This all started with Tony Soprano. That is the show that taught us about the anti-hero. And that lead us to investigating our favorite protagonists.
Damn Jack
Giphy"Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. He breaks into the giants house, steals his treasure, then kills him when the giant tries to get his gold back..."
Bad Directions
"The Map from Dora. Say what you want buy that lil mf is working with Swiper. How does he always know where Dora is or where she's going???"
"I hate the freaking map. I'm the map, I'm the map. We GET it! You're doing your job! Get over yourself! I'd use the map as toilet paper!"
Greg
"Greg Heffley from Diary of A Wimpy Kid."
"Greg literally broke his best friend's hand and never apologized. And just when you think he was getting nicer he does something even worst."
Blank Checks
"People who post in r/MadeMeSmile about their own good deeds, which are actually just basic acts of human decency. Saw one recently, "Found this blank check. I really needed the money, but I found the owner and gave it back." Great congrats dude, you didn't STEAL, which is something people are capable of avoiding everyday."'
The Runner
beycreative GIFGiphy"The Road Runner, that arrogant little MFer."
"At least the Roadrunner minded his own business most of the time, and didn't try to inflict pain on the Coyote, unlike other characters in chase cartoons (like craps like Tweety and Jerry)."
Mhmmm... Jack really should've left that beanstalk alone. And let's not get into Looney Toons characters, we'll be here all day.
Jurassic Fool
screaming bryce dallas howard GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic world, she was just an a**hole the whole movie."
Like character, like actor...
"Carrie Bradshaw is a horrible friend, a manipulative and flaky partner, and a deeply irresponsible person all around."
"That moment when Miranda throws out her neck and Carrie sends Aidan. Then she brings over the bullcrap bagels to cheer up Miranda but only so she can talk about herself. And Miranda calls her out because she didn't even bring cream cheese. Like it was all superficial. And this being AFTER she cheats on Aidan."
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Tragic Peter
"Peter Pan. Dude cut off a guy's hand for craps and giggles and fed it to a freaking CROCODILE."
"I read Peter Pan to my 5-year-old, and it's only through the novel that I saw Peter Pan as a tragic figure rather than a hero. It's actually a very deep story despite being for children. Peter Pan was based on the author's relationship with a young boy who died. He imagined him living in a kind of heaven for young boys, never growing up."
Not so "Good"
"Glinda the "good witch." She murdered the witch of the East, stole her shoes, and gave them to Dorothy. She then tells Dorothy that if she wants to get home, she should go see the Wizard. After the wizard is revealed as a fraud, Glinda shows up and is all like "You could've gone home any time you like by clicking your heels together."
Animated GIF"What kind of sociopathic invites 3x of her mother's ex-lovers to her mother's hotel on the eve of her wedding, without telling her, to try and force a situation where her real father will be revealed? Then she freaking bails on the whole wedding anyway to go traveling around the world. If I was a wedding guest having forked out thousands to get there for a non-wedding I'd be livid."
Watch 2 Instead...
"Just watched Jurassic Park 3. The parents... Kidnapping, promising money they didn't have, lying, responsible for the deaths of pretty much everyone in the film, and the mom is terribly annoying. They are portrayed as just super devoted parents, but their actions show no regard for anyone else."
Failure
"Jamie Foxx in the movie "Law Abiding Citizen."
"Gerard Butler's character absolutely should've won. It doesn't excuse what he did, but who could blame him after the system failed him and his family so spectacularly?"
"To me he did win, he had nothing left to live for after his family were taken away and 'justice' never came so he set out to prove the system doesn't work/is corrupt/a numbers game and he followed through with that. He'd rather give his life than roll over to the system but not without proving a point."
"Give this guy what he deserves"
"J. Edgar Hoover. Anything but a hero but FBI headquarters is named after him."
"A guy I used to work with years ago had previously worked at the FBI in DC and heard all kinds of stories about J. Edgar Hoover. For one, supposedly when you went in his office there was a hug FBI seal on the carpet, but it was sunken down in the floor, so when you were standing his office, his desk was up above you and you had too look up at him like he was some sort of deity or something."
"Also, one time two guys were called into his office to see him. Hoover mentioned one of the FBI agents who worked under them and said, "Give this guy what he deserves." It was unclear from Hoover's tone of voice whether he meant that they should reward the guy or punish the guy and they were afraid to ask what he meant. They decided to give the guy a promotion, but station him way out in the middle of nowhere so their @sses were covered either way."
Joe
Guy Grandpa GIFGiphy"Grandpa Joe. He sat in bed for years, never lifting a finger to help his starving family despite being perfectly able-bodied except when a day of chocolate and fun is involved."
Showman
"PT Barnum exploited marginalized people and was not the hero portrayed in "The Greatest Showman."
- jubybear
They villainized the only hero in that film. Jenny Lind was actually a great person and despised PT Barnum in real life. She earned 350,000 on the tours she took with him (10,887,000 in today's money) and donated all of the proceeds to charities. She was also married at the time."
Hero Nanny
"Mrs .Doubtfire. He was a deadbeat dad and Lost custody. He was given very fair terms to see his kids again. Get a stable job and stock being a passive aggressive deadbeat. Instead he decides to pretend to be an old lady to infiltrate his own house and use that knowledge to manipulate his family."
"Then when his wife dates a Pierce Brosnan, who seems like an good dude and genuinely liked her kids and was willing to be a father figure for them, what does he do. Vandalises his car and knowing gives him cayenne pepper that he knows he is deathly allergic to. The poor guy could have died. But it's okay cause Mrs. Doubtfire is the hero."
Tink
"Tinker Bell. She's so self entitled, inconsiderate, and a brat. She blames everything on everyone else when it's her fault . She's not some fairy hero, just someone who messes up crap, then has to clean up for it after blaming a series of people. I'm talking about in the tinker bell movies."
"I would like to think she was not just a kid as fairy time is different. I mean she was born, and starts working. I would think they were teenagers. In the first tinker bell movie I can see where you could say she didn't know any better, but in the continuous movies where we could infer that she's older, she still was self entitled and constantly blaming."
"In the movie tinker bell and the lost treasure, she definitely broke the moonstone on her own then blamed Terrence and in the end fixes it and they want us to applaud her? It was her fault. In the Peter Pan movies, Tink was definitely jealous of Wendy and is cruel. So in neither of the movies should she ever be seen as a hero."
Just Go!
"Elsa from Frozen. Almost kills her sister twice and is still heralded. Anna saves the day but Elsa gets all the hype."
- wongjbw
"I believe Elsa was originally supposed to be the villain, but "Let It Go" came out such a banger that they changed her character."
"The Duke of Weaseltown can stay a minor villain, though, but this idea actually *does* play out better."
Oh O!
If You Say So Shrug GIFGiphy"Oprah, she asked the Olsen twins their clothes size at the height of their eating disorder. She also had cult leaders featured on her show, John of god."
Hubris...
"Significant amounts of people think that Walter White was a hero who was willing to go to extremes to provide for his family, completely ignoring the countless outs he had and the fact that he literally admits it was all about his hubris in the finale."
"He was offered an out immediately, but his stupid pride and bitterness drove him to produce highly addictive and destructive drugs."
Gabby...
"Gabriella from High School Musical."
"Gabriella was a setback to Troy's potential basketball career. Sharpay was trying to advance it. But I think there is a point to be made, and it's that Gabriela was not as manipulative as Sharpay in her endeavors. Gabriela just wanted Troy, but Sharpay wanted Troy's potential. If you look at the movie now, Sharpay seems to be investing in Troy so she can continue to live a good life."
Under the Sea...
"Freaking Spongebob that ignorant fool just can't take a freaking hint like leave Squidward the hell alone."
"In the end Squidward is also extremely jealous of Spongebob, Squidward constantly is attempting to be an artist. He's very rigid in his attempts, and very by the book, Spongebob however is just tremendously care free, and succeeds at almost every artistic endeavour he attempts. Sculpting, the bubbles, the wrapper from the piece of gum, all examples of Squidward simply not understanding Spongebob has no method."
And Kelly?
sexy high school GIFGiphy"Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell!"
"Was anyone on that show not a piece of poop though?
- horsebag
Green is Bad!
"The Hulk. That idiot does more property damage to cities costing millions of dollars to fix than he actually helps out."
"To be fair, a lot of times, it's usually caused by other people messing with him (the military, Abomination, Leader, etc). He mostly just wants to be left alone and will go out of his way to be left alone. In the MCU, he literally fled the country until Ross hunted him down, then SHIELD hunted him down again."
Aloha...
"Maui from Moana. Straight up doomed the world for selfish reasons and attempts to murder a child on several occasions."
"Maui was definitely portrayed as a misguided fool who was trying to make up for his mistakes in his own foolish manner until Moana showed him the way. Kinda why the movie is called Moana and not Maui."
Murky Waters
harry potter what GIFGiphy"Snape. he had murky intentions at best, and although he sacrificed himself for harry the fact that harry named his child after him instead of someone like Hagrid is shameful."
HE'S NOT A GOOD GUY
"Jordan Belfort."
"In the same vein as this - the McDonald's guy from that movie "The Founder." It's crazy to me how many of my friends (admittedly a very bro-ish group, but I love them) watched that movie and thought he was a hero. A literal thief. Same thing with Belfort, HE'S NOT A GOOD GUY. I think it's a big indictment on the American mindset that people so easily see them as heroes."
- meowVL
with honest intentions...
"Guy Fawkes. Sometimes referred to as "the last man to enter parliament with honest intentions" and ended up as the face of the anonymous movement. Yes, he was trying to blow up a government that was persecuting catholics but his goal was to replace it with a catholic government that would persecute protestants instead. Also, he wasn't even the ideologue behind it, that was Robert Catesby, Fawkes was the guy (wahey) they hired to detonate their explosives."
For the Unirverse
"Goku is a weird one for me since he is seen as a hero for protecting and saving the universe countless of times yet he always admits that it's never his intention to save the world. He only fights opponents to better himself and to enjoy himself which has almost killed him and endangered the Universe itself, he's a hero in he obviously isn't allowing people to die for his entertainment but he shouldn't be labeled as one because he isn't one."
Burglar
Happy Merry Christmas GIF by UniversalTVGiphy"Santa Claus. He breaks into people's houses, steals their food and only gives the rich kids the good crap."
Carrie Bradshaw is an issue, always has been. There, I said it. And I'm glad we're getting around to Glinda. She was triflin'.
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