"Reddit user MonkeyGentleman420 asked: 'What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?'
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMintfalling GIFGiphy
Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy
In Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy
Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buckseason 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
There are just some hills we plant our feet on and pledge to hold out until death.
We have to put our money and influence where our mouths are.
And sometimes boycotting is the way to go.
If a certain clothing line uses child labor... and you care... as you should... you buy a different line.
I'm looking at you Kathy Lee!
You get the idea.
Let's hear what hills everyone is on.
RedditorSteelTookSteroidswanted to discuss all the things people will not support, no matter what. They asked:
"What's something you're boycotting till the day you die?"
I will not give my patronage to Chick-Fil-A. How you spend your support in LGBTQIA+ issues is important to me.
A Never ClickerAds on Ads on AdsGiphy
"Clicking on the ads that are at the top of my Google search. I will scroll all the way down to click on the exact same link."
I have no tolerance...
"Cable TV, I’m not going to pay $120 a month for something and still have it be 1/3 commercials, I spend half as much and have everything I need whenever I want it with no ads."
"Cable TV is so INFURIATING. I dog sit for my grandparents and their internet can be god awful and I'm stuck watching their cable tv... I want to claw my eyes out everytime. It's legit mostly commercials. I have no tolerance for it anymore."
'taking what you can get'
"My wife hasn’t been in a Walmart in 20 years. I admire her commitment and they are starting to feel the pressure."
"Same. 'No ethical consumption' etc aside, Walmart is contemptuous of its customers as well as its workers. It's stunning how few people they have running the stores now, and that hurts customers AND workers, as well as the level of actual service. What's the point of having department counters when they're all empty?"
"The quality is nonexistent, getting groceries is an excersise in 'taking what you can get' because they intentionally limit their selection to maximize return on bulk orders (hence, half an aisle of mac and cheese for instance), and the 'here's a pallet, grab it or whatever' method of leaving half-opened shipments of groceries in the aisle has turned the whole place into an uninviting supply depot. Only way I walk back into WalMart is if the zombies rise."
but never again...
"Grubhub, for making me suffer through that cringy ad."
"For me, Postmates. They didn’t bring what we ordered. Then I called them, they said they can’t rectify it. Then after a long back and forth whoever was there spoke to their manager, and said fine, they’ll do it this once, but never again. So guess who is never again getting my business. I can’t just pay for a service and not receive it, obviously."
GrossKylie Jenner Selfie GIF by ADWEEKGiphy
"Forbes for calling Kylie Jenner a 'self-made' billionaire."
I am so over the any name with a K at this point. And all because of that family.
Not Them!the loud house trash GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"Nestle bottled water. (Also, yes Nestle anything, but they own so much it's hard to avoid, f**k their water program in particular)."
A slightly more legal pyramid scheme...
"MLM companies. I've had to cut old friends out of my life due to this."
"I'm a small business owner and sell at a lot of markets - literally every market is chock full of scentsy/Mary kay/paparazzi/etc. I don't support MLMs as a rule but I also have to befriend the Mary Kay lady and the pampered chef lady because they're the head of the local small business coalition. MLMs aren't small businesses though IMO."
"Microtransactions in video games. Not even once!!"
"Same. At first it was for principle. I shouldn’t pay a bunch of extra money to get to play the game when I already paid for it. Then it became out of a slight fear. Met a few ppl once that said they spent 6-10k a year on those transactions for a free mobile game. They said so casually to that I realized how much of an addiction it can become."
"Right on! Too many friends and classmates I grew up with are gone now because of that sh*t. Just lost another one 2 days ago, man. Breaks my f**king heart."
"They had kids and everything, and now they're without fathers, mothers, or both. It hits even harder when you thought they were getting on the other side of it and you were rooting for them. It's crazy to look back and remember them as kids, and just like that, they're not here anymore. We're all only in our 30s. This isn't ok."
Back off Ron...crazy tom cruise GIFGiphy
"Yes! I worked for a place that forced me to take L. Ron Hubbard courses! I had to take a whole course on how to control people in a workplace!"
"Uncle Ed’s oil shop. They damaged my car when I was 17 and then tried to tell me I was lying to them and my story changed. It never changed and the ended up sending it to a mechanic to fix their mistake. I’ve never used them since. I’ve also told countless people this so who knows how many potential customers they’ve lost."
"I’m on my 6th year of boycotting Facebook. Looking forward to the day I’ve boycotted longer than I was on it."
"I'm on year 4. Lord give me strength. Own two businesses and thankfully my employees take care of fb messages. Damn I hate FB. It's full of nothing but happy stories about shitty/toxic relationships and ads and garbage."
"I had one pair of Nike shoes and the back part of the inside by where my heel/ankle is got worn open which happens to most of my shoes but there was this sharp bit of plastic in it that would literally cut my foot and make it bleed. I now will not buy them ever again because of that, sucks because I already was picky with sneakers and now I avoid a while brand."
Over Itthe mask time GIFGiphy
"Award shows, they're all boring and most of the time are rigged."
When in NC
"This one gas station, when I first moved to NC I would buy beer every few days (I was 21 and lived with fellow young connoisseurs of cheap beer) and they had no problem then this new guy denied me for out of state ID, and he was rude AF about it, told me to put the beer back and told him to do it himself, it's his job. Walked next door and bought my beer. Looking back it's petty but seriously there was no need to be rude."
TWO DOORS DOWN
"Old age nursing homes. They left my 89 year old granddad with Parkinsons sitting in a shit filled diaper... for seven hours straight. He yelled out for help and pressed his emergency life buttons twenty times in total. They was no reason the staff wouldn't have heard him, as a large group of them were sitting on their phones just TWO DOORS down from his room at the time. The smell was so bad we had to leave his bedroom windows open for a week, and most of the poop was crusted by that point."
Send it Back
"Wayfair. I ordered a poker table from them and after three months all that happened was that it went from one of their warehouses to another of their warehouses. When I canceled the order, they charged me a $250 fee to send it back to the original warehouse."
Ticked Off...Hungry Lets Eat GIF by TikTokGiphy
"Tiktok. It’s not like I’ll completely ignore my friends that show me funny ones, but I refuse to download the app and get sucked into it like so many people have."
"We’re renting in an HOA and they sent us a fine because our nine-year-old was 'vandalizing property by throwing large chunks of ice at cars and houses.' There was video. He had thrown a snowball at his friend 20 feet away from property. His friend threw a snowball in the general direction of the parking lot."
"His second 'offense' was 'damaging traffic cones.' Someone kicked one over near the bus stop. I ripped the HOA a new a**hole and our landlord threatened to sue if they ever pull that bulls**t again."
Does Scientology even exist anymore?
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I know what I know and I know what I feel... and that is all.
What a way to live. Conviction in belief is everything.
But it is astonishing to see what conviction people are willing to take all the way.
Politically, culturally, medically... everyone has a list of a few things they swear to be true, no matter what the opposition says or can prove.
What beliefs are you ready to fight for?
RedditorFunWithAPorpoisewanted to hear from everyone what opinions they would take to the end, so they asked:
"What's the smallest hill you'll die on?"
Movie theaters are always going to be better than streaming.
The experience is never the same, can't say why, but it's true.
"Girl Scout cookies are not as good as they used to be." ~ BossMagnusGiphy
"Squeeze the air out of a Ziploc bag before you put the bag in the fridge or freezer. I don't understand why my wife doesn't and one of these days I'll have a decision to make." ~ lookielikeaman
"ANY bag related food product that isn't crispy/fragile... bread, veggies, marinades. If it's a tricky one (like chicken on the bone) you can submerge the bag in water up till the tie off point/zipper and seal it that way too. We will die on this small bump of a hill together friends." ~ Joboxr87
"Actual physical push buttons are way better than sensor buttons. (Like the xbox 360 sensor buttons)."
"Edit: I have recently been informed that they are called tactile buttons (physical) And haptic buttons (sensor) So thanks for the bit of knowledge and the awards!" ~ I_Grimmly_I
"Kind of a similar thing:"
"I'm wanting to get a new car soon, and it drives me nuts that most cars nowadays have touch screen controls. In my current car, I can change the radio station, turn up the fan, switch to A/C all without taking my eyes off the road because it's all knobs and tactile buttons." ~ ac_hrt
"If you (person A) pull open a door and someone (person B) is wanting to come through from the other side, HOLD THE DOOR AND LET THEM THROUGH. Similarly, if you are the other person, don't dilly-dally, WALK THROUGH. Because the alternative is person "
"A awkwardly trying to pass through whilst struggling to maintain holding the door open, leaving person B waiting awkwardly for them to finish. Happens a lot at my office in the corridors and it does my head in." ~ IglooRaves
"Speaker phone is not meant for using in public." ~ omgimfauxrealGiphy
Speaker phones should never have been a thing.
That is a truth.
We have moved past so much.
"'Frozen' isn’t a Christmas or even a winter movie, t is literally set in the summer, a big part of the plot is that everyone was unprepared for the summer freeze. I will die on this hill." ~ Autumn1eavesGiphy
In the Water
"Polycarbonate water bottles don't contain any dangerous amount of BPA. It's a marketing ploy by
3m Eastman to force people to use lower life cycle plastics. Tritan cracks at 2 years old, and polycarbonate lasts at least 20 years. They know polycarbonate is safe because we haven't stopped using it in high impact kitchen appliances like food processors and blenders."
The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh MyyyBefore we all had caller ID, wrong numbers phone calls were commonplace. But now that almost everyone screens their calls, it's wrong number texts that have ...
"They created a crappier plastic that hurts the environment to make more money. Cheap canned goods are literally lined with BPA. Polycarbonate bottles have f**k all to do with humans BPA exposure. If you own a polycarbonate water bottle keep using it, it has no BPA on it after the first time you wash it."
"Source: MS mechanical engineering focused in polymers. One of my profs posted a few papers on this." ~ miices
LETS LOOK IT UP.
"Macaroons are not macarons. One has coconut, and one is a sandwich cookie." ~ picoCuries
"I remember in high school my entire class argued with me about this. Macaroons are the little coconut things, while macarons are the pastry cookie."
"I argued with my entire social studies class about this including my teacher, before finally he said LETS LOOK IT UP. It’s not like I got anything out of being the only person right, but damn does it feel good to prove 30 other people wrong! At least they all know the difference now." ~ wonderinglady20
"If you are on the highway and you try to move over two lanes to sneak into a packed exit right before the guard rail, you have already missed your freaking turn. Go to the next exit and turn around or try another route. Before anyone brings it up, no, I am not talking about merging."
"I am talking about seeing a long line of people waiting to get off an exit, and you breaking the law by crossing solid lines to cut in because you couldn't be screwed to read the signs for the last two miles telling you which lane you need to be in for your exit." ~ D3moknight
"Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip are not interchangeable, they are drastically different." ~ b0nk3r00Giphy
I am team MAYO.
And macaroons are my enemy.
I have more opinions, but let's save those.
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Sometimes the conversation and thoughts that come from a mouth, baffle me.
And what is most surprising is people's confidence. They just say whatever is rattling around in their brain.
And they "know" they are right! But what they are espousing is utter crap.
Someone come get my jaw from the floor.
RedditorGuyWithAScuffedLifewanted to hear about some of the words that have fallen out of other people's mouths that left many of us shook. They asked:
What is the dumbest thing someone has said with full confidence?
I recently overheard someone discussing how the Earth is flat. In 2022, well almost, in this day and age you still believe that?
Here Kitty, Kitty...Cat Sup GIFGiphy
"Not sure if this counts, but one time my little brother walked up to me and awkwardly asked "is the cat dead" as he held our cat, who was purring." ~ Electrical_Ostrich_4
"I have heard a story of a small child who was terrified that they had broken the cat because it was vibrating. Poor kid." ~ Educational-Candy-17
"I don't eat cows, I eat beef." ~ siren_nymph
"I've heard a similar one from my sister at our local state fair, "We don't bulls, we eat cows." Said as we were standing in the beef cattle barn full of bulls." ~ Da1UHideFrom
"Humans are the only animals that drink the milk of other animals, it's unnatural and disgusting." Said by my friend who ordered extra cheese on every meal." ~ shaidyn
"My friend told me if you had a test with 101 questions and you got them all wrong, your score would be a -1. Yeah, I'd love to see the grade calculators handle that one." ~ Trouble102134
"I was taking Cell Biology in college, which was a large class because it was a requirement for pre-medical students. It was also deliberately and infamously hard, because it was meant to weed poor students out of the pre-med program. The final exam average grade was typically around 40%, which was severely curved to make 40% a C+ level grade."
"I was not pre-med, and actually liked biology, so I studied my butt off for that final, then went home for the summer. I checked my online grade two weeks later, and it said "Incomplete" so in an absolute panic I emailed the professor."
"He said, "You got the highest score in the class, and broke the curve calculator spreadsheet, so I had to report your grade as Incomplete, and then submit a paper grade correction form through the Dean's office. It should take a month or so, so don't panic, and follow up with me if it takes any longer than that to appear." ~ ThadisJones
DO at home...
"That being diabetic is something you can DO at home, and an addiction that is not suitable to DO when in public. Yes, someone told me that in full confidence." ~ Emile_the_rat
"My mom (type 1 diabetic) went through something a few years ago that made her have to prove that being diabetic is a constant health concern."
"They actually asked her to record how much time she spent on "diabetic things" per day so they could see if being diabetic took up a significant portion of her day. She was able to convince them that being diabetic still affects her even when she's not pricking her finger. It was such a weird request." ~ t3hgrl
GeographyBill Nye Spinning GIF by NikeGiphy
"My roommate once told me we were in South America. We live in Canada." ~ renklo
Wow. Just wow. So far, after reading this, I'm even more thrilled to be a recluse. And Canada is always trouble.
Info WarsThink Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"Informed people don't make better decisions than uninformed people. That's a myth." He wasn't joking." ~ Siryl7001
"A woman yelled at me for parking a car with a handicap tag in a non-handicap spot. She believed that I had to park only in handicap spots." ~ ocrohnahan
"Haha!!!! That happened to me too. Also, because I have multicoloured walking sticks and purple hair and dress like an old hippie, I was informed that my walking stick was only a fashion statement. If only." ~ Rosieapples
"A coworker of mine once told me that any animal could reproduce with any other animal, that DNA wasn't important and that all sperm was the same. She believed this because she once saw a litter of diseased, deformed puppies and had decided that they must be half rat." ~ Hypersapien
That's what my koi did...
"I thought the turtle would eat algae. That's what my koi did." The baby turtle was kept in a small glass bowl without algae. It also didn't have UV light, and was fed shrimp, the turtle equivalent of living on desserts. I got it a perching spot in an aquarium, UV light, water heater/thermostat, and real turtle pellets."
"This person otherwise comes off as fairly bright, and sustains himself with his own businesses. The differences between fish and reptiles apparently didn't really hit him." ~ FlavorD
Bladder Issuesfamily living GIFGiphy
"In my sex ed class in high school, we had an assignment where we had to name all the parts of the male genitalia and this one girl said (with a nasty attitude, night I add) "men don't have bladders!" ~ Elle-mic
Think before you speak. Even if it takes you a minute and people stare. Just try to be more cognizant of language. That is a message to us all.
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Most people have a set of principles that they try to live by, making decisions based on these self-imposed rules.
These can vary from person to person, and culture to culture, but there are generally some common themes like kindness and moderation.
For example, many folks try to live by what is often referred to as "The Golden Rule":
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Reddit user u/kingfish asked:
Try to make a small positive impact whenever you can. One nice gesture can go a long way for someone.
The golden rule (treat others the way you wanted to be treated). I was very unfortunate in the family department. All I knew when I was younger was I never want to be like them but I have no idea how. Thanks for my schools for applying the golden rule. It helped me figure out a way to think the way I wanted to and hopefully be a decent person.
Don't half @ss two things. Whole @ss one.
I can't change the past but I can change my future
"Everything in moderation, including moderation" is honestly my favorite life motto.
Once you get it into your head, everything suddenly becomes easy.
If you have an opportunity to be kind or unkind, always choose kindness.
Integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.
Never stop learning.
Regardless of how trivial something may seem in the immediate, it will almost inevitably be useful sometime in the future.
The 80/20 rule. Doing something very good (80% level) takes 20% of the effort, the final 20% (to get to perfect) takes 80% of the effort.
Stop trying to be perfect. Instead of sinking a ton of effort into doing a few things perfectly, go around doing bunch of things very good for 20% effort. People will think you're a god.
Also stated as "don't let perfect be the enemy of good".
Accept who you are now while also continuing to be a better person than you were yesterday.