"What’s the biggest dealbreaker in a relationship in your opinion?"
Ultimatums
"When she/he makes you choose between them and your family."- Sheriff_Disko
rachel cruze whatever GIF by Ramsey SolutionsGiphyKindness. Shouldn't Be So Hard...
"Not being nice to animals."- _Picklesandpotatoes_
"Abuse of any kind."- TeamGodzilla
No Monogamy? No Deal!
"Abuse of any kind and infidelity."- Knighthawk235
"Cheating."
"Emotional, physical .. any kind."
"This is only if both parties have agreed to be exclusive and monogamous."
"If they’re poly and have communicated it beforehand, that’s perfectly alright though."
"I OBVIOUSLY don’t mean cheating is ok if you’re poly, just that the rules are different."- Zeph-11
Music Video Beyonce GIFNothing But The Truth
"Pathological lying."- Frosty033
Failure To Launch...
"Their parents make decisions for them."- kiwilemonbee
Lack Of Investment
"That the other person doesn't really want to be in the relationship."
"It takes two people working together to keep a relationship going, but once one of them decides they don't want to be there, it's either effective or actually over."
"You can try all you want, but the relationship will never reach liftoff."
"This seems obvious, but in my experience, it's pretty common for people to just coast in neutral in their relationships."
"The other person does all the work until they decide they can't take it anymore and THEY have to do the breaking up."
"When the Mr./Ms. Neutral Gear either checked out long before or never even checked in."- zazzlekdazzle
Uneven Playing Field
"When one feels to compromise a lot more than the other(s) to keep the relationship going."- Lambda_Settings
trying season 4 GIF by OutlanderGiphyEveryone should be adaptable and open to evolving.
Even so, everyone has things in their life that they simply can't tolerate, or even shouldn't have to tolerate.
Few would argue that it's better to avoid a problematic relationship early, rather than endure months, or years, of unhappiness.
Redditor TheGoodOJ wanted to know how to avoid heartbreak, and so asked people:
"What signs do you look out for to know if your significant other is cheating on you?"
Keen Instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
Defensive Behavior
"Less sex, defensive behavior when asked simple questions, and I found out her Tinder profile was still active . We originally met via Tinder so I kind of had it coming."
– Zephyror
Unfair Accusations
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
Involuntary Information
"Constant reassurance that they're not cheating on you when you haven't even accused them of it."
"In a panic she also went for the morning after pill when we hadn't slept together in more than a week. That was quite a good one as i got about 30 different reasons for it."
"Yeah i'm still bitter about a breakup HAHA." – AltruisticVictory3
Slam-Dunks.
"An acquaintance from years ago was a part-time Private Investigator."
"He told me that cheating cases were slam-dunks. The suspicious SO would hire him, and he would recommend that they sign up for a club or a course or a fitness class. Anything, provided it was a regularly scheduled event."
"Then he would wait a couple of weeks, and tail the suspected cheater. 99 times out of a hundred, if they knew their SO was occupied for a couple of hours, that's when they would hop the fence. Gotcha."
– PJMurphy
My Who?
Giphy"You wanna go to the movies or something tonight?"
"Can't, I'm banging your cousin."
– StrangeEye3
Trust your guts.
"When you know they've cheated in the past - with you on their ex is the obvious classic here - expect exactly the same to happen to you. In other words, do not start to think of yourself as the exception."
"Loss of intensity. And I'm not only talking about the good kind. The other sort is often more telling. A relationship may not be in the best of places, but it's over when fights turn to silence. You get the gist, applies to lots of areas."
"Probably the biggest two. Best course of action: trust your guts. You pick up on more things than you think. Or to be more precise: than you can put into words. Also important here: know yourself well enough to notice when you're starting to deceive yourself. I've yet to see one of these "left me out of the blue" stories, where the signs weren't entirely clear to everybody around but the one person in denial."
Red Flag
Giphy"From experience it's usually all those things that make your gut feeling go wild with red flags. Maybe some people are ok with a hidden relationship status on fb but in my case it was a red flag. Some people don't care if their S.O. doesn't post about them but in my case it became a red flag."
"I think red flags can be really specific to each relationship but if you have to ask then usually you already know, you just need some solid proof to get you to see it." – pirate_for_life
16. Fool Me Once....
"More and more money is mysteriously missing from the bank and he/she is suddenly able to not only buy up Boardwalk and Park Place, but immediately starts adding hotels to these high-end properties. [Tip: Subtly lift up the board and see if he/she has been squirreling away ill-gotten cash underneath. That's exactly what my cheating mistress was doing when we would play Monopoly in the motel room. Fool me once...]" – shugerbooger
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Parenting is a lifelong commitment but the load is certainly lightened when kids go off to college or move away for their first "adult" job. It can be quite ...Does She?
"Does she keep her phone locked around you? Does she watch how much she drinks around you? Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex?" – justDave91
Small behavior changes.
Giphy"Small behavior changes."
"With an ex of mine, we always used to be very open with each other especially when it came to our phones. We'd take calls or check messages for the other if they were busy and there was no need for passwords cause neither of us worried. Then it changed. He became very secretive and would guard his phone and keep it in his pocket or always have it with the screen facing down. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on."
"There was also a decrease in attention or contact. He didn't want to hug me or even hang out with me without it seeming like a chore for him." – EtherealArmy
Password.
"Their phone..."
"So many dead giveaways that never really existed before."
- Their phone is attached to the hip...
- It has a password, or a new password...
- Password changes frequently...
- Does not use any biometrics to unlock...
- Unnecessarily long password...
- Is very protective of said device... (Never lets you handle it under any circumstance. Never lets you look at the screen when it's unlocked...for any reason!)
- Is on it more frequently...
- If you live in North America...anywhere, and they have a dual sim device...
- Notifications is turned off, so is ring tone/vibration... – winter_quanza_een
Change in schedule.
Giphy"Change in schedule. Less interested in sex with you. Gets agitated if you need to borrow their phone. Right after getting home, not wanting to do stuff until they showered and changed. Especially if they didn't mind before. Mostly looking for personality changes." – thisguysbosses
No Lectures
"From experience,"
"She says she's busy with work when you have a date idea you know she'd like. And she only works mornings four days a week. I did the math and it didn't add up and then I caught her with another man."
"She lectures you about jealousy alot and guilt trips and shames you and demands you get counseling. She wouldn't be that concerned if she didn't have other men she didn't want you getting in the way of." – soda171717
Distracting from what's going on
"Starting a fight or making a huge drama when they arrive home so you think about that instead of where they've been."
– DegeneratesInc
They project onto you
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
If they're indifferent
"I was told hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. In the grand scheme of things talk to one another. But be worried if they just don't care."
– Zeapher
They might be hiding something
Giphy"Needing their phone everywhere they go, guarding of the phone, and withdrawn or less communication. These are all red flags, but one doesn't mean cheating, but more of a collective of things."
Trust your instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
They try to change you
"My ex fiancé suddenly wanted to become vegetarian although he's always been an absolute carnivore. He started telling me that I would look better with short hair. Turns out the side girl had short hair and was vegetarian."
– Chrysophren
Simple little lies
"lying. it doesn't matter what its about. I've uncovered cheating in past relationships by prying at the smallest lie."
– rosecolour
Drastic behavioral changes
Giphy"Any changes. Dressing up, going out all of a sudden, going to the gym more often, constantly on the phone."
– Nazisloveme
They get way too agreeable
"When they are telling you exactly what you want to hear which will sound strange if you were expecting them to say something contrary to that in the first place."
– NoMoreNiceyNice
If you're doubting you S.O., it's not a good sign
"Do yourself a favor and don't go down that rabbit hole. If you have no trust in a relationship, you have nothing."
– CarinaRegina1957
Many Redditors brought up similar points about guarding cellphones or changes in behavior, as indication of red flags in a deceitful relationship.
But the one constant observation was that people should listen to their guts when they have their suspicions about the person they're sleeping with.
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Okay so first let's acknowledge how hard single parenting must be. I barely manage to eek out cooking for 1, being on time for doctor appointments, and not spending my money almost entirely on band t-shirts so I can't save any money.
But when your head's on fire taking care of work, yourself, and your--possibly multiple--kids, it might put your love life in a total fugue state.
u/lifeingminor asked, Children of single parents, who was the worst person your parent has dated?
Major Beefcake
My mom dated this guy named Rick. He always smelled like beef. All the time. He would come over and the living room reeked of BEEF!! I would beg my mom to let me leave whenever he came over but she said that would be rude. So I just had to be in the same house with that rotting meat basket called a man. He was over one morning when i had a late start. I went to school and a girl called me "Beef Bitch". I cried for hours. Rick and my mom broke up because he got a job in another state and they hadn't been dating too long so they decided to split up. My mom still wont tell me why he smelled like beef. She says it's his personal business
GiphyPicturing This One in Those Candy Cane Stripes
Ronnie, He was a carny that my mother met at the local fair....whirlwind relationship that didn't last long, he didn't appreciate being dumped. He broke into the basement of out house late at night and used a set of tires and gasoline to start a fire under the stairs......I woke up in a house fire.
I taught my kids to tie their shoes and never trust a carny
GiphyThey Were Outta Dip, I Didn't Know What Else To Bring
This woman brought a loaded pistol to a party my dad was at because she couldn't get in contact with him (this was before cell phones)
What is Convenient About Marrying Elvis??
A a semi famous at the time Elvis impersonator/singer for a band that had some success and he's incredibly cocky and arrogant. My mom ended up marrying him but they live in different states and only see one another here and there. It turned out to be a marriage of convenience after a few years.
GiphyIt's the Cat That Gets Me With This One
One wanker called Darren. I have a viral infection once that mimmiced meningitis and he kept banging on about if I died he wasn't cleaning it up and that I may need a wheelchair. I punched him once when he tried throwing my cat outside into the rain. He's fu**ed off now thank god
And How Exactly Did She Expect That to Happen?
My dad started dating a woman who firmly believed that I was part of his "old life" and that he needed to cut ties with me.
I was 14 and became terrified my mum would find someone who would do the same, and I'd end up with no family.
Specific About a 10 Year Old is a BAD SIGN
Some guy she met at a bar. He was really interested in meeting her children; specifically 10 year old me. Within two hours of him coming into the house he had invited us all out to a nude beach nearby. It was very freeing, he insisted, and he thought I would love it there. Mom didn't make him leave the house for the night, and I slept in her room with the door locked.
Old Flames
My mom got back together with her old high school boyfriend for whatever reason. Guy was like 60 but looked about a minute away from death. Super lanky, reeked of cigarettes. Not a bad guy but his general hygiene and health made him hell to be around.
Who In God's Name is This Person's Uncle
His name was Jeremy, the only man my mother ever had around me. He would beat me and try to bribe me with toys, but I wasn't a normal child, I wasn't interested in toys and couldn't be manipulated. A very long story short, I told my big uncle, the criminal, the one that was fiercely protective of my mother and I and Jeremy was literally never seen or heard from again. Whatever my uncle did to make him go he did a damn fine job, he made sure I knew he was always there for me.
Polite, I guess?
My mom dated a guy named Mike, he had this weird rule that when he called the house (this is 1997-98 before we had caller ID) he would let it ring twice, hang up and call again when we would be good to answer it. I was probably 10 during this, I remember not liking him and would answer the phone first ring every time just to piss him off. He wasn't a bad guy, just a giant douche.
The Spook!
The spook. My mom had a thing for government operatives during the Vietnamese war, particularly this guy Roy. Once when I was on the phone too long and she out with him and was trying to reach me, he had the phone company operator break into my conversation and put her on the phone to me. He was also running operations in Cambodia and Laos. Creepy guy.
Just As Fast As He Came In
Definitely the guy, who after over a year of dating my mom and seemingly caring for both her and I, called her one night and said he never loved her and to not contact him again. No signs showing this is how he felt. He broke my mom for awhile. I definitely wanted to find him.
Thumb Ring's are Strange Beasts
I mean there were so many but I think it's a tie between the pathological lier, the one with anger management issues and the weed addict with the thumb ring.
Woah.
My dad DATED this lady that had like 4 kids. They lived with us for a couple months cause their "apartment wasn't ready". It was weird. Also she's the lady my dad cheated on my mom with and she cheated on her husband.
Little of the Secret Sauce in There
My father dated a weird lady who used to casually tell me how he was an amazing lover (I was like 9, so disturbing). I'm also pretty sure she tried to kill me once. She had really long fake nails and "lost" one as she was making cabbage rolls but didn't say anything until after I almost chocked to death on it. My choking did not seem to surprise her one bit, she didn't move a muscle to try to help me or even apologize after.
GiphyDammit, Chad
"Chad" is the only swear word in our house. Our mom used to date this douchebag when my littlest brother was a couple years old, and sadly he picked up some of his habits. Funniest thing was is this a**hole got karma big time. He adored his cars so much and every time he got a new one he'd hit a deer.
GiphyAt Least You Can All Go Out for a Drink
My dad is currently dating a girl my age. He's 53 we're 22. So there's that.
Walter White as a Stepdad
He turned out to be a high profile dude related with crimes. I can literally search his name on google and articles about his deeds will appear.
Not gay.
For the last time mom, I'm not gay.
The GD question just won't go away And I get asked every single day But the way they ask it is not a disguise Like, "how was your day, do you like to kiss guys?"
Do you need it or just want it?
Giphy"Do you need me to have a boyfriend?"
But what if they say "yes because you look miserable" or something like that, then what?
Get wrecked.
Your dad stopped returning my calls.
Not sure I can use that with my grandparents...
Where'd he go?
Look extremely shocked.
"I... I don't? Where did he go?!"
Then walk away.
"Don't you see him? He's right beside you". said in a very creepy/crazy voice also works
Disappointment.
"Because people don't usually volunteer to be disappointed."
"Let's go to the un-amusement park!" - nobody ever.
No green thumb.
Giphy"I don't have a green thumb! All my plants and boyfriends keep dying!"
I'll give it a go. I've never been killed.
What a hunk.
I do, he's in the refrigerator. Want a slice?
Gives a new definition to "My boyfriend is a hunk... of meat."