Up or down? Left or right? East or West?
These things seem like total opposites that can't be confused, just like large and small.
But if you took a bet nobody could confuse total opposites and use them in the same descriptors, you'd be wrong.
The San Miguel, Colorado Sheriff's office posted an alert to Twitter warning residents of a "large boulder the size of a small boulder" clogging up traffic on the highway.
Large boulder the size of a small boulder is completely blocking east-bound lane Highway 145 mm78 at Silverpick Rd.… https://t.co/TUVyX5ZVY5— San Miguel Sheriff (@San Miguel Sheriff) 1580154312.0
Large boulder...the size of...a small boulder.
Twitter was pretty confused and also very amused, coming up with clever jokes to explain away the boulder's conflicting sizes.
@SheriffAlert ah yes a large boulder the size of a small boulder— joshua rush (@joshua rush) 1580163545.0
@SheriffAlert We shall name it.....Biggie Smalls.— The Brofucius (@The Brofucius) 1580161716.0
@SheriffAlert I think we should be grateful it wasn’t a large boulder the size of a large boulder.— ⚜️Rob Anderson for Louisiana (@⚜️Rob Anderson for Louisiana) 1580174757.0
@SheriffAlert Man that there boulder is so large it looks kinda small! https://t.co/WMmL6dSMFx— Austin Brown (@Austin Brown) 1580165554.0
@SheriffAlert wow, look at the sizes of that thing— Adam M. Sachs (@Adam M. Sachs) 1580159450.0
Once the boulder was removed...
Highway 145 mm78 at Silverpick Rd is now clear of the boulder that was blocking the east bound lane. Both lanes open to traffic.— San Miguel Sheriff (@San Miguel Sheriff) 1580154519.0
...people were still pleading to know how big it was.
@SheriffAlert I'm missing a boulder and I wonder what adjectives you might use to describe the boulder that was cle… https://t.co/oD2hT60DYk— Mrs. WTF (@Mrs. WTF) 1580165603.0
@SheriffAlert how big was it though? yknow just for my records.— depressed thor ⚡️🦌 (@depressed thor ⚡️🦌) 1580166553.0
@SheriffAlert What was the boulder like, size wise?— four quadrant shithead (@four quadrant shithead) 1580165319.0
@SheriffAlert Was it huuuuuuuge? The biggest boulder ever? Wait.....was it bigger than Obama’s boulder?— 👩⚖️ sm00th1 ³³º¹ 👩⚖️ (@👩⚖️ sm00th1 ³³º¹ 👩⚖️) 1580174807.0
@SheriffAlert Was that the large boulder or the small one?— Me (@Me) 1580176191.0
Finally, the sheriff's office clarified the exact dimensions of the boulder.
The boulder that fell onto Highway 145 at Silverpick Rd outside Telluride was approximately 4ftx4ftx4ft (64 cubic f… https://t.co/VByH6FimoV— San Miguel Sheriff (@San Miguel Sheriff) 1580169143.0
But...was it large or small‽‽‽
The question remains unanswered.
@SheriffAlert I want to hear more about the boulder.— Stan (@Stan) 1580169462.0
@SheriffAlert https://t.co/V3uMVWra6L— Emergentech RDI (@Emergentech RDI) 1580171783.0
@SheriffAlert Did ... did a self-conscious small boulder write this?— Attorney@Law (@Attorney@Law) 1580161454.0
@SheriffAlert https://t.co/zRQRxeNS1t— Railey Kelly (@Railey Kelly) 1580171931.0
The size of the boulder will go down as the first great mystery of the 2020s.