Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:
"How did you use to think babies were made?"
So Random
Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."
cb1216
The Egg
"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"
"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."
sneekeemonkee
Home Invasion
"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."
"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."
"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."
millennium-popsicle
Hold Me
"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."
Old_Army90
Born That Way
Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."
ChemicalAd1157
Kids. We were so innocent at one time.
Born that way. Cute thought.
Delivery
"Babies are made at a baby factory."
Kotopause
"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."
MadOrange64
Saliva
"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."
Djent_Reznor1
The Seed
"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."
"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."
spidermom4
Good Faith
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."
asn-grl
"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."
HumanHuman_2003
Prayer can only do so much.
But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.
The people on this chain had some bad ideas about naming humans. Like, for real not good ideas. And medical staff already has a tough enough job by delivering babies. Clearly they also have to be sound voices of reason. Especially when people are in their most emotional state... post birth.
TINA!!!
the best tina GIF by London Theatre DirectGiphyMy boyfriend's grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn't allowed because "it wasn't a real name" and his grandmother had no other backup baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming "Tina", she named her daughter Tina because she couldn't think of anything else on the spot.
Poor Mo...
Boss's friend named their kid Monster Galileo [last name]. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name but guy, being a kid named 'monster' has to be rough in school.
Be Normal...
My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son "Collin" but wanted to give him a "unique" spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn't make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N.
They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmates mother explained this to them they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead. I don't think they'll ever live it down.
Listed
In France there used to be a list of names you had to choose from (mostly based on that day's name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.
Now it's a free choice.... but anyone can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one the judge finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder... PLUS the rejected name gets added to a "banned" list to streamline the rejection in the future.
Dirty...
Mud Caterpillar GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyNot a nurse, but as a med student a patient wanted to name her child Mudpiles. The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom changed her mind.
You would think people were drunk when the baby arrives. You really should wait until after you sign a birth certificate. For example, it feels this next group of people may have imbibed on a few shots and thought... "hey that name sounds like fun."
Midwife Down
I once had a student named Linoleum. Some midwife dropped the ball on that one. My brother wanted to name our soon to be younger brother Corn Peas and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad about asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that and passed on the name.
Hey Vi...
And here my mom was talked out of naming me Violet. "Sounds like an old lady" they said. I got one of the most common names of the 80's. When I went to college I lived in a hallway where there were literally 6 of us. My roommate had the same first name too.
I do like my name because it sounds good with my last name but I have only once met a Violet in 37 years and she's my friend's niece.
All the Dylans...
Not in the medical field, but a teacher. There are certain names that each teacher avoids because we've had a student (or seven) with that name who were difficult in one way or another.
One year, there were four Dylans in the same cohort and they were all hell on wheels. One of the teachers at that grade level had a baby with his wife that spring, and she named the kid Dylan. The rest of us were like, "didn't you vehemently veto that?"
He just shrugged and said it was important to her and he wasn't the superstitious type. Flash forward a few years, I saw a toddler tearing through the salad bar at the grocery store, spilling things, moving spoons from one container to another, reaching in with his hands... it was Dylan.
Oh Katrina
I had a coworker named Trina. When she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband had decided to name the baby Latrine. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers defecate into. She was horrified and changed it to Katrina. Two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.
Pegged
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphyI have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife. I was born missing a leg. I was given my first physical false leg in a year, but it was always obvious the leg wasn't there!
I know Hollywood has made it seem glamorous to choose off the wall names (I'm talking to you Gwyneth Paltrow) but Hollywood is crazy. So think long and hard before you saddle a new human with some ridiculous moniker. Remember... they have to go through life with it. You don't.
