There's a lot of depressing news out there.
Between all of the nonsense coming out of the Trump administration, all the news surrounding Brexit, and the sobering reality that we're all just looking at memes to distract ourselves from living the curse of the starving class, it can be difficult to locate a sliver of light in the darkness.
But even the news has its humorous moments, like the fact that rapper Cardi B officially filed the trademark paperwork for the phrase "Okurrr" with three Rs, which "would mostly cover merchandise like clothing and paper goods," according to a report from ABC 13.
You have no idea what I'm talking about? Here's a refresher:
Okurrr Extended Cut | Pepsi www.youtube.com
Cardi B is part Dominicana, okurrr, and she knows how to trill her Rs.
Apparently she decided to trademark "okurrr" due to popular demand, if that's what you want to believe:
cardi b explained why she copyrighted “okurr” https://t.co/OzjSfISooh— Pardes Seleh (@Pardes Seleh) 1553457025.0
But the news anchors––well, let's be fair, just co-anchor Dan Jaehnig–– on NBC 10 WJAR really don't know how to trill those Rs, as evidenced by a clip from a newcast in which they relayed Cardi B's intention to trademark the phrase.
Jaehnig's colleagues, Mark Searles and Emily Volz, were able to do it. But when he tried, he emitted something resembling a blood-chilling caw that can only be described as what it would probably sound like if Donald Sutherland's character at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers attempted to bang a knothole in a tree.
Check it out:
Oh, sweet honey child. That's not the way you do it! You gave us a good laugh, though.
We laugh so we don't cry, everyone. Also, Dan, please explain yourself.
We still don't know what the h*ll that was, even after commissioning several scientific evaluations.
Cardi B Is Going To Star In A Stripper Revenge Movie With Jennifer Lopez And Fans Are So Ready For It
Cardi B is going to the movies!
Deadline has just reported that Cardi B is making her big screen debut along side Jennifer Lopez in a movie about strippers getting revenge on their Wall Street clients. The film is called Hustlers, and will be written and directed by Lorene Scafaria.
Cardi has previously worked with Lopez on the song Dinero, but this will be their first time in a movie together.
This is a pretty big step for the recent Grammy winner.
@Collider @HustlersMovie @iamcardib @lilireinhart @KekePalmer @ConstanceWu @JLo @LoreneScafaria Cardi you’re gonna KILL IT SIS! ❤️— Cardiana 🔥 (@Cardiana 🔥) 1553029335.0
@musicnewsfact @iamcardib @ConstanceWu @JLo @KekePalmer @HustlersMovie All legends and queens! I'm so exicted omg— ana (@ana) 1553027589.0
@Collider @iamcardib @lilireinhart @KekePalmer @ConstanceWu @JLo @LoreneScafaria Love this cast— Trash Panda 🗑🐼 (@Trash Panda 🗑🐼) 1553015852.0
@XXL ‘Dat’s dope. Keep winnin’ queen.— Talksho (@Talksho) 1553084351.0
The movie is about a group of former strippers during the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis. The women are working together to scam their Wall Street clients out of money
Adam Fogelson, chairman of STXfilms which is producing the film, said,
"We could not have asked for a more exciting or talented lineup of performers to join our cast."
They will be joined by an all-star cast, including Constance Wu, Keke Palmer, Julia Stiles, and Lili Reinhart. More names are in talks for the film as well.
@musicnewsfact @iamcardib @ConstanceWu @JLo @KekePalmer @HustlersMovie Constance underrated— 🅢🅔🅣🅗 (@🅢🅔🅣🅗) 1553041712.0
@PopCrave I’m so happy for Cardi, it’s always good to see a women be a badass & turn the tables. I love me some Kek… https://t.co/CF18Fz4MLf— Tay (@Tay) 1553122664.0
@XXL Keke palmer 🔥🔥🔥— JOHNNY (@JOHNNY) 1553062708.0
@shadowandact @iamcardib @JLo @ConstanceWu @KekePalmer @lilireinhart + you’re doing phenomenal huntaaayyy!! https://t.co/0pfFnbcHGs— levauni, (@levauni,) 1553027560.0
Cardi has a little history with acting. She starred in seasons 6 and 7 of Love and Hip Hop: New York. More recently she guest starred on an episodes of the BET drama, Being Mary Jane.
This movie will be the rapper's first film, and it feels poignant that she is playing a stripper. Cardi has made no secret of her previous profession, and would like to see it better respected.
In an interview with Cosmo last year she said,
"People ask, 'Why did you strip?' I don't really want to say, 'Oh, because I was in a relationship with a guy and I needed money to leave.
"People say, 'Why do you always got to say that you used to be a stripper? We get it.' Because y'all don't respect me because of it, and y'all going to respect these strippers from now on."
@musicnewsfact It’s litt🔥🔥🔥— Moises (@Moises) 1553028007.0
@PopCrave this is gonna be epic— Pooja! (@Pooja!) 1553049159.0
@shadowandact @iamcardib @JLo @ConstanceWu @KekePalmer @lilireinhart I can’t wait for this— Tiffani (@Tiffani) 1553112868.0
Filming for the new movie is scheduled to begin at the end of the month in New York City. This movie about dynamic women scamming rich men out of money cannot come soon enough.
Cardi B recently posted a tweet about the unhealthy relationship we have with technology.
She encouraged teens to put down their phones and make some memories in real life.
Her tweet describes her younger years, and urges her fans to "live Life!"
"I was a lit ass teenager!I had maaa fun in school ,I used to go to hookie parties ,teen bashes,shop in soho for hours..These new teenagers is getting lame they too focus on the internet.Live life! couple years from now you should have memories bout yourself not a celeb."
I was a lit ass teenager!I had maaa fun in school ,I used to go to hookie parties ,teen bashes,shop in soho for hou… https://t.co/83gdPkYopg— iamcardib (@iamcardib) 1552589987.0
One fan, @demiftcardi, replied to her tweet pointing out that it's not always easy to put your phone down and focus on real life:
"Some of us have depression Cardi 😔"
@iamcardib Some of us have depression Cardi 😔— dijon / 182 (@dijon / 182) 1552590017.0
After seeing @demiftcardi's reply, Cardi offered some advice:
"A lot have depression cause ya be on the internet lookin at people with these fake perfect lifes, perfect body,perfect relationships.Depression is hard to shake off spend time with friends,close1 or with yourself do boards wit pictures of the things you dream make them your hobby."
A lot have depression cause ya be on the internet lookin at people with these fake perfect lifes, perfect body,perf… https://t.co/GqdpIj55EL— iamcardib (@iamcardib) 1552590671.0
Cardi's fans adore her frank honesty as much as her music.
@iamcardib we love a queen helping us with our mental health— ᴊᴇsᴇʟʟᴇ 💍 (@ᴊᴇsᴇʟʟᴇ 💍) 1552590785.0
@iamcardib Yaaaas tell them Cardi— Winnie mutheu (@Winnie mutheu) 1552590102.0
@iamcardib "Couple years from now you should have memories bout yourself not a celeb" 😩😭 Thank you...— Pitsi 🦓 (@Pitsi 🦓) 1552594167.0
Many agreed with Cardi's advice.
@iamcardib Thanks for the advice! More people need to hear this so thanks for using your platform to get the message out 🙏🏼💕— Lincitas (@Lincitas) 1552590736.0
@iamcardib Same here!! My teenage years were amazing. My high school days were LIT 🔥 I met some amazing people and… https://t.co/NjxFN0W3Py— Obeyy_Vivian🇬🇭🇬🇭 (@Obeyy_Vivian🇬🇭🇬🇭) 1552590623.0
@iamcardib So true. I was just talking about this yesterday. Its a different world today. Put your phone down and g… https://t.co/WTc9zI3Pkr— Julie (@Julie) 1552590354.0
Several others brought up good points.
@iamcardib i literally ask all my friends if they wanna go out to party & they come up with excuses 🙄 i just wanna have funnnnn— ajani☁️✨🖤 (@ajani☁️✨🖤) 1552590395.0
@iamcardib Depression is way deeper than this shit. It’s a dependency, abandonment issues, it’s being ignored not f… https://t.co/m7qEYnRSg9— k a y ♡ (@k a y ♡) 1552591298.0
@iamcardib Sometimes you can’t shake off depression. You have to seek help. See a professional if you feel depresse… https://t.co/OY7M3ge0bT— G B (@G B) 1552590835.0
In the end, there isn't one single cure-all for depression, or the loneliness that we sometimes feel. Getting out and spending time with people who care about you is definitely a good place to start, though.
My man's got this friend named Chad. Chad isn't his real name, but that's what we're going with for this article. Chad is in a relationship that is ... well ... there's a reason Facebook had to come up with the "it's complicated" status. Nobody is happy, they often go out of their way to avoid one another or are forcing performative affection for the 'gram. One night, Chad decided he was going to hide from LadyChad and told her he couldn't see her because he was spending time with us. He then made up a whole elaborate story about drinking wine (which he doesn't normally do) and overdoing it because he really liked it.
Thing is, Chad never told US that he used us as a ridiculously specific cover story.
So imagine my surprise when I get a message from LadyChad on Instagram (not an app I'm terribly active on as far as messaging and I have literally never spoken a single word to LadyChad at this point) asking what kind of wine I had given Chad because she wanted to go out and purchase several bottles.
Um ... what? So there I am awkwardly staring at my phone already having responded to her "hi" so I can't just ghost the girl. She knows I've read her messages and am actively on my phone. Chad doesn't really talk to me, so I have no idea how I got roped into this, and I'm looking around like "WHAT DO I DO!?!?!"
Babe later assured me this is the sort of thing Chad did to him all the time and LadyChad was probably well aware that he was lying. Still, I didn't appreciate getting sucked into some elaborate Chad-scheme. If you're going to do that to people, you have to give them a heads up! One Reddit user asked:
... apparently the world is FULL of Chads. Get it together, guys. Stop being Chads. Here are some of my favorite responses - edited for clarity when needed. Enjoy the cringefest!
Warning: This is adult subject matter. Escorting is an arduous job. And it is a job. Maybe not one we'd all love to do but it's work none the less, especially when you have to mess with someone you may not find the most "aesthetically appealing." The workers in the trade have an endless well of stories to tell us. And you know we're dying to hear. Our questions on this topic are bottomless.
Redditor dtorg29 asked Escorts of Reddit, how would you compare the bahavior of your attractive clients vs. unattractive clients? How does one handle a situation where maybe... you're just NOT that into them?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.