People Explain How Someone Close To Them Absolutely Ruined Their Life
"Reddit user metalnxrd asked: 'Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?'"
Life can be destroyed in an instant.
Every single moment of every single day we make choices that can further our existence or ruin it.
Sadly, it often feels like a majority of us choose the latter option.
We only get one life.
Why is it so hard to make the most of it?
We're all guilty of poor decision-making.
That's okay, as long as we learn from it.
It feels like there is always time to right wrongs.
The truth is, there's not.
That clock eventually runs out.
Redditor metalnxrd wanted to hear about the people who have brought personal wreckage to themselves, so they asked:
"Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?"
I've watched too many people self-destruct.
It all starts in the mirror.
Don't be afraid to look.
All-In
Season 17 What GIF by America's Got Talent Giphy"Took out a mortgage on his house and leveraged all his other assets to go all-in on Luna coin. It worked beautifully until it didn't."
Particular-Natural12
Bad Ideas
"Had a buddy who got scouted by professional baseball when we were in high school. They wanted him in the farm system, his mom wanted him in college. So the team allowed it."
"Dude found meth before leaving for college. He never made it there."
"He's now homeless and on his last legs."
BosskHogg
Receipts, please...
"Family member addicted to shopping. She & her husband made really good money and could have had a very comfortable life. Every single year she decided she didn’t like their house, sold at a loss, and then renovated and bought all new designer furniture for every new house. On top of that, she constantly bought multiple pieces of the same designer clothes and jewelry (why?), art, cosmetic procedures etc."
"Eventually they couldn’t even get a mortgage anymore and were in an insane amount of debt, lost their cars and everything else they owned. She ended up stealing her mother’s credit card to use for restaurants and attempted to make a bunch of frivolous lawsuits which just resulted in more legal debt."
Guineacabra
Out of Recovery
"I helped an old friend of my mother-in-law for some time, she was in recovery for some years. She had drunk so heavily for so long that she developed a neurological disorder that left her debilitated. She gradually lost her balance, her motor skills and coordination, and is now hospitalized and unable to care for herself."
"She is almost a decade younger than me and her life of independence is over. She will remain bedridden and rely on others for her most basic needs for the remaining years of her life. This is neither far-fetched nor the worst-case scenario, people die from addiction every day."
Optimal-Scientist233
Move On
"Staying in bad relationships, doubling down and marrying and having children. Now they have the same relationship problems that they had ten years ago but with children involved."
pitathegreat
Being alone by yourself is better than being alone in a relationship.
If you need a reminder please listen to Ms. Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay!" on repeat daily.
Tainted Love
Shaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY News Giphy"SIL is a trainwreck. Ruined her marriage, ruined her relationship with her kids, lost her house and car, all to be with some abusive piece of crap."
ThePelky
Weekly Drama
"A friend from HS won a thousand a week for life. Never went to college. Never held down a long-term job. Always worried some lady was trying to take his money by getting pregnant or or stealing it through marriage. Has had a very mediocre life without much progression or new relationships."
"The rest of the friend group used to think he was the luckiest guy alive. Now we all just try to keep his spirits up when we get together and keep our advice to ourselves. He is aware of the solutions to his problems at a 10-mile view but the $1000/week has sapped his will to execute any self-improvement plan."
TheUnblinkingEye1001
Dead Dreams
"Midlife Crisis... Came to a realization they didn't have something they really wanted in their life. Abandoned everything they already had (job, family, friends) to chase that dream. Finally forced to realize what they were chasing was an unobtainable illusion but the damage was already done."
varthalon
Ruined
"Someone in our friend group keeps having kids with people and then leaving, screwing him financially because of child support. He can't hold any jobs and has stolen from friends. Right now he's crashing on one of my friend's couches. I dunno why they are allowing him to stay there."
dinoaids
Make better choices.
Please.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments.
Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay |
How many people do you know battling addictions?
According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is "a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual's life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences."
Hearing from those who have battled addictions––and come out the other side––can be remarkably eye-opening, as we were reminded once Redditor YoshBotArmy asked the online community,
"People who have beaten an addiction... what's your secret?"
"I'd then check off..."
"Alcohol. The "one day at a time" approach was too much. I made a chart with a 24 hour day broken up into 15 minutes. For example: 8:00-8:15. [ ]
8:15-8:30. [ ]
8:30-8:45. [ ]
I'd then check off a box for every fifteen minutes I didn't drink. This really boosted my confidence because although I may have only gone two hours without drinking, my brain focused on the 8 boxes I checked off.
Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, etc.
It's now been 8 years."
"You need to want to quit..."
"You need to want to quit, otherwise, it will be a fight against yourself. I quit smoking about 15 years ago after being a smoker for like 18 years. I decided to quit several times but never stuck, always found a reason to fall back into the habit. One day my 4yo daughter told me that she was going to find a way to save me from cancer because smokers are bound to get it. After that, I couldn't stand cigarettes anymore and quit within the week. Never again. I wanted to be there for my girl more than anything else."
"The lesson to take away from this..."
"I realised my binge eating was due to a general lack of self-control. I developed bulimia (exercise is my poison) trying to counteract it, and I still struggle with that.
I struggled with it for years and tried everything under the sun to stop it. It wasn't until I started practicing Stoicism that I started seeing life differently. Then a couple of years into that, I overheard a colleague say "it's all about finding balance" in a conversation about the challenges life throws at you. That quote stuck with me for about a year until I realised I have no sense of balance because I used to be an extremely black and white/all or nothing character.
It's now been 2 years since I completely stopped binge eating, and it was all due to having that epiphany. Took practice to get into good eating habits and a routine with meals but I'm all good now.
The lesson to take away from this - teach your children self-control and the ability to say no to themselves. My parents gave me everything I wanted so I had to teach myself this throughout my early 20s."
"That does not mean..."
"You have to learn to give yourself grace.
Relapses happen. I self-mutilate. I will do incredible for months. Then one negative thought can send me into a spiral and I harm myself.
That does not mean that I undid any of the hard work I had done up to this point. I acknowledge that I made a mistake, identify my triggers, and make an effort to start clear of them. Take a deep breath and try again."
A valuable observation.
"I kicked the habit..."
"I wasn't physically addicted to marijuana, but I had such a mental dependency on it that it was pretty much like being addicted. I couldn't function without it.
I kicked the habit by pursuing a girl. I really wanted to date her, and I didn't want her to know that I was actively smoking weed. I stopped smoking weed because I'd fallen in love with a girl. I'm now married to her, and I haven't smoked weed in over 4 years."
"The most important thing..."
"The most important thing I ever learned was not to fight cravings. I don't mean to give in and use when a craving strikes but for a long time simply feeling the craving was awful. I tried so much to avoid the feeling because I was scared of it.
I saw the suggestion to actually indulge the feeling and just let it wash over you. When I tried it, it was still uncomfortable to want to use but by letting myself feel the craving fully I was able to let it go and move on with my day more easily. Fighting the craving just made me suffer."
Sound advice.
"I wore a rubber band..."
"I wore a rubber band around my arm and anytime I thought about my addiction, I would snap it and hurt myself. That way, I associated my addiction with pain and eventually broke my body's natural desire for it."
It turns out this has merit.
"I have no idea..."
"Coffee. I was a serious caffeine addict (like 12 cups a day), and one day for no reason I just woke up and ... didn't feel like having coffee. I've had maybe 5 cups of coffee in the 10 years since then.
I have no idea why it happened, but I haven't felt a craving for it in years. I wish that would happen for my other bad habits."
"I don't think..."
"I don't think it's a secret. Understanding the addiction. Knowing that it takes time for the chemicals in your brain to reset. Knowing it's gonna suck. Being prepared as best you can. Knowing it's going to be a battle."
"I'm not very far..."
"It was really taking a toll on my overall health and one day I woke up and said never again. I'm not very far into recovery and I've never been to a meeting or anything. I know I can't have it around me or I'll relapse."
We are proud of anyone who manages to beat an addiction and who can speak about their experience so candidly. And if any of you out there are struggling, we're rooting for you.
The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) is a great resource, as is the National Suicide Prevention hotline (1-800-273-8255).
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below.
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Plenty of addictive substances wreak physical havoc on the body of the user. With these addictions, the government has stepped in to make a lawful incentive against using them.
But addictive behavior is just that--behavior.
It isn't confined to the worst of the worst. If an addictive tendency is present, it will find a way to rear its head in daily life.
And so even the most legal, seemingly innocent activities, foods, and items can become villainous sources of the problematic pull.
And arguably, they're the toughest addictions out there. After all, they're not bad enough to become illegal. So they're always around, up for grabs, calling people's name.
A recent Reddit thread pulled together some of the most insidious, above water behaviors and substances.
Account28784 asked, "What legal thing are you addicted to?"
Is Everyone Here Guilty?
"The internet in general, I hardly read anymore or do things I used to enjoy, I'm just hooked on the internet." -- sami2503
"Same. Yesterday I saw a thread about hobbies people have started up since the pandemic started and I've never felt so unproductive. I saved the thread to get ideas for new hobbies. But here I am - still on reddit" -- jasminel96
No Pull More Powerful Than the Biological Imperative
"Sugar" -- look_for_the_helpers
"Truly an addictive substance" -- unnaturalorder
"Sugar, could be the most addicting drug. I think people should shift their conspiracy efforts there. Lol everything has sugar, corn syrup, etc. causes health issues with how much access we have to it... obesity, diabetes, cancers, etc" -- Proto216
*Slightly Informed* Gambling
"Gambling on the stock market like a degenerate" -- CaptFeelsGay
"Oh, that can get real bad real fast if you start doing crazy sh** with options" -- throwaway8u3sH0
"I've always said that gambling stocks is the same as betting on black in a casino." -- crotts1229
Gimme Gimme Gummy
"Walmart sells generic fruit snacks that I swear have crack in them. I actually have to limit myself to only buying a box every three months because I will INHALE them." -- RedactedNPC
"For me it's Mott's fruit snacks. They're considerably more chewy than other fruit snacks i've had and they're so damn addicting." -- versionRaccoon
How Wholesome
"Drinking water" -- ultimatefinesser
"Yeah, I drink probably 5-7 liters a day. I honestly don't know how some people drink barely any - I'm always thirsty!" -- ctadgo
"Hydrate or diedrate" -- musicalwaluigi
Everywhere You Look
"Caffine. It's actually a very physically addictive drug." -- faget460
"I am as well. I've recently discovered the power of cold brew coffee and I'm hopelessly hooked. Every evening I set up my French press with coffee and put it in the fridge for morning. It's delightful but it has me by the balls." -- eternalrefuge86
"I'm worthless before having some kind of caffeine." -- PMYOURBOOBOVERFLOW
Corporate Treats
"Subway's Chocolate Chip Cookies. They are just so much better than anything I can make myself. Heat em'in the microwave for 15 seconds and they taste as if they just came outa the oven."
"Reminds me of cookies my grandmother used ta make."
-- KPGamer2024
CONTACT
"Hugs. And my vibrator. But mostly hugs." -- mammatbone
"If only one could purchase a giant hugging vibrator." -- sQueezedhe
Would Be Tough to Legislate
"Getting really high, changing the color saturation on my TV to crazy purple and red and green and watching old godzilla movies while getting more higher" -- Recordcraptaker
"Love me som old Godzilla movies."
"There are some amazing ones and some real duds though. But it is all worth it in the end. Or so I tell myself after having watched all 33 movies..." -- Zahz
A Couple Classics
"My biggest addiction is my phone. Everyday is a battle to check myself and put it away. It got really bad during The lockdown to the point I was neglecting my family responsibilities."
"The other addiction I just picked up purposely is nicotine. I used to smoke a lot of hookah and missed the buzz id get. I don't like drinking so much so nicotine just gives the little buzz I need to stay sane."
-- sajoser17
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Recovering Alcoholic's Wife Throws Out His Expensive Bottle Of Maple Syrup, And The Internet Is Understandably Divided
When one of your loved ones is a recovering addict, you may feel like you have to take extra precautions around them to avoid any potential triggers.
But in this particular couple's case, the wife was more triggered by the steps her husband was choosing to take in his recovery.
The husband in this situation is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for nine months after attending his AA meetings twice per week throughout his journey.
While shopping at Costco, he was looking for a new bottle of maple syrup and discovered a very interesting option. It was an all-natural maple syrup that had been made in bourbon casks, which meant it had no alcohol in it, but it carried with it the bourbon flavor. The bottle also, instead of being in the traditional shape of a maple syrup bottle, was made to look like a classic bottle of bourbon.
But when his wife saw his purchase in the cupboard, she was immensely triggered and ended up dumping the bottle out.
Reddit user "watkinobe" posted to the "Am I The A$hole" subReddit, to see if people agreed with his feeling that his wife was overreacting to his choice of maple syrup.
You can read the full story here:
from AmItheAsshole
Reddit was wholeheartedly divided on the matter. Some understood the man's interest in maple syrup itself and agreed that his wife overreacted.
Most saw the selection moreso as an opportunity for a "dry drunk" to continue enjoying alcoholic flavor, thus not fully committing to the process of staying sober.
"I've heard that just the flavor alone can trigger a relapse, so it is careful grounds to climb. You have a wife who obviously loves you to the moon and back and is looking out for your best interests, despite her over-zealous manner in which it was done."
"A piece of unsolicited advice - go to her and thank her for looking out for you as well as she is, and apologize for not realizing to what extent you put her through. Hopefully she will soften up. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild." - ActofEncouragement
"Yes the syrup won't have the effect of alcohol. However, you clearly enjoy it and it could be one of the best parts of your day (sometimes the day just goes downhill from the start). That pleasant association with something that tastes of bourbon- that's a realistic threat to your sobriety. At this point why risk it."
"Apologize to her, take a bunch of flowers and buy regular syrup and her favorite sweet treat. Yes she should trust you, but trust has to be re-established. She obviously loves you. Congratulations on your progress, do your best to protect it- good luck" - abrookman1987
More sympathized with the man's wife, explaining how she was clearly triggered in this situation after the drinking that nearly broke up their marriage.
"ESH, but softly. I'm not sure how long you were an actively drinking alcoholic, but it was obviously long enough that your wife is a short step away from being %100 done with your s**t. She was clearly triggered by this, and overreacted."
"But you're really under-reacting to how traumatic and infuriating it is to love an alcoholic, especially if this is not the first shot at recovery you've had. You both need to communicate better. If that means you have to buy non-bourbon flavored maple syrup then that's probably what you should do." - deathoftheotter
"It may have looked to the wife that OP wasn't seriously committed to long-term sobriety; that he'd gone to AA to placate her and keep his life from completely unraveling, but is now starting to look for loopholes and subtle ways to go back to his old ways without technically breaking the rules, and that this was going to be the first in a long series of boundary-pushing."
"Maybe that's a stretch, maybe that didn't go through her head at all, but it wouldn't have surprised me if that's at least a part of why she was so upset." - 2_headed_cat
In the end, the husband returned to his post and added a "thank you" note at the end for all who had commented, and stated he would be more sensitive to his wife's needs during their journey together going forward.
While it's understandable why he may have wanted to try a new product from the store, it's also completely understandable how this could be a slippery slope for someone struggling with their alcoholism, and how one of their loved ones could be triggered by such a choice.
Wendy Williams Tells Audience She's Living In A Sober House During Emotional Confession
In a very honest moment, Wendy Williams told her audience she's been living in a sober home. The moment came while she was talking about her non-profit that focuses on drug addiction.
Williams, a US daytime talk show host, explained that after filming, she does her pilates, and then attends several addiction meetings to observe before being taken to the sober house.
The only people who knew were her husband and son.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, help is available. For more information visit… https://t.co/QO106CQ0C8— Wendy Williams (@Wendy Williams) 1553013370
Williams talked about her previous addiction to cocaine, particularly how she never received treatment for it and was able to stop on her own in the past.
Her statements did not confirm or deny if her living situation was to ensure she doesn't relapse, or if it was to get a better sense of people who do have to go through therapy to become sober.
As she described it,
"You know I've had a struggle with cocaine in my past, and I never went to a place to get the treatment. I don't know how, except God was sitting on my shoulder and I just stopped.
"There are people in your family, it might be you, who've been struggling and I wanted to know more of the story. So this is my autobiographical story and I'm living it."
People online have praised Williams for giving these people a voice.
@people @PSYCHICTWINS That was really powerful this morning. 😢— Noah Bundonis (@Noah Bundonis) 1553019086
Williams continues her emotional talk, detailing her daily routine.
"After I go to the Pilates and go to several meetings all around town in the tri-state area and I see my brothers and sisters caught up in their addiction and looking for help. They don't know I'm Wendy. They don't care I'm Wendy.
"It's the brothers and sisters caught up in the struggle. It's been really interesting, this ride."
Afterwards, she says she's driven by her 24-hour sober coach to the house, where she stays. Her roommates are a "bunch of smelly boys" who she says have become like family.
Doors are locked at 10pm, before she wakes up the next morning to host her show.
As Williams states,
"Either you're calling me crazy or the bravest woman you know. I don't care."
Many would side with the 'brave' option.
I say bravest woman I know. @WendyWilliams finally speaks her truth about recovery. #WendyWilliams… https://t.co/Z1QRytTw85— Don Lemon (@Don Lemon) 1553007386
Wendy Williams just bravely admitted, live on her show, that she’s been living at a Sober House and attending meeti… https://t.co/Y6u1u9C2IW— Gia Peppers (@Gia Peppers) 1553007167
. @WendyWilliams you are a brave soul. #WendyWilliams— Ashlee White (@Ashlee White) 1553008303
As Williams described living in a sober house, she brought up The Hunter Foundation she started with her husband, Kevin Hunter. The non-profit works to give grants to help people with drug rehabilitation and educational programs.