Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.
They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.
But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.
And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.
Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:
"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"
Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.
Garbage
"They throw trash out a car window."
shershae
"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."
Pinkmongoose
Random Aisles
"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."
glockops
"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."
"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."
weedtrek
Be Responsible
"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
Sona-kin
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."
nakedwithoutmyhoodie
Rude
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount Movies
Giphy
"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."
flowerzforthedead
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.
Cold-Load-4388
If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.
Why do people have to crap talk?
Check Please
Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISE
Giphy
"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."
CaptainLawyerDude
Others
"Lack of consideration for others."
NewVAinvestor1
"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."
Sh3lls
No!
"When they can't take no for an answer."
NerdyPlaneResident
"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."
SergeantPsycho
Professions
"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."
Leekayleigh_
"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."
CurvePuzzleheaded361
Offensive
For Real Wow GIF by DeStorm
Giphy
"Zero manners."'
Fuzzteam7
"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."
berrey7
"BUT"
"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."
GimmickInfringement1
I hate a BUT.
Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.
"What is the dumbest thing you've heard an adult say?"
Legend Has It, I Hope?
"She said mountains were created by men shoveling dirt."
"Really?"- Hail2ThaVee
One Or The Other Dear...
"It's just a fact in my opinion."- ShowMe_Your_Panties
“'Facts can be wrong'."
"'Only opinions can be always correct because it’s my truth'.”
'From a 28 year old woman."- dizzzzzzzzzzzzzz
We Can Learn A Lot From Our Children, But...
"Children don't need to be educated, they will tell you what they need to learn".
"Her 3 year son is running on the street, decides when he goes to bed and is very aggressive towards children and grownups.."- Placeboooooo
Quitting
"The more you drink, the less attached you'll get to it, thereby making it easier to quit'."
"Some dude on Discord in response to a post I made about quitting alcohol."- tuffguy1992
Drunk Cbs GIF by Paramount+GiphyWishful Thinking...
"'Things will get better for us when the baby is here'."- champsammy14
Someone Didn't Pay Attention In Anatomy
"After my dad got prostate cancer, an adult asked my wife how likely she would be to get prostate cancer and when women should get their prostates checked."
"It’s me."
"I’m the dumb adult."- WangHalen
At What Cost Though?
"Heard an engineering student say 'smoking is actually good for you because it makes you lose weight'."- UnluckyInflation4130
A Few Million Miles Off...
"Me and my grandma got to watch the sunrise on top of Mt. Haleakala in Hawaii."
"Off in the distant horizon we could see an airliner jet crossing the sun's path."
"She was horrified that the plane may have crashed into the sun."- darkshark9
Terrified To Know The Context
"'They don't need anesthesia; newborns don't feel pain'."- BitCritical1049
How Long Have You Got?...
"I work in retail."
"The limit of stupidity does not exist."- bbix246
Black Friday Thanksgiving GIF by NBCGiphyEasy To See Where He Got Confused...
"I was at work talking about how my rabbits had babies, a guy I worked with thought rabbits hatched from eggs."
"Because of Easter and Easter chicks and rabbits."- Cannibal_Cyborg·
Wrong On So Many Levels...
"Years ago I was able to visit the National Mall in D.C."
"As I was walking near the nurse's memorial, I heard a mother explain how the nurses were so brave in the Vietnam war."
"Then the child asked if we won the war.'
"She said yes."
"Then the child asked why we were fighting in Vietnam."
"Her response?'
"'Oil'."- pedantic_dullard
Maybe They Shouldn't...
"Planes don't fly in the rain."
"Work today proved that's false."- bpanio
GiphyWe've all had an embarrassing slip of the tongue every now and then that we deeply regret.
Do you have any examples you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments below.
A recently deleted Redditor wanted to compare notes on parents, so they asked:
"What screams 'I’m a terrible parent?'"
I can't tell anyone how to be a parent.
But I have a few ideas on how to make a few tweaks.
recording homer simpson GIF"I'm SUPER fascinated in finding out how this generation of kids who are growing up with cameras in their faces turn out. Seeing as generations tend to do the opposite of how their parents raised them, it’d be funny if the babies born now, completely revolt against all things social media 😅."
WildflowerChickpea
Just Say It!
"Not saying sorry to your kid when you are in the wrong or made a mistake."
SuvenPan
"I used to struggle with this. I became so used to excusing my existence that I became habitually defensive. Admitting that I’m wrong is still a conscious effort for me."
"For my children, I try to model being magnanimous when getting something wrong; if they correct me and they’re obviously right, whether it be with discipline or information, I try to go out of my way to say I was wrong and thank them for telling me. I think I’m doing better? Hard to tell."
darklightner11
Crap Talk
"Talking crap about your ex in front of your kid."
Material_Ambition_95
"There was this woman who would rant about her ex-husband in front of her kids all. the. time. and their faces would look so sad and hurt. You may hate that man but your kids have part of his DNA and they take everything you say to heart. It's a poisonous and manipulative thing to do."
Antidote_to_Chaos
"Adding to that, telling your kid about the 2 fraudulent lawsuits you’re creating against their other parent. And telling them how you’re going to hire a private investigator against the other parent. All while ignoring the child when they tell you 'Don’t talk to me about -other parent- you’re making me uncomfortable.'"
Fluffy-kitten28
That's Funny?
"Filming your child trying to mock them only because 'it's funny' when it's clearly uncomfortable for them, and then post the video on the internet."
arrastre
"I was an assistant manager at Spirit Halloween a couple of years ago and there was a couple there who filmed their clearly terrified young child screaming and crying at the animatronics, and they laughed. It hurt my heart."
carlykerfuffle
"Those videos of kids happily sitting down to blow out birthday candles, and then a pr*ck slams their face in the cake. WTF."
jpr_jpr
Bye Bye Bye
Sport Soccer GIF by Real MadridGiphy"If their kids are older, and want nothing to do with them."
spicy-bae
"Mom screams at me to move out and never talk to her again if she is such a bad mother. I move out and never talk to her again. Surprised Pikachu face."
No_Scale7584
No communication between adult kids and parents, speaks volumes.
Listen Again
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"Defending every action/behavior of your kid without hearing the other party's side. It's obviously natural and important to listen to your child, but you should not be disregarding the fact that your kid can make mistakes and is not perfect."
LeonLunaLola
"Or, for that matter, believing every story you hear about your child, no matter how outlandish it may be."
notthesedays
It's YOU
"When you use your kids as emotional support figures or use them to cover your own irresponsibility. You had a 20-year head-start on your kid, yet they're already more responsible and mature."
Osteo-Malaka-cia
"I just got the image of my dad in my head while reading this. No wonder why I don't pick up that f**ker's phone call. It's unbelievable how someone over 50 y/o can have the financial responsibility of an 8-year-old in a candy shop."
Zahard_Zj
Rude
"Trying to gossip with one of your children about the other one."
LennaPine
"My mother did this with all of her children - me, my sister, and our two older half-brothers from my mom's prior marriages. Before I cut contact with her, she'd call me and would bash my sister for 15-20 minutes."
"Or she'd talk sh*t about one of my older brothers and their wives/children. My sister would mention to me how our mom talked sh*t about me while on a call, etc."
"It's because of that; none of us siblings really communicate with or trust each other. We either fully cut contact with our mom or severely minimized contact."
shaoting
Are You Serious?
"An idiotic name (circa AITA Krxtxl) or anything similar. Any parent I’ve ever seen who does this crap treats their kid like an accessory. iPad/phone parents. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against screen time but there has to be some boundary) I had a child in my last preschool class who literally ONLY spoke in YouTube quotes or video intro styles."
"I had to have him at age 4 permanently removed from my class for hockey fighting a kid and screaming 'It’s a prank f***er.' So yeah... there’s been a lot of varying degrees of screen obsession but that was one of the worst. That and the kid who hit my co-teacher in the face with a poop-filled hand for putting the iPads away for lunchtime."
Sea-Butterscotch383
No Excuses
No Way Smh GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"Parents not punishing their kids. All kids are different and some things might not work but if your child is actively disrespecting a teacher or physically hurting another person and your first thing is to make an excuse."
nope123ee
Parenting ain't easy.
No one said it was gonna be.
And sounds like some of us may need to rethink doing it.
Curious to hear from those who've eventually become wise to the ways of a parent or other adult figure, Redditor i_cant_have_dairy asked:
"What's something you were told as a child by adults, that you now realize is complete bullsh*t?"
Parents hoping to prevent a bad habit had interesting things to impart.
Advancing Bone Degeneration
"Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis."
– Haik11
Stroking Fear
"If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."
– K333N4N
Interesting things were said in school but not everything stuck.
The Threat That Didn't Land
"HS teachers: 'That stuff won't fly in college" College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️'
– Comfortable_Wish_930
An Easy Pass For Today
"I got this BS all through school. 'I'll let this slide, but don't think you'll get away it next year...' "You can do this now, but don't think it'll happen in Middle School...' 'Don't expect to get away with this in High School...' 'Yeah, we'll let this go in High School, but if you think you'll get that sort of accomodation in college/the real world...(evil laugh)'. "
"Eventually, I caught on that it was more dependent on the teacher's attitude rather than anything else. Small example, in high school I couldn't remember the name of a town on a test, but I could remember everything else, even drew the diagram the teacher had the board in the margin, just to prove I had paid attention that day. Still got marked wrong. In college, similar brain fart, couldn't recall a place name, but I put as much description as I could otherwise. Professor gave me half credit."
– GrandSpecter
The Wrong Impression
"DARE activities in primary school gave the impression that grownups would always be giving away narcotics for free. lol"
– MiguelinaKnudsen
College Myth
"That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything."
– davidmt1995
Certain behaviors get fact-checked.
The Thing About Respect
"That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a butthole ima be a butthole."
– Ok_Win7358
There Are No Stupid Questions...Maybe
“No harm in asking', boy did that get me in trouble…"
– khamelean
Combating Bullies
"Re: bullies."
'Just ignore them and they'll go away.'
"No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more."
– j-c-s-roberts
Getting Old But Never Wiser
"That adults know what they are doing."
"31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off."
– Brontolope11
You Are Not What You Eat
"That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up."
"Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from."
– Senishte1992
I was a very rambunctious and obnoxious kid, so maybe I deserved the tactic my mother resorted to using to get me to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I acted out, my mother used to convince me she would call the "mountain people" to come back and retrieve me back to the community from where she claimed to have initially found and adopted me.
One time, when I was incredulous and stood my ground after being a pain, my mother told me the mountain people were going to take me back.
So she called them up by using our rotary-dial telephone and faked a whole conversation with them about how unruly I've been and that it was time for me to return.
She sent me to my room to start packing–which I did. Unbeknownst to me, she rang the doorbell to indicate they had arrived to take me away.
When that happened, I profusely apologized to her and promised to behave so she could send them away.
That was the last time she used that effective tactic and the last time I think I was at my worst in terms of my rebellious behavior.
We laugh about it now but back then, I was terrified.
But I can't discredit her for her creative discipline.
Redditor 20195780 wanted to hear about all the things we've done as children that were more odd than regular, so they asked:
"What things did you do as a kid that you now realize is extremely weird?"
Biggest life lesson... Nothing is normal kids.
Eat Up
I Love You Omg GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Ate rose petals. My grandfather told me they are edible. I still eat one when I go visit his grave."
Unsyr
In my Room
"There were spiders and mice in my room which totally freaked me out so every night before I went to sleep I'd whisper a report of what the weather was outside to encourage them to go outside rather than stay inside and bite me in my sleep."
Jimothy-Goldenface
"That is so cute. Rather than wanting them to be killed or refusing to sleep in your own room, you just told them the weather instead. Super cute!"
tejnno
"This reminds me of what I'd do. I would rotate my stuffed animals that I slept with so they wouldn't feel left out. I did this by putting them in an ever changing line around my bottom bunk bed against the wall. Part of my bedtime ritual was scooting them down by one so I would know which one to sleep with the next night."
"And the one first in line would assume to seat of honor with me on my pillow. As I tried to fall asleep I would think about each meal I had that day and feed each stuffed animal the ghost of that food. I also fed the ghost of my grandfather."
AceTheKid450
Ventilation
"I used to host imaginary science shows where I would get questions from viewers that I had to answer. I don't remember a lot of the questions from my fake audience, but I remember trying to explain that glass actually could let air through, and that was the explanation to how we didn't suffocate when all the doors and windows were shut."
"Young me did not know a whole lot about ventilation."
"I also remembered something else now, my mom worked as a nurse, and she sometimes let me take syringes home with me, both with and without needles (don't really know how I feel about that nowadays, though). I sometimes took a bit of everything from our bathroom (shower gels, shampoo, whatever fluid I could get my hands on basically), and I filled a mixture of the s**t and put into a syringe."
"I then sneaked around the apartment and chose my victim: a poor plant of some kind. I injected a small dose of the magical elixir into the poor plant."
"Super happy this didn't develop some sort of mental disorder for me later."
H-Lunulata
Experiments
"I used to have 'science experiments' in the bathroom sink. Meaning, I’d go the bathroom and lock the door. Once in I’d make sure the sink drain was shut and then proceed to add every cleaner/chemical/ shampoo etc under the sink to the sink in hopes of a reaction. Never got one, but it also never stopped me from trying. In hindsight I probably could have killed myself if I had mixed the wrong stuff. I obviously didn’t."
WilliamHarry
Thief
Stealing Mike D GIF by Beastie BoysGiphy"I used to steal things from my sister when she was mean to me, and then hide them by sewing them into her stuffed animals. She found out a few months ago and was really freaked out."
Pearlhuntress
Ah, stealing, who hasn't done it?
Blended
animation domination fox GIFGiphy"Not me, but my partner used to keep Kiwis (the fruits) as pets. He would name them and take care of them... until his mom took them to blend into a smoothie. That was a rude awakening for him."
spacelordmthrfkr
Eat What?
"I used to eat tissues as a kid. My mum found out one day and yelled at me to stop, (as any sane parent would do) so I started eating them in secret. Sneaking away with a tissue box to another room to eat a tissue or two."
"Until one day when I was about 5 years old I had to go to the hospital. I had no idea what was going on all I knew was that I had trouble breathing through my nose."
"Before my operation I was in the hospital and I overheard one of the nurses say that they just needed to remove the excess tissue in my nose. Naturally I thought that the tissues I had eaten had started getting clogged up in my nose and I never ate a tissue again. I made the realisation at 14 that it was muscle tissue in my nose and not the actual tissues I was eating."
AutisticArmadillo
Jokes on them...
"A few years ago, I was visiting my aunt and uncle, and they had some old film from the '80s of my extended family on a camping trip. There was a full playset there including a trampoline, and my mother was filming my cousins and I playing. I'm not sure why my aunt and uncle had the tape instead of my mother, but whatever."
"I was about 3 at the time, and my mother panned the camera away from my cousins playing on a swing set towards me on the trampoline. Except I was lying face down on the trampoline, full-on thrusting my hips into it as hard as I could."
"Now, I don't specifically remember doing that, but I have a pretty good idea of how my little mind worked at the time."
"I'm certain that I was just trying to see if I could build up enough force to lift myself off the trampoline mat, or flip myself over. Still, not exactly the best thing to be watching with your aunt and uncle, who threatened to save it and show at my wedding."
"Jokes on them; I pocketed the tape when they weren't looking."
gravitydefyingturtle
Almost 60
"Several friends and myself had a fascination with writing in code. We had little pocket notebooks full of codes and deciphering instructions (also in code) and would write volumes of notes between us in code. Notebooks got confiscated by a teacher, we wouldn't tell her how to decode, she tried to get us in trouble. Parents thought it was hilarious. I'm almost 60 and I still have one of these notebooks around somewhere."
kellydean1
Gimme Water
Water Douse GIFGiphy"I used to waste a crap ton of water by turning on the shower and lay on the floor next to it with a towel over my body and fall asleep with a tiny bit of water splashing on my face. I used to imagine I was in a cave and it was raining outside for some reason. ah good times."
Azz*ock
Kids have so much more fun before we learn the truth.