Redditor 9_Soldiers_In_A_Bear wanted to hear about the times everyone ruled the clap back.
So they asked:
"What’s the most badass thing you’ve accidentally said in the heat of the moment?"
I have a journal full of... "wish I had said that" moments. I need to be more present.
When in High School...
Criticize Lucille Bluth GIFGiphy"I didn’t realize the nature of my comment when I wrote it... but in high school, one of my teachers did end-of-the-year anonymous evaluations. Everyone hated him, and I understood why but I still did well in his class. I wrote 'I don’t have any critiques about your teaching, but I think you should work on being a better person.'"
hannahicebear
"You feeling froggy?"
"Big burly former marine/mercenary from Iraq was back stateside, huge f**king mountain of a man. We came to face each other in one of the narrow corridors of the office where one of us was gonna have to turn sideways. Neither of us turned, but we stopped. I'm 6'1 260 and he still towered over me. He was a nice guy, but still a little... 'conditioned.''"
"I guess you could say or mentally unhinged. He looked me dead in the eye and said, 'You feeling froggy?' It truly was like something out of a movie. Without blinking I replied, 'You better jump.' We both cracked up and turned sideways, while the office breathed a collective sigh of relief."
jvhero
In Particular
"I am a fourth grade teacher and one day I was up at the board and struggling to remember how to spell a particular word. I was trying to make light of it, telling the kids that sometimes adults need help with spelling too. One student replied, 'It is because you were poorly educated. But don’t worry, we are poorly educated too. Double whammy.'"
LapshuNaUshii
Viability
"At work project management undercut and mismanaged a project so badly. They pushed getting minimum viable product out with the goal to roll out improvements later. Product released, they all patted themselves on the back and moved on. Then that minimum viable product broke."
"In a meeting we had with our directors about how its so broken and the cost to fix it etc (no cost too big, unlimited manpower etc) I asked 'How come we couldn't afford to do it right, but we can afford to do it twice?'"
MikeLanglois
People can be very creative at the comeback.
"wrong"
matthew jump GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy"A couple months ago, my (now ex) friend was telling me all the things that were 'wrong' with me, and she finished it with" ...and at least I don't have to wear makeup to look pretty.' I was so fed up with her sh*t, so I responded, 'At least I am capable of looking pretty.' She was speechless and I felt like such a bada** because this was the first time I ever stood up to her."
OliviRamon
Sit Down
"I'll never forget the moment a family walked into the local pub I was working at while I was working. This big king-of-the-grill bald alpha patriarch Dad type and his wife and kids came through, I said 'Welcome, where would you like to sit?' And he snapped back 'Well a table would be nice,' and without missing a beat at all I replied 'actually we usually sit on the chairs here,' I'll never forget the satisfaction of that moment or the look on his face haha."
lugh111
hey ladies...
"My uncles were *itching about my dad so I walked into the conversation and told them it wasn't polite to talk about people behind their backs. My uncle turned to me and said I shouldn't interrupt when the men are speaking and completely out of character I replied 'I don't see any men in here' ... boy did I get some s**t that day but that's how I knew I won that exchange."
kebabish
Damage
"I worked in cellphone sales for a few years and a woman came in with a fairly new flip phone (this was 2018 we just still sold them). She was complaining cause one of the sides of the screen was dangling off and said she didn't do anything it just snapped, and demanded a new phone."
"I told her 'that looks like physical damage and we don't have any coverage for that since you didn't buy a phone protection warranty.' She insisted it wasn't physical damage and the phone just sucks and broke itself. She started freaking out and calling me all kinds of names and swinging her phone in my face."
"And then the top half of the phone LITERALLY snapped off and landed on the counter in front of me. I just looked her in the eyes and said: 'Well that was definitely physical damage.' She lost her sh*t at my comment and it was weirdly satisfying."
fizzywaterisfizzy
Pass
Desus And Mero Pass GIF by Bernie SandersGiphy"I was accused of being passive aggressive. I replied 'Which part sounded passive? I don't ever want to come across as passive.'"
kezopster
And mic dropped.
Do you have any comebacks for the ages? Let us know in the comments below.
