I've always hated rules implemented because of other's nonsense.
No Kissing
Giphy"Not at a workplace but at a summer camp (YMCA). Only children under the age of 9 were allowed on the playground due to the fact that 2 older kids (don’t know how old they were) were caught kissing on the playground."
Puppet007
Yes, creepy dolls...
"Only one personal item in your office. This was a financial institution so customers came into our offices. This was put in place because of one lady who had her office packed with trinkets including a handful of dolls. Yes, creepy dolls. Come and get your auto loan also don't worry we have some dolls here to witness your transaction."
luminescentbluedot
That went nowhere...
"A video game company I worked for provided free snacks and sodas. One Friday HR had just done a shopping run and was bringing in a truck load of junk food. One employee was caught sneaking a case of soda out of the parking lot. He wasn't fired or disciplined, it was just made public why the perk was ended. He quit shortly afterward and attempted to sue for a hostile work environment. That went nowhere."
DarrenEdwards
Pringles Please
"No popcorn. I work at a financial company and not once, but twice, someone burned microwave popcorn during end of day processing and caused the building evac. Every once in a while a new person is cooking some up and I just imagine the talking to they're about to get."
katrascythe
"We had this, but with microwave ramen. Someone managed to try to microwave it without putting water in. Twice."
_MaddAddam
Fun Over
Its Over GIFGiphy"We used to get a free beer after our shifts at a pizza restaurant I worked at, until the manager’s little brother got in a car accident after work (he ran a red light or something). That was fun while it lasted."
boi-juice
I thought rules were designed to make sense.
Ask First
Giphy"Well, I went to the Dr office the other day. At the bathroom there was a sign. It said 'Due to misuse of hand soap, you will have to request soap from front desk.' I'm weirded the f**k out. What the hell are they doing with the soap?! At the doctor's office?? I was just too afraid to ask."
Ok-Reporter-2688
Get a Manager...
"At a restaurant I worked at needed a manager override to make any price adjustments, remove items, or process certain cash transactions. This was done because another service found a way to discount their own meals or something. Anyways, this was a huge problem for everyone because there were only two managers in the whole restaurant, and often only one was on shift at a time."
"So when it would get really busy, which happened almost every night, it was next impossible to get a manager to help you out. Often times they'd scream at you for asking for help, meanwhile your tables are getting pissy because they've been sitting there for 15 minutes waiting for me to cash them out, and I can't do anything about it."
"So between my managers yelling at me and getting stiffed, the job because insanely stressful. I quickly put in my two weeks and got the f**k out."
14thCluelessbird
Confrontations
"We used to be able to pop in an ear bud at work with the offset being that we couldn't spend more than a few seconds here or there to switch podcasts or something. Naturally, some people took a mile and spent minutes on their phones. Since everyone was afraid of confronting these people, phones and earbuds were banned in work spaces altogether."
DYGTD
"OOPSIE"
"If you derail a train you have to get drug tested. In my time at that company members of my team caused 3 derailments. After the second one, the employee's official statement was 'oops, no further comment.' It was operator error and the guy owned up to it."
"After the third one, the guy driving hops out and screams 'OOPSIE.' He was being a real prick about the problem he just caused. So we ended up rewriting the drug testing policy to drug test the guy, and sure enough he failed. So then he was gone."
thedankbank1021
Damn Bob
Bill Murray Movie GIFGiphy"Former boss here. My total pet peeve was company wide memos about 'behavioral' problems that were really about a single employee. Not on my watch! Supervisor has a problem with “Bob”? F**king talk to Bob. That draft memo is not going out. I feel your pain y’all."
Rules are made to be broken. Especially stupid ones.
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Redditor IMA_COW_IRL wanted everyone to fess up about all the times they've used a few more brain cells than they usually do by asking:
"What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?"
It Burns....
"I applied hair removal cream meant for women on my testicles. I can't tell you how much pain I was in. I was in the shower at a friends house and I couldn't even ask for help. Air caused a burning sensation. So I switched off everything and just lay in bed. I also dumbly sprayed myself with pepper spray. But that's another story for another time."
ClinkingDoorKnob
GiphyGoing Up?
"At work we have glass elevators. Once, a guy was inside as I approached, so he was trying to press the button to open the door to hold the elevator for me. He accidentally pressed the button to close the door instead."
"I could see him inside panicking as the doors slowly closed, and as the elevator started to ascend he put his hand out to gesture an apology. For some reason, the sight of him and his hand gesture slowly floating up in the elevator made me laugh so much."
island_seashell
Being a Kid
"When i was about 8, i was walking out of school, i picked up some pink fairy floss (cotton candy) off the ground and put it in my mouth. It was insulation."
NitaRising
"Hahaha. Reminds me when I was a kid around that age, my cousin and I were hitting each other and playing around in insulation lying around when construction was being done on his house. We learned the hard way that day."
IMA_COW_IRL
Holed Up
"I've shared this before on similar threads but I can't get over how dumb it was. I turned my pants inside out after noticing they had a hole in them, thinking the hole would be on the inside that way."
Firestarhk
GiphyThe Worst Part
"I tried free climbing down a 20 ft rock wall towards the top of a mountain on Oahu with no climbing experience. Ended up falling right off of it, but there wasn't much space to land. So, I took an 80 ft tumble down the side of this mountain before I slammed into brush strong enough to stop me."
"Had to get airlifted off the mountain to a field where flight for life took me to the hospital with a broken wrist, broken humerus, shattered elbow, ruptured diaphragm, broken ribs, and a laceration on my spleen. I got lucky it wasn't my legs or head or neck. Worst part is if I'd have been patient I could've taken the little trail down next to the rock face that I climbed."
Flashdime
NO!!
"My sister once told her boyfriend she lost her phone, while on the phone with him, set down her phone, scoured the church for her phone, returned, picked up her phone and said, "I can't find my phone anywhere." And yet that's not the worst my family has done."
"My dad once stopped mowing the lawn to tell me to put the lawnmower (big red lawnmower with an 8 foot deck) onto the trailer so when he was done mowing the lawn we could tow it to the next location. It took a bit of explaining why I said, "No.'"
Aminar14
Don't Jump
"In a wedding I was alone, probably 13yo, exploring the space which was filled with beautiful gardens, when I found a large space, it's ground looked wavy like a skateboard park except it was black, I figured it was plastic so I jumped on it. It wasn't plastic."
"It was a net covering a biga** water reservoir and I sank in it knees deep before I got right out. Went back to my parents and no one noticed my legs we're super wet before they finally dried out, and my crazya** story I never told anyone stayed buried in my memory... Thus far at least."
thingusracamagucous
The Toot Maker
"Decided to mask a fart with a cough during class one day at school. Coughed, fart came out a second late. It was a cheek slapper. Then immediately proceeded to blame the kid next to me. Everyone knew it was me, and I still cringe about that moment to this day."
Dive In
"When I was younger my friend and I were messing around in my basement when we found some chemicals used in swimming pools and whatnot."
Giphy"We started playing scientists and began mixing them all up in random ways and to this day I'm still surprised we didn't blow ourselves up or melt our faces off. Good times."
amlammy
Hot Press
"I decided to save time by ironing my shirt while I was wearing it and burned my boob." ~ RhinestoneHousewife
"Hair straightener! Only works well for button plackets and hems though, and is very, very hot immediately after. Also the risk of ironing leftover hair product into your shirt. All of this to say, I have also done this, while thinking I was being smart about it." ~ savvyjiuju
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...The Licker
"Licked a saucepan that I just got off the stove when I dropped a bit of sauce on the edge of the pan. Walked around with a second degree burn on my lower lip and a numb tongue for 2 weeks. A close number two is trying to catch a kitchen knife that fell off the counter while doing the dishes. Luckily it only grazed the side of my hand, but it was with the sharp side towards my hand so now I have a cool little scar there. These are all reasons why I'm no longer allowed in the kitchen XD." ~ L_Greenleaf
Gamer
"Bought a Dreamcast two weeks before they stopped making games for it." ~ opus_4_vp
Logo 90S GIFGiphymetal + microwave = bad...
"When I was like 10 I was craving an ice cold coke, but all the cans were warm. I figured I’d toss one in the freezer for 20 minutes but forgot about it, and only rediscovered it a couple hours later frozen solid. I needed a quick way to defrost that tasty beverage just enough to be drinkable, so I tossed it in the microwave."
"Only upon seeing the flurry of blue sparks did I remember that metal + microwave = bad. Realistically this probably isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in terms of negative impact on my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a bigger idiot." ~ its_average
Square One
"I moved 1,000 miles away from home and had a hard time finding a job when I got there. After a few months of searching I finally did get a job, but I overslept twice in the first week and was late to work both times. They fired me that Friday and I was back to square one." ~ DanHam117
daredevil...
"There was a huge hill near where I grew up, and at the bottom was a 4 way roundabout. I was a dumb daredevil as a kid and this hill was on the way home from school, so naturally one day my friend watched me as I rode down the hill, my bike could not go any faster, and I went through the roundabout, narrowly missing 2 cars in the process. I did this twice until I realised how dumb it was. As an adult now, every time I go through that roundabout in my car I picture what could have happened, and how big a twat I was." ~ TheRealReapz
911
"I tried heroin with a guy I had just met. I overdosed and only survived because he called an ambulance." ~ YourYam
Kill Me Smh GIFGiphyLong Shift
"One time I was exhausted after a really long shift, and going to take a shower. So I got undressed, carefully folded my clothes, and placed them in the toilet. Then I stood there, staring at them, thinking 'I know something is wrong here, but I'm not sure what." ~ Crocutaborealis
Our brain is just going to malfunction.
Don't panic.
It is also perfectly normal to be a bit... scattered.
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