had an argument with a-type bistro attendant. It just kept escalating to a pull-apart brawl when a kitchen knife got involved. The pair crashed through the swinging door and was rolling on the carpet when the regional manager just happened to be walking in. Cops were called, I think both got fired or arrested."
– The68Guns
These items left behind by former hotel room occupants are not your everyday pick of the litter.
The New Employee
"I have a friend that owns a small motel just off a highway. I would hang out with him and chat on some late nights. One night, he got a call that one of the guest heard a loud crash in the room next door. Checked the computer and saw that the room was unoccupied. Friend and I go to check it out. We knock and there is no answer. He opens the door and there was a cat in the room."
"It knocked over a lamp and smashed it. It was super friendly and came right to us. We took it back to the office and looked at the room records. The prior person that was in the room abandoned the cat when he checked out three days earlier. He was already on the other side of the country when we called him, and he said he was not coming back for the cat."
"My friend took ownership of the cat and now she is the motel cat. She walks all around the property and takes care of any mice or critters. She even has her picture on the wall as one of the 'employees'. Not sure why the maid service did not see it when the room was being cleaned. We think that the vacuum scared the cat and she hid somewhere. Still was a dick move of the old owner to leave the cat behind."
– mrsheikh
"Someone left their boa at ours. Who knows where it was hiding when the housekeepers cleaned the room, but when the next guests checked in and crawled into the bed, it was under the pillows. It scared them SO bad. We had to call animal control to come get it."
– bittyitty
Is It Alive?
"Found one of those black fuzzy caterpillars in a room. I carried it outside, oh so carefully not to lose it. Put it down on sidewalk and it didn't move. I picked it back up to make sure it was alive and realized it was someone's fake eye lash."
– Love-Dizzy
People are wild.
A Whiff Of Senior Sex
"When I was 15 I was a bus boy at a local resort (Little America, Cheyenne, WY). Occasionally, the restaurant I worked in would ask one of the bus staff to deliver room service to one of the rooms, they always asked male staff for safety reasons."
"On one occasion I was asked to deliver a tray to a room. I took the tray to the room and a scantily clad woman answered the door. I never went in the room but could see there were about 8-9 men and woman in their 60’s-70’s (almost all of them nude) in the room. . . even at 15 I knew the room smelled like sex. I remember I was tipped well."
"Went back to work, no one ever asked how things went and I never really mentioned it to anyone because I didn’t think anyone would believe me."
– wyoflyboy68
Ask And Ye Shall Recieve
"Probably not the best story to share on politically-correct Reddit, but I also worked room service in my late teens. There was a female waitress in the restaurant that constantly complained about the males-only policy for room service. After weeks of being chewed on, the hotel manager finally relented and let her carry every other order. She lasted 2 weeks before she said no more and quit doing room service."
"I saw my fair share of sexcapades, but she was getting the full-frontal nude creepers ordering one drink at a time. Poor girl wasn't prepared for all of that. This would have been late 1980's."
– PantherChicken
Sure, a getaway in a nice hotel is always something to look forward to.
But based on some of these stories, ignorance is bliss.
That doesn't keep me from peeling off the bed covers that are presumably never washed and keeping my shoes on in the rooms I've booked for vacations.
After all, who knows what remains trapped in all of the fabrics and draperies?
If only hotel walls could speak.
Reddit user Deepanjon asked:
"What's the craziest thing a child has ever asked you?"
Don't take my word for it, lets gather evidence from these fine folks.
When You Were Young
Getting Old 30 Rock GIFGiphy" 'When you were a kid, did they even have electricity? Or is that new to you?' ”
"I’m 22???????"
- injury_minded
"My granddaughter asked me 'Was there color when you were younger?' ”
" 'Ummmm yes there has always been color.' "
"I died. It was so innocent. I love that kid."
- FlaOwlLover88
"My 5 year old asked me if we had rocks when I was a kid."
- vonMishka
Catloaf
"Dumb, but truly adorable."
"I got a new kitten and was taking him to the vet. He was sitting in the loaf cat position with his feet tucked all up under him in his cat carrier."
"Little girl comes up to me with a look of genuine concern."
“ 'Hello, excuse me, I’ve never had a cat, I just have a dog (points over at her dog at the vet) and I just wanted to know if you brought the cat to the vet because he doesn’t have any feet?' ”
"I picked him up and she saw his feet and was SO RELIEVED."
- sensualsqueaky
Verbal Decimation
"I was verbally decimated by a 9 year old. ZERO comeback."
"I was hanging out in my friends garage and his daughter came out from the house, and told me that I looked just like her teacher."
"I responded, 'Man, Your teacher must be a very handsome guy!' "
"She responded "Well no, she's pregnant. Are you pregnant too?' "
"WTF! That was a perfect burn. ZERO comebacks."
"My friend was laughing his @ss off."
- CodeBluePools
Why Grandma's Not Dead
"My three year old nephew asked me how old his great grandmother is. I told him she’s 94."
"He asked why she hasn’t died yet!"
"Thankfully she, like a lot of old people, has a sense of humour about her mortality. When we moved this grandma out of her house, I was carrying a box down the driveway and she walked next to me saying:"
" 'Thank you dear. This is my last move. Next time I'll be in the box.' "
"She was also friends with the retired head of the classics department at the local university, and I was a classics major so I liked visiting him from time to time. In the last year of his life he lived in a care facility."
"Whenever I was leaving he'd say 'It's always nice of you to come visit us folks here in the departures lounge.' "
- asoiahats
Jesus The Homie
family guy jesus GIFGiphy"It wasn’t me, but my daughter."
"She was 4 when she met my grandmother, who was 68 at the time. By far the oldest person my daughter had ever met."
"Without missing a beat she turns to my grandmother and says.. 'Was Jesus friendly in person?' Lol."
- bellabbr
#28 Doesn't Always Work
"Not me, but my wife, who is Black."
"Kid: 'Your skin is so dark. Does it wash off?' "
"Wife: 'No baby, this is tanning shade #28. You've only got shade #3.' "
'Kid ran too his mom and said he wanted to go outside and get a #28."
- BigdoggyTN
"My toddler asked me why I was part black. (We are both very white.)"
"I asked her to clarify and she pointed to a mole on my arm and said:"
" 'Your skin tried to be black right there but it didn't work for your whole body.' "
- NeedsMoreTuba
Playing Games
"Because I'm a 27-year-old man who is 4 feet tall and has disproportionate dwarfism, I get a lot of funny/weird child encounters as they try to figure out who I am."
"One of my favourite interactions occurred when I was waiting for a friend who had gone to the restroom in a shopping centre."
"I was going about my business when I spotted a young girl, perhaps about eight years old and already taller than me, peering at me from a few yards away. I didn't think much of it (things like this happen all the time), so I just smiled to myself and kept her in my peripheral view."
"I was caught aback as she stormed directly towards me, an irritated expression on her face:"
" 'I know you're not an adult,' she stated when she got to me. 'Stop playing games!' Just as her embarrassed father raced up behind her and yanked her away; extensively apologizing to me."
"I was taken aback, and then I burst out laughing. I'm going to have to work on my disguise..."
- bonniejfox
The Old People Conundrum
Michael Cohen Yes GIFGiphy"When I was little I remember asking my grandma:"
" 'Are old people smart because they're so old they've had time to learn everything, or are they stupid because they've had a lot of time to forget everything?' "
"She laughed in my face. I thought it was a legitimate question."
- Adelmas
"The answer is 'yes.' "
- scalablecory
During The Diaper Changes
"I work in childcare, mostly with very young children."
"While a coworker was changing a 2-almost-3s poopy diaper (there’s always another certified adult within seeing/hearing range while doing diaper changes or any other more delicate things; child abuse prevention measures!) I hear him say 'ow!' ”
"Coworker says 'I’m so sorry, I have to get the poopy off your little penis so it doesn’t get a rash! Would you like to take a wipe and help?' ”
"And the child responds 'No Ms, not little penis, BIG penis!' ”
"He asked me after he came out from the bathroom: 'I have a big penis right? Right?' ”
"100% told mom about it and she was howling with laughter. Sounds like he’s been hanging out with his older brothers or something!"
"Also my response to him was: 'oh, I’m taller than you, so you are just small to me! Like your hands are smaller than mine!' "
- immabadit
"My 3 year old boy, completely out of the blue while changing his diaper: 'I have BIG peepee!' Heavy emphasis on BIG."
- VisionsOfTheMind
Candy-Colored Gnome
" 'Are you real?' ”
"I was working at a movie theatre, and at the time had pink and blue hair. Also I am just over 5’ and have been told I look like a cartoon character."
"I think the kid had just fallen asleep during a movie and was kinda groggy, then this little candy-colored gnome with a broom walks by and she just needed to check."
- DelsMagicFishies
Point proven, but we're not done yet.
Lets turn it over to the comments, shall we? Tell us the kid-est thing a kid has ever said to you, let's expose them for magnificently hilarious little beasts they are.
Kids are amazing.
Birds and the bees, attack
"We’ve talked about sex with my 11 & 12yo kids relatively openly over the past few years. Told them to ask me anything, anytime, and I’ll give them a straight answer. And then one day over dinner, 'When was the last time you and dad had sex?' For the sake of the children’s future imaginings, 'That’s something I can’t answer'."
" I think they thought I just couldn’t remember, so my then 9yo said to the one who asked, 'Duh! 9 years ago, and then I was born.' Yep, uh-huh, that’s right, kiddo'."
-Gantzish
"My sister's 9yo got the talk and said, 'Do you and Daddy have sex?' 'Yes.' 'Oh. ... Where?' She didn't know how to answer that one lol"
-floorwantshugs
Add it to the will
" 'Can I have your tv when you die'."I had just bought a big new tv and my cousin was over. I has 23 at the time, but kids being kids, see anything over 20 as ancient lol"
-Papa_Smurf87
"My 6 year old asked me the other day if we could have my parents' house when they die. Except instead of just saying 'die', he said 'When they, you know, slides finger across his throat DIE'."
I was like dude, that's hella morbid. Freakin kid says 'What?? We've all gotta go some day!'."
-Platypus211
"Remember it and include it in your will someday."
-Pokabrows
Telepathically
web series comedy GIFGiphy"6-year-old kid: 'Hey, watch this!' "
"blank stare for something like 10 seconds"
"Kid: 'Guess what?' "
"Me, bewildered: 'What?' "
"Kid: 'I was talking to you inside my head!' "
-maleorderbride
"I did this to people when I was a kid lmao"
-Cambuhbam
"I remember when I discovered what thinking was"
-genZhippie
You will help me!
"To wipe their butt while already bending over holding their butt cheeks open. Incredibly uncomfortable at a childrens birthday party especially since I was newly dating the person who brought me to it and this child’s parents were nowhere to be seen"
-BellJar_Blues
"Omg. Children have no shame! Do they need help with something? Are you an adult nearby? Then I'm asking you!"
"I volunteered at my daughter's class back when she was in kindergarten. Despite the room always having 2-3 staff member adults, the number of kids who came up and asked me to do things for them was astounding. Most of them had no idea who I even was."
" 'Can you tie my shoes?' 'Can you put my hair in a ponytail?' 'Will you clean up my mess for me?' 'Will you help me dig this hole?' 'Will you help me go the the bathroom?' Said no to that one."
"On the bright side, every one of them was polite, even the more rambunctious ones."
-Wonderful-Custard-47
Mmm eyeballs.
season 8 episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Asscrack of dawn, startled awake by a toddler hovering an inch over my face. Oh, is she going for a kiss? Nope. 'Mama, I want to eat your eyes?'."
"When I declined, she elaborated reasons including: they're beautiful, I think they'd be goopy, and I bet they taste salty. Was then quite upset that I would not let her 'even have just a taste'."
-InannasPocket
"Maybe you're well past this stage now, but I really feel like this should be leveraged any time she doesn't want to try a food for the first time"
"Something like 'you know, it's probably yummier than my eyes'."
-schmiggen
How does THAT work?
"I'm pregnant and my 9 year old daughter asked how the baby got there. I tell her the mechanics of it. She asks a few questions and then says 'wait, does that mean S/O did that to you?!' I said yeah. 'Wow, that's weird mom'."
-brunette_mermaid93
"Also pregnant, and my 4 yr old is very interested in how the baby gets out."
"'I'll go to the hospital and the doctor will help the baby out' worked for a little bit, but now he wants specifics."
-toocoolforgruel
Dad jokes.
Cute Dog Wearing Doctor Costume GIF by ViralHogGiphy"A little girl (possibly between the ages of 5 and 8) When I informed her my service dog was working (I'm horrible at ages), she asked me what I meant. I told her that he informs me when I'm sick.
" 'Oh, so he's your dog-tor!' says the narrator.
"To be honest, it's also a pretty telling sentence for that girl's future."
-maryjgilbert
"She’s gonna be a dad!"
-saviorofworms
if the aim is good...
"When I had my middle child, I called the eldest at his grandparents to tell them that the baby was born. He asked to tell him the story. I gave him an age appropriate version that mom's water had broken, we we went to the hospital and with the doctors help she came out. He went silent for a minute then asked 'Why didn't you let me use my slingshot to break your water balloon?'"
-imnotaloneyouare
"It's a good question. Why didn't you?"
-RolyPoly1320
Mammals Ice cream.
Thinking Reaction GIFGiphy"Actual conversation: 'Cows are mammals and they make milk, right?' "
"Me: Yes"
"Kid: Ice cream is made from milk, right?”
"Me: Yup”
"Kid: If walruses are mammals, too, how come we don’t have walrus ice cream?”
"Me: …………….”
-_Thosearentpillows
"I mean, my city has an ice cream place called Walrus Ice Cream, so technically we do..."
-only-if-there-is-pie
"Lol loosely related but I worked at an elementary school for awhile. One of my students had a book of drawings. She proudly showed me them."
"They were all caricatures of people as walruses. Ironman walrus. Jack sparrow walrus. Elsa walrus. It made my day, one of the funniest and most creative things I had seen."
-TurbulentLily
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Curious to hear examples of why people are no longer with their exes, Redditor into_the_void22 asked:
"What's the craziest thing an ex friend/lover has done to you?"
These Redditors found out they were not the other's "one and only."
WTF
"She met me for a date, went to go meet her parents. I had a beer with her dad while she went upstairs and f'ked her brother-in-law. Then she came downstairs and left with me to resume our date. I found out after the fact, got tested and dumped her a**."
– Sol-Blackguy
A Double Life
"Found out my long distant boyfriend of three years got married and had a baby while we were together. He was in my town every weekend... It was nuts."
– pyrexsony
The Therapy Failed
"Cheated on me. Then cheated on me again after we went to months of therapy. Then emailed my parents and told them I was bad at sex."
– lowlybananas
These exes revealed their true colors.
The Catfish Attempt
"Attempted to catfish me on blackplanet using a picture she manually snapped from a magazine as her profile picture. I could see the seem down the center of the picture. I knew it was her because she had a very poor grasp of grammar and she makes specific mistakes that no one makes. When we 'met' on the site, before I realized who she was, I asked why she was single. She stated that her ex died two years ago. Considering she pulled a gun on me in a prior instance, that may well have ended up being true."
– Agreeable-Ad-4791
The Squatter
"Got mail delivered to my house when she found out I was going to break up with her. Then wouldn’t leave when I did break up with her. I called the police and since she received mail at my house they said it was officially her residence as well. I had to call my land lord and have him evict me to get her to leave. Once she left he rescinded the eviction notice and I moved back in."
– armhat
The Early Morning Complaint
"Called me at three in the morning to yell at me and call me a wh*re for 'liking' a YouTube video by Dashie a month before."
–curiositykills33
Pot Calling The Kettle
"Tried to tell me she was pregnant when i broke up with her for being a compulsive liar which just confirmed that she was indeed a compulsive liar."
– DarthVader9696
Some exes thought violence was always the answer.
No Room For Negotiation
"Woke up from a heavy night of drinking next to my ex. She asked if I wanted to try to put a baby in her and when I said no, she pulled a knife on me asking if I wanted to die."
– onmysadboyshhhrn
Auditory Assault
"One time my gf at the time was staying over. I'd been at work late the night before so I wanted to sleep in. She tried to wake me. It didn't work so I fell back to sleep. So after an unknown amount of time (I was in deep sleep) she apparently lost patience. She put her mouth directly against my ear and screamed as loud as she could... A high-pitched horror movie scream. The pain was immediate. It's been about 15 years and my left ear (if I'm in a loud place) buzzes like I've got a wasp in my ear. It sounds exactly like a blown-out speaker."
– Crackracket
Sometimes We Make Bad Choices
"Had a girlfriend edit old Facebook messenger timestamps to make it look like I was cheating on my new girlfriend."
"Would like to say that my taste got better but I got stabbed after that by an ex."
– Tobadiahtheblack
Ouch
"Came over to my house and punched me awake because I didn't answer her phone call. Because I was sleeping."
"Oh and she stabbed me with a pencil."
– lotus38
A Dramatic Exit
"Ex Boyfriend just absolutely lost it when I had enough and ended things. He took my dog when he went back to work (away from home), told my parents I was suicidal so he had to know where I was, and when I tried staying at either of my parents' places, my vehicle would get vandalized."
"Threatening to take me to the police because he had someone do something to his house and demanded that I give him money because it HAD to be me (I was at the bar on the night in question). Blackmailed me for my dog, threatening that he was gonna have one of his friends shoot her, or that he was going to release her in traffic and if she gets hit it's my fault."
"My work had to create a plan where the building would go on lockdown should he show up as he was threatening that too. The final straw was when my brother left his phone out and my ex was non-stop calling it.... I picked up and lost my absolute sh*t. I found a place to rent, told nobody (not even family as my dad thought I was being dramatic and should forgive him because he's a good guy on paper; yeah that man can be another post), and somehow made out all right but drank a bit in this time."
"My mom sent me a picture one day of my dog in her house, I hauled a** to her house. She will never admit to it but I think she paid him money so I could have her as she was important to me. Now, she is snoring in bed beside me 6 years later."
– MajesticCanadian92
What's With The Dognapping?
"She made a key to my house and stole my dog after we broke up. She then called me and told me she found said dog running loose in my neighborhood. Neighbor had it all on video. Dog was very confused."
– Saltwindandfire
Sneaky Time Capsule
“'Helped' me pack. Knew I was putting things into storage. Put RAW chicken into a Rubbermaid with appliances they knew I wouldn’t open for months…."
– bellcait
Violent Concert
"She attacked me with a ukulele, while screaming."
"We had been arguing, heatedly, and she went to another room. I assumed she was just getting some space and cooling off. A moment later she came running out of the room, screaming and swinging a little guitar at me."
"We didn't break up then, but eventually did and that incident was the main reason. However, until then I could never be calm if she was in another room."
– Absurdionne
Let's end the thread on a positive.
Sometimes, the "craziest" things done by an ex are not always abusive.
Gift That Keeps Giving
"My ex donated a kidney to me, it still wows me how she decided without even a moment of hesitation. Great person for sure."
– theoldcollegetries
The most disturbing thing about a person not taking a breakup well is that it unleashes a side of them that was only indicated as hints of a red flag.
The good news is, the display of someone violently unraveling after you break up with them is a reminder of why you never should have been with them in the first place.
The bad part in all this?
Well, that would depend on whether or not the person you broke up with is prone to stabbing you with a pencil in a moment of unbridled fury.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Either way, these spontaneous decisions are made on the fly without properly assessing the consequences until it's too late.
Curious to hear some examples of this online, Redditor saebyoekishotfr asked:
"What's the 'wait, that's illegal' moment in your life?"
These incidences revolved around illegal substances.
Fungus Among Us
"In Canada, cannabis is legal. An adult student of mine, at the end of the course, gave me a baggie of 'magic mushrooms' as a thank you gift. Surprise gift!"
"I thought they were legal, too."
– loveandrubyshoes
The Mini-Meth Lab
"Yesterday actually. My little brother was out in the woods and found a mobile meth lab tied up in a tree (basically a bunch of supplies to cook/smoke meth all shoved in a bucket) and for some reason he brought it back to the house. I called the sheriff's department to come pick it up because wtf am I supposed to do with that, right?"
"Well two deputies came out to my house, wouldnt touch the thing, so finally I put on gloves and opened it up so they could see what was in it. They took a little case full of pipes and told me to just figure something out with the rest of it because they didnt want it in their car. The solution they finally came up with was for me to transport a bucket of methamphetamine in my personal vehicle (because I drive a pickup truck) to the closest gas station and dump it illegally in their dumpster. So yeah that was sick."
– thecoolvaletguy
Work places have a lots of rules, but these questionable violations were conveniently overlooked.
Just Sign Here
"My manager signed off on a bunch of made in China security access controls and optical sensors for a Made In America construction contract."
"At an airforce base."
– RedCascadian
Skeptical Boss
"I worked at a company for 3.5 years and while working there I lost one of my parents unexpectedly. I was in terrible condition emotionally after the fact. I asked for a leave of absence for 1 month to get my sh*t together. The boss 1st said they didn't believe me - so I gave him her death certificate.."
"Then he said 'Don't you think your family needs money more than anything right now?' So, I politely got up and went to my locker and packed my sh*t and have never looked back. The betrayal of the company on top of the loss put me into severe depression. Lost my house and struggled for years to be get back on my feet. About 2.5 years later I found out that him denying me that time off was grounds for a lawsuit but I was outside my statute of limitations.."
– DamageParty101
Legal Transformation
"I worked in aerospace, which uses a lot of EDM oil that is delivered in 55 gallon metal barrels. When the barrel is empty it’s considered hazardous waste, unless you cut off both ends, then it magically becomes a pipe that can be thrown away in a regular dumpster."
"Hell of a loophole."
– Jaws_V_The_Return
Working While Sick
"Everytime my wife's company denies her sick leave and tells her she needs to come in. I really wish she'd just stand her ground, go get her doctor's note, and just wait to see they have no ground to stand on."
– Codmando
When it comes to animals and laws pertaining to them, these Redditors had anxiety.
Nautical Visitor
"I was snorkelling in Hawaii and a sea turtle swam up from underneath me like flat against my stomach. It was very cool, but I panicked because if you touch them there is a huge fine. I kept trying to push it away from me but it kept bumping into me, I was like 10, I was convinced I was going to jail."
– EmperorJJ
Hero Or Criminal?
"Technically I have committed a felony....by moving a turtle. It was in the road but legally this species of turtle are not allowed to be touched and moved because it's an invasive species in my state as well as it's an endangered species in general. So there's that."
– Desperate_Estate7674
Sick Bird
"There is a bird dicease in my country, which makes it illegal for pet birds to walk around outside because they might spread the dicease. But our chickens got so old, and now we only have one left. I let her out today, it broke my heart seeing her all alone in there, confused of being alone and not being let out."
– FlamingoJames
Others shared their miscellaneous experiences about forgetting what was illegal.
Visibility
"In Washington, it's legal to drive a vehicle without a windshield as long as you have goggles but it's still illegal if the vehicle doesn't have windshield wipers."
– KeyProtection7
Publicly Drinking
"I lived in Asia for a long time where drinking in public or inside a convenience isn’t illegal."
"Back in the USA, however I was buying a beer at a 7-11 and didn’t even think twice about cracking it open right after paying for it. The clerk immediately shouted, 'what are you doing?'”
"At first, I thought it was a payment issue and I told him that he just saw me pay for it, so what’s the problem?"
"He whipped out a brown paper bag and tossed it to me. Thats when I figured it out"– AgentCC
Are these case naughty or innocent? These Redditors had a gut feeling it was the former.
Questionable Photos
"15 year old me taking a picture of my then 14 year old gf nude. Forgetting about it, finding an old phone 10+ years later, scrolling through old photos... I see that one. Given that her and I were together 11+ years at that point my instinct was just to think 'wow she looks so young here'... few seconds go by... wait this ia tehcnically chi... frantically deletes photo."
– Daramun
Revealing Search History
"Oh God that reminds me when I first started trying to find porn. I wanted kids my age and welp.... Ya that sh*t was illegal."
"Glad I never found any. Cringe at the search history back then now tho. My poor parents....."
– BooksAndStarsLover
NSFW Archives
"i was just hanging out with my best friend a couple weeks ago and we were talking about our past relationships and hook ups. she then goes on to tell that some guy she did some stuff with when she was 15 and he was 17, took photos of her. She said that she completely forgot about them until he reconnected with her over discord as a 24 and a 26 year old. He was like 'i still have those photos of you by the way ;) wanna see them??? ;)' I look at her and i’m like uummmmmmmm you realize that’s child porn right? like you understand that this person has literal child porn of you that he probably looks at a regular basis or at least has it easily accessible?? that was f'ked up to find out."
– ma1645300
So are you the kind of person that "conveniently forgot" about an activity being illegal, or were you in a situation where you weren't thinking and made an innocent mistake?
We'd love to hear of your momentary lapses in judgment.
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You may want to read on and find out the answers Redditor Bartos565 got when they asked:
"What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen in a strip club?"
WARNING: NSFW descriptions ahead
Patrons had their expectations annihilated.
Display Of Character
"On Halloween I saw a stripper dressed up as Patrick (inflatable suit version) grinding on a pole."
– vertigo-1996
Cavity Inspection
"Stripper went all around the stage getting on all fours right in front of a small group and giving them a flashlight. She then spread her cheeks and wanted the guys to aim the flashlight and peer inside of her. It was so weird."
– TheShoot141
Not Everything That Happens In Vegas Stays There
"Glitter gulch in Vegas. Holy sh*t was that place rough. Saw a dancer out of her mind of something crawl to the stage, crawl around said stage, stare at a guy for half a song, then crawl back to wherever she came from."
– theoopst
Different Kind Of Blow Job
"A girl in NO took out her nipple piercings, replaced them with matches, lit the matches and had one of the guys in our group blow them out."
"Holy Tamale I won't forget you lmao"
– Yoshable
These Redditors got the best seat in the house. Because they suddenly found themselves actually becoming the seats to be sat on.
There Goes The Tooth
"The girls dragged my buddy onto stage and sat him on a chair. The biggest girl there slammed her a** down on him so hard his false tooth popped out and they had to turn on the lights and everyone was looking for it. They gave him 2 free shots, one to say sorry and the other to put the tooth in to disinfect it."
– someprickinvietnam
Up Close And Personal
"A stripper asked me if I wanted to see a trick. I said 'sure,' and she proceeded to do a handstand on my knees and booty bounce my face. Pretty sure I got whiplash that night."
– tstrickler14
Are the following theatrics interactive or invasive? You decide.
Scent Of A Woman
"An old guy who was a regular would give big tips just to sniff a dancers a**."
– garyda1
Impressive Feat
"Stripper asked me if I had a problem with feet, and I honestly replied ‘no’ before fully thinking it through. Next thing I know, she’s using her feet to remove my glasses, and place them on her own face. Then she takes them off, and puts them back on me, again using only her feet. She was very polite, and I’m sure someone would have paid big bux for such an opportunity, but it was mostly just surprising to me."
– franklin_1717
A Mouthful
"First time in Tijuana the guy on the sidewalk by the entrance offered my friends and I a free beer just to get us in the door. We went in and sat down."
"Two girls came over and one immediately sat on my lap, the other one was like a translator trying to get me to pay her for a dance."
"I turned to my friend to say something and mid sentence the girl on my lap put her boob in my mouth."
– rickyg_79
Flavor Of The Month
"Not so much the dancers, but the female bartender served a shot called 'the dirty O' it was the bar rail run off that she stirred with her finger, after fingering herself."
– justrees
America's Favorite Cookie
"Not seen, but I did have a black stripper ask me and my then spouse (both white) if we wanted to go in the back and make a reverse oreo."
"Edit: Y’all need to calm down. It was like 1:00 pm on a Tuesday and we had a coupon for free drinks."
"She gave me her card though. Do strippers usually have cards?"
– StelleSenzaDio
The Hottest Performance
"Not sure anyone will see this, but here it goes: I was in a strip club in Portland and the staff started moving chairs further away from the stage. The DJ said no one was allowed within 5ft. The girl came out and started fire dancing. She would light a toy on fire, and put it out. Light her vagina on fire. Put it out. All while dancing sexually. A dude gets up and hands her a dollar. She took it... And lit it on fire! Let it burn into nothing, and keep dancing. She was an absolute gangster."
– Oregon85
Some strip clubs fulfilled all the cravings–including hunger.
Major Convenience
"No joke, they had an Arby’s upstairs. It was beautiful."
"Edit: Quick clarification since so many people seem to want to know where this magical place was. I unfortunately don’t remember the exact address as this was just something my friends and I happened to pass by while going on a road trip back in college and decided to check out if there really is a f'king Arby’s in a strip club. What I do remember is this was somewhere in the Los Angeles area. This was also over 10years ago so there’s a good chance this place doesn’t exist anymore, but if you’re in the SoCal area and feeling adventurous I’d say go for it :)"
– TrinixDMorrison
Meat Everywhere
"The one time I worked in a club that had a steakhouse in half if it was AMAZING. Someone was always buying us food."
– xenowife
It Has Appeal
"She opened a bottle of beer with her vagina. Not a screw top bottle either. It was one you need a proper bottle opener for."
"Then another one shot half a banana across the stage. A few minutes later a little old cleaning lady came passed and swept it into her scoop. She took a couple of steps and then looked at another patron and held up the scoop as if to ask if he wanted to eat it. He declined."
"I'm sure you can guess this happened in Thailand."
– NevetsZA
The first time I got into a strip club while visiting San Francisco, I was both in awe and nervous. Up until that moment, I have never seen so many exposed lady parts in an environment where it was perfectly normal.
I was fourteen.
So when I got kicked out after my older brothers' friends snuck me in, the bunny waitress caused a scene and rightfully cursed us out of the room.
I'm sure seeing a pimpled teen with a Shirley Temple being thrown out was the weirdest spectacle those patrons have ever witnessed at their favorite local hang.
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