"What are the most annoying corporate buzzwords or phrases you’re sick of?"
How, exactly?
"Take a more holistic approach"- MGM1312
Don't give me adjectives, give me the amounts!
"Competitive pay."- AJackOffAllTrade
Not Everyone Loves Their Family...
"'Our workers are part of our family' or something along the lines of that."- NotJoeMama727
Season 8 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphyThat Wasn't In The Job Description
"'We all wear multiple hats around here'."
"I hear this everyday."
"It's just an excuse to not hire anyone else."- ChurchWineDrunk
Don't Sacrifice The Grammar...
"When someone refers to a request as an 'ask'.”- Alpha_State
Life In The "Fast" Lane...
"'Willing to work in fast-paced environment'."
"*ends up in cubicle*."- Raven0uss
Over It Reaction GIF by jjjjjohnGiphyWhere Do You Even Begin?
“'OK guys, we’re going to stay off-line today, take a deep dive to drill down and ignore the low hanging fruit, run some ideas up the flagpole and bubble the consequences to the top of the heap'."
"'The bottom line, according to the hive mind, is that we have to circle back, not reinvent the wheel, and reach out to make sure our deliverables are on everyone’s radar'."
"'Let’s not step on each other’s toes as we touch base, so here’s a heads up, when you’re thinking outside the box, please make sure we’re singing from the same hymn sheet, especially in acurated B2B environment'."
"'We need to leverage cutting edge synergy while optimizing our innovative solutions, otherwise our newly on-boarded micro-influencers will never disrupt the market before the deadline reaches terminal velocity'.”- poxymoron1
Or "Rockstar" Anything...
"'Rockstar developer' fortunately seems to be declining."-Tbone139
It's Not Attractive To Gloat...
"Win win win."
"My companies execs have started saying that for anything that's good."
"Firstly people said win win for something that was good for both parties, this makes sense."
"One popular exec said win win win once for something that helped us, our third party partners and the customer."
"That's fine as a one off and a good play on the original expression."
"But now every exec says it's a win win win when something good happens."
"They're not even a win win, just something that's good for one party."- NotACockroach
Winning The Office GIFGiphyI Should Hope So!
"We have values."- Jakaple
With workplace culture being monitored more than ever, it's understandable why some old school bosses and CEOs want to be more with the times.
As a result, they might choose their words very carefully, maybe too carefully, in an effort to impress their employees, not to mention the public.
However, there might be an even better way of doing that.
By simply being a good boss.
Redditor Spec1alistInFailure asked:
"What corporate buzzwords/phrases make your skin crawl?"
the times
"In these unprecedented times...'."
- NFRNL13
"I want to go back to the precedented times."
- edlee98765
"It’s been 2 years."
"I think a precedent has been set."
- tom267
"In these now very well precedented times...'."
- Paddy_Tanninger
job (lack of) description
“We are looking for a dynamic and enthusiastic team player who is confident and adaptable."
"Responsibilities include supporting senior leadership and taking responsibility for duties and workloads as assigned."
"You’ll be a member of an exciting and fast paced team working in a challenging environment.”
"YES BUT WHAT DO I DO?"
- Electronic_Rub9385
Giphy"Don't forget this nugget, which I saw on a job posting last week, 'Exhibiting courage in the face of ambiguity'."
"Pretty sure that's code for 'You won't know what to do and will have to figure it out in the moment. And it might make you question your integrity'."
- PrincessJos
"Or it means 'You'll be getting conflicting orders from multiple levels of management that all somehow answer to each other but there's zero accountability, so no matter what, your choice will be wrong, so you might as well do whatever you decide is best and take whatever vitriol is thrown at you'."
"'Right to work laws apply, employee can be fired at a moments notice but employee must provide 2 weeks notice if they intend to terminate employment'."
"'Masters Degree desired'."
"'$18/hr'."
- loptopandbingo
"WhY dOeSn'T aNyOnE wAnT tO wOrK aNyMoRe?"
- ikindalold
Is there a slow paced one?
"Fast paced environment..."
- llcucf80
"Aka: 'you'll be doing the work of two or three, but only getting paid for one (barely)'."
"Source: I worked in a 'fast paced environment' for nearly five years. I had a nervous breakdown and panic attacks, and am now on anti-anxiety medication."
"My old boss was like 'don't be afraid to drop a few balls' then fired me after saying that after 5 years I was 'no longer a good fit'."
"She also told me that I should be empowered to know when to say no, but then always told me that I wasn't doing enough to help the other members of the team if I said it."
- Darwinian_10
Giphyunderstaffed
"'Rightsizing'. It means they're going to fire a bunch of people and dump all that extra work on those who remain."
- Coogles
"As in 'Merge departments. Ah, too many people now. Let's fire the undesirables'."
"Wait a bit. 'We're going to split up the department'."
- Tokugawa
"Yeah, funny how 'right sizing' never translates to hiring to meet a higher workload."
- tris_majestis
"No, because you don't need a friendlier sounding euphemism for 'exciting growth opportunities'."
- Mijal
I prefer the classics.
"'Rockstar'."
"As in 'we're looking for rockstars' in a workplace that is as far removed from guitars, moshpits, and headbanging as possible."
- PM_ME_FOODIE_SPOTS
"Usually, the Rockstars are the best of the best. However, Rockstars cost way more than most companies budget for them."
"They want a Rockstar on a high school musician's salary."
- Jethris
"'Looking for a Rockstar employee'."
"Well you got it boss, I will gladly drink all day and show up hours late on a regular basis."
- BananaDictator29
"Rockstar, superstar, guru, and all-star. I've seen them all and it feels kinda childish."
- Rigel04
"Don't forget ninja. Or actually, let's please forget about ninja."
- regcrusher
Giphy"I know."
"There are fully grown adults going around calling themselves these names to help sell marketing books."
"So embarrassing."
- AndyVale
"The more cutesy the term a company uses for employees, the worse they treat them, in my experience."
"It’s doublespeak. I actually viewed them as red flags when I was looking for low-wage customers service jobs, in a tier."
"• Crew/associates/agents: slightly obnoxious but okay, because these are true and pretty much the same as employee."
"• Teammates/partners/family members: bad because they imply that you’re on equal footing with the corporate employees who very much view you as a replaceable piece of equipment."
"• Rockstars/champions/cast members/sandwich artists, etc.: the fact that they have to try so hard with these cringy terms shows that they have nothing to offer. These are usually bottom of the barrel, last resort, short term jobs."
- KATEWM
headwear
"'Wear many hats'."
"Aka do your job and other people’s jobs as well."
- throwaway28236
"Yeah, my last job at a ~200 employee company was network admin, system admin, cloud admin, voice admin, desktop support, etc..
"If it was IT related in any way, it was on my plate. I don't miss it."
- EvlMinion
Giphy"This is usually smaller companies doing things on the cheap, or who can't afford to pay more."
"In my InfoSec days a recruiter LinkedIn messaged me with an opportunity. It was basically CISO, Security Engineer, Penetration Tester and Vulnerability Manager, and a one-man SOC all rolled into one role. Salary £50k."
"That was taking the piss. With the right experience those jobs each are worth more than £50k, the CISO can run into six figures for a good one."
- _spookyvision_
Can I be disowned?
"We’re a family here."
- morphinemso4
"See also: 'You’re not an employee, you’re a partner'."
"'But you still basically make minimum wage. We’ll give you stock options but you won’t make enough money to actually take advantage of those stock options'."
"'Also, you will only get 29 hours of work a week so we don’t have to give any benefits. Oh yeah, and there is no profit sharing'."
"'But you absolutely must refer to yourself as a partner. Now go put on a green apron and make me a f'king Frappuccino'.~Howard Shultz"
- OrchidBest
"Associate is my favorite. You're not even a partner, you're just associated with us in some way."
"'You know, doing the one thing our customers care about paying for, but we'll make sure you get as little money as possible'."
"Me, bitter? Why yes, yes I am."
- Grabnor
It's not easy being green.
"Using 'sustainability' like it is some newfound concept. Bonus points for using it incorrectly."
- FYLBingB0ng
"I do some copywriting for clothing companies and basically if they aren't disposable after you wear them twice and are overpriced they market themselves as sustainable."
- johnbugara
"There's a Levi's ad out now that basically is 'Save the world by wearing Levi's, because it doesn't wear out in a week'."
- Squigglepig52
GiphyThis should have been an email.
"There are many diabolical buzzword bingo winners, but none more diabolical than 'let's regroup in...'."
"That means there is going to be yet ANOTHER of those interminable, time-wasting, meaningless hot-air spewing, MEETINGS in your not so distant future, and you'll be lucky if it only messes with your WORK schedule and doesn't threaten your lunch hour or quitting time."
- Reddidundant
And...
"Annoying phrases (conference call, webinar and Covid-19 edition):"
"This is a living breathing document"
"It's a fluid situation"
"At the end of the day..."
"It is what it is"
"At the end of the day, it is what it is"
"I could care less"
"2 a.m. in the morning"
"Irregardless"
"...puts the onus on..."
"You can't make it up"
"In a vacuum"
"Let's put that in the parking lot and revisit..."
"Adding 'gate' to the end of a word to describe the current scandal"
"Non-military 'boots on the ground'"
"I'm not married to that idea"
"I want to piggyback on that point"
"Telework is no longer necessary"
"Stand down"
"A nothing-burger"
"In these crazy, unprecedented, trying times..."
- Jadakevy
GiphyHas your paradigm shifted?
Are you feeling synergistic?
Or did we miss your least favorite corporate lingo?
Share your own done to death phrases in the comments.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
DuPont chemical was one such company that caused grievous harm to an untold number of people through corrupt business practices. A compound used in manufacturing their Teflon was found to cause cancer and other issues in rodents decades before they did the studies to show similar in humans. Thousands of people have been affected, drinking water contaminated, loss of live stock, and irreversible environmental damage has been done.
However, it took an extended period of time between worker complaints of the toxin and action being taken. Although there have been monetary payouts, the company still functions making their products today just now hiding as a subsidiary of the Dow Chemical Company (DowDuPont).
Sometimes the corporate corruption runs too deep to be fully resolved. Redditor Chillay_90 wanted to hear other workers all too common encounters with serious corruption.
They asked:
"What's the most corrupt thing you've witnessed your employer do?"
They fled the country…
“At the first company I worked at the general manager had all his personal expenses paid by the company. His wife also had a company credit card and was paid a salary but she didn't work. The company paid for things like their groceries, house mortgage, car payments and family vacations.”
“The kicker is he wasn't the owner of the company. He had a creative accountant that hid these expenses but the owners became suspicious and they hired an auditor. It took them about 4 years to figure it out. He was fired and his family fled the country so I am not sure what happened to him.” optoph
She was a Mc-A**hole…
“A few years ago I was working/living at a McDonald's in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. The area manager decided to ‘save’ the store so she became very... involved... in its day to day micromanagement. One payday morning she made an announcement that, because everyone kept coming in asking for their checks and bothering her, she would be giving them to us when she felt we deserved them.”
“I called the local Department of Labor, who referred me to the state, who referred me back to local, who then told me they just didn't care and weren't looking into it. It eventually resolved itself anyway when she handed checks out the next day.” twistedlemon732
Do not work for free!
“I've had a couple that try to pressure you to work off the clock, without actually asking you to do so in order not to get sued. Suckered some people into doing it, if they complained after the fact they got canned. And by that I mean they got all hours cut until they were forced to quit so they couldn't file for unemployment."
“I just made it clear I wasnt playing their games in the first place. First time they tried me I was like 'I n't that working off the clock?' And they were like 'ohhh no no, of course not! We're not asking that at all, just looking for volunteers!'"
"I can't volunteer. Do you want me to stay, clocked in, or go home since my shift is over?"
"Oh well... I suppose you can go home. We'll figure it out"
“Needless to say, they did not like me much after that and made working there a living hell. Cut my hours to low numbers, but not altogether. But I had already asked my old boss if they'd take me back, which they welcomed me back with open arms. Only reason I took the new job was they paid like, 3 bucks an hour more. But obvs not worth it if I'm expected to work for free." Reddittoxin
Warranty scam…
“I was a mechanic that found out that the company was not letting me fix customers cars that had oil leaks when the customers had paid for a 200k mile warranty. The manager would tell the service writer to say that the warranty company declined it and eventually started making me take a photo to him so that he could tell me that the leak wasn't bad enough to fix.”
“The customer paid for a warranty and the company wasn't holding up their end of the deal because it was costing them money. They are one of the most profitable car dealerships in my town and now have 3 dealerships and are expanding.” Idontgetitbrah
Stealing workers tips…
“I was working at a small brewery / bar, and caught the owner dipping into the tip jar at the end of big nights. It was a new place that just opened and was kind of struggling during the off season. We literally had a staff of two bartenders and the owners (husband and wife), so the bar staff would pool and split that days tips.”
“Come to find out that he was taking a cut of the tips because "he worked there too". When I confronted him, I explained that its actually a violation of the FLSA. In fact it's even an exact example listed as illegal things to do with tips. He argued that it was his right as owner and fired me, so I reported him to Dept of Labor.” Rustee_nail
Political and corporate corruption go hand and hand.
“I used to work at a place that was owned by an organization with some political affiliations. There was a rich Middle Eastern investor who owed my employer money. Literally millions from a contract that they simply never paid.”
“It was quite a sensitive issue and one that everyone really wanted to keep out of court. Some negotiations took place and the investor agreed to pay but in return, wanted a spot on the board. Everything was agreed, the guy would pay and then there would be a big party event, with some press, for his appointment to the board.”
“At any rate, a few weeks before this was supposed to happen, the head of my organization became very ill and needed surgery and was gone for several weeks...the big party where the investor would become a member of the board had to be delayed. It turns out, our big boss wasn't actually sick at all and did not need to have surgery.”
“Actually what happened was, the head of the organization that owned my employer was running for political office and was worried about the optics of the whole event (only being able to get this rich middle eastern dude to pay us what he owed by putting him on the board and granting him a bunch of power over the organization) and basically ordered our boss to feign a long illness that would require the event to be delayed until after the election.” mejok
“if they asked you to work extra they would delete hours…”
“Worked in a restaurant that didn't allow employees to work over 40 hours as they did not want to pay any overtime. Instead of you wanted to work extra or if they asked you to work extra they would delete hours off of your time card to keep it under 40. They always asked you when they did that in a kind of hush hushed way so it wasn't exactly without permission but I think it was bullsh*t all the same.” cloudstrife1191
“stolen a combined 400 hours from eight people…”
“Growing up my father always told me to save my pay stubs and time receipts. I ended up working a job in my early 20 's at an airport moving cars. I get my paycheck one day and i realize that it's not right.”
“So i do a little digging, and a lot of math, and i figure out that the company was taking hours from me. I ask around and it turns out that they were taking hours from literally everyone at the job site. After doing more math we figured out that over the six months we all worked together, the company had stolen a combined 400 hours from eight people.” 42spuuns
So you get fired for that?
“Had a job out of college selling yellow pages advertising. A big part of the job was just renewing the old adds in the book and we had to call each business to have them renew their ad.”
“But as the yellow pages book became more and more obsolete more customers would cancel their ads. So the company changed the policy of having us call each business and instead put in a policy that any customer who didn't specifically call to cancel would be auto renewed.”
“Then they would purposefully send out the renewal notices late enough that the customers couldn't cancel in time to avoid the following years charges. If one of us did actually get a call from a customer looking to cancel and with time to legitimately do so and we actually cancelled them....fired.” totspur1982
Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Knowingly exposed their workers to asbestos…
“I work underground in the mines. One place started having, what the workers found out later, was asbestos type rock in the ore. The company took samples of it and then said it's kind of like asbestos, but it's not old enough to harm you.”
“Later after a bit of more concern from the workers, it was found out that the sample they took came back as inconclusive due to something else. They lied and allowed their workforce exposure to asbestos. I quit after that and found work elsewhere.” Chillay_90
Part of the healthcare conspiracy…
“Work for hospital, largest healthcare co. In that area. There was a situation where a doctor was involved in a law suit and I had to testify to some stuff. At the attorney's office I observed that THE ELECTRONIC MEDICAL RECORD OF THE PATIENT HAD BEEN ALTERED COMPLETELY. Everyone's notes had been changed. Scared the sh*t out of me. I realized then that no one really has any power except the corporation itself.” mxrichar
Some manual planned obsolescence…
“I worked for a pump company, We repaired all kinds of liquid pumps, from the little sump pumps you drain your basement with to the 2000 gallon per minute sewage pumps.”
“I was rebuilding one of the large pumps and the boss came in as I was assembling it, he came over to the bench and picked up the main bearings and took the seals off of the bearings. Essentially, it keeps trash out of the bearings to extend bearing life.”
“ He looked at me and said, ‘The warranty for a repair is 18 months, that's how long these bearings have to last. I buy the ones with the seals in them because they're cheaper and they look good on a itemized bill. So if these bearings last for 20-36 months, I'm losing money. Pull the seals out of these before you install them.’ I never did, f**k that guy. He was a piece of sh*t on so many different levels as well.” JomadicallyWondering
They missed the part in the Bible about giving away their riches…
“Worked for a Christian ministry that was fully funded by donations and run by volunteers who had to raise their own support. The CEO used donated funds to take his family overseas for vacations, to purchase 50% of a new vehicle whenever he wanted, to pay for golf trips for himself and his friends whenever he felt like it, and to help his children (who were also at the ministry) with house payments. Also forced the volunteers in the evenings to do childcare for his grandkids so that he and his children could go out to lavish dinners on the ministry.” GandalfsFavDwarf
Racism in the workplace…
“My first promotion at my first job included interviewing applicants if the manager needed help and I jumped at the opportunity (which should have been a red flag for a 30+ manager giving an 18-year-old that kind of early responsibility). It was sales and according to her she hired almost everybody 'but if you need to make choices, I tend to skip the black people because they don't do good in sales and don't know that many people'."
“I was f**king speechless, I didn't know what to say though and was afraid of losing my first job. At first, I thought maybe it was a really racist bad joke because English is not my first language but that b*tch was dead serious. I just picked up my materials and set up but I eventually quit and reported her to the corporate offices and BBB after hiring every person that came in for a job that week." s-p-a-r-k-e-r
“we had all been being poisoned…”
“I worked in a restaurant and an employee began having breathing problems on shift. She went to the ER and was diagnosed with carbon monoxide poisoning.”
“The owner didn't think it was from the restaurant (despite the fact that the employee was on shift for five hours and went straight to ER) but after several weeks of complaints from this employee decided to put up a CO detector. She put it out on Saturday morning at open and two hours into the shift the alarm went off.”
“She picked it up and rushed it into the back stating that it was malfunctioning. She refused to put it back out. Two weeks later and everyone was getting sick while at work. The owner denied that anything was wrong and refused to acknowledge that employees were getting sick.”
“I called OSHA and after an inspection it was determined that the HVAC unit was pumping CO into the restaurant and we had all been being poisoned. The owner was very upset that she had to pay to fix the heating unit and "couldn't believe someone would do that to me" (call OSHA).” noh8tred
“got shocked by 220 volts a few times…”
Shocked Ash Ketchum GIF by PokémonGiphy“I worked for a signage company as an installer, some of the signs had LEDs and required the transformer to be connected to a mains cable. In South Africa its law that if you're dealing with electrics you have to be qualified, obviously no one that worked there was.”
“So like a dummy I just connected the main cable to the transformer for any signs I installed, and got shocked by 220 volts a few times, before I left I saw an invoice to a customer that I just installed a sign for, and the owner was charging the clients for a professional to do the electrician work. All the while I was doing it.” southafricabest
Profiting off illegal baby formula…
“When I was 20 I was working in a supermarket. At the time I was working there there was a global shortage of baby formula (milk powder.) The town where our store was located had a leading formula factory not even 5mins away. So we always had it in stock, and usually more than other stores. Even though we were only allowed to sell people one container at a time. So every once in a while I would walk back to where the freezers and loading area was.”
“And every so often there would be a van parked up by the open doors, where only trucks are allowed to load and unload the carts of products. The van arrived empty, and it left filled up with, you guessed it, baby formula. Followed by this driver wandering through the stockroom to the service desk and making two consecutive transactions because the maximum amount you could pay in one go was 2999.99. I think my boss's franchise was shady as hell.” Highway2022
Someone needed to call OSHA…
“I work in a MNC, and it is mandatory for each factory of the company around the world to share and report to HQ if there is any accident happen. In 2016, there was an accident happened where the finger of an operator was cut and bleeding previously, because the PPE implemented wasn't up to the standard for the task."
“Luckily it was flash wound and not an amputation injury. The factory treated and gave paid sick leave to this operator and reported this accident with action plans to prevent this from happening in the future."
“Few months later, a new plant Manager joined Mr. BA, started with our plant in 2016. He will soon be the most corrupt sob in the plant. Almost every year since 2016 there was at least one minor accident happened, and he will ask his subordinate, the HSE manager to keep quiet and not to report to anybody."
"Every single year he and the safety manager will proudly report to us all that the last accident was in 2016. There was an accident happened during Social Accountability audit, when the auditor was reviewing documents in the office."
"A maintenance guy's arm was sprayed by hot glue and got second degree burn, they will ask the maintenance guy to keep quiet, secretly go to ER, and come back to work the next day (as they don't want a loss time) and surprisingly, the maintenance guy follow this instruction."
"Another accident happened when an operator accidentally had his tip of a finger chopped off by a machine and also, no report. Until today, the factory proudly report every day, it has been 1800 more days since the last accident." beary12345
Higher Ed. had a lot to hide…
“I've worked in higher ed my entire career this far and particularly in some Ivy League schools so yikes I don't even know where to start…I can think of a few examples of students actual civil rights being violated and also someone embezzling over $100,000 from funds set aside for students with disabilities off the top of my head.”
“As corrupt as those things are though, they aren't the worst. I would argue that across the board in higher ed, the most corrupt thing is the coverup. The bigger the university, the more they try to hide these literal crimes to protect their reputations.” Ghostridethevolvo
Corruption everywhere…
“I have a few. I worked for a company who once took our Christmas bonuses and donated them to a family with a special needs child 'in our name'. We later found out that the mother of the special needs child was the cousin of the owner of our company but this was never disclosed to us by the owners. I don't mind giving to charity, but the way they went about this was super sketchy."
“Okay, last one. I had a side job with a small TV station and one day my paycheck bounced. I went to the owner, who claimed it was a mix-up and gave me cash. Then it happened again. I go to the HR girl who tells me that the owner of the station likes to gamble at the casino with the account used for paychecks. Quit then and there." AlanaDev
Perhaps the most concerning thing about these experiences, outside of victim impact, is the fact that most of these white collar type crimes are rarely or minimally prosecuted.
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Remember "Heaven's Gate?" A group of 39 people participated in a ritualistic suicide in 1997 because they believed that by ending their life, they would board an extraterrestrial spacecraft to take them to "Heaven's Gate." Yeah, that constituted a cult.
So it stands to reason cults, in general, remain highly controversial.
Sometimes, however, the bizarre rituals and demands of an organization can feel like a cult, even though they are not.
Curious to explore this concept further, Redditor FlintTheDad asked
What's something that's not a cult, but feels like a cult?
Corporate Cult
Certain corporate cultures can be oddly suspicious.
What Is SalesForce?
"It's a customer relationship management platform, in the parlance. It's a database for logging, accessing, and connecting work information, e.g. a sales lead, the quote, the correspondence, the sales docs, the budget, the implementation team, etc., etc. Companies attempt to use it as a be-all end-all management tool and stretch it beyond its capabilities."
Cutting the BS
"Salesforce. No, I don't want to build a community, go hiking or join a hundred online classes to learn the basics. Make a couple of well-explained, to-the-point training videos ffs."
Cult-Adjacent
"Under Armour's corporate culture creeps me out. Companies should not have an official chant. I would consider them cult-adjacent at the very least."
Too Much Enthusiasm
"I agree, another one is Sunglass Hut. I was a sales manager for a year and a part time associate for a couple years prior while I was in school. At the first region meeting they 1. 'Strongly encouraged' aka forced you to donate to their charity... that they run... and make profit off of. 2. Made everyone wait in the lobby before letting us into the conference room, and the only way in was where the higher ups lined the doors cheering and screaming while music blasted and you had to high-five them all. (Of course this is pre-[the virus]). In general, they don't treat you like a human being, it's either act like a camp counsellor (enthusiasm levels) for minimum wage or you'd never climb the ladder. Spoiler alert, there is no ladder to climb. The whole company mentality is very cult-y."
Tech World
These Redditors thought tech culture in general bordered on the cult-y.
Be Popular
"If you are a tech worker - your job. Upper management puts in foosball tables, orders lunch and has off site things on weekends (which is a daycare nightmare for parents), and expects you to spend every waking minute thinking about your job and having a device ready to answer email at any time of the day or night. Then, they have quarterly layoffs where they sweep out the unpopular. Yet, they want your loyalty and insist you are family and blah blah 'cultural fit.'"
Graduate Magnets
"I've been at companies like this, and they suck. But also it's super easy to leave one company for another in tech, the skills are very transferrable and in demand. Those 'tech' companies, are really just some other business trying to attract tech talent by providing those amenities and taking advantage of recent grads."
"Most people I know out of school get a job like that, and leave for greener pastures shortly after. If they really cared about their employees they'd just fix what's wrong and listen to their employees."
Creepy Benefits
"I'm 27 and have worked some random jobs, a lot of places gave tried setting me up with women at work. And a lot of couples who've been there for a long time met there."
"It's creepy AF when your boss is forcing women to flirt with you, just so you stay at the job."
Financial Cult
Does it pay to be involved in these? These Redditors didn't think so.
Multi-Level Marketing Schemes
"Herbalife. In fact, most (if not all) MLM schemes."
"Some pyramid schemes are actually classified as financial cults by Cultwatch, so not far off!"
Pyramid Selling
"General knowledge is such that MLMs and pyramid schemes are very easy to identify and debunk, so they have to transform it into an ideology pretty quickly after you join."
"if you can convince your new innitiates that everyone else criticizing the Cause is against progressivism, and that you're actually fighting for a better solution to capitalism or whatever stupid sh*t, and that YOU are the TRUE core of the Cause, when people tell you the stupid cult you've joined is ridiculous, you will take it personally and it will re-enforce the us-versus-them isolationism that fuels cults."
"watching crypto currency NFTs go from a dumb meme made for trading racist drawings to an art auction platform that gets immediately debunked as a pyramid scheme exploiting tech-illiterate artists to 'we're revolutionizing art as a whole. we are a brand new system, a way for artists to be powerful and influential, we are changing the world, if you disagree with this you are LITERALLY a luddite that hates art, the world, and us' happened literally over the course of two weeks lol."
– No-Bewt
"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" Reference
"Nutriboom"
"Woah there brother. Your amino acid levels are looking dangerous lol."
"Ah yes! The power of financial freedom. Boom Boom!"
Homeowner's Associations
"Used to work in a gated community pool. Some were cool, but most were the most awful bunch of wealthy jerks. Never wanted to follow the rules or cooperate and their kids always acted like little punks. It also felt kind of incestuous as well because those people were occasionally sleeping with each other. Not in the pool. I would just hear the pool gossip."
Play At Your Own Risk
"The ticky-tac cul de sac built behind me has been trying to strong arm me into paying HOA dues ever since I put no trespassing signs facing them in my woods. The whole reason I did was due to their stupid kids playing in my woods, getting hurt, and then being blamed by them for having an unsafe yard. Dude, it's an acre of unimproved woods with sticks, stone walls, and 200+ years of random shit thrown in it. It's not a goddamn public park, so your lawsuit means nothing. I was here before your house was built - why would I want to join your HOA when one of the conditions is that you all have free access to my land? You can feel free to stop trying to complain about me to the city, because they know I don't care. How do you like the HAM antenna I just put up on the edge of my land? Oh, is that an eyesore, too? Good."
"Also, I have no idea where those noisy guinea hens came from. I think they wandered in from the other guys land that you've been trying to co opt so he gets rid of his pigs and turkeys. Yeah, that's it."
"Retired Fun Police"
"I moved from an over zealous HOA in Virginia four years ago because they were a nasty group of retired fun police. We recieved a notice that our yard had too high a % of crabgrass! They attempted to fine us $100 per month until it was rectified. We received said notice in November. My partner elegantly told them to stuff it. This was after five years of various infractions such as storing a garden hose under our lattice covered back porch, paint chipping off a railing, anti bird cages attached to outside vents, yard lantern either out or wrong color all with pictures showing how entitled they were to trespass when ever they needed more $ for their coffers. They notified my next door neighbor her mailbox post needed painting, it looked like everyone else's prior.. They're passive/aggressive way of pointing out a wayward residents was NOT putting an American flag on their mailboxes on patriotic holidays. LOL I recall seeing many in noncompliance!"
I once belonged to a performing group in which our director participated in an organization that claimed to improve people's lives as long as members participated in frequent group sessions and paid a high monthly tuition.
I was a kid, and while this well-being organization may have had positive intentions, the changing behavior of our director creeped us out. He was suddenly cold and not as enthusiastic as he once was with us in rehearsals, and we all blamed his cult for changing him.
When we raised a stink about it one time, the director decided to quit the organization.
I'm not sure if what he participated in was actually a cult, but my friends and I remain skeptical.