People Describe The Weirdest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them
Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Wait, What?: Foreigners Explain Which American Customs Make No Sense To Them
Reddit user thunderpower1999 asked: 'Non- Americans, what is an American custom that you find unusual or odd?'
When studying or learning about different countries and cultures, many Americans find themselves fascinated and/or perplexed by some of their customs and traditions.
Up to and including Canada having their Thanksgiving celebrations in October, Guy Fawkes night in England, or spitting on the bride for good luck at Greek weddings.
Many of these same Americans who scoff at the very idea of these customs might not stop to think that the tables can be easily turned, and visitors from abroad often find themselves in an equal state of confusion at some of our customs and traditions.
Redditor thunderpower1999 was eager to hear which American customs foreigners found to be the most baffling, leading them to ask:
"Non- Americans, what is an American custom that you find unusual or odd?"
The Only Thing More Ridiculous, Are Most Of The Candidats
"I find the length of your election campaigns so crazy."- Olivia123321
Presidential elections seem to be some sort of two year affair. It's out of control.
Most Meteorologists Would Agree
"My friend from India once asked me (an American) to explain Groundhog Day to her."
"I had no explanation- it’s just weird."- marmosetohmarmoset
Groundhog Day Winter GIFGiphySlowly Becoming Extinct Though...
"The waiter taking your card away to pay."- Vlakob
Trick Or Treat!
"I’ll never forget when a college schoolmate from China asked me 'is it true that you have a holiday where children dress up and go around asking for candy?'"
"I had never thought about it before but all I could say was 'yes, I guess we do…'"- EverLong0
They Think That's Strange, Ask Them What They Think About Our Health Care System...
"The Canadians I worked with in the oilfield were blown away by all of the television commercials for medicines."- rufneck-420
Happy Mental Health GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphyGobble Gobble!
"Pardoning a turkey at Thanksgiving."
"Cracks me up every time, and I've lived here 20 years now!"- sandithepirate
Strange Isn't Always Bad
"Let me pull the Uno reverse card on this."
"I am an immigrant, living in the US for a very long time."
"Getting your leftovers to go at the restaurants was a surprise to me."
"But my reaction was, 'yeah, why is that not the norm?'"
"Rather than “Americans are strange'."- BobTheInept
When You Think You Have Exact Change...
"Not including tax in the price tag."- klc81
The Simpsons Animation GIF by FOX TVGiphySo Much For Camaraderie...
"The obsession with college sports…and in some places even high school or middle school!"
"I just came back from a work trip to Texas and one of my colleagues told me the football stadium for his daughter’s middle school held 20,000 people!"- Speedbird223
Valuing Children? The Very Thought!
"That new parents, especially fathers, are expected to show up to work within days of having a newborn."- kellygrrrl328
How Long Have You Got?
"Some things I found strange in America:"
"Lack of recycling bins everywhere."
"That homeless people have tents everywhere like streets (Washington really surprised me)."
"Ice filled to the brim of the cup."
"Anything and everything having a tipping option."
"Tipping in general."
"Tax not included in the price."
"Massive lawyer billboards on every highway."- effypom
The Office Yes GIFGiphyCivic Duty, But No Civic Holiday.
You have holidays for everything but a day off for election is too much
Just Plain Gross
"Child beauty pageants."
"Just stop it."- LoadedGull
It should be said that most Americans are equally confused, if not downright horrified, by many of the abovementioned customs.
Which begs the question, what keeps us living here?
Perhaps Americans desire to stay put, in spite of a heavily flawed electoral process, a convoluted healthcare system, and winter being dictated by a groundhog's shadow is the strangest American custom of them all...
Any couple who comes to a mutual understanding that there is no future and/or chemistry in their relationship should consider themselves lucky.
After all, when one half of a couple surprises the other with their desire to break up, it's never a pretty scene
Largely owing to the fact that the one being dumped often wants a reason "why."
While some people use that age-old, eternally unsatisfying excuse "it's not you, it's me", others can be a little more specific.
Lack of chemistry, not enough in common, wanting different things, lives going in different directions.
In some cases, the reason people decide to end their relationships might be a little more specific, and incredibly strange to boot.
"What's the weirdest reason you've broken up with someone?"
Shiver Me Timbers!
"In the early 2010ish era I was in college and went out for Halloween."
"And met a guy dressed as a pirate that looked like Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate, it was the era of those movies."
"We started dating and I realized he looked like a pirate 24/7/365 and I couldn’t handle it."- toreadorable
Bird Watching Isn't For Everyone...
"We saw an owl while driving in a road and I thought it was so cool to see it fly over us and land in a nearby tree."
"She thought I was crazy."
"I mean…it’s an owl."
"How can it not be cool?"- SlytherinWario
No One Likes A Cheater
"She thought she got the answer to the crossword, when it was actually me."- IsolatedPSup
Compromise Is Key
"Never wanted to get tacos."- Mcshiggs
Loud And Clear
"He talked so fast that I often couldn’t understand him."
"When I would ask him to please talk slower, he would talk LOUDER."
"But just as fast."- SouthSideSurvivor
Season 2 Fairfax GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphyAt Least Pancakes Are Round...
"We had an argument about the way the world works.'
"I thought it worked as a globe he thought it worked as a pancake."- Minix22·
Not Cool
"She threw garbage out my truck window while driving down the road."
"First date-last date."- paintman01
Pee-Ew!
"His feet smelled."
"I mean so bad."
"They were so bad one night I thought he sh*t the bed."
"Wasn't going to go the long haul with that."- hunnyjo
Disgusted Full House GIF by absurdnoiseGiphyElle Ne Comprend Pas...
"She would speak French to herself in the mirror at home, and then she would do it at restaurants thinking it made her sound sexy, I guess?"
'I don’t know."
'Here’s the thing."
"She knew not one word of French."
"She had no desire to learn a single word of French."
"She just spoke gibberish that sounded VAGUELY like French."
"She was a full grown woman in her late 20s."
"College degree and a job."
"She started doing it around the second month into our relationship."
"That sh*t embarrassed the hell out of me."
"I know a few words and even offered to teach her - foreign student taught me how to say, 'I love a lobster' and other weird sh*t that we both thought was hilarious while getting baked."
'She said she didn’t want to learn."
'She just wanted to act like she was speaking French."- LookMaNoPride
french yes GIFGiphyDog Gone It...
"Her dog was teaching my dog to howl at sirens."- Wake95
Some Might Find This an "Eeeeexcellent" trait...
"He had posture & hands like Mr. Burns from 'The Simpsons'."- Natural-Ad2924
Moving Too Fast...
"She added me to her family's group chat after a week of dating."
"I was about 16 at that time and felt much pressure."- SirLaw___
Im Watching You GIFGiphyIf a relationship has no future, there's no point in staying in it.
And sometimes, you don't even need to dig for an excuse as to why things need to come to an end.
Or, as the French would say: "Escargots, Brie, Formidable"...
(Sacré Bleu!)
Every now and then, we find ourselves sharing a truly unbelievable experience we just had with a friend.
As we see their eyebrows raise in doubt, our inclination is of course to revert to that age-old saying "you had to see it to believe it".
However, even if we were the lucky (or, possibly, unlucky) ones to be in this bizarre predicament, that doesn't make explaining it any easier.
In fact, more often than not, we can't offer anything close to a logical explanation of what transpired, and still find ourselves lying awake in bed at night trying to figure out what just happened.
"People who have seen something they could never explain. What was the thing?!"
Help From The Great Beyond...
"Shortly after my mother passed away I was going through and organizing her belongings in her room."
"I was talking out loud as if I were talking to her."
"There were some boxes with family photo albums I’d been looking for that I hadn’t been able to find and it was really worrying me."
"I was sitting on the floor and said aloud 'where did you leave those albums, mom?'"
"Very slowly, her closet door opened on its own."
"A slow, creaking movement from nearly totally closed to halfway open."
"I was as terrified as I’d ever been in my life."
"I froze and didn’t move, but I looked at exactly eye level and there was a cardboard box labeled 'Albums' in my mothers handwriting on the lower shelf of the closet."
"I am not a religious or even spiritual person, and I thought that there might be some imbalance in the hanging of the closet door."
"I went back to the door many times and tested it by wiggling it back and forth and leaving it in different positions but it’s never moved that way since."- Virtual-Elderberry31
It's Coming From Within The House...
"In my early 20s I was home alone."
"I woke up to my cell phone ringing but missed the call."
"The phone number I missed the call from was my home phone number."
"I got up and found the cordless phone on the kitchen counter."
"I looked everywhere, but no one was in the house and the doors were all locked."- Sapphire_Sunshine
Scared Leave Me Alone GIFGiphyWhere To Even Begin...
"I fly helicopters for a living."
"I was working on a power line one year and was going back to our landing zone and noticed an opening in the trees what appeared to be a leg."
"I came back and tried to get as low as I could into the clearing, thinking, it was a person, it was a full grown cow that had been completely skinned."
"There were no farms around and the animal didn’t appear to be cut up in anyway."
"I went back to the landing zone picked up one of my Ground crew members and flew back with him just so he could verify that I wasn’t crazy."
"The flight back, we were both kind of in awe because we have no idea how that animal got to where it’s at."
"Even more so that it had no skin on its entire body, it looked like a perfect cow sans skin."- Machismo0311
An Unknown Friend When He Needed One
"Not me, but my dad."
"When I was younger, my biological mom and her husband kidnapped me and took off to another state."
"My dad said that he was finally starting to accept that he may never see me again after nearly a year of searching, and then one day when he was on a walk, this little girl came up to him and asked, 'are you looking for a little girl?'"
"He looked at her, confused, and she just turned around and pointed up the block at a group of kids playing, and said, 'she's right there!"
"He walked closer, passed the girl, to try to get a better look and saw me in the group."
"He turned around to figure out what the little girl's deal was, and she was just gone, without a trace."
"Turns out my bio mom and her husband had come back to visit family for whatever reason."
"I used to call bs because the story is just so insane, but throughout the years, it's the one story of my dad's that never changed."
"Not one detail."
"He's told it so many times that I can recite it word for word, and he's always so f*cking awestruck when he tells it."
"Like I can almost see him racking his brain, searching for the most logical explanation."
"I was ~2-3 when it happened, and I'm now 26."
"He still can't piece it all together to this day."- Western_Avocado9027
homer simpson hugs GIFGiphyA Universal Vision...
"Was talking on the phone to my dad in the garden, about 15 years ago."
"Saw an orange light slowly come up over some trees behind my house then take off straight up at a ridiculous speed."
"Stood there in silence and so did he."
"Explained to him what I’d just seen and he said he’d just seen the exact same thing."
"He was over 100 miles away in Manchester at the time."- srsly_organic
Good Thing It Landed Where It Did...
"I was walking along a park sidewalk blowing off grass clippings."
"Got under some pine trees and through a break in the canopy an 8-10 pound rock came tumbling out of the sky, bounced and chipped the sidewalk and rolled down into a creek."
"Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen."- RickPickle5280
It Can Be A Fine Line Between Dreams And Reality...
"When I was ~19 or 20 and first living on my own, I woke up in the middle of the night once to a pitch black room, but realized I could 'see' as if everything in my room was subtly outlined in a reddish glow."
"I closed my eyes and could still see the exact same thing."
"I then covered my eyes with my hands, but could still 'see'."
"I even got up and tested it by walking around my house with my eyes closed and was able to navigate around all obstacles and even see things like cups on the counters and able to pick them up without missing them."
"After a little bit of this, I turned on the light to confirm everything was where it was, and when I turned the lights back off the effect was gone."
"Overall it lasted about 10 minutes and has never happened again."
"My best guess is that I was still half dreaming and my brain was just able to very accurately represent my memory of where everything was."
"But even if that's the case, I'm very impressed with my brain's half asleep ability to form a full 3d representation of my environment as I'm moving and manipulating small objects."
"Either that, or I discovered a latent superpower."- Shaggyfort1e
scared butters stotch GIF by South Park GiphyAlways Be Cautious Before Following The Light...
"Me and my brother saw light coming through a bricked-off vent in my house about 20 years ago."
"It was a powerful light like there was a mini sun in there."
"Light has never come through it before or since and we both still remember it."- Gutgulper
Some People Are Very Easily Scared.
"My nephew was pointing at a picture on the wall saying 'boo!' and laughing, then the picture fell onto the desk below it."- HouseOfZenith
Maybe Just A Very Good Hiding Job?
"A voice sounding like my friend's sister calling out his name from a tree line in a park, me and friend were walking home near the middle of the night, both of us heard it."
"He was called out 3 times."- Brexrker
film meditating GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphyHas This Happened Before?
"Actually I still don't understand the concept of Deja Vu."
"It happens to me about twice a year since I was around 18 years old (I'm 44)."
"Just random places or experiences that I swear I have seen and been through before."
"It's so strange."- Nairbfs79
What's More Baffling, The Chainsaws, Or The Nice Clothes?
"A tree fell in front of us while we were driving."
"It almost killed us."
"Moments later a group of men dressed in nice clothes just happened to have chainsaws in their car, that was black and black tinted windows."
"They started cutting up the tree."
"We quickly turned around and said 'nope'."
"I tried to tell myself that it was just Mormons, who happened to have chainsaws in the back of their car."
"I called my mom the other day to see if she still remembers that incident and she does."- Etherealdildoexpert
Who hasn't found themself in an experience they can't explain at least once in their life.
But rather than agonizing in finding the logic behind it, sometimes the best thing to do is avoid looking for an explanation.
And just accept it as a bizarre, one-off experience.
Teachers have to deal with unruly students on a daily basis.
When stern words and warnings prove to be insufficient, they are often left with no other choice than to send them to the principal's office.
Usually, the reasons for sending them there are relatively minor, such as talking during class, passing notes, or causing a disruption.
Other times it's a bit more serious, such as bullying a classmate or making mean, insensitive remarks.
Then there are the times that can only be described as bizarre.
"Teachers of reddit, what is the craziest reason you have had to send a student to the office?"
Must Have Been One Epic Backpack...
"I’m a middle school teacher."
"I had a student sneak a gas cooker and his moms pork chops into school in a large backpack."
"He cooked pork chops for his friends at lunchtime, he was sent to the office for unsafe behavior, his mom was PISSED he took her pork chops she was preparing for dinner."- swanathonjon
At Least She Wasn't Faking It...
"I didn't send the student; she was from another room, but this really happened where I taught over 25 years ago."
"A girl was sick and the office phone was handed to her to tell her parents to come and get her."
"At least she was honest...because she puked right onto the phone, and it zapped the entire school's PA system somehow."
"This was using, of course, a land line."
"I can't tell you why the secretary didn't just do the talking for her."
"This was in around 1997, and I'm assuming the phone was even older than that, could've been from the '80s."
"The phone was a push-button model, so probably not older than that."
"You used that phone to access the PA, so I'm guessing the stomach acid fried some wires in there."
"Yuck!!"
"My room was across the hall from the office, and yes, we could definitely smell the vomit."
"Couldn't close the door fast enough."- 1989DiscGolfer
張敬軒 Vomit GIFGiphySo, So, Gross...
"A grade 1 student came up to me on the playground telling me another student was making her sick."
"She pointed to another student about 10 metres away, looked at me, and projectile puked on the blacktop."
"Went to the other student."
"He had found rabbit turds on the ground and stuck them in his mouth and was chasing kids around."
"I then puked."
"I didn't go to the office."
"But rabbit turd kid did."- mollymuppet78
Who Knew Teachers Had To Put Up With So Much Vomit?
"A student repeatedly getting on tables and singing Gucci Gang in the middle of class."
"Every. Day. For. Weeks."
"I have since left the profession."- CorieMcP
How Did He Even Get It?
"Kid was selling drugs."
"13 yrs old."
"Cops were involved."
"Had to go to court."
"Was a massive headache all around."- James_Is_Raging
One At Least Hopes She Cooked It?
"When my sister was a substitute teacher a kid ate the dead class fish."
"It was Monday so it might’ve been dead all weekend."- natsugrayerza
Adam Devine Bad Ideas GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphyOne Way Of Handling It...
"A new male student, year 4, gets mistaken by his classmates for being female (he had long shiny hair)."
"I’m guessing this wasn’t the first time this has happened, as he immediately jumped to the top of his desk, pulled out his junk, waved them out to everyone, yelling, ‘what the f*ck is this! I’m a boy, I’m a boy!'."- joelwhite313
Oh, The Innocence Of Children...
"A kid handed me a whole string of condoms in front of the class the day before spring break bc I was getting married over spring break."- m0992104
People Need To Think About Their Lies More Carefully
"It was the second day of my first year teaching (5th grade)."
"A student refused to do a writing assignment because she said she forgot how to write in English."
"When I asked what language she knew how to write in, she said, 'I only know Japanese'."
"Listen, it is plausible a student at my school would be proficient in writing in Japanese."
"HOWEVER, I had already seen her files."
"The likelihood that she knew was fluent in Japanese was a bit far-fetched."
"She eventually told me she also speaks Japanese, so I called her out by asking her to say, 'I don't want to come to school today' using her newfound foreign language skills."
"This 11 year old LITERALLY responded with, 'Ching chang chong!'"
"I sent her to the dean's office for refusing to work and man, OH MAN, did it work out perfectly."
"She sat down with the dean who tried to pry more information from this student."
"Only for the dean to explain to the student she herself is half Japanese and attended school in Japan."
"I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the student heard the dean speaking ACTUAL Japanese to test the students' knowledge of the language."
"The student eventually said she only knew a few Japanese words, which devolved into her admitting the entire story was a lie to get out of doing an assignment."
"On the second day of school."
"And lies like this went on allllllllllll year long."
"So many hilarious, yet equally sad, stories from that year that I still laugh at eight years later."- 8MCM1
Schitts Creek What GIF by CBCGiphyGoing To The Principal's Office Isn't Always A Bad Thing...
"Not a teacher, but my dad was a bus driver, and one day, this kid gets on the bus, sprinting, and nearly knocks himself out on the chair."
"When my dad goes over to see what's happened, he realizes the kid had no pants on."
"The mother, who drove off in her car extremely quickly, had literally sent this poor kid to school with no pants on."
"My dad got a student he knew really well to sit next to this kid and comfort him, and also make sure everyone else wasn't a**holes."
"My dad, when he finally got to the school, walked this kid into the office and asked for a spare pair of pants."
"Poor kid."
"That mother was an a**hole."- bananaboy65
6th Grade?!
"We were doing sketch comedy in 6th grade a few years back and seeing as it was a nice day we went outside to practice."
"From across the field I see one of my students very clearly and aggressively trying to put his junk on a prone classmate."
"When I asked him, he said it was for his sketch and he was playing a character named 'the iron teabag'."
"The best was the follow up text from my boss saying 'I had to Google what teabagging was before I met with the kid'."- Beirsed1985
Misguided Chivalry
"Kid shows up to class 10-15 minutes late to a 40-minute period."
"7th grade."
"Shawn: 'Sorry Ms. G I was in a bad mood and I didn’t want to bring it to class'.”
"Me: 'Hi Shawn, I will still have to count you tardy. You’re extremely late and I need to know where you are for safety reasons. In the future there’s a counselor request form on my GoogleClassroom page you can fill out'.”
"Shawn: 'Okay thanks'."
"Things went normally for about 10 minutes, until another student shot a rubber band."
"It didn’t hit anyone but Shawn decided to take justice into his own hands."
"In the middle of me giving instruction he gets up, walks slowly across the room (I assumed for a tissue) and smacks the other student across the face."- Pretend_Dog_2253
In truth, being sent to the principal's office is fairly easily avoided.
So much so, that in some of these cases, one almost wants to give them props for creativity.