Life can be destroyed in an instant.
Every single moment of every single day we make choices that can further our existence or ruin it.
Sadly, it often feels like a majority of us choose the latter option.
We only get one life.
Why is it so hard to make the most of it?
We're all guilty of poor decision-making.
That's okay, as long as we learn from it.
It feels like there is always time to right wrongs.
The truth is, there's not.
That clock eventually runs out.
Redditor metalnxrd wanted to hear about the people who have brought personal wreckage to themselves, so they asked:
"Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?"
I've watched too many people self-destruct.
It all starts in the mirror.
Don't be afraid to look.
All-In
Season 17 What GIF by America's Got Talent
Giphy
"Took out a mortgage on his house and leveraged all his other assets to go all-in on Luna coin. It worked beautifully until it didn't."
Particular-Natural12
Bad Ideas
"Had a buddy who got scouted by professional baseball when we were in high school. They wanted him in the farm system, his mom wanted him in college. So the team allowed it."
"Dude found meth before leaving for college. He never made it there."
"He's now homeless and on his last legs."
BosskHogg
Receipts, please...
"Family member addicted to shopping. She & her husband made really good money and could have had a very comfortable life. Every single year she decided she didn’t like their house, sold at a loss, and then renovated and bought all new designer furniture for every new house. On top of that, she constantly bought multiple pieces of the same designer clothes and jewelry (why?), art, cosmetic procedures etc."
"Eventually they couldn’t even get a mortgage anymore and were in an insane amount of debt, lost their cars and everything else they owned. She ended up stealing her mother’s credit card to use for restaurants and attempted to make a bunch of frivolous lawsuits which just resulted in more legal debt."
Guineacabra
Out of Recovery
"I helped an old friend of my mother-in-law for some time, she was in recovery for some years. She had drunk so heavily for so long that she developed a neurological disorder that left her debilitated. She gradually lost her balance, her motor skills and coordination, and is now hospitalized and unable to care for herself."
"She is almost a decade younger than me and her life of independence is over. She will remain bedridden and rely on others for her most basic needs for the remaining years of her life. This is neither far-fetched nor the worst-case scenario, people die from addiction every day."
Optimal-Scientist233
Move On
"Staying in bad relationships, doubling down and marrying and having children. Now they have the same relationship problems that they had ten years ago but with children involved."
pitathegreat
Being alone by yourself is better than being alone in a relationship.
If you need a reminder please listen to Ms. Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay!" on repeat daily.
Tainted Love
Shaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY News
Giphy
"SIL is a trainwreck. Ruined her marriage, ruined her relationship with her kids, lost her house and car, all to be with some abusive piece of crap."
ThePelky
Weekly Drama
"A friend from HS won a thousand a week for life. Never went to college. Never held down a long-term job. Always worried some lady was trying to take his money by getting pregnant or or stealing it through marriage. Has had a very mediocre life without much progression or new relationships."
"The rest of the friend group used to think he was the luckiest guy alive. Now we all just try to keep his spirits up when we get together and keep our advice to ourselves. He is aware of the solutions to his problems at a 10-mile view but the $1000/week has sapped his will to execute any self-improvement plan."
TheUnblinkingEye1001
Dead Dreams
"Midlife Crisis... Came to a realization they didn't have something they really wanted in their life. Abandoned everything they already had (job, family, friends) to chase that dream. Finally forced to realize what they were chasing was an unobtainable illusion but the damage was already done."
varthalon
Ruined
"Someone in our friend group keeps having kids with people and then leaving, screwing him financially because of child support. He can't hold any jobs and has stolen from friends. Right now he's crashing on one of my friend's couches. I dunno why they are allowing him to stay there."
dinoaids
Make better choices.
Please.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments.
Redditor Liam_Tang wanted to have a discussion about what's hot and what's not.
"What's not as attractive as people think?"
Clogs.
Stop with the clogs.
Not only are they ugly, they're dangerous.
They're half a shoe!
No Boys
"When guys take pictures of themselves doing that furrowing the brow, biting the lip, rubbing the hands together thing. What is that? Who told them that looks good?"
sterlingrose
GiphyPlay Straight
"Pretending to be or overplaying being drunk/high."
Excellent-Captain-93
"My best friend is this way. I’ve seen her exaggerating her drunkness and then turn it off so quick. Love hanging out with her, but I don’t enjoy drinking with her anymore. Nothing wrong with sober fun though!"
Serious-Association5
"Add on people who make getting drunk/high their entire personality. Do what you want to do, but hopefully there are other important things in your life."
team-pup-n-suds
You "Right?"
"The way the internet has made everyone think they are an expert."
Intellectuallygifted
"This was the case before the internet. The internet just allows everyone to communicate with more people they otherwise would not have. You are seeing a much larger sample size. Flip side, easier to see if they are right or not."
ObamasBoss
"There are so much idiots you either feel like you are an Einstein amongst idiots, or you believe that you are a genius because all other 'geniuses' reassure you."
bop-crop
Bye Chad
"Obsessed about being alpha/gigachad."
Madonomics
"I remember a self promoting giga-chad appearing as a guest at an industry seminar I attended. He said some gross things, nothing related to the industry. I had no idea where the hell they got this guy from, so I checked out his socials. Anyway, he promoted himself as a 'lifestyle coach' and 'alpha male.'"
"His YouTube was full of depressing videos of him in a windowless sterile room he called his 'studio' (obviously his rented bedroom). These videos spanned a number of topics, like how to convince women to have sex using psychology, making money from crypto and weird social theories he had."
"His Instagram was full of pictures of him in front of stranger's Lamborghinis pretending they were his, high-end nightclubs (with no evidence of friends) or dodgy styling tips. He obviously chose to live a lie... And yet this was the lie he chose. Weirdest rabbit hole I ever went down."
AstonVanilla
You be better
"Pointing out someone else's flaws to show how much better they are. Doesn't make them better; just makes them a judgemental a**hole."
Scipio33
GiphyThis sounds about right for society as a whole.
I'm staying in more.
Bored Now
"Playing hard to get. I'm all for putting in effort, but stop giving me signals of not being interested, while you actually are. I'm here to build a relationship, not solve some nonsensical puzzle."
Flux-bite
GiphyOver You
"Trying to act stuck up and showing off by flirting with other guys/girls in front of the person you like to try and get them jealous."
amymay2010
"Yeah, this one has always seemed trashy to me. If you need to make somebody jealous to get/keep them interested, then maybe you aren't that interesting. My friend had a crazy ex who did this shit and I just look at her with utter contempt."
phil_davis
Stay Calm
"Conflict =/= Passion."
IrrelevantPuppy
"Girlfriend of 3 years did that to me. She broke up with me and then harassed me for weeks to get back together; telling me to man up, you name it. It took a huge toll on me. I finally asked her why she would break up if she still wanted to date. Her response? 'I thought you would fight for me!.' Nah bro it doesn't work like that. Relationships are not game."
Jugs-McBulge
Be Quiet
"Some who isn’t being direct, but expects anyone and everyone to be direct + whoever they’re talking to to be a mind reader and gets mad when neither happens."
just_a_wee_Femme
"And the flipside where they proudly declare 'I speak my mind' and have zero social tact, and offend others around them constantly."
jaxsonnz
Can I get a Refund?
"People who show off their money."
realhuman8762
"There's a TikTok that went (somewhat) viral of a guy at the bar showing his bank account to some women (women were smoking hot, guy looked like a grease monkey). The guy had like $90k."
sedatemenow
Giphy'less than'
"Dudes that talk down to people they deem 'less than' them trying to show that they're superior and dudes that really believe in the 'alpha' bulls**t."
princessofpotatoes
"I was trying to word this exact thing but couldn't. I specifically remember being introduced to a friend's boyfriend at a bowling club and him giving the lady at the counter a hard time by trying to convince her he was a member and didn't have his card."
"It made no difference to us getting in and all it did was boost his ego because he needed to control the situation and piss me off. What a fucking twat. It was no surprise to me when my friend told me later he was controlling her entire life (friends, phone etc) and physically abusing her."
BrockBrockway
'hard to get'
"Acting. Acting like you’re hard to get, that you’re interested, acting like there’s a hierarchy. Acting like there are protocols to going on a date, what needs to be said, where to go, etc.. Just be yourself and be honest."
Zolome1977
"What I hate most about the 'hard to get' people, is that their existence gives some other people the impression that those who are genuinely uninterested are just playing. No man, I'm not hard to get. I'm actually pretty easy to get, if I like you. I don't like you. Stop showing up at my house."
fokkoooff
Lies
"Calling yourself 'brutally honest' when really you're just a *ick."
sirwilsonsangrypony
"Brutally honest is usually not related to truth."
"It's usually someone's opinion."
"People who stream-of-conscious say what they think are depending on others not to act like themselves."
"It's asinine."
It's not attractive!
"Men rubbing their hands together while biting their lip. It's not attractive! You either look like a creep or a housefly, pick one."
Nannamuss
"I've seen this posted 3 times now and I have legit never witnessed this behaviour. But yeah it sounds weird."
problemlow
robert downey jr lip bite GIFGiphyPuff Puff
"Basing your whole personality on smoking weed."
PinkBedazzledLeotard
"Basing your personality on any single topic is tiresome. Harleys, craft beer, yoga, football, cross fit, gaming, Jesus, Star Wars, travelling - if it defines you - you’re pretty one dimensional."
BenchClamp
"Meh. Depends on the person I guess."
"Also, with the strength of weed these days, I find it far easier to drink a beer with someone and have a meaningful discussion rather than smoke a joint and wonder if they hate me for the way my t-shirt shows too much of my arms."
Warsaw44
Nasty
"Being mean to other people to impress someone."
*itch-b-gone345
"Does anyone seriously believe being mean is attractive?"
clement004
"Reminds me of a guy me and some friends and others were hanging out with at a bar after an event we all attended. I asked the guy if he had any social media accounts I could keep in touch with him through and he said no, I'm not emo or suicidal or something like that. Everyone laughed and I just thought the guy was an a**hole after that."
knowone1313
Chill Out
"Aggression."
saucelessnuggets
"This one is it. Also hate it when it's casually shown to wait staff and customer service people. Punch up your aggression my dudes."
snowsqual
"I think a lot of guys think women want this but it seems like it's the guys that want women to want it."
Cheshiregrin85
"Agreed. I especially can’t stand when someone always tries to resort to violence, even though the other person clearly had no intention of being violent. I work with a guy like this. Some other (male) coworker will disagree with something he says and he immediately threatens to beat his a**. Also, he’s never been in a fight that I know of."
FaveFoodIsLesbeans
Nobody Cares
"Flaunting wealth. That only works if you're not flaunting, but it just shows. Like if you pull up in a nice car. There's no way you couldn't have pulled up in a nice car. Therefor acceptable and conveys the point. Don't interject your car into a conversation where it doesn't belong though. Nobody cares."
idkburneridkidk
"People really inject their car in to conversation like that? That's disgusting. My 05 Lamborghini mercialago wouldn't go anywhere near those people."
Mattigins
rich gold GIF by OffsetGiphyIronic.
So much of this leads back to bad behavior.
We need better goals and more self-esteem.
A poll of 2,000 Americans in relationships found 71% make unhealthy choices behind their partner's back and 55% have hidden food in their home from their partner.
In fact, seven in 10 actually lie to their partner about their unhealthy eating habits.
SWNS
The study, conducted by OnePoll in conjunction with Sabra, examined the eating habits and behaviors of 2,000 Americans in relationships and uncovered 64% of Americans say their relationships are not as healthy as they could be.
A staggering 68% say their partner negatively influences their eating habits.
But what would encourage healthy relationships? Fifty-four percent say eating well is one way to improve the health of a relationship.
Another 54% say they believe eating well can contribute to improving the health of their relationships – almost identical to those who think more sex can improve the health of a relationship.
When it comes to eating healthier, though, Americans are turning to others to hold them more accountable.
Nearly half (49%) say they trust their partners the most to make sure they're sticking to their healthier eating goals.
And it works: Three in four respondents say they've successfully influenced their partner to be healthier overall.
Seventy-seven percent say their partner has positively influenced their overall life and well-being.
SWNS
This positive impact has encouraged 62% of respondents to eat healthier while a further 59% have been encouraged to exercise more by their partner.
But it's not just partners they trust to keep them in line when it comes to healthy habits. Thirty-four percent rely on a best friend to hold them accountable for their healthy eating decisions while a further 28% entrust a co-worker to make sure they make healthy eating habits regularly.
Besides eating better and working out more, partners are encouraging one another to save money (54%), love themselves (53%) and have a general positive attitude about life (41%).
But despite all their efforts when it comes to healthy eating, 42% say Valentine's Day is a "cheat day" for them when it comes to food.
Is your relationship as hot as your favorite foods? When asked to compare their relationships with a variety of different foods, Americans' top choices were melted mac and cheese or spaghetti and meatballs.
The top plant-based comparisons were PB&J and creamy hummus and warm pita.
“Valentine's Day is a celebration of romance and relationships, but let's face it, not every relationship is as healthy as it could be," said Jason Levine, Sabra CMO.
“Enjoying foods you feel great about eating with someone you love may be just what you need to smooth things over and swipe right."
TOP 5 ASPECTS OF LIFE THAT PARTNER'S HAVE POSITIVELY IMPACTED
- Eating healthier 62%
- Exercising more 59%
- Accepting myself/loving myself 53%
- Saving money 54%
- Attitude towards life and others 41%
*A version of this story originally appeared on SWNS and was written by Zoya Gervis