RedditorTimely_Wonder3839wanted hear about the times the Reaper almost came for some us, just because we were a little too ditzy, so they asked:
"What was the dumbest way you almost died?"
I'm super afraid of death. I'm trying to figure out eternal life. Until then, I'm always aware. No falling toilets for me.
Swim Swimming GIF by Guava JuiceThat coulda been me!
"When I was a kid (maybe 4yo), the first time I won against my grandma in UNO I was so happy, I ran into the house screaming 'I WON!' (we played in the yard) - little me wasn't able to stop fast enough so I slammed right into a wooden frame-door with a big glass window. My whole face was cut open (luckily everything healed, all I am missing is a small piece of my nosetip and its not even visible if you don't know where to look)."
"The glass shattered in a star-shape around my head and one of the spikes from the remaining glass door missed my main artery for 0.5cm (0.19 inches). I almost killed myself by accident because I won against my grandma in UNO." ~ salem7753
Shelling at night...
"I went to Aavdiyvka in Eastern Ukraine with my brother. We wanted to make a film/photos about the situation in Donetsk but basically had no planning/training/fixer. We got in a car with a random Russian dude who took us to the village. Soldiers everywhere. Minefields everywhere. Shelling at night."
"There were many points when I thought my heart stopped/I nearly pooped myself. Also got our passports temporarily confiscated by Ukrainian soldiers who rightly assumed we didn't know what the fuck we were doing. This was back in 2018. 10/10 would not do that now." ~ Saynthewrongthings
Gagging
"I was drying off after taking a shower. For some reason I was using a Christmas themed towel that had been around a few years and had some loose threads throughout. I was drying off my face and I guess I inhaled through my mouth and one of the threads wrapped itself around my uvula. I just gagged on it and was able to very slowly pull it out, but it took a few seconds and I was starting to get dizzy."
"When it came out I was left with a very sore throat and was gasping for air. It is humbling to know that I could’ve easily been found naked, wet, and dead with a towel in my mouth. I now take a deep breath and hold it before bringing a towel to my face. I also frequently purchase new towels." ~ PeripheralVisionMan
Close Shave
Iron Chef Cooking GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"A boat ran over my head in a lake once. I saw the propeller go right past my face." ~ MyHeadGetsSalty
Drunk... that would be my downfall of stupidity, should it happen. I'm going dry.
Piggy
mike lookinland piggy bank GIF by HULUGiphy"As a kid I swallowed about 15 pennies because I was acting like a piggy bank." ~ odagled86
Lost Lake
"Swimming drunk in a frigid lake. I made it like 50 meters out to a floating dock and decided to hop on the dock and just lay there for a while. When I jumped back into the frigid water, the temperature and my drunken stupor caused me to sink like a stone. When I finally floated to the surface I was flailing and asking for help. My friends (one of which was a lifeguard) thought I was screwing around and didn't help me."
"I somehow managed to backstroke my way back to shore after what seemed like an eternity and proceeded to vomit my guts out. My lifeguard friend was drunk and stoned. also the lake was ironically named Lost Lake, every time i'm in town i retell the tale of how i almost lost my life in Lost Lake." ~ elmerjstud
Waterways...
"We have underground water storage tanks at the apartment block where I lived. Back when I was 8 or 9 I was playing with a football (soccer for all the Americans) that my friend brought in the heat of kicking the ball hard enough to send it flying to the other block i stepped back farther than necessary."
"Now being a stupid kid I thought running as fast as I can I could kick the ball to great distance. And so I ran, ran like the wind and in running super fast when it was time to kick my feet tangled leading me to fall on the water tank. Which was unlocked at that time (water bowsers were called to fill them that's why)."
"I went in half my body hanging 20ft above a dark space with what i was told 6ft of water in it. The security guard came running to help me. Sometimes I think what if he was not around and was assisting someone i wouldn't be here in bed sharing this with the world. Truly a hero in my eyes wherever he is now." ~ zambo0893
Off the Plank
"Stepping on an unsecured plank on a scaffold 10 stories up. When I stepped off of it. It teetered like a see saw. I damn near wet myself grabbing it so it wouldn’t tip over and fall. (10’ 2” plank would’ve been my end in construction if it fell or my life.) my boss was just pulling it into position and I misunderstood his instruction. F**k me that was scary moment." ~ Wizdad-1000
Flying
North America Weather GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy"A full grown tree flying towards me during a cyclone." ~ PirateKing802
Who eats pennies? Really? Good night. And watch out for cyclones. Check.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Because fighting against something that inevitably won't end well or winds up causing more stress is ultimately not worth it.
So it's refreshing when someone refuses to abide by an expected code of behavior to "keep up with appearances" and instead opts to flip the bird to an undesirable situation and go about their day.
Curious to hear how about people who couldn't be botherd, Redditor sakil-food-lover asked:
"What's the most refreshing act of " I don't give a f**k" that you've ever witnessed?"
Calm Defiance
When people are pushed over the edge, they can care less about what they're about to do next.
Angry Phone Call
"This guy was on the commuter train when he got a call. There was a woman on the phone screaming at him. He just kept saying 'Ok. Ok. Ok.' for about 2 minutes. Then he says 'Ok. We are done. Get your sh*t out of my house. We are done.' and he hangs up."
– inkseep1
Jawalker
"Once I was downtown and there was this guy that was about to jaywalk. A cop car then pulled around the corner as the guy stepped onto the road. The cop then stopped and gave the guy a mini lecture. The guy nodded his head, and the cop started to get ready to pull away. Then, the man walked out in front of the cop car and jaywalked across the street. I think the cop was just done with his sh*t cause he pulled away without another issue."
Impatient Customer
"I was super slammed working at a restaurant waiting tables. People were going to a show around the corner. One table, the guy tells me that they've been waiting for their food and they couldn't wait any longer (not true), so unless I brought the food right away they were leaving. There was a line of people waiting for tables. I said, 'Goodbye' as sweetly as possible. I went to pick up his drink and silverware. His friends told him to stop it, he always does this and just asked me to bring the check with the meal. They had a lovely evening and made it out in plenty of time."
– Bgddbb
Disposable Art
"My 5 year old's teacher was harshly criticizing her art work so 5 calmly gathered up her supplies and threw it all in the trash. Sat back down and waited for the next lesson."
Keeping It Clean
People who littered were met with individuals who had zero F's to give in confronting them.
The Hippie
"I was in a public park and some douchey piece of shit finishes his cigarette and drops it on the ground. An aging hippie picked up the cigarette butt, caught up to the douche and said 'excuse me, you dropped this'. He didn't even say in a sarcastic way, if you weren't watching it you would have thought he was handing the guy back his wallet. Douche had no idea how to handle it, he just took the cigarette from aging hippie and put it in the trash can where it (and he) belonged. It was fantastic."
This Is Yours
"I saw someone do this too! My wife and I were hiking in Colorado and there were two groups slightly ahead of us, one of teenages and one late twenties. One of the teenagers finished their can of Monster or whatever and dropped it into the bushes, and then one of the late-20yo people picked it up, walked up to the teenager group, and said 'hey, you dropped this' and handed it back to the kid. The kid took it without saying a word, just looked sheepish and embarrassed (which, he should be). It was honestly one of the most subtle, cool, f'k you' things I've ever seen."
During Traffic
Car accidents suck. But dealing with insurance is worse.
Quick Assessment
"I was backing out of a parking spot in my old civic and a guy was driving down the aisle real fast in an equally old car and we collided. We both hopped out and looked back and forth between our mild damage and each other, then without saying a word we gave eachother one of these 🤷, hopped back in our cars and carried on our days."
"All Good"
"One time I rearended a guys car while pulling out of a parking space near my old house. He was standing in his lawn, watched the whole thing, and when I hopped out to apologize and give him my insurance he just goes 'it's all good baby, we're in the hood' and goes back to his Dos Equis."
"That's about all I miss about my old place."
BBQ To GO
"A guy with a grill in the back of his truck cooking some burgers while stuck in a traffic jam."
Reclaiming Space
"Bus driver found a taxi in his bus stop spot. The spot was often used by taxis as they'd pick up passengers from the mall across the street. The bus driver slowed down until he kissed the taxis back bumper, then hit the gas and pushed the taxi forward until it was completely out of the bus' space while the taxi was still in park."
Work Place
A consistent paycheck is not usually worth sticking around for.
Peace Out
"When a departing colleague sets up meetings to hand over his responsibilities before his last day."
"Then he doesn't even show up to the meetings."
Consequences Of Being Late
"I had a coworker who gave a month notice and his boss didn't set up any hand over meetings until the Tuesday before his last day. Apparently the Important one was to be had 9 am on Friday (his literal last day), but he was 15 minutes late to work due to an accident on the highway (and thus 15 minutes late for a 3 hour handover session). Boss started screaming at him, and he just said 'Yeah, I don't need this.' and left."
The Last Shift
"I went to work at 11pm on xmas eve to pull a 12 hour shift at the steel mill in the lab. There was a note on the door that said, 'check the schedule"
"i had been laid off as soon as that shift ended. i called my wife and told her, locked the front and back door, took the phone off the hook and went to sleep."
"i woke up to someone knocking on the door a few hours later, just turned the chair a little and went back to sleep. I did 10 or so hours of my 12 and since no one was coming in to let me go i just left and started filing unemployment when i got home."
It's Been A Pleasure
"Chick at my old job got a new job. She spoke with management and everyone was aware."
"She left early and sent out an email saying ' I've enjoyed working with you all. Except for...' and went down a list naming people."
"She just didn't give a f'k."
Leaving On My Terms
"I had a grocery store try and tell me I couldn't quit, that they were going to fire me. I said nah, I quit and took off my smock."
– leg00b
One comment stood out from the rest.
You know that uplifting quote, "dance like nobody's watching?" According to one commenter, the person they witnessed believed in the opposite and gave a performance because there was an audience.
Redditor The-Dapper-Duckling wrote:
"A woman pissed herself in public and everyone was staring, so she did a little dance."
Her fearlessness and courage to acknowledge an awkward situation epitomize being a spirit animal.
If only we can be so bold and courageous like her...