Redditor Fun-Lack7534 wanted to hear about all the big signs we need to watch out for when a romance begins, so they asked:
"What is the biggest red flag on a first date?"
If they're too touchy/feely from the jump, then jump... away.
Past Issues
Will Smith GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy"They keep talking about their ex."
Chocolatelover4ever
"Yikes, I'm guilty of that 😬."
palmtreegroove
Look Up Please
"When they won’t stay off their damn phone."
"I hate when this happens. Half the time I expect they are trying to show you something, but no, they are just browsing social media or texting. What's the purpose of meeting me at a restaurant then? You have WiFi at home and could do the same thing there haha."
Carbon-Base
"Had this on my last date, she wouldn't put her phone away. Later she even said, that I didn't talk a lot."
The_Shadowy
Who are you?
"They don't look anything like their pics."
ximby77
"I went on a date with a girl once. We matched on Bumble. She was like a supermodel gorgeous but I really don't care about looks, we just clicked and got along and that's all I care about. Well, we meet at Starbucks, and the girl looks a solid five years older and 200 pounds heavier than her pictures."
"I was obviously taken aback, and she eventually told me she used pictures that were many years old and slightly edited so that guys would go on dates with her. She then proceeded to talk about nothing but sex, in a public Starbucks, on the first date. We didn't have a second one."
whatisausername32
You're missing 2 wheels
"If they have you get on a motorcycle and burn your leg and then take you to McDonald’s."
Johncamp28
"One time, I went on a date with a guy who took me on his motorcycle to a restaurant. We get there, and he rides up onto the sidewalk and stops. I’m not really sure exactly how it happened, but I didn’t realize he was getting off, and so I stayed on."
"The whole thing falls over with me on it. So, I’m laying there on the sidewalk with my leg crushed by the motorcycle, and he just stands there gaping. Then, he had the nerve to get angry at me because some random guys who were standing on the corner came running over and picked up the motorcycle and helped me stand up."
virgincoconuhtballs
Yuck
Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULUGiphy"Poor hygiene."
edthebuilder5150
"Yup! Bad teeth and/or smells."
Take a shower.
Brush your teeth.
Do some laundry.
It's the basics.
Cheater
glenn close GIFGiphy"She says, 'By the way, I am married but my husband sucks and I want to cheat on him.'"
"I had this happen once."
jeophys152
Disinterested
"If someone spends a lot of the time telling what they don't want, what they don't like, instead of discussing their interests and yours, probably not a good sign."
CMarlowe
"Went on a first date once with a girl who had just gone through a divorce and was obviously nowhere near ready to start dating. She was beautiful, kind, smart, etc but really been screwed hard by her ex and talked about it the whole time."
"We had like a six-hour date and went to multiple locations and really had a nice time but I friend-zoned her super quick into the date. I figured it would be at least a couple of years before she was truly ready to start dating someone. In retrospect, I’m so glad because very shortly after I found my now-fiancé who is just amazing to me. When you exclude what is not right for you, you make room for what is."
GoodAsUsual
23?
"Lying about their age. The guy I went on a date with told me he was 23 (my age). I found out through a close friend and roommate that he was actually almost 30 and that his lying about that was the tip of the iceberg in terms of the red flags he gave off."
Bookkeptclean
"Yup, I went out on a date who lied about their age and appearance on a profile (years older and gained a lot of weight), and like the second sentence of the evening was her being like, 'So, let me explain about maybe things not being what you might have thought...' I don't even remember what the explanation was, but it obviously wasn't good enough."
irai2
Hidden Treasures
"She asks for a photo ID. Her apartment is a total pig pen when you pick her up. You sit on her sofa to wait for her to finish getting ready and find a knife in between the cushions. This all happened on a first date and I still took her out. What a dumda**."
"I took her out a couple of times (I was newly single and raising kids, so the pickings were slim). After a few dates, a friend of mine was shocked to receive a wedding invitation. OUR wedding invitation. I was more shocked than him. I don’t even know how she got the addresses of my friends. Just retelling this story is going to give me nightmares again."
Bacontheblog
Oh the search for romance is never going to be easy.
Will it?
I personally enjoyed Europe so this will be interesting to hear.
Expansion
rude GIFGiphy"Y’all are getting pretty damn fat too."
"Edit: it seems people really aren’t ready to hear this since they keep countering with “bUt aMeRicUH!!” We know there’s land whales here, that ain’t a secret."
Windebieste_Ultima
A Dutch thing...
"The Dutch toilet is weird, it's externally awkward seeing my own pile of poo just chilling on the integrated poop shelf."
3pointstonibbadore
"I wasn't aware that this is just a Dutch thing. However, it's not just to admire your work. It's also an easier way to check if something's wrong with your poop. When it's drowning in yellow-brownish water it's much more difficult to see if there's worms, it turned out to be green or sentient."
Ferreur
'world police'
"A lot of European politicians (especially Western Europe) use the US as a tool for international diplomacy that would be unpopular political domestically. They'll openly condemn US foreign policy when talking domestically, but a lot of that policy is stuff they explicitly support in meetings like the G7. Europe intentionally has the US act as 'world police' so they can paint themselves as comparatively peaceful, all while reaping direct and immediate benefit to US military action."
ArthurBonesly
Bad Occupants
"The problem with France is French people."
earic23
French people might agree with you. Parisians hate suburban banlieusards, the rich banlieusards (Vincennes) hate the poor banlieusards, folks from Bordeaux think they represent the true France, the Bretons would rather have their own culture, Corsica hates everyone, French overseas departments and territories (Départements d'outre-mer, Territoires d'outre-mer) distrust each other and so on."
Hodaka
Gone
United Kingdom Eating GIF by Declan McKennaGiphy"Tesco have pulled Heinz beans from its shelves."
Fellattio_Nelson
I love all beans. So I don't get why that's an issue. Oh well...
the equivalent
Travel Click GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy"When you come to America and complain about how we do things here… you’re the equivalent of the American tourist you hate that complains about stuff in Europe."
majestiq
Oh NO!
"Americans do not put hot dogs on pizza."
Potential_System_229
"I’m not saying it would taste bad, I personally would not eat it. Even though I do eat hot dogs. But in some European countries they think that hotdogs on pizza is a normal thing like ever pizza place has such an item on their menu. It’s just like the Japanese that think Americans eat KFC fried chicken as the center piece on Christmas."
Potential_System_229
Free for All
"Nobody should pay to use the restroom. Cleanliness is part of the bathroom attendants job, if you want a clean bathroom, raise the wages of the bathroom attendant, don’t pass along the charge to the customers. I also find it ironic that the same people against tipping find no problem with this issue."
carissadraws
Neighborhoods
"Us lazy and fat Americans don’t drive everywhere because we are fat and lazy, but because we literally don’t have a choice, there’s no infrastructure for it, even the sidewalks have random dead ends, too close to the street, or you have to wait 5 minutes for the walking signal to turn green/white."
"And even if we could walk safely and swiftly, suburbia is just neighborhoods with no end in sight and it takes hours to get to a store by foot."
"Edit: this also applies to America-lite (Canada) I’m not exactly sure about Mexico and the rest of NA but this is definitely a problem."
Potatoislandthefirst
Hurry Up
Speed Racer Vroom GIF by Prime Video CanadaGiphy"In an unlimited speed zone (fast lane), Germans get super mad when you're driving at 230 km/hr and your gauge goes to 300."
Opening-Percentage-3
Same as US
"They are just as racist and prejudice as people in the US."
SwoleWalrus
"It's so weird, when the Black Lives Matter protests happened I was living in Slovakia, and most Slovaks I talked to were appalled at US race relations, and were in full solidarity with the protests."
"But when the subject turned to the Roma many of the same people would turn around and say things like 'Oh they're different, they're actually just born lazy/criminals/etc. and that's why they live in poverty.' It was surreal hearing people who were ostensibly anti-racist use the literal exact same talking points that racists in the US do."
SuperSquashMann
Where to go?!
"Y’all getting scammed paying to poop."
grumpylemons
"In the UK you rarely pay to use a toilet. People normally try to not close the door fully if there’s no one about or hold it open for the next person so they don’t have to pay."
Aloonatron
"Y'alls countries have a poop fee what?"
robot2004EV3
The Air
"Both air conditioners and fans exist and can be used to effectively cool your home."
bluesteelsmith
"Depends where you went. I live in the Netherlands and by the time i am even starting to consider getting an air conditioner the temperature drops again."
HelloImFrank01
"Air conditioners are not a thing in the UK - they are not commonly sold, there is no maintenance commonly available, there is nowhere to install them in our homes that doesn't take up a window."
"Even if you found somewhere to sell and landlords won't let you fit them, and rented properties don't come with them 99.9% of the time Don't tell me they exist when they practically don't over here. I can't speak for other countries but the UK? They're not a thing."
Iz-zY1994
Fun & Food
Scared Scooby Doo GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Americans have better roller coasters and Mexican food."
ColumbiaWahoo
Yuck
"Nescafe is gross."
ca77ywumpus
"I mean, most Europeans would absolutely agree haha."
gizzie123
"I never seen anyone I know drink this."
Deathiarel22
The Show
"If you visit NYC with empty luggage you will save a great deal of money shopping in Long Island or NJ. The 'deals' in the city aren't great. Also Walmart is just a store, do not expect a show."
who_said_I_am_an_emu
"I always take my European visitors for a trip to Walmart in a preferably lesser part of town. It sure is a show. Never disappoints."
olearygreen
Structures
"America doesn't do much better than y'all, but comparatively most of Europe is an accessibility nightmare for disabled folks."
HuaHuzi6666
"True. Public buildings got a lot better in the last years. Especially in bigger cities. It probably comes back to the average age of buildings in Europe vs the US. We have a crap ton of very old buildings/public buildings that were never build/designed for accessibility, elevators, etc."
"The town I live in was first mentioned in the 11th century, with the current town hall being there for a couple hundred of years. No one thought about wheelchair access when the US was still British. It got a ramp a couple of years ago for the back entrance, but still has stairs as the only means to reach the second floor."
fuhquan
Origins
Read Sewing Bee GIF by The Great British Sewing BeeGiphy"Most of the world’s problems started in Europe, including America."
imnotwallaceshawn
"Yeah, you are absolutely right about that. We Europeans f**ked up a LOT in history and still do today. Hopefully a bit less but I'm not sure if I can judge that."
Fatie_co
Well that's an earful. Hopefully nobody is offended.
I give no creepy people a chance. I barely give anybody a chance.
“hi, I miss you”
"Guy had serious untreated mental health problems, which resulted in him spending four years stalking me and making me resent giving that one chance. I made multiple calls to police and paramedics because he would call me up threatening suicide unless I would help him. He still finds me on social medias and random gaming apps to say 'hi, I miss you' but I now live more than 1000km away."
WittyMathematician1
“good guy”
"I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a 'good guy.' So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home."
"I spent the night at my moms, he showed up at 0300 when the my let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers."
"It was 8-10 handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified, security escorted him away. Never saw him again but found out later he did the same thing to some girl in Spokane but he was able to actually get in, beat her and landed her in the hospital."
"The friend was dating my best-friend and the 'good guy' was his cousin. I think he really wanted us to hit it off so the 4 of us could all hang out together or something?? He was shocked by the actions of his cousin but did tell me later that he had 'thought he changed.' They’re not longer dating and haven’t talked to him in years and years! This happened 20 years ago in the PNW."
TuesdayWednesdayMe
"check in"
"Met him when I worked as a cashier in a small downtown shop. Wasn't my type and seemed a little off, but I was young and had zero real dating experience. Agreed to grab coffee as a friend and made it clear I didn't have a romantic interest. He became convinced he was Gatsby and I was his Daisy (the Great Gatsby film had just come out that year). Started stalking me and endlessly sending letters and gifts to me at work describing how we were fated to be together."
"When I confronted him to stop, he started having his friends follow me at work or drop by to 'check in' on me. Prowled outside on nights I had to close shop alone. I ended up quitting that job and things fizzled. Seven months later I got a call from a number I didn't recognize."
"It was the same dude -- he just got released from a short prison sentence and was letting me know he thought of me every day and was going to find me so we could finally be together. I made up a story that I was travelling abroad for college and would be gone indefinitely. Changed my number and luckily haven't heard from him again!"
justascrolling
Maybe just shy?
"Back in High School several of my female friends and I (also female) had an off period before lunch, so we were all sitting around a table chatting. One of the female security guards came up to us and told me that there was a new exchange student from Amsterdam that thought I was cute, but he was too nervous to come over and introduce himself."
"I have zero interest in men, but I figured there wasn't any harm in letting the guy come sit with us and helping him feel more comfortable at our school. So he comes over, sits down with us, and chats a bit. He seemed rather shy, and he had about a dozen piercings going up each arm that he kept fiddling with (and a bunch of facial piercings). Then class lets out and people, including a bunch of my male friends, start showing up for lunch."
"First male friend sits down and introduces himself. New guy doesn't not respond AT ALL, doesn't even look at friend. Weird. Maybe just shy? Second male friend comes and sits down. Same thing. Slightly unsettling now. We kept trying to include him over lunch but he would ONLY respond to the women."
"Wouldn't even acknowledge the other guys at the table. I never talked to him again after that lunch period and two weeks later he got expelled for slamming a girl against a locker and choking her to the point she nearly passed out."
Katy-L-Wood
Sorry Bud
"Did one video chat with him during which he asked if he could (video) call me again later in the day. When I told him 'no I’ll be busy.' I started getting random text messages throughout my day that said 'are you okay? Just let me know you’re okay.'"
"The first I responded to, I said 'hey — yeah, I’m fine. I just hung up with you 30 minutes ago bud.' He took that as a sign that I wanted to talk more so he attempted another video call. When I didn’t respond, he started again with the texts. Didn’t even bother responding to the rest. Up to 20 unread messages later before I was able to block him while leaving him on read."
Wazoo53
This is nonsense. Why can't people just be a little sane?
Different People
"Knew he was weird before the first date. I was sad and thought maybe he’d be different in person. Showed up to the date and he walked with a crazy limp, wouldn’t pay for dinner, tried to kiss me 3 times. When I got home that night he sent me a full body nude completely out of the blue. I never saw him again. He texted me 3 months later to tell me I was the worst human and most selfish person he’s ever met. And then he blocked me."
pamshmam
That Guy
"Reading this I realized I actually have something to contribute lol. I gave him a chance in high school I was 15 he was 18. Ended with him sticking his tongue down my throat several times quite aggressively, joking about stabbing me as he lunged a knife at me and laughed about it while carving pumpkins got suspended and no one ever saw him again. Update: My friends and I found out he's now in the military."
powerhouseofthiscell
“broke his heart”
"He stalked me. He made videos of himself crying because I 'broke his heart' after him knowing me for a month. He told everyone I was just a fat wh*re who used men (I didn’t take anything from him or have sex with him.) I gave him a whole month and every time I would hang out he would keep me up until 3am crying that I didn’t love him. It was bad."
ayyoowhatevr
In the Dark
"I bought him a coffee one time and we chatted about our music tastes. Three days later, I was sitting in my dorm and I got a text from him that was just a selfie. I sent one back and the conversation got really boring so I sent him a snap of a black screen. He responded, 'are you in a dark place?' And I said 'yeah lol.'"
"His response was 'well you’ll have to leave soon because you have class in (insert building with insert professor) at 6:00.' I literally never told him anything about my classes so he just freaking stalked me until he learned my entire schedule. It turns out he was a serial creep preying on freshman girls."
Crazybish123
Colors
Watching Chicago Pd GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"On our first date, he told me he loved me and that he would let me pick out the color of our house. The rest of the evening was super awkward. I never talked to him again."
willingtoeatsushi
Guys are crazy. Stay single. That is all.
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I like sex but I'm pretty even keeled about it. I'm not traveling miles for you. It's a brisk walk or see ya later.
TWICE!!
Driving Rush Hour GIFGiphy"Drove 3400 miles round trip, from Colorado to Philadelphia, TWICE."'
Immediate-Hunt4189
"Bro you’re making me feel bad about hesitating to drive 125 miles for a booty call."
matsudasociety
Languages...
"Spent a whole evening with a guy who I had no common language with. It'd just be boring as a social thing."
proximalfunk
"I 'dated' a girl for a few months who I had no languages in common with. Had to bring a mutual friend that spoke both our languages to a few events until I picked up enough to somewhat communicate. But hey, the sex was amazing."
PrideRSL
Get Back!!
"Bought a toy online that turned out to be too wide. I had no experience with them and no clue what the normal circumference for a penis is, but I took the plunge anyway. I'd never been more confused in my life when I unpackaged that thing."
SquilliamFancySon95
Excuse Me?
Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy"Had sex with a woman through a chain link fence when incarcerated."
ExKnockaroundGuy
Wow. People really need more cold showers and meditation.
“the hell did we do?!?”
"Intoxicated Horny Me once brought an ex (several years after an ugly, protracted breakup no less…)."
"Home from the bar. Woke up the next morning like 'the hell did we do?!?' and sent her on her merry. A few days later i was receiving calls and emails about fraudulent charges on several of my cards. Canceled them and requested new plastic, wrote it off as a lesson learned, and went on with life a touch more wisely than before."
FelDreamer
"you up?"
"Stole my buddy's truck. I was staying at his place after a party. He was asleep when I got the late night 'you up?' text. I had rode there with another friend so I didn't have my car. I grabbed the first set of keys I could find, drove to her place, did the deed, and went back to his place to sleep. I never did tell him about it."
maggot_b_nasty
"Uh huh."
"Say some crap, some girls who like dirty talk are always surprised the first time and want to gush about it afterwards because they’re so fascinated or something but I’m like 'I don’t know what you mean, that was another me.'"
santichrist
"You're exactly like my wife. She loves hearing me get as filthy as possible, but when I try to get her to respond the best she can usually manage is 'Uh huh.' I love that woman to pieces but she is terrible at seduction of any kind."
FullTorsoApparition
Randos
Season 5 Flirt GIF by FriendsGiphy"Literally left a club by myself with a random man I had just met and then we had sex in his restaurant. To be fair I did also get free wine and cheese cake."
carolion98
"normal me"
"Can't say I do much dirty talk when I'm 'normal me.' Some of the stuff I have said at peak horny. Although sometimes I call my car a dirty sl*t when I get it washed. Just whatever comes out in the heat of the moment honestly. It can be about nothing in particular, but if both parties are in to it then it's a fun time. Personally I don't get super creative, it generally pretty generic 'Yeah you like that?' 'F**k you feel so good' etc. Then post sex you sort of thing to yourself 'What the hell was I talkin' about!?!'"
Jdsudz
Pillow Face
"In 7th grade Home Economics, we learned how to make pillows. Our teacher provided the materials, we picked our own design, and started sewing and stuffing. My pillow was just a smiley face with 3 eyes like from that movie Evolution that was popular back in 2003 or so."
"Anyway, we got to keep the pillow after it was graded and I took it home with me. Apparently I sucked at the pillow because it had a tiny hole in the back where I could reach in and feel all the soft cotton that was used for stuffing. Of course I used that pillow to fornicate with."
Tru-Queer
Walmart First
"Got a call late at night from a woman I was talking to to come over. Told me to drop by Walmart to pick up some stuff first including some anti nausea meds. Being horny, I don’t give it a second thought. Once I get there, she’s clearly looking a little worn out and under the weather. She chugs the pepto bismol and leads me to her bedroom where she tries to seduce me but then has to run to the bathroom."
"After that kills the mood, she tells me to stay overnight and promptly falls asleep with my arm under her. So I end up lying next to a sick person with my arm pinned under her and who’s farting every so often for some hours. Not the best situation to fall asleep in. Probably got 30min of actual sleep the rest of that night and still had to work a full shift in the morning."
chewytime
Bad Decisions
"For some reason, every GOOD relationship decision I had was done by my d**k, and every BAD relationship decision I had was done by my supposedly intelligent and rational mind. It's basically like Im blind to red flags and green flags alike, and my d**k is my assistance dog."
Freevoulous
All the Colors
"Normal me is scared of clowns. Horny me stumbled across some clown porn the other day. The rest is history."
mwootey316
"I went to a circus once and there were normal clowns performing, and then over to one side, hot clowns. Like, beautiful women done up like clowns. Big shoes and thigh-high socks. Long multicolored curly hair. Carefully applied clown makeup. I'm still a bit confused."
Idiot_Savant_Tinker
The Split
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"My ex girlfriend after we split up."
ThatPoolGuy
"Remember. If you split up with someone (like a legitimate breakup), there's a reason that happened. Don't be fooled again."
SurealGod
To Sydney
"16 year old me traveled across the country to lose my virginity. $800 later, I did it, came home and went about wishing I still had the 800 for a new graphics card. 2009 was wild. Jetstar flights at the time were around $249 from Sydney to Perth, got a return for 600(ish) with all the fees and charges. Spend another 200 while I'm there for the few days."
"Second most expensive root I've ever had. The first being the $1500 I spent in bringing her to Sydney for 2 weeks and realising she's a witch and did everything in her power to make the 2 weeks a living misery. Good times."
Vivectus
Life Wrecker
Jason Segel Dancing GIFGiphy"So many stupid mistakes. Guys, never trust your d*ck. Your d*ck doesn't give a **it about you or your life. It is perfectly happy to wreck your life to get what it wants."
coercedaccount2
"I say a lot of stupid crap while I'm horny the the next morning I wake up and read my messages like damn I actually have to follow up on what I said now huh."
AstroFFA
The Ex
"Ex-wife of 6 years wanted me back one three separate occasions after divorcing me. She left me again after a month of seeing each other each time. During those months she’d exclaim how much she has changed and how in love she is with me. Each time I kept thinking 'in the very long run, this could be good for us and the kids' but honestly it’s just pathetic on my part to continuously give it a chance when it arises."
"And it’s funny cause each time she went silent, got a new boyfriend, then blamed it all on me for leaving. She cheated on me during our marriage and blamed me for it, and I believed her.. Horny me kept thinking 'I’ll never find someone as attractive as her, I gotta find a way to work it out'…. Jesus that’s a terrible mindset. She was f**kin' hot as hell, but man is she crazy."
RustyToaster206
Oh sex can make us do and say... crazy things. It's part of the fun.
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I'm trying, Michelle, but the devil is always ready to tempt me.
Family Ties
siblings fighting GIF by sam maurerGiphy"Every sibling on here has at least one story where you def didn’t mean to push them/hit them/throw that thing that hard."
TheWestwoodStrangler
Bad Kids
"My friend was on the bus waiting to leave school. Younger kid was being mouthy and pissing people off so my friend said something along the lines of 'God, your parents must hate you.' Turns out the kid was an orphan."
StereotypicalSupport
"In school there was a kid I was friends with. He had a foster family. Can't remember what he did, but he pissed me off and I called him a b**tard."
"He then said something, like, 'yeah I don't know who my father is.' I felt bad over it, but I had used the b**tard as just a swear word and hadn't meant the non married parents definition. The dictionary even gives one definition as, 'an unpleasant or despicable person.' Either way, I tend to avoid using that word now."
brokenjasper
“Now I’M the boss!”
"My brother is 7 years older than me (female). He was always way too rough and wild with me. One time when I was 6 and he was 13, we were playing cops and robbers. I was the cop and thought, 'Now I’M the boss!' So I took that opportunity to put him in jail- which was in the basement- by Sparta kicking him square in the back from the top of the stairs."
"He had to jump to catch himself so he didn’t break his neck. His foot hurt for several days but my mom told him to walk it off. Yeah… he broke his foot. I still feel bad about it."
Iceicemickey
Sorry, Ben...
"This kid named Ben kept winning at crap. He was smart as mess with math. I was jealous because my parents really wanted me to be good at math and I had a very difficult time with it. He also got to be patrol captain and even though I applied I didn’t get to be one. I was a short kid, like third shortest in the class."
"It was elementary school so people care about that. So we had this exercise where we practiced compliments. I said to Ben 'I like you because you make me feel tall!' He cried. It was his birthday. Sorry, Ben, I hope you don’t remember that."
spearminttea
Drink This
Choking Cbs GIF by HULUGiphy"My sister was being a fool to me as a kid, so when I next gave her a glass of milk, I put some kernels of corn in it, thinking it would gross her out. It didn't. It choked her. Cut to me giving my kid sister the Heimlich, and apologizing for years after."
hercarmstrong
I never drink anything offered by my siblings. I've learned.
The Lark
Rap Rapper GIF by Lil DurkGiphy"A band once wrote a diss track about me. As a lark, I made a video for it and claimed their band name as a domain to host it. I shared it to Petty Revenge and then Reddit doxxed the band. Felt awful."
MacManus47
Root Beer Concern
"So when we were kids, my little brother loved root beer. Had as many as mom would give him every day. When I was 10 & he was 8, he did something particularly annoying, and I pulled him into a room and told him, very seriously, that he had a drinking problem. He was super confused and didn't know what I meant. I told him, Craig, root beer is roots and BEER."
"And you always want more. You have a beer problem. Now, we didn't know until later, but my brother is super autistic, and he believed me very literally. About 6 or so years after that, we went to a family dinner at my mom's favorite Mexican restaurant and were ordering our drinks. My mom asked my brother why he didn't want the root beer, he used to love it?"
"They have a really good one on tap. My poor, sweet brother looked at my mom so earnestly and told her that he can't have root beer anymore because he used to have an addiction, so he can't ever have root beer again. My mom immediately knew that I was behind it, and I still haven't lived it down."
k8esaurustex
Caleb from town
"I was in Grade 8, we had this new kid named Caleb move to our town. He came from a rough home in a different city and had been sent to live with is aunt and uncle in our small little town. Anyways, he managed to fit in pretty well and became friends with most of the boys in fairly short order."
"So, one day at recess, all the boys are playing basketball outside on a cement pad with hoops at either end. Caleb, hoping to show off how tough he is, decides to start not playing by the rules. He's committing hard fouls, literally punching other kids in the arm when they went up for shots, he missed one time and punched a kid in the face."
"And he says 'what, we're playing by street rules?' A couple days later, he's still doing this and still using the same excuses. We've all told him to stop and play normal, but he won't. So I decide it's time to teach him a lesson. I get the ball right under the hoop, fake like I'm going up for the shot to get him off his feet. Then I bend at the hips and get really low."
"His knees basically come in contact with my side and he does a full flip and lands flat on his a**. I stand back up, make my shot, and say 'street rules, right?' It's at this point I notice he's actually in quite a lot of pain. Turns out he broke his tailbone. But when he recovered, you better damn well believe he played basketball by the rules."
mydreamturnip
I know I failed
"We had one person in our group in University who was not pulling his weight. He would submit things translated from different languages that were not in English, he would submit them without any references and he would never attend meetings. Looking back he was probably just out of his means but it didn't feel like he was even trying."
"My group decided, on a day he didn't come to class to (we assume) purposefully avoid a meeting we had planned for right after, to tell him we had had a very large test that day he had missed. We just sent some messages in the group chat saying 'that was a hard test' and 'does anyone know how much that was weighted? I know I failed.'"
"One look at the course outline and you could see we had not had a test. He dropped the class the next day."
Cotheron
Hard Kick
kick in nuts GIFGiphy"One time my brother poked my sides while I was washing dishes… I retaliated by donkey kicking his groin with all my force. I’d never done that to anybody before.. and I learned to only do that to my worst enemies. (Sorry bro)."
salviaaplaath
Go High. Just try. Deep breathes. Revenge never makes you feel the way you think it's going to anyway...
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