Redditor Haunting-Golf9761 was hoping everyone would be willing to share some intimate life secrets, by asking:
"Gay people of Reddit, what was the moment it clicked 'Yeah I’m gay?'"
I knew after an intimate evening with a woman.
It all just... made sense.
HER
starbucks pretty girl GIFGiphy"Looked at a girl and thought 'If I was a guy, I'd date her,' and realized I didn't need to be a guy to date her. I was not brave enough to speak to that girl though."
PeachLeech
THE GRIP
"2018 summer olympics. Realized I had been watching men's water polo, alone, for eight hours."
FallenFae
"I don't know why but this made me laugh. I’d watch men’s Polo, Diving, and Swimming and get amped. But like, I’d also be drooling over abs and butts."
shark_food31
"Lmfao this absolutely tracks. I'm bi AF and was OBSESSED with couples skating because everybody was so God da**ed beautiful and the chemistry was off the chain 🤣. The Olympics had a chokehold GRIP on me as a teen."
Lucky_Ranger
I Get It Now
"I'm bi, but I realized I wasn't straight while watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie when I was like 8-9. I was in the backseat on a long car ride watching on my portable DVD player. There's a scene near the end where Lizzie is on stage singing and the camera shot is behind her. I remember pausing the movie and staring at her butt for a good while wondering why it made me feel a certain way. A few years later I found my uncle's playboy magazines and it suddenly all made sense."
lovexnxpeacexox
Happy Star Trek GIFGiphy"An episode of Star Trek the Next Generation where they showed Riker’s hairy chest. I learned not only that I was gay, but a lot about my specific type of gay."
Santos_L_Halper_II
Gays in space. We're everywhere.
Oh My
"I'm not gay but Bi with a heavy female lean. I always thought some guys were cute, heard of Grindr went on and hooked up with one I thought was cute."
Milestailsprowe
Thanks, He-Man...
"When I was really really young I used to have erotic dreams with guys (thanks, He-Man), but didn't think much about it. That's when the internal conflicts started."
"I knew I needed to be married to a woman and have family just like every man in my family did. I feared being singled out, because I lived in a retrograde place where honor killings were common. There were no homosexual s in my family, why me? By the age of 15, I had abandoned the idea of marrying a woman and keeping homosexual affairs as some people do and decided to be upfront with me parents."
"I told them I was gay, and they seemed to take somewhat well. Deep down, they did not."
"It took years for them to truly accept me, but I can say that I have a good life. Not the one that was envisioned for me all those years ago."
Hideyohubby
The Literature
"I was 8 when my brother (6 years older) was recording the last Nirvana concert and I said David Grohl was cute. I didn't really know what it meant to be attracted to someone, but I was drawn to him and the words just came out. My brother said 'That means you're GAY!!!!' which I didn't understand what gay was yet but his tone made me respond 'Nuh uh!!!'"
"Turns out he was right. When I was 13ish I found my brother's porn magazines and found myself uninterested in the ones that were just women. That's probably when it fully dawned on me. Still kept it to myself until I was in college and out of my small rural hometown."
Mathandyr
Back in the Day
"Looking back, I definitely had feelings for women just as much as I did men. I just either didn't realize or was in denial about it. I was 20 when a girl crush really hit me hard and I started to realize it but was still confused for some time. Finally around age 24 I came out to my brother as bi, and much to my relief he did as well!"
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
Breathless
Kate Winslet Yes GIF by EmmysGiphy"My senior year of high school, Titanic was re-released in 3D for the 100 year anniversary of the disaster. Being my favorite movie of all time, my dad took me to see it at the closest IMAX theater."
"I caught myself trying to control my breathing during the nude drawing scene so that my dad didn’t catch on to the fact that I was super into seeing Kate Winslet’s breasts in towering 3D."
wildflowerhonies
Who doesn't love Titanic.
We thank these brave souls for sharing their stories.
Do you have something similar to share? Let us know in the comments below.
"Dear non-asexual people: if you were in a relationship with someone and they sat you down and said they are asexual, what would your reaction be?"
There Is Always A Solution
"This actually happened to me."
"My current partner told me about 3-4 years into our relationship that she realized she might be asexual."
"She told me that she'd realized since we'd been together that she'd often used sex as validation or because she thought she was supposed to."
"She'd been coming to the realization for a long time before she told me, and told me she was afraid of how I'd react."
"I'll preface my reaction by saying that we have never been monogamous, so things may have worked out differently if we were."
"I was not totally surprised."
"We tell each other everything, and I'd heard a lot about her previous partners."
"From what I gathered, I was her first long-term partner who wasn't abusive, pushy, or worse."
"I didn't feel like I'd disappointed her or turned her asexual in some way, I knew that she was telling me this because she felt comfortable that I wouldn't freak out or leave her."
"When we'd first started seeing each other I'd gone through a similar experience working up the courage to tell her I'm bi."
"The entire experience made us closer."
'That was years ago now, and we still very much love each other."
"We still have sex occasionally, but she's also fine if I seek it out elsewhere as long as I'm safe, always, and communicative, to a fault."
'Coming out to a partner is always difficult, regardless of what your sexuality is, or isn't."
"It's scary to think the person you love may feel differently about you afterward, but it's better than living a lie and letting it eat away at you."- Duckiesims
Happy Well Done GIF by LaffGiphyJust be Upfront
"i've been on a date with an asexual guy."
"He told me 1 hour into the date."
"I had nothing but respect for straight up telling me."
"I said I want sex to be a part of a relationship, he respected my choice and we had a great date."
"We were friends for long after that."- kaascheesefromage
Nope, Not Going To Work...
"Wish them well, find someone who shares my interests."- tacit_urn
Minor Detail...
"This actually happened to me."
"He was so much fun, that sex ultimately did not matter."
"We had 8 years together before he went I search of new adventures, but we stayed friends until his death."
"I still miss him."- Dang_It_All_to_Heck
Alicia Silverstone Flirting GIFGiphyAn Insurmountable Hurdle
"I’ve been there."
"College boyfriend after about a year of dating told me that he thought he was asexual."
"We had been having sex until then, and it made me feel awful thinking that he might’ve not wanted to the entire time."
"I felt bad 'making' him do that."
"It was always consensual, but I was worried he only did it because he felt he had to."
"Some people can make a relationship without sex work, but this is what I personally did not want."
"I never shamed him for his lack of sexuality, but it made navigating the relationship more challenging."
"That relationship went on for at least another year, but ended up failing for a few reasons."
"I’m quite sexual, so that became a compatibility issue."
"We did not have sex thereafter."
"He was kind of a controlling person, (not because he is asexual)."
"He would make me feel ashamed for getting turned on or, god forbid, pleasuring myself."
"He also guilted me in staying with him despite the lack of any sexual compromise."
"He basically said that if I really loved him for him we would stay together."
"And I did love him a lot at the time, so that is why I stayed."
"I know now that sex is important to me, and really it is nice to be intimate with someone and to feel wanted in that way."
"I felt ugly for the longest time because any time I brought up this issue, I would either be rejected, ouch, or shamed for wanting anything sexual."
"We were both pretty young in this relationship."
"If I were in a relationship like this now, after some more relationship experience, I would have tried to have a clearer discussion about my needs."
"In all, I hope that if anyone else finds themselves in this situation, ie with a partner that realizes they’re asexual, that you can have a serious conversation and decide if this is enough of a compatibility issue to stop seeing each other or make a compromise to match both of your needs."- Silverhime
kate hudson breaking up GIFGiphyIt Can Have Its Advantages
"Wow this is weird, this actually happened to me the other day."
"My partner came and told me she is asexual."
"We talked through what that meant to her and basically she's not anti-sex, in fact she enjoys it, she just has almost no independent interest in sex, and almost no attraction or sexual desire towards people."
"So, after checking that she was still happy with the way things are and she wouldn't prefer some alternative arrangement, we basically just agreed to continue as we have been throughout the relationship up to this point."
"Boring I know, sorry."
"In fact it made me feel more free to pursue my own kinks and desires, since sex is now something she mostly does because she wants to make me happy I feel less bad making it about my wants."- cdwols
Sex is always a very personal issue.
With that in mind, someone with a high sex drive simply might not be able to make a relationship work with an asexual person.
Though opposites do attract, which can include two people with highly opposing views and needs towards sex.
For at the end of the day, there's no ignoring a connection.
