Let’s face it: kids do stupid things. We’re all guilty of it.
I did a lot of stupid things as a child. Once, I drank kerosene out of a kerosene lamp, presumably to see what would happen (hint: what happened involved the emergency room).
Sometimes, as kids, we do something that’s more than stupid; it’s really wrong and f*cked up. Those are the things that people regret doing when they look back on it.
Plenty of Redditors came name the things they did as children that they now regret, and they’re more than happy to share.
It all started when Redditor blazed_toucan asked:
“What f*cked up thing did you do as a kid?”
Unfaithful
"In 7th grade my best friend asked me if I would go and ask the boy she liked if he liked her and if he would go out with her."
"I went over and asked him if he liked her, he said no, then I asked if he liked me, he said yes, and then I asked him to be my boyfriend, he said yes."
"Then I went right back to my friend and told her that he didn't like her, but that he liked me and was now my boyfriend."
"I don't know why I did that."
– Deleted User
"I did a similar thing. My friend had a boyfriend. So I thought it was cool to like him even if I didn’t. I asked him whenever he was done being her boyfriend if he’d want to be mine. He dumped her and started “dating” me. We were in the 3rd grade. I never understood why she was mad at me. I was such an idiot."
– borntodyechaney
Prank Gone Wrong
"I thought it would be a great practical joke to bury a corn holder, small handle with two sharp prongs to hold corn on the cob, pointy side up in my yard and wait for someone to step on it. Of course, being a kid after all, I lost interest after a time and forgot. Sometime later in the summer, while walking bare foot, yes, I stepped on it. F*ck that hurt. Learned a valuable lesson about practical jokes."
– phil8248
Fire!
"When I was 11, my friend and I soaked a tennis ball in gasoline and lit it on fire and with gloves on tossed it around with my friend. Just cause."
"Ended up throwing it to him in an arc and he missed and it slid down his chest, leaving a on fire gasoline trail on his shirt. Had 1st degree burns and we really got in trouble for that one."
– TriscuitCracker
Absolute Disgust
"Gave my little brother ex-lax and told him it was chocolate when we were under 10. I knew it would give him diarrhea, but I didn’t know how badly. It was f*cked up."
– pettybage
"So I went to Philmont (a huge ranch in New Mexico owned by the Boy Scouts where you can do lots of hiking) this past summer. They have very strict bear policies, meant to prevent any kind of negative encounter with a bear. Ie, don't try to feed the bears, clean up your trash, hang your bear bags correctly. If you don't follow these rules, they will send you home, as a bear that knows it can find food around humans is a danger to both the bear and the humans."
"We were talking with some of the staff one day about bears and stuff, and one of them told us about an incident involving ex-lax. Now they recommend you bring something like ex-lax with you in the first aid kit, since it's fairly common for scouts to get constipated. The diet the feed you is probably very different from what you'd eat at home."
"Anyway, there was a troop a number of years back that had brought way more ex-lax than they needed to. So what did they do with it? Instead of leaving it in the locker at base camp, they made a "pie" out of it on like the third day on the trail. There had been a bear in the area, and they knew that, so they left the "pie" out to try to lure the bear in so they could see it. The adults in the troop were completely on board with the idea, too."
"Of course, with its super strong sense of smell, the bear found it. Unfortunately, the bear decided it liked the "pie" and followed them for the next few days, sh*tting runny diarrhea the entire time. Bear poop smells bad to begin with, but bear diarrhea is even worse. Finally, after like three or four days following them, the bear tore into everyone's backpacks overnight, destroying everything."
"After coming clean to staff about what happened, they got kicked off the trail, Philmont placed a permanent ban on their troop (their troop could never go to Philmont again), Philmont had to call in the State game wardens to kill the bear, because it was too comfortable around people, and the troop leaders were charged with bear baiting, which is a felony. So all in all, not a good day for anyone involved."
– a_lonely_trash_bag
The Dangers Of Book Fairs
"I tried to poison my mom's boyfriend. I was probably around 11. I had one of those science kits from the Scholastic book fair. I took the citric acid and dumped the whole container into his drink. He sipped it and just said, "this tastes like sh*t" and dumped it out lol"
– Zipperpants
"This made me laugh. Imagine being so happy you're going to kill the person you hate, just to watch them pour out your hard work and planning."
– Spacemage
That Backfired Terribly!
"Dropped a rope out of my second story window, tied it to a plastic tricycle, asked my neighbor if he wanted to go for a ride, and lifted him up to the window with the help of my brother and sister. Then we dropped him, and caught the rope before he hit the ground. It was stupid, but none of us had parents responsible enough to watch us or teach us anything."
– screwylouidooey
"Did he get hurt??"
– theshammy123
"Nope. Luckily we managed to catch the rope in time. We used to attempt to parachute off the roof of an abandoned garage with trash bags too. I was hospitalized trying to ride a bicycle on a downhill road in the middle of winter once as well."
"My siblings and I were put in foster care shortly after the window incident."
– screwylouidooey
Watch What You Drink
"I made my brother and his friends a jug of kool-aid with water from the toilet"
– basillemonaid
"Some friends drank some spilled cola out of the ground because they believed it would gave them superpowers. Long story short, they did not get superpowers."
– Ohmnonymous
This Is Kind Of Sweet
"I helped a Jewish kid steal a Christmas tree. He complained his family never had a Christmas tree"
– Redkachowski
"I feel like this could be the plot of a movie."
– birdwalk
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
"My cousin and I were like 7ish or so and playing upstairs in a room by ourselves. My aunt left her sewing machine in there ready to go. We were fascinated by how fast the needle moved up and down when we stepped on the foot pedal. Then we had the idea to see who could get their finger out of the way before the needle started moving. He went. Safe. I went. Safe. He went. Blood shot out and screaming commenced."
– DaShMa_
The Value Was Lost On Them
"When I was eight, I stole my fathers nickel collection and spent it on penny candy"
– Zerotits
"Oh damn, this made me remember something. When I was little, I took my dad's stamp collection, thinking they were stickers, and placed them all over the house; doors, wardrobes, walls, drawers. My dad was pissed."
– Hobbit-guy
"At least you got something for it. When I was a kid I did the same but with my mom's small collection of Sacagawea Dollar coins. Traded them to a kid in my neighborhood for Pokemon cards."
– TaurineLine719
Wonder How Well That Went Over
"Went to the cinema dressed as a ninja for attention"
– aloiuym97
"How were you supposed to get attention if nobody could see you?"
– Daafda
Talk About FOMO
"My parents used to my peel apples because kids can have trouble swallowing and chewing the skin. I was upset I wasn’t allowed it and when they weren’t looking I took the skin out of the garbage and ate it."
– Aislinn19
"You showed them!"
– em_square_root_-1_ly
Revenge Of The Bullied
"When I was in first grade a girl wouldn’t let me in her club. So the next morning our teacher took away her sunglasses because she was wearing them during class. During recess I snuck into the classroom and placed the sunglasses in the girl’s desk. Then I told the teacher when we got back that I saw her take her sunglasses back during recess."
"My teacher believed me, the girl denied it. The teacher pushed down her desk and the sunglasses were there. She got in trouble for not only stealing but for lying about it. No one ever found out it was me all along."
"And that is just one story of why I am going to hell!"
– Deleted User
"There was a kid name Jeff that was a real a**hole in 5th grade and I went to the bathroom and wrote"
""F*ck" -Jeff"
"On the bathroom door and a grown up actually fell for it or didn't give a sh*t because Jeff was a d*ck either way he went down for it"
– heanbangerfacerip2
I Was Just Making A Promise!
"My sister told me flipping the middle finger was "swearing at God" when I was around 5, and I thought she meant "swearing TO God", as in it's something you're supposed to do when you made promises. My a** was walking around church with my middle finger up till some kind older teenager finally gently told me to put it away."
– TserTaAbmet
I can’t stop laughing at that last one!
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Unfortunately, we as people are capable of doing some pretty awful things. Worst of all, we are capable of doing said awful things to each other--to other humans, whose suffering we understand above all else.
The drive behind these things is unclear, variable, and sometimes totally absent. But hurt people hurt people. It's as simple as that, and sometimes, we are the unfortunate receptor of that hurt.
Redditor Tomato_Shelf asked:
"Whats the worst thing someone has ever done to you?"
Here were some of those answers.
Christmastime
"My parents divorced when I was 7 (my father had an affair), my father remarried and got a new family, my mother remained single and bitter (she still loved him)."
"They always used to argue about whose turn it was to have me, they were trying to spite each other but the only thing that actually happened was that I realised neither of them must of loved me."
"One Christmas Eve when I was 14 they were having the same argument, my dad and his new family were staying in a hotel and told my mum they hadn’t booked a room for me, I walked to my mums and she said it was my dads turn to have me and locked me out."
"I slept in a car park fire hose (it didn’t actually have a fire hose in it). I was so scared and cold (skinny kid) I knew I couldn’t ask my friends to stay because it was Christmas Eve and already close to midnight by this point, I started to cry when the snow started falling at about 3am."
"I wish I had known back then that I could have just called the police but my juvenile brain didn’t know that, I went to live in a children’s home shortly after that and honestly I loved it, I still think of my key worker like my dad, he was great."-ILoveMyCatsSoMuch
Dad Needs Therapy
"Was early high school. Joking around with my father, horrid temper, switch flipped with him."
"He chased me down the hallway, thought we even playing till he pinned me down, hand around my throat strangling me till I passed out."
"Burst blood vessels in my eyes. Had to wear sunglasses for a good week to hide em while at work or elsewhere."-MisterJ33
Bamboozled By Family
"My 60 year old mother in law wanted to sign her house over to us because she has no retirement and no money saved. My wife was pregnant with our second child and she told us she wanted to be a stay at home grandma."
"I would be coming in and paying for everything. So we sold our house, paid off our debt, and cut a check for 54,000.00 dollars to her ex husband, which paid off the house in full."
"Then I made 10,000.00 dollars worth of home repairs. All bills were transferred in my name. When it came to sign the deal, suddenly she didn't want to do it. Told us she wanted things to go back to the way they were."
"My father in law told her well then we need to take out a home equity loan to give then their money back. She refused. The next week she served us an eviction notice and moved her boyfriend she claimed was abusive to her back in 2 days later."
"She threw her own daughter, my 3 year old, and my 3 month old baby on the streets. We tried to reason with her and then she had her lawyer threaten us with a restraining order."
"So now I'm suing her for my money back. Luckily my father in law is on our side and we were able to stay with him for the time being."-BananaSmoothie95
These stories really make you want to trust nobody.
She's The Ex For A Reason
"My ex wife made me believe I was making up all the proof that she was having an affair.. for a couple years."
"I went through therapy and anger management, accepted that I was just a f**ked up person and should have never disrespected my loving wife by accusing her of such things. She pushed all the help on me, praised me, etc."
"Two weeks after we divorced, she cheated on the guy she was dating(another affair dude) with me and admitted to everything. I kicked her out my house immediately."-elagentink
Black Widower
"My stepdad stole two houses, two cars, a scooter and a boat from us when my mother died. He then proceeded to commit perjury and tell the judge that he was broke because he paid me and my sister 60,000 each."
"This got him out of a loan that he had from my aunt, who loaned my mother hundreds of thousands of euro's so she could buy a house."
"Basically he did so much acrobatics that i didn't even get my own bed or clothes back, and he ended up with everything that could remotely be stamped as my mother's property."
"Overall, the worth of everything he stole (not just from my side of the family, but his EX WIFE that he got back to later) is upwards of half a million."
"His wife then ALSO DIES and he takes whatever's left. My lawyer told me i couldn't do anything since now two wives of his died in a three year span and there was no way a judge would look at him and say he owes anyone anything."
"Honestly i think he married my mom and then killed her. The same with his then-ex-but-current-after wife who also died rather quickly."-Toasted_pinapple
The Worst Kind Of Feeling
"Freshman year of college i met a girl and we became best friends. We did everything together. Then one day in class she told me she didn't want to talk she wanted to read. Thats was fine of course. She did that two more days."
"The fourth day she moved her seat from next to me to across the room. I tried to get her attention to talk but she avoided me. Next week we both happened to be washing our hands in the bathroom together."
"I said hi. She acted like i never existed. Soon she left the college. I went to grad school 3 years later (somewhere 2 hrs away) and lo and behold she was in my class."
"We were assigned the same group for a project. She looked uncomfortable and the next time class met, i found that she had dropped it. I never saw her again."
"It hurt me deeply because I had no clue why she did this. We didn't fight. Im not manipulative or catty or anything. This wasn't the worst thing to happen but it definitely ranked up there."-ghostiesontoasties
It reminds you to be thankful of the people you DO still keep around, and reminds you there's probably a reason you have.
The Family Is Often More Worth It
"Dated a woman for a time and eventually got involved with her teen kids and acted in a step parent role for years. Invested tons of my time, energy, and resources into them as a family."
"Then my GF went into a spell of depression and didn't want to do anything or talk about anything. Life went on around her, then when she saw me spending time with the kids instead of sitting on the couch doing and saying nothing like her, she became pathologically jealous and started accusing me of 'having too much interest in young girls.'"
"I spend a LONG time trying to fix and salvage the situation as I felt we were all bonded together as a family. Paid out of pocket for counseling for us, and for her exclusively for a long time after the therapist determined the focus of the problem was not me."
"She NEVER accepted responsibility for her claim and the effects it had. Thought she could just casually dismiss it at will, like she'd claimed I left the toilet seat up one time; thought I was making a 'big deal' out of everything."
"She never spent a second addressing the childhood traumas that openly affected her whenever there was a pinch, even invoking them as an excuse for acting how she did, then pretending they were fixed or nonexistent the 99% of the time she did NOT need to use them to manipulate the situation at hand."
"Finally had to walk away from the situation. Started dating someone else (who was a college debate coach with a PhD in English, night and day communication and interaction styles!) and she acted like 'I abandoned her,' even cheated when I made good on my promise to leave without effort on her part."
"Now a long time later I still hear from one of the boys who is now in his 30s and just had a baby. At least 2 of my exes grown children don't even talk to her at this point. I never tried to assemble a family again, but have had a VERY fulfilling love life since."-MentORPHEUS
Elementary Betrayal
"The girl I had a crush on when I was 8 only pretended to be my friend because she wanted to get embarrassing secrets out of me."
"She then spread them around and became one of the popular girls and I was horrendously bullied for years to come. Worst thing is we had after-school English in middle school together again and she was like 'hey why do you not talk to me' etc.."
"The b*tch made a solid quarter of my life hell and just forgot about it. I'm scarred for life and she will never remember it let alone feel bad about it."-New_General_6287
Shedding Old To Make Space For New
"The beginning of my junior year of high school I had a friend group that I shared a lot of good times with in years past. There were four guys (including me) and three girls, and we did nearly everything together. Toward the end of the year, they began to cut me off and hang out without me, lying about it, and overall just flat out excluding me."
"The whole while I was being told that nothing was wrong and I hadn’t done anything for this kind of treatment to occur, it was just scheduling conflicts or whatever. Nevertheless, I would continue to make attempts to organize things together, but was always ignored or given a lie."
"The final straw came after the end of that school year. I had always wanted to organize a float trip for the seven of us but there was never much interest from anyone else. Sure enough, a few weeks into summer before my senior year there were posts from the six of them on a float trip."
"I was so hurt to this point already that I finally cut myself off from continuing to ask and wonder why I was being disposed of. The way they treated me ate away at my mental health through the summer and into my senior year. I’d see some of them in class and they still would attempt to be chummy, but I reciprocated only enough to be cordial."
"I carried the weight of having my closest friends all up and abandon me with no reason for many years, and I attribute their mistreatment of me to many of the mental health and self-worth issues I still struggle with to this day."
"I still do see the occasional photo of all them together, and they were back in my hometown for the holidays at the same time as me, but thankfully I no longer yearn to be included nor do I expect an apology."
"They were/are incapable of seeing any wrongdoing on their part. It took me a bit to realize how narcissistic a good portion of them were, and the others were too timid to speak out against anything. I have a fantastic group of friends around me now that treat me thousands of times better than they ever did."-logan95
The only common thread through all of these misfortunes is that each of these people is here, afterward, to tell the tale.
That doesn't always happen--and when it does, it's very valuable to be able to see the thing that may have deeply affected you happened to someone else, too.
Hardly any human is ever, if at all, alone. And ultimately that makes up the defining piece of our human experience.
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