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The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity

Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked: 'What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?'

wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

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People Who've Been Engaged But Never Married Share Their Experiences

"Reddit user mimi_nivi asked: 'People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?'"

A woman has her hands around a man's neck. She wears an engagement ring and holds a small bouquet of white flowers.
Photo by Joshua Rodriguez

CW: Death and miscarriages.

It's always sad when a couple doesn't make it all the way.

Especially when a promise was made.

Isn't that what an engagement is?

A very expensive promise.

Diamonds ain't cheap.

Redditor mimi_nivi wanted to hear about the reasons why finally getting to "I DO" was impossible, so they asked:

"People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?"

I've never been engaged.

And I thank God everyday.

My laundry list of exes is full of stains.

Not in Bed?

Season 5 What GIF by The Office Giphy

"Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of doing her co-worker on my couch. I loved that couch."

Siguldg

3 Months Before

"He wasn't participating in the wedding planning at all and I realized he didn't actually want to get married. There was a lot of pressure from his family and admittedly, me as well. I just wanted a family and to be married and hadn't really paid attention to his reluctance up until that point."

"It was 3 months before the wedding and I sat down and reviewed our relationship. We were incompatible at several crucial points, even though we loved each other a lot. So I called off the wedding and ended it and while we were both sad, we were also relieved."

"This was more than a decade ago and whenever we run into each other we catch up and there are no hard feelings at all. He's married and a father now and I couldn't be happier for him."

Midnight_Muse

Back in 2012

"She died due to seizures. 3 am: she was home alone. She woke up and had a seizure and unfortunately hit her head against a wall… 7 am: she was supposed to show up at her parent's house to drop off the dog before work. She didn’t. 9 a.m.: her parents went to check on her, the dog was fine, but she was unresponsive. 9:30 am she was declared deceased at the scene. 10 am: I was at work and I got a call from her father… I lost it right there. It was back in 2012 but still, I’m not over it yet."

Fragrant-Snake

Cruel

"We had like 6 miscarriages."

"At the end of the relationship, he said something to me like 'It’s just so hard… I look at your face and I feel like I SEE nothing but 6 dead babies.'"

"Can’t really come back from that one. I mean some people can. We couldn’t."

"It’s crazy in hindsight but everything just kind of worked out. I have two beautiful daughters and a stepdaughter I love and a great life!"

relentpersist

Whoops

"Turns out she liked vagina as much as I did."

wayneo88

Sometimes too many of the same interests are NOT a good thing.

Lesson learned.

Thank You

Preach Amy Poehler GIF by Sisters Giphy

"He cheated before we got married and I found out. I thank the stars every f**king day I didn’t marry him."

fatfemmebish

Old Friends

"She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that."

Wastoponcene

True Colors

"The longer we lived together leading up to the wedding, the more he showed his true colors. One day while I was cooking dinner for us he started screaming at me, like an inch from my face, and called me a (see you next Tuesday.) Something about it snapped some sense into me. I walked out and never went back."

gamergirl007

Technicalities

"We’re still technically engaged, but we never wanted a wedding. We met way late in life (I’m 50, she’s in her mid-40s), no kids, and if we get legally married the gov’t f**ks with her disability assistance so she is my spouse, my partner, and my soul mate. But we don’t feel the need to get married. But I do have a living will just in case. We will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary early next year."

lovedontfalter

Holy Mary

like a virgin madonna GIF Giphy

"The Holy Spirit came to him in a dream and told him that he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t a virgin."

hitlersd**k69420

Well, sometimes it's just not meant to work out.

And that sounds like a blessing.

man hugging woman during daytime

Carly Rae Hobbins on Unsplash

There are a lot of sayings about human nature that address bad behavior in a relationship.

One such idiom is "a leopard can't change its spots." Another is "once a cheater, always a cheater."

But is that really accurate?

Can a significant other cheat just once and never again? And even if they can, is the relationship ever truly healed?

Keep reading... Show less

When it comes to the dating scene, we all know there are going to be rough moments, from awkward dates to being ghosted to heart-shattering breakups. But the thing everyone hopes will never happen is to be cheated on.

After all, if someone has the intention or inclination to cheat, why would they choose to date at all?

Already cringing at the thought, Redditor newlymoneyedrapper asked:

"What is the worst excuse you've heard from someone who cheated?"

Not 'Meant' for Monogamy

"When they get caught, they try to play the 'humans aren't meant to be monogamous' card."

"I'm like, 'If you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place only to cheat later? You could join a free love hippies commune at any time. But that's not what you did...'"

- fepivo6620

Coming Out as Polyamorous

"I know a girl that cheated, and when she was inevitably caught, said she was 'coming out' as polyamorous."

"She was dead serious and fully expected our support and everything."

- fxckfxckgames

"The difference between polyamory and cheating is informed mutual consent among all parties."

"It's not a sexual orientation, you can't just 'come out' as polyamorous. It's something your partner(s) have to know about and (willingly, not coerced) agree to. Otherwise, you're cheating and making excuses for your s**tty behavior."

- spla_ar42

"Lmao (laughing my a** off), get out of here. Actual poly people would know how important communication is beforehand."

"I would have laughed in her stupid, cheating face."

- kosherkitties

So, Grief Is An Aphrodisiac Now?

"She said, 'It was the anniversary of my cousin's death and I wasn't in my right mind. You know how upset I was. Blaming me is classic victim blaming. You should be COMFORTING me!'"

"This was AFTER I offered to stay with her for the night but she said she wanted to be alone."

"I wish I could say I immediately left her, but it took two months and a second cheating incident. That time she said she was upset over a bad grade (seriously)."

"I walked away. And I blocked her. The bizarre part is how she kept trying to contact me for four years after that. She even confronted me in the parking lot on my first day of work, begging me to take her back. Why f**k around so indiscriminately if you want to be with someone?"

"Anyway, I stopped trying to figure her out long ago."

"It was my first relationship (age 15 to 18), and I was a naive fool."

"I'm not jaded now, but I know a h**l of a lot better."

- midnightsonofab***h

"I am sure her cousin would have been very proud of her using his death as an excuse to cheat and then call herself the victim."

- Acceptable-Stay-3166

Everyone Hates Mercury Retrograde

"My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017."

- henoney389

"SORRY I KEYED YOUR CAR, LOL (LAUGHING OUT LOUD). I'M SUCH AN ASPARAGUS."

- Skwerilleee

"I think you mean the MOON is in GATORADE."

- Zmb7elwa

So Sweet of them

"'I didn’t even enjoy it, because I was thinking about you the whole time, and I felt terrible.”

- fepivo6620

Those Undeniable Needs

"He said, 'You were at the hospital for two weeks. A man has needs."

- Wichita_Falls_Texas

"My girlfriend had a contagious skin infection for several months, and the post-infection management was even longer. We put off sex for about a whole year, and not once did thoughts of cheating occur to me."

"I’m sorry you had to endure that. Not all men are like him."

- Expensive_Presence_4

Growing the Family, and the Relationship

"They said, 'My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any.'"

- tefama5759

"If I remember correctly, pregnancy is the time or one of the times when women are cheated on the most."

- RBNrando

"This breaks my heart."

- LoreGeek

At Least It Didn't "Matter"

"They said, 'It’s not like it meant anything.' Oh good, glad we cleared that up."

- fepivo6620

"Yet you threw our relationship away over it. So what I'm hearing is I mean less than nothing to you."

- LeRuseRenard

Increased... Appreciation

"He really said, 'I’m just on Tinder to confirm that there’s nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more.'"

- tivige8195

Getting a Jump on Things

"My previous partner told me that he cheated because he insisted that he 'thought I was going to break up with him anyways,' so he started seeing other women."

"I believe this was just another one of his manipulation tactics to put the blame on ME for his actions. To this day, I cannot fathom the mental gymnastics he had to do to justify his decisions... Lol (laughing out loud)."

- cuteemogirlfriend

"I wonder if he's familiar with the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?"

- Browncoat85

"Well, he is now."

- cuteemogirlfriend

Cheat or Be Cheated On

"My last boyfriend said he cheated because he thought I had already cheated. But I did not cheat on him."

"He felt like an a**face when he realized I didn't... But he lowkey still thinks I did."

- _mel-issa

For the Sake of the Relationship

"My college roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, and then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend."

"He started to rationalize that 'you need to cheat to stay faithful.'"

- henoney389

​Opportunities to Cheat

"Oh, this thread reminds me of my ex, who was just a complete s**tbag."

"He didn't cheat, but he nearly did, and he told me about it and said 'Hey, I was really drunk and still didn't cheat, everyone around was so so proud of me and said I must really like you. They all thought I did amazing for not cheating on you even though I had a proper chance to do it, so I thought I'd tell you about it.'"

"I just raised my eyebrow at him. I remember that I did hang up on him a few times and told him that it wasn't massively impressive when he was being a d**k. He was very abusive so I couldn't safely leave him, though. If it was safe to do so, I would've dumped his a** right there and then."

"I know he's on Reddit so he'll likely see this, and good riddance because he's a complete t**t. If you see this, you know who you are, and I think you can go to h**l for what you did to me."

- Complete-Mess4054

All About the Rush

"The answer is because cheaters get off on cheating. It gives them a thrill that a 'normal' relationship can't give them."

"This is why I say cheaters will always cheat, because they crave the excitement of it."

"They don't give a s**t about monogamy or non-monogamy; they just find it fun to cheat. They also enjoy chasing after other people who are in relationships because it's more fun for them to chase after someone who's already taken rather than to find someone who's not."

"In other words, they're sociopaths who get off on causing misery to satisfy their own selfish desires."

- MissGrim66

It's clear why these Redditors thought these were the worst explanations for cheating.

Not only do some of them not make sense, but they're a total dismissal of the cheater's accountability in the relationship.

While realizing that a partner you loved was cheating is already bad enough, it seems that receiving a terrible, ingenuine reason for the act would only serve to make it worse.

A black and white photo of a couple kissing
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz

Let's talk about sex, baby.

I love that song and that phrase.

Yes, sex is natural and fun.

It can also cause a colossal amount of drama.

But does everyone always do it for the right reasons?

Redditor Environmental_Log257 wanted to hear about all of the wrong reasons people used for shacking up with others, so they asked:

"What’s the worst reason you hooked up with someone?"

I like to think that all of my sexual choices were thought out and wise.

But who am I kidding?

I'm no better than the rest.

I did the deed

"My first long-term gf cheated on me when she went off to college. We broke up. About two months later she got hit by a transportation bus and lost her leg. We had seen each other a couple of times after her recovery and hooked up. Years later I meet another girl with the same first name through a different ex and she had lost her leg too. I was thinking what are the odds of someone else being able to say they slept with two girls with the same name with both missing a leg…. So. I did the deed."

Justsittinghere25

I hear you

"We both had the same name and thought it would be fun to call out our names in the heat of it."

RayRayJones

"Ok, this is like… the BEST reason to hook up with someone. That sounds hilarious."

hashtagsugary

"Honestly that sounds so fun. Too bad I’ll probably never meet anyone with my name since it’s not technically a real name and I’ve never HEARD of another person being called that. My middle name is Ashley, though, and I tend to go by that in professional settings (I’m a guy, by the way) so I probably have a decent chance of trying that."

___sephiroth

That Night

"Almost dated in high school. Had a falling out in college and didn't talk for years until we both attended a mutual friend's wedding. We were the only single people there and neither wanted to go home empty-handed. So we didn't. That was about four years ago. We talk sporadically but we've only seen each other in person maybe once or twice since that night."

Current-Revolution-4

"Interesting that you’ve never developed it. In my personal experience knowing myself, if this were to happen to me, I’d so relive the moment in my mind and want to be with that person forever, assuming the action was good and the person is happy with me."

HamaDDisco

Wingman Issues

Barney Stinson Wingman GIF Giphy

"She was hitting on my friend and he wasn’t down, so he said 'save me.' Reverse wingman lol."

SmokeAbeer

"Falling on a grenade for your comrade."

magcargoman

Bad ideas

Oh No Facepalm GIF by Aminé Giphy

"My best friend (I'm Male she's Female) hadn't had sex in a year and asked me."

"We stopped being friends in any capacity after that."

cgulash

Feeling Unpretty

"I felt unattractive after my ex cheated on me and I needed someone to tell me I wasn't."

totalanomie

"Same-ish. Had a rough and very confusing breakup."

"She found me attractive and clearly was just looking for a little fun, with no attachment. We talked a lot and had a good time just being together, but we didn't really date. Just talked, sex, talked. It made me feel wanted again. She seemed to enjoy it and was clearly not interested in anything more than that. We parted as friends."

FaliedSalve

AOL Days

"Because she asked. I was visiting a friend in a different part of the state and she introduced me to one of her friends and she gave me my AOL username. This was back in the late 90s. 😉 A few days after returning home I received a message from that person asking for a one-night stand."

AnimeJoex

"A man has to comply to the AOL lady, it’s just sound reasoning."

hayitsnine

Truth

"I was emotionally compromised and wanted to use a person that I cared nothing about to make me feel better about a situation that I couldn’t fix."

Rounder057

"I appreciate your honesty. Honestly, 99% of people do this at one point in their life whether they admit to it or not. You're admitting to it, even if it’s anonymous, which says a lot Or maybe I’m just like you and want to feel better about myself and I’m just a crazy rando. Therapy here I come!"

dl-__-lp

Gotcha!

Wave Goodbye GIF by Beauty Brands Giphy

"He cheated on me with his roommate’s girlfriend. So obviously his roommate and I hooked up for some revenge. It was excellent and I regret nothing."

HighQueenMarcy

Might as well

"We were bored. This was in the mid '00s when smartphones were not a thing yet and people still used CD players and DVDs. We both had no money or place to go and after doing nothing but talking with each other for 3 days we felt like we knew each other pretty well. I remember her complaining that 'there's nothing to do out here.' So I jokingly said back 'Well we could always do each other.'"

"Expecting her to punch me in the arm like she did when I made a comment about her boobs growing when she was talking about needing to go bra shopping. However, instead, she just sighed and said 'We might as well.' Before getting up and going inside her grandma's apartment. At first, I was a little confused and thought she misheard me so I followed. However once I was inside and saw her taking off her shirt I knew she heard me perfectly well."

alanalot

Wow. Sex has people doing crazy things.

It maybe a wiser choice to think things through sometimes.

Or at least get a hobby or two.