When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing Lin
Giphy
"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
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"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY News
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"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by Divorce
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"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
"What’s the best example of a victimless crime?"
I'm probably guilty of everything we're about to talk about.
GO!
Yelling The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Eh... I jaywalk and don’t care. As long as no cars are coming I just go."
IHateMath14
Get a Handbook
"Piracy of Adobe Photoshop and other Adobe products."
"I've read that Adobe just allows it to happen, because it means that the young generation of designers and creatives get trained on the software as kids/students, and then when they're at work in the real world the companies that actually have to pay for whatever they use have to buy it, because Adobe products are what people are familiar with."
Just Us
"Prostitution."
"If two adults want to have sex it's 100% fine. But if two adults want to have sex for money it's 100% illegal. It's just a moral thing not a logical thing. Think of all the tax money they could get from it."
Prestigious_Water336
When in Michigan
"Up until a few years ago it was illegal in Michigan to leave your car idling and unoccupied, even on private property. The law was in place to discourage auto theft. But practically everyone does it on winter mornings to warm up their cars. I'd never heard of it being enforced until a few years back when a guy got ticketed for having his car running in his own driveway. Most people were surprised to find out that there was even a law about it. It was repealed soon after."
President_Calhoun
Nonsense
Hungry Full House GIFGiphy"Apparently saving food that was going to be thrown away. Feeding the homeless."
A_Bowler_Hat
How is it a crime to feed needy people? Insane.
Potentials
Tell Me More Jeff Goldblum GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"Pretty much breaking any laws that are meant to prevent injury or harm. i.e. not wearing a seatbelt. speeding, jaywalking, carrying a firearm in public etc. The are only potential victims, but no actual victims yet."
Sufficient_Focus
On Her Own...
"When the school called me because my kid was smart enough to buy a 20 dollar bag of candy, and start nickel and diming it for a profit to other students.
"The whole economic system is based on this very principle. My 7th grader figured out how to make a buck. On her own."
"I insisted on entering the science fair using this scenario as a social experiment. She's thinking about it."
Junior_Interview5711
Zoned Out
"A lot of zoning violations that are more about aesthetics such as having unregistered cars in your yard, not painting your house a certain color, too many or not enough plants, other stupid things that aren't hurting anything other than your nosy neighbor's feelings."
"I agree with zoning for health and safety. But just for showiness, it's not hurting anything. If they don't like my house and yard don't look. Mind your own business."
llcucf80
Simple Stuff
Bored Paul Rudd GIFGiphyMere possession of pretty much anything. If something is considered dangerous/bad, the crime lies in how it’s used, not simply possessing it."
lawontheside
Well, these really were some interesting cases.
Do you have any other victimless crimes you'd like to pose? Let us know in the comments.
Redditor bipolar_bear76765 wanted to hear about the worst things we've heard in an intimate situation, they asked:
"What’s the worst thing anyone has ever told you in bed?"
If I have nothing nice to say, I just leave.
Follow my lead.
Over It
Stay Back Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"I'm not attracted to you anymore. It wasn't during sex but it was still in bed."
Pennywise626
Hold Me
"I don't think you're sexy but you're really good for a cuddle."
JasonPassley
"I know the first and I love cuddling."
Fun-Agent-7667
"Even though I can see how this could’ve been hurtful, especially if you might’ve wanted to be considered more than 'cuddle material,' were you at least able to cuddle your way into self-soothing? Lol."
"Best vibes and hope you have fared well."
Famous-Somewhere-751
Wrong Number
"I got called a mistake immediately after. I had feelings for her and had had these feelings for her for years."
"I thought we would never actually be anything. She was the high school crush that ended up moving away and lost all contact. Through some crazy weird circumstances we ran into each other years later. We had been flirting like crazy for weeks. She immediately cut all contact. Pain."
throwthisoneoutdude
That was quick...
"That she had sex with a friend of mine like 20 minutes earlier."
"I had sex with someone last year who right after we finished proclaimed that she had a boyfriend. Fast forward a year and indeed, they're engaged and sh*t like that.. HOW THE F**!!"
"I had sex a few times with my housemate’s girlfriend. He was completely ok with it as they had an open relationship. She suggested it to me while the three of us were drinking together. He was fully supportive of it, I even took him aside when she went to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t just saying it for her. It was a bit odd, but we all knew it was a no strings attached deal and it worked out fine in the long run."
bg-j38
Pardon Me?
Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy"You can use one of my boyfriend's condoms. They're in the drawer, but they're probably too big."
InsomniumGatherum
"A lot of dudes who wear a magnum have no business wearing a magnum."
redrosebeetle
Lord, I need a bleach bath.
Stop!
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"Just lost my hair due to heath concerns, was pretty embarrassed about it."
"He looks down and goes, 'Can you stop? You look like a man from this angle.' Oof."
Recoil
“'You make me feel dirty when you touch me.' Happened over 40 years ago and it still crawls under my skin."
wyoflyboy68
Tick-Tock
“'Just hurry and finish.' Two or three minutes in, she said it with a look of pure disgust."
Cultist902
We What?
"We have herpes, now."
420_Traveller
"I could be wrong, but in some places it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone. At least, I do know of civil cases where people were able to sue for damages when someone knowingly had sex with them without disclosing their STD status."
Improvised0
Well people really are the worst at times. Be sure to pick your bedfellows accordingly.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor JackHasSmellySocks wanted to hear about the times we've had a change or heart or lust, so they asked:
"What did your crush do that completely ruined your infatuation for them?"
I'm easily turned off, so my list could be long.
Listen
Listen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy"Not listening whenever I would share a hobby of mine but insisting me into listening to theirs."
GuzzDoritos
"Currently dealing with this with my partner."
bobsandgobs
Terrifying
"We had been going out for a few weeks and on the way home from a party, we went to get McDonalds and he paid for me. I have an allergy and they got my order wrong. I asked and it wasn't a problem, they made me a new burger and told me to keep the incorrect one as they couldn't resell it."
"I offered it to him, he didn't want it so I said I would just bring it home to give to my housemate so it wouldn't go to waste. He was completely fine with this. Then a homeless guy came in and started asking at the tables for change. I offered him the burger and he took it."
"My date went crazy at me for giving away the burger that he had paid for (even though he was okay with me giving it to my housemate?) and followed the homeless man, shouting at him to give it back. Then got the guy kicked out of the restaurant."
"It was terrifying. He went from easy-going and charming to furious in a split second. Then when he sat down again, he acted like everything was normal and asked me if I wanted to go home with him! It was a side of him I hadn't seen before. I'm glad he showed his true colors early."
CalmDream0
Tears
"This girl I had a crush on early on in high school told me that she recently broke up with her last BF because his dad passed away suddenly, and, as she put it, 'wouldn’t stop being depressed and a f**king crybaby about it.' I didn’t talk to her much again after she said that."
FuzzMcBeefy84
Evil
"Participated in the murder of a homeless man. He and a group of his feckless friends cornered a homeless man and bludgeoned him to death, apparently for no reason at all. And they were caught almost immediately, because there were a couple of witnesses out of sight and a camera."
bearded_dragon_34
Creep
Elementary School What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Tried to pour vodka into my drink when I wasn't looking."
Fylak
"Same thing happened to me! Too bad the guy was an idiot and didn't get very far after that."
ArcticFox46
Well that is a Dateline episode waiting to happen.
Gross
Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy"Told me that the reason she hung around me was to get close to my very tall best friend. They dated for three weeks before he dumped her."
Eel_OBrian
On top of that...
"Ohhh. This post made me remember a really hurtful one. When I was 17 at my first year at uni I made friends with a girl in my year, it wasn't like instant crush but she was funny and I grew to like her. One day we were going home after classes together (turns out we lived pretty close to each other) chatting and joking."
"And at one moment she says: 'I really like talking to you just about anything, I would have jumped you right now if you weren't so ugly.' I was a really awkward teenager: severely underweight, skin problems and some other complexes. On top of that very introverted - so it outright killed my remained self-esteem."
"Thing is that she actually didn't realized effect of her words, it was like a passing comment to her and wasn't said with malicious intent. That fact actually made these words even more hurtful."
Haoross
'Everyone does it'
"We went somewhere and she and her friends pulled into all three handicapped parking spaces. There were plenty of other spots, but these were the closest. None of them were handicapped in any way. 'Everyone does it,' she said. No, no they do not."
ctdca
"If 'everyone does it,' then those spaces wouldn't have been open in the first place."
Princess_Moon_Butt
"Growing up with two disabled parents, I unfortunately can confirm there are a lot more people like her than you would think. There isn't always a disabled person needing that parking spot, but when you're disabled, there's always an a**hole who beat you to it."
softcockrock
It worked out OK
"She mentioned her last name. I recognized it. Haha. It's probably a good thing. Found out her grandmother was my grandfather's older sister. It worked out ok. We were on a double date sorta deal with her friend and my friend. We found that out pretty early in the night. We literally laughed our a**es off for 15 minutes, making jokes and traded dates. I ended up dating her friend for about 4 years."
New-Sir-4662
Trash
Mr Potato Head Litter GIF by City of Greenville, NCGiphy"He littered. Just opened his car door and dropped out a McDonalds bag on the ground. That killed it right there."
WackyShirley
The Larry
"Turns out she had absolutely no filter. She took pride in 'saying what was on her mind,' which was kind of cute at first, until I realized that she literally meant it, every thought in her head spewed out of her mouth no matter who could hear it. Not a day went by where she didn't get into an argument with someone over some insensitive or insulting comment that she made. She was the female embodiment of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm."
raxtich
These are all valid reasons to drop someone if we're being honest.
Has this ever happened to you over something small? Let us know in the comments below.