Redditor Ad3quat3 asked:
"What’s an insult that sounds like a compliment?"
Ah, family...
"My uncle once said to me 'Nice tattoo, did you do it yourself?'."
"It's on my back."
- mikkelfromthegalaxy
GiphyWhat do I usually look like?
"You clean up well."
"Wasn't sure if compliment or insult or even how to respond."
Lord, it's hard to be humble.
"You are very modest and have much to be modest about."
- Gitaarfreak
Who else?
"Did you REALLY do that?"
- justthatrandomartist
Stay home next time.
"Thanks for coming!"
"You know, you really didn’t have to.”
- Little_LexiYT1
GiphyHow highly?
"No one could possibly think more highly of you than I do."
- sandyposs
Who cares?
"I love how you just don't care how you look."
"I could never do that I'd feel too awkward."
- meme_squeeze
GiphyDepends on the person, right?
"I hope your day is as good as you look!"
- tantoB
"I hope you get what you deserve."
- majesthiccbb
"May your day be as sweet as you are."
- twitterpated202
While some may consider it passive-aggressive, others just find these insults funny and clever.
So what's your favorite complimentary insult?
Compliments not only make us feel good about ourselves, but they also remind us to pay it forward and point out the positives in the people around us.
We could all use one especially now.
In the spirit of boosting one's confidence, Redditor strawberryguavas asked, "What compliment do you still remember being given?"
Fast Food Paramour
"I was two weeks into my first job in high school and it was miserable. The manager's personal life was falling apart and she was taking it out on us, most of my coworkers wouldn't give me the time of day, plus I had to deal with everything that came with working fast food, dealing with horrible customers etc."
"I was planning on quitting by the end of the week. One day I wore my hair to work a little bit different (I was growing out my bangs at the time and I left them down instead of pinning them back) and the boy in the kitchen told me it looked pretty."
"I assumed he was just trying to be nice and thanked him, he went on and said 'No, seriously, I think the clips are super cute and all, but... you really look great today.' Kept me from quitting that job. That boy and I are talking about marriage now. :)"
– xKvinnan
Best Pants Ever
"About 4-5 years ago a girl in my college class said I had nice pants. I looked at those pants like they were the cure for cancer after that day."
excited 30 rock GIFGiphyThe Music Prodigy
"I was playing a song I made up for the piano when I was like 10, and my new teacher walks in and asks where the sheet music is for it. I felt so proud."
Mr. "Smith"
"When I was in high school I was put in a special math class for students that weren't so good in the subject. We learned the same things but the class just went at a slower pace. I took AP English and History classes but math and science were essentially foreign concepts to me I guess so I kind of needed it."
"In 10th grade the math teacher my special math class was assigned to was Mr. Smith (not real name. Mr. Smith was the football couch and just had a reputation for being this very stoic and stern individual who many students were afraid of. No matter how much of a rebel you were, no one f'ked around in a Mr. Smith class."
"One day towards the end of the year, Mr. Smith told me to stay behind for a moment when I was leaving his class. After everyone left he told me that he just wanted to let me know that he saw how much I was improving and that he was proud of me."
"I left that class and almost cried. What he said was so simple but coming from him it meant so much. He never gave out compliments and always seemed like more of a tough love type of guy. I always worked hard for my grads and at that time I really needed what he said to me."
Tipsy Flattery
"A drunk woman at a bar was walking passed me and stopped and said 'in case anyone hasn't told you, you look really good tonight.' And then kept on walking. That was 3-4 years ago, still makes me feel good when I think about it."
– Skyloer
A Sweet Inquiry
"St. Patrick's Day, late, far from any parade or anything but I'm walking down the street by myself. A young man stumbles up, asks me if I'm gay. I say no, and the look on his face was like I just told him his parents died in a car crash and his dog was driving. He asked for a hug after calling me beautiful, and I happily obliged, correctly stating that it was the nicest thing anyone had ever or would ever say to me."
"Plus I thought it was sweet that he asked for a hug."
A Whiff of Confidence
"When I was about 15, very depressed and with body dysmorphia, my mum and I visited the perfume floor of harrods. I was there in a hoodie with unwashed hair and too anxious to speak to any of the staff. When we got to one of the perfume shops and sat down, the very gentlemanly salesman told me I had a beautiful smile. After talking a little with my mum and giving her a few testers, he gave me a tester he said I might like, and he'd written the name of the perfume on the card. It was called 'Love (Don't Be Shy)'. Always sticks in my head as being one of the loveliest interactions I've ever had, even though it obviously didn't mean anything."
– sealcrab
Stand Tall
"I'm 5'2 and petite. I know it's average, but I've always felt small. In college, an acquaintance and I stood up after class. She looked at me and said, 'I always forget how short you are, unincorporated. You have such a big presence."'
"Whenever I feel small, I think of this and stand taller."
The Grateful Widow
"At the conclusion of a church funeral service, the widow stopped by to see me at the organ console before proceeding to the cemetery."
"She said, with both smiles and tears, 'I want to thank you for your uplifting music. It made my husband's funeral a celebration of his life rather than a sorrowful occasion.'"
Cue the Tears
"Just yesterday, my step kids said to me 'Daddy's changed so much since he met you. He's a much nicer person now.' Ngl, totally teared up."
The Chopsticks Pro
"My Chinese (she was from China, came to US for grad school) roommate told me I was better at using chopsticks than her. I think she just meant I use them in a more formal way, but I don't care, I was super thrilled anyway. I loved living with her."
The Beautiful Organ
"After I had gone into the gynecologist because I had some worries about my iud being out of place (it wasn't, thank god), my doctor took a look at my x-ray/ultrasound and exclaimed 'You have such a beautiful uterus!'"
"I've never received such a strangely uplifting compliment and I'll never forget it lmao"
At the Zoo
"I was a teenager at the zoo, asked the ticket taker how much the ticket was, he said 'free for you cause you're so cute' I couldn't make sense of what he said thru the speaker so I asked him to repeat it and when he did I couldn't possibly believe that's true, so I laughed and said 'no really, how much is it?' My friends and I paid and were on our way. I am dumb."
The American Dream
"Not sure if this was a compliment but when I showed my grandmother my first office. She looked at me and said, 'this was the reason why I came to America and worked day and night in the restaurant."'
The Compassionate EMT Trainee
"I was an EMT and my first patient, as a trainee, was victim of assault. I talked to her the whole time and even when she cried, I helped wipe her tears. When I left her, she told me I was an angel and my two mentors said it was the best bedside manner they've seen in a long time. I will always remember that and it inspires me to keep going further into the medical field. I was seventeen at the time and now I'm twenty. :)"
Then, you should establish that the compliment actually should be given and can be given without you looking awful. Did I need to know that the dude at the bar thought my hair smelled good? Not really, but I'd have been open to the compliment on my product selection.
What I was NOT open to was having him grab two handfulls of my hair, bury his face in it, and take a deep sniff. Not a compliment.
One Reddit user asked:
Ladies of Reddit, what are acceptable compliments to receive from men?
And here's what we learned: "it depends."
Why does it depend? Mostly because women are human beings and, like all human beings, they're individuals with individual like and dislikes. Turn out, just treating us like people is the way to go.
It also depends on who you are to that individual woman. Happily married couples seem to have cart blanche to get weird with it, but the man who told 19-year-old me that I had leg like a horse - and meant that in a good way - was waaaaay off base with how weird his compliments could be. If you don't know her, comparing her to farm animals is probably not going to go over well.
Who knew?
Mood AF
A few weeks ago I had to do a 3 hr training at work that nobody wanted to go to, and like you would expect, it went almost an hour over. As we were all leaving I was talking to my friend about how excited I was for lunch, or something like that. He looks at me and says "you're the only person I know who could still be in this good a mood after THAT 4 hour waste of time"
It's the best compliment I've gotten in a while, whether he meant it that way or not :)
Don't Be Gross
ew dislike GIFGiphyJust don't be gross. Lemme explain with compliments/"compliments" I've received:
"That lipstick looks nice on you." 10/10. Made me feel pretty. No sexual undertone.
"I like flat girls." 0/10. Neggy. Don't care how you feel about my tits.
"Don't worry about having a big nose, it works for your face." 3/10. Also neggy. Suggesting a flaw is attractive to you doesn't make you special.
"Nice (item of clothing here), I love that (insert band/color/style/brand here)." 10/10. There's a guy at work who compliments a different piece of my outfit daily, without fail. I look forward to those innocent remarks and have started returning them. Makes me feel cool.
"You have such a cute laugh." 100/10. Developed a hardcore crush on him afterwards. Still remember that compliment three years later.
"Sure. Just wait until you're comfortable around me." NEGTIVE 100/10. Said after I remarked about being childfree. Suggesting that you'll impregnate me when I least expect it isn't funny or a compliment.
So, to summarize. Compliment appearance, not physique. Using backhanded compliments makes you look insecure. Relating to her interests (genuinely - don't force shit) is a surefire means of fostering goodwill between y'all.
"It's Not Weird, We're Married."
It entirely depends on what your relationship is to the woman.
Is she a complete stranger? ...then don't. Unless it's topical.
Is she a coworker, a fellow student, an acquaintance? Then ask yourself, what kind of compliments would you find acceptable from strange men? (i.e. away from compliments regarding her looks)
Is she someone you are trying to date? Compliments about looks are okay but keep them non-sexual until you know she digs you (e.g. "You look great," "are those new earrings? They're pretty.")
Is she someone you just started dating? Compliment her body, especially parts you know she's proud off (e.g "your booty is fine!")
Is she your wife or someone you've been dating a long, long time? Go nuts! (e.g, "I love your weird-@ss toes!" "You are sexy when you look at me like you're gonna kill me for letting the kids eat ice cream again!" "Have I mentioned that I love how you smell all musky in the morning before you shower?"). As I tell my husband: it's not weird; we're married.
Complimenting Her Skirt
Actual things said to me by men I work with in the same day:
"I like the color of your skirt!" 10/10, felt like I was walking on air until....
"Your legs look hot in that skirt!" 0/10 felt super slimey, never wore a skirt to work after that.
Judicious Silence
My personal rule of thumb for men:
If you are tempted to add any variation of the phrase "for a girl/woman" to the end of a compliment, just stop yourself before you hit that point.
If it's about how sexy we are in any capacity, just nope the hell out. Think about what you actually mean (i.e. "that color red looks good on you, and the cut of your shirt is very nice") and say that instead.
If you manage to f*ck up, just apologize and explain that you spoke without thinking. Own up to it. Sometimes, you may not have said anything actually offensive but brought back memories of someone who did. Just treat it like someone who can't stand the word "moist" when they eat. In other words, just respect your fellow human and try not to be an asshole.
Wording For The Randos
For men that don't know me and therefore can't compliment me on my personality, work ethic, etc. or who simply WANT to pay a compliment to my physical appearance, wording is important.
"Your shirt is really cool and suits you" is not a weird thing to say and does not give off bad vibes.
"That shirt looks great on you" is borderline. Not itself creepy but can be interpreted is referring more to my body and what you can see of it, but could also just mean my shirt is awesome and I'm rocking it.
"You look really nice" is relatively benign but also so empty and bland that I would probably think you're saying it exclusively to open a shallow dialogue and it's frankly boring.
"Wow you're gorgeous" is first of all not true I look like an ogre but in general is also just not thrilling to hear out of the blue. Like yes, everybody wants to hear that they're good-looking once in a while, but it gets tiring to hear it too frequently because it feels like that's all that matters, and if the last guy who said it then followed me for a block trying to smash, and last year a dude called me a b!tch for not being grateful enough, obviously I'm gonna be mildly worried that maybe you're also also going to be a d!ck and that sucks all the fun out the compliment anyway.
"Hey, have a great day" is just a nice thing to say to a passing stranger, and if she gets offended by that she's probably a b!tch.
Ultimately, don't comment on someone's body parts, but expressing that you think their style is cool is just friendly, and if you really just want to say something to make someone feel good, expressions of positivity are universally nicer than directed compliments.
Also, pay compliments to people you know, not randos on the street.
- Krellous
In Class
I had a classmate from middle school say that he remembered me because I "was the only one who could beat him at proofs on the chalkboard in Mr. X's class". He's a physicist now and I am a stay at home mom who never really developed a career.
Not sure if that was technically meant to be a compliment, but I couldn't see it any other way, and damn it made me feel good. Will always remember that.
A Threat
If you don't know me personally, compliments on my body or even just a "you're gorgeous" make me SUUUPER scared. Compliments from random men on the street, no matter how sweet, are always threatening because their sweetness can absolutely be used to guilt you into talking with them more or putting yourself in a vulnerable situation.
If I do know you however, I'll accept and deeply appreciate almost any compliment on my appearance, interests, or personality that isn't sexual (unless we're dating of course). A good rule of thumb is just to understand that we've all been brought up to see compliments from strangers as threats and to not be judgmental of us for that.
The Puppy Exception
dog come GIFGiphyTotally depends on the woman and the situation!
In the workplace, ONLY professional compliments are appropriate. And especially avoid anything appearance related, even clothes or hair. As someone else said, if you wouldn't say it to a male coworker, don't say it! For example, Great job on that report!" 👍 "That dress is really flattering" 👎
If you're complimenting a close friend, saying that dress is really flattering is probably fine, but avoid telling her what parts of her body it flatters, that's creepy.
If it's your wife, telling her her @ss looks fine in that dress is probably fine.
Self-Esteem
My husband once said to me out of the blue, "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would never have self esteem issues." Super sweet, candid, and I will never forget that for as long as I live. But he is my husband, so he is allowed to compliment my appearance. Any other guys remarking on my appearance is just creepy.
As many have said before, go with compliments that aren't based on appearances, or stick to non-sexual things. Complimenting a personality trait is a huge plus, because it's like the person is complimenting me, not my body.
Crash & Burn
Had a male coworker tell me that my place of employment would have crashed and burned without me.
That was a pleasant compliment that wasn't about physical attributes or sex and it was one of the most memorable ones.
That Wasn't It
Literally just today I had a customer go out of his way to tell one of my employees how hot he thought she was, and he kept coming back over to ask when she worked again. And then she and I had a whole discussion about how it's absolutely possible to compliment someone without making them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
And that wasn't it.
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But what? There are some things men may not really be into hearing. Like, do men want to know if they have a beautiful mouth? Is it only creepy when delivered by a bumpkin deep in Appalachia? Or is it a cringey compliment no matter who says it?
One Reddit user asked:
Men of reddit, what compliment would you like to hear more often ?
And honestly, it was way more wholesome than we thought it was going to be!
The Feels
Compliments that have to do with what feelings you're evoking in another person.
"You make me feel safe", for example, that's always awesome to hear.
This. Compliments on looks are nice, but were common when I was younger, and seem kinda insincere as I age. More importantly, looks aren't something I have much control over, so it's in the same ballpark as if someone said, "nice parents." I take them as intended, i.e. the person is making an effort to make me feel good, but they're kind of empty, like the junk food of compliments.
But "you're a good man" or "you're trustworthy/kind/hard-working/thoughtful/honest/etc" or "you make me a better person" ... Those are awesome. I feel genuinely proud of myself when I get those kinds of compliments, because I control whether they are true.
A Font Of Knowledge
"Your extensive knowledge of pre-WWII aviation makes me feel all tingly."
"I wish I could find a man that knows about 1960's muscle cars like you"
"I'm so turned on by your encyclopedic knowledge of 1970's progressive rock bands!"
"No one knows more about guitar pedals than you!"
NOO ONNE...mows like Gaston
In even rows like Gaston
Buys the premium grass feed from Lowe's like Gaston
"You must keep it hydrated while germ-inating"
Oh what a lawnnn...Gas-Ton!
- 5ees4aquarter
Lookin' Good
Any compliment about my appearance would be nice to hear more often, especially since I've never had one before.
I once told a distant coworker (he didn't work in the same department ) going through a divorce "oh I'm so sorry, well you're so handsome, women are going to flock to you"
He came back days later to thank me because "it meant so much to him, he's never gotten a compliment about his looks before and it helped his self-esteem to hear that" which is wild because he was actually handsome and what the heck his (ex) wife never told him!?
Men Can Be Beautiful
"You're Beautiful"
Can't describe why it hits so hard.
- Noishrol
"He is so BEAUTIFUL!" -My BFF and I whenever we see an attractive man. Never thought to say it to their face though, since I never wanted to be met with "I'm a man, I'm not beautiful." But maybe I will try it sometime. Thanks.
Complexion
Giphy"You have a really nice complexion"
Compliment I received 15 years ago and still remember it
I have acne scars and my husbands complexion is flawless. I tell him that, if I could, I would peel the skin off his face and plaster it to my own. Is this a similar compliment?
I love your skin!
For context, I've suffered with oily, dull, and acne plagued skin for years. 1 1/2 - 2 years ago I got inspired by the 10 step Korean routine and my skin hasn't looked better.
Why are women the only ones who get compliments on their skin? 😭
Aggressive Drivers Would Be Delighted
"In hindsight, I now understand that your lane changes saved us some time. Well done."
Provider
"I really appreciate all the hard work you do to make sure our family has everything we need... thank you."
- DeepRoot
You are an unsung hero! Your post made me think of my dad. He worked his @ss off for us and was a fantastic provider. Thank you for being there for your family!!
Loyalty And Wrestling
"I love how loyal you are."
I am loyal to any of my closest friends, almost to a fault. Some just don't pay enough attention.
"Your extensive knowledge of anything wrestling isn't nerdy, it's actually pretty cool."
I am a huge fan of wrestling, have been since 2003. I'd rather people compliment me on it than say shit like 'you know it's fake right'
"I wish I knew more people like you."
Dudes, I'd fcking love to hear that.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Extra Doable....
GiphyThis old man lived on my street, I would always say hi to him in the morning on my way out to work. Didn't know him outside that greeting. He must have been in his 70's.
Looks at me and goes 'You look extra doable this morning.'
I double timed it and stopped talk to him. Forgotmyshoesagain
Reaching 8....
Every day I ride the elevator to the top floor of my office building. One day a couple of years ago an attractive 30ish year old woman got on the elevator at 2 and pressed 8.
When she got on the elevator, she stared at my forehead the entire time. The elevator reached 8 and she literally backed out of the elevator and held the door.
Still staring at me, she blurted out:
"I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but that is the most beautiful toupee I've ever seen."
Then the doors closed without either of us saying another word and I've never seen her since.
Thanks I grew it myself. -Blixx-
At Disney once....
At Disney once, me and my cousin (I was 16 he was 15) were sitting on a bench waiting for the others to come back from the bathrooms, and a lady (prob mid-30s) Stopped and stared at us for like, 10 seconds, then she said "You guys are so cute! Invite me to your wedding!" Then gave us a business card with her name and stuff on it. He just silently put it in his pocket and then we both just started laughing, we told our 3 other cousins, but not the adults. KrunchyCandy
Yikes....
One time I dressed up as a zombie to perform the Thriller dance at my workplace.
Colleague came up to me, got real close to my ear, and whispered:
"You look great as a zombie. I'm a necrophiliac, by the way."
Yikes....
(Edited to add some context: This colleague was in a different department from me so we only knew each other in passing. He was also about double my age — I was 24/25 at the time and he was closer to late 40s/early 50s). Reddit
Bad Vibes....
GiphyA guy once remarked that I looked too young to be legally allowed to work. I told him I was 16 and he said he would have guessed 12 or 13 (I get this all the time and it pisses me off, but when in customer service smile through the pain). He then looked me up and down (taking an extra second to look at my butt) and said "You could do better than working here." And winked at me.
Not too creepy, but the vibes were incredibly off. whoeverthehell
"liked it that way."
First job at Starbucks at 16. Some older man probably 60's who worked at another store in the strip mall came in and told me I was so pretty and looked very "young and innocent" and that he "liked it that way."
He also followed me out to the parking garage one night when I was alone but didn't realize my boyfriend had come to make sure I made it safely to my car. He quickly left when he saw my boyfriend waiting at my car. Prison-mike23
In Your Eyes...
"I love your eyes! I can stare into them all day!" Proceeds to stare into my eyes for 2 minutes straight.
I'm a guy and not extremely lucky in the lady department. I'm not particularly choosy. But that one gave me the hebee jeebies. I didn't think women was capable of that level of creepy. But I learned that day! Jauxerous
Hands Free....
Giphy"you're like a pale Buddha."
Proceeds to touch my belly without notice. RollerKirbyDerby
Over the Table....
When I was 18, a old man bent down to look under the table we were both at and told me I had nice legs. I was wearing a shortish skirt. I guess it's not overly creepy but I felt so uncomfortable though. LittleMissCosmic1992
The Few....
Ugh. I have a few.
"You're very attractive... for a redhead. They're almost always ugly." ( man old enough to be my father)
"Are those your legs or are you wearing white hose?"
At a family funeral : "That dress is really wearing you - you look stunning. I always enjoy SEEING you" said by my husband's uncle as he hugged me WAY too tight and close and whispered in my ear. I kneed him and shouted my husband's name. He denied the whole thing. (He is a Baptist preacher and is on wife #5)
"If you ever need extra money, you can definitely sell your "wares" *wink - said by a complete stranger in line at Winn Dixie and he tried to hand me a card that said "Joe's Body Shop" uh, NO. Also, I had my 3 kids with me. oshaughnessygirl
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.