These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Kid driving his new truck down a residential street, wet from a recent rain, lost control and hit a parked car, overcorrected and rolled it once back onto its wheels up onto a lawn. He told the fire chief he had gunned it to impress his girlfriend and the chief just looked at him and asked 'So... was she impressed?'"
AntiMacro
Ricky
"I had a client once who was basically Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, loud, obnoxious, hilarious and every second word was some Maritime slang or a derivative of 'f**k.' He has been on daily eye drops for decades for dry eyes, sure ok cool. I hear screaming down the hall and run in and he's wedged against the wall and the bed just screaming 'I f**ked up boys, I dunno what the f**k is f**king happening but It's f**ked."
"Turns out he mistakenly put Jublia which is an antifungal ointment for toenails in his eye thinking it was his eye drops. The strangest part was the bottle has this miniature sponge at the end so you soak the sponge then paint it on like a gel...he painted this antifungal ointment onto his eye which immediately went red and angry then proceeded to do the other one."
"So he's at the eyewash station and I'm talking to poison control and they are pretty stunned because they have zero data on what happens to a human eyeball when it's painted in antifungal. I can hear the staff at the other end kind of snickering under her breath and she asks can you compare and contrast the eyes? Well... he put it in both eyes. The line goes silent because I can tell she is howling. Guy was totally fine but it was a standout for sure."
krzysztoflee
Will they show?
"Responded to a call of two minors being kidnapped and their parents being beaten in front of them and then taken someplace else. One was around three years and the other one was six. They were held captive in an apartment out of hundreds of residential apartments which not easy to locate, upon reaching there we found out that the boy six was just playin' with us to see if we would actually respond. Their parents were so embarrassed by all of that and vowed to not give them mobile until they are adults."
erectilereptilelol
Bowled Over
"When I was an EMT in NYC years ago we had a call for a man 'unresponsive.' We entered an upscale apartment that was a hoard: floor to ceiling newspapers and magazines, just a mess. The woman who called said her brother was in his bedroom sick."
"We entered his room and it was pretty obvious that he had already passed away. She had placed a bowl under his mouth because he had hemorrhaged which had coagulated the day before it was crazy. We asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she said thought he’d get better?!"
"The joke around the house was 'if you have to put a bowl under a relative who is bleeding from the mouth, call 911. Don’t wait.' Never thought we’d have to advise anyone to do that. But there ya go. Also, it was Thanksgiving. Didn’t eat any cranberry sauce that year."
Sufficient-Swim-9843
God Only Knows
Married At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Had a guy call because he had the cure to Covid and needed a ride to the local education hospital so he could share it. Dude was so high on meth He ended up having 4 or 5 binders worth of scientific looking notes. God only knows what was actually in them."
Flame5135
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"
on fire GIFGiphy"One of my old bosses once built a new shed in his back yard, to replace his old, worn-out one. He moved everything from the old one to the new one, then decided that the best way to remove the old one was by burning it down. He ended up with no sheds and the nickname 'Sparky.'"
Wadsworth_McStumpy
Dead in the living room...
"Paramedic here. We responded to this 54 year old having chest pain. Man was having a heart attack. Dude didn't want to go to the hospital because it too early in the day. That's it. We tried to convince him to go. Got the ER doc to talk to him and he wouldn't budge. He signed a Refusal. Later that same night, his family found him. Dead in the living room. We got to him and started CPR, meds, everything. Dude didn't make it. When we advise you to go to the hospital, go."
Chaprito
Bad Ideas
"Got called to a shooting. A guy says he received a text message from an anonymous number saying his brother has been shot. He checks all the hospitals with no luck. He goes to his brother's apartment but gets no response at his door but sees his car and can hear the TV on. We get there, attempt to get an answer at the door."
"Eventually we kick the door in to make sure he wasn't dying in his apartment. We boot the door, announce police, and find him asleep in his bed. The guy tells us that he got a new phone number and decided to mess with his brother by texting him he had been shot. He then fell asleep and forgot about the text and was woken up by us. So many wasted resources on his idiotic prank."
TheDOC816
The Swimmer
"Got called to a priority job. The caller was kayaking in a lake and said that there was an unresponsive male in the water. So off we went, lights and sirens. We requested paramedics and fire to attend as well for the rescue operation. There were about 6 emergency vehicles attending including a rescue boat. We got there within minutes and met the caller who showed us where the guy was."
"He was just swimming, minding his own business. The caller said he was unresponsive, but really he was just ignoring her. Had a chat with the guy, he seemed alright, said he swims here every day and likes the quiet. No issues. Would have been nice if the caller told the operator that he was still conscious and swimming rather than 'unresponsive.'"
amazingbecauseitis
Chew Slowly
Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Well, I was taking a lady home from dialysis and she decided to eat a snickers in the back of the ambulance, and she started choking. Had to do the heimlich, and tell her to finish her food at home."
HotSoupInYourA**
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
I believe we all live moment to moment literally just surviving. So let's hear about when death is being loud.
A Goner
confused fall GIF by Outside TVGiphy"Briefly trapped under the raft while in rapids white water rafting. Didn’t get the breath I thought I would when my head hit the bottom of the raft. Thought I was a goner. A second later I was to the side of the raft and only mostly still freaking out."
spaceman_danger
Stop Smoking
"I was 11. I had just developed asthma and my mother refused to quit chain smoking in the house. One night I have a severe attack. I'm trying to use my rescue inhaler and its not working. Each time I try to inhale it just goes right out my nose. I panic."
"I vividly remember my mother smoking a cigarette as the panic is giving way to hypoxia. She's screaming at me to use my inhaler. Right before loosing consciousness I realized that was it, I'm dead. There wasn't a whole lot of life to flash before my eyes. A sense of calm and peace settled over me as I collapsed."
"My parents did CPR on me until the paramedics arrived. I woke up in ICU days later with a tube down my throat. The doctors were surprised I survived. My mother never smoked in the house again after that. The car was still fair game for her though."
Saiyanman007
Lungs
"I was choking on food, almost a full blockage and couldn't get any air in. After several attempts to get it out, it sunk in that it was really lodged in my throat and I was screwed. Started to feel dizzy and everything moved slowly. I remember thinking what an embarrassing way to die and that I didn't want my kid to be watching (it was at breakfast)."
"I started dialing 911 when my husband came up behind me and started first aid. He got the blockage out and I started vomiting everywhere. It was very intense. I still went to get checked by a doctor to make sure my lungs were clear because I felt dizzy for hours after and my throat was raw. Took a day or so to heal. He 100% saved my life!"
shadowball46
Oh Crap!
"When I was a 6th grader I was cutting plastic with a box cutter, knife slipped and sliced a 6 inch long and .5 inch deep cut into my wrist, cut almost every vein and the tendon some people have, my first thought was oh crap I’m bleeding, followed by me running to the bathroom and then slipping on the blood and smacking my head of the floor, knocked out and somehow lived."
sovietsexyboi
Just a Graze
Bicycle Oops GIF by RETROFUNKGiphy"I went under the wheels of a semi while riding a bicycle. Trapped for 2 hours until they cut my bike apart around me. Walked away with a graze on my leg and elbow."
PokesPenguin
How in the world? My stomach is in knots.
Lived to see another day!
Crashing Car Crash GIF by Don BrocoGiphy"Squished in the middle car of a multi-car highway accident."
"Air bags deployed/car totaled/smelled burning scent (not sure what it was but assumed the car was about to explode). And stuck in the fast lane on the highway as other cars whizzed by this cluster-f#% at high speed. Lived to see another day! Felt extremely shaky from adrenaline for hours afterward…"
LBinSF
BOOM!!
"House explosion, 3 years old Edmonton, AB. I vividly remember standing next to a stove that someone was fixing in the basement apartment of my Dads friends house (who we were visiting) and next thing I was opening my eyes in in the daylight outside. I completely blacked out while the gas stove exploded and I landed clean in the driveway. My dad and mom were on the front page of the Edmonton Journal 1993."
"I remember distinctly thinking the brightness was heaven and that I had died and fell into heaven- my baby sister had died several weeks prior to SIDS and my mother and father had to explain where she had gone and I thought I was in heaven but it was the sky."
AD_Skinner_no_shirt
So mission accomplished...
"Car accident. We hit a patch of ice and went over a guardrail and off a 40 foot cliff. I knew was dead the moment I pulled my leg free from the piece of door stabbing through it and the blood came out like a faucet. I figured I could at least climb back to the road for help before I passed out so I did."
"I flagged down a passing truck and passed out and died in the ambulance before they brought me back. The firefighters used my blood trail to find my friends car which saved his life. So mission accomplished."
Shes_dead_Jim
fade to black...
"Had a car crash into my house and hit me when I was a child. I was sitting on the couch at the time and it hit me, drove through the next wall into the garage, then came to rest on top of my lap, pinning me down to the couch with it's full weight. I wont go into too much detail about my injuries: suffice it to say that it was pretty gorey."
"It took over an hour for the emergency responders to get me out from underneath it. That hour is foggy at best. I remember so much pain, and at some point I felt this overwhelming sense of peace about the situation. Like, I instinctually knew that all I had to do was let go and the pain would stop."
"I started to let go, and I began slipping away. The pain stopped, the world slowed, and everything started to fade to black. It felt like I was floating on water, and all the fear and agony was taken far away from me. I snapped back into myself to the sound of a firefighter yelling at me to stay awake. Immediately the pain returned and I was fully 'here' again. Didn't hit me until much later in life that I was interrupted in the middle of the death process."
Apprehensive-Donkey3
car slamming GIF"I'm laying in the hospital right now typing with one hand. I found out a few days ago that I remained conscious enough to call 9-1-1 myself even though I don't recall doing that. Pretty much the only reason I'm alive is because I didn't injure my head."
FormerUniform
Good for all of you. Do great with the rest of your lives.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I hope I still have my memory. Then at least I can feel a comfort.
RUSH
adrenaline sport extreme GIF by Sport DecouverteGiphy"For me it was really just 'Oh F**k!'"
"Then a huge adrenaline rush after."
"Mine happened in Airborne school when I was in the military. My 3rd time jumping out of a plane, another jumper landed on top of my parachute which prevented it from opening all the way. Instead, it was pressing against my face and I could feel myself free falling."
"I looked down and was about to pull my reserve chute, but I realized instinctually that there was probably not enough time for it to open and catch enough wind to fully deploy and there was a good chance i’d die. It just felt surreal, all I could say was “oh f**k” and then my chute opened. "
"The dude that was on top of me was able to free himself and he was screaming in fear too. I landed safely and immediately felt an insane adrenaline rush; I was actually laughing hysterically after, probably a nervous response. Glad my days jumping are behind me! Lol that was the only close call."
DefiantFungus
I'm Good
"It was a weird sort of acceptance. I came to grips with the fact I was going to die and I was ok with it."
StanePantsen
"This was my exact experience drowning, I just thought 'oh OK, what a strange way to die, I feel bad for the person who has to find me'. I didn't really even get time to dedicate thoughts to my friends and family, just sort of accepted that this was it and GGWP."
chance_waters
I Lived
"I had a stroke; and on the way to the hospital, I was sad that if I died, I'd never have a chance to tell my best friend how much she meant to me and thank her for all of her support and kindness. I was more sad about that than the prospect of dying. Luckily, I lived. So, I told her that."
haloarh
Derek
"The calm, simple thought: 'Derek’s not that bad.' When I almost got killed with my coworker Derek who we all hated for some reason. I just like stopped hating people that day, realizing even the most annoying people aren’t that bad when you’re about to die together."
No_Helicopter3114
Tranquil
Chill Reaction GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy"Shocked when I first realized what was happening. Then just a lot of peace. Peace like had never felt before. Then, for some completely unknown reason, my attacker just turned around and left."
Bebe_Bleau
Peace is so illusive in life. Of course we find it in death.
Invasion
burglar GIF by State ChampsGiphy"Been a victim of a home invasion before and honestly my only thoughts were to protect my little cousins."
"The adrenaline of escaping and running to the nearest store with them - didn’t make me realize I was cut, which I initially thought was made-up for movies. Glad I haven’t lived there in three years and to this day I’m too afraid of living in houses so I live in an apartment."
throwaway_anoni
'OHHHH MY GOOOOOD'
"This was a few months back, September 2021. I was headed home after a dinner with my wife, 18-month old daughter, and a family friend of ours; we were going 65 mph down the interstate when two other cars got into a brief altercation in the lane to my immediate left (two cars do not fit into one space)."
"My back left bumper got hit and I ended up losing control, spinning wildly and then sliding sideways down the grassy embankment on the right side of the interstate, before going backwards into a ditch and stopping among some trees. My car had missed smacking into a road sign passenger-side first by five feet."
"My only thoughts were concern for my family and my friend. I was screaming 'OHHHH MY GOOOOOD' but my mind was going Let them be okay let them be okay please let them be okay My 18-month old daughter, on the other hand, looked at us wondering why the ride suddenly stopped."
SolWishing12
“lucky son of a *****”
"I was in the rear passenger seat of my parents’ car while we were driving to dinner on Thanksgiving 2016. As we were turning left at an intersection I saw a car flying directly at us in oncoming traffic and right before we were hit I said, 'Welp, we’re dead.' My world completely turned into a beige color (which I think was the color of the airbags?) and we spun and spun for what felt like an eternity until we crashed into a tree."
"All my ribs were broken and I had a lacerated liver. The ER doc came in and said I was a “lucky son of a *****” because apparently my ribs all collapsed inward in such a way as gears might turn without actually impacting each other or puncturing any organs, which was apparently very unlikely and by all rights I should have died. It was a very strange and surreal several seconds of knowing I was about to die and having absolutely no control over the situation."
erichagarty
"this is gonna hurt"
"I was in a car accident when I was 18. As I lost control the car was drifting from one side to the other for what felt like eternity and was ultimately to be stopped by a ditch and a big tree. The whole thing probably only lasted a few seconds before the car flipped over and I lost consciousness for a moment, but I remember thinking 'Oh god this is actually happening"'and as I processed what was going to happen next 'this is gonna hurt.'"
"In the end, I only had whiplash and some bruises while my car was totalled but I was absolutely convinced that this was going to be the end. After the adrenaline wore of I broke down crying and felt incredibly relieved that I had decided to not take my dog with me. Something had stopped me from bringing her that day and I'm still so thankful for that."
Meenulara
fight or flight
"I died in a motorcycle accident and was revived, suffered a TBI and all kinds of other injuries. When I woke up I thought I was being kidnapped and went into fight or flight mode."
Awkward_Pianist3839
painful truths
"'This is going to hurt, I hope my son isn't the one that finds me.' I was checking on a newly born calf when the mom turned and charged me unexpectedly. I'm usually quick enough to step aside and dodge, but I stepped in a hole and fell instead. The cow ran right over the top of me, and stomped on my chest."
"That should have killed me on the spot, but I was in about 3 feet of fresh snow which gave me just enough margin to be severely bruised instead of crushed. I had to crawl back to our house on my hands and knees, where it hurt to move for several days."
ls1c-10
Don't Wait
"I got shot through the pelvis, nanometers from my femoral artery. Blood was still shooting out of me like a turbo-charged sprinkler. As I was laying in the back of the ambulance, looking at the grey 70W, thinking these are my last moments... all I could think about was all the things I wanted to do, and how I wouldn't be able to now."
"I saw all the faces of those I loved, and those I wish I got to see one last time. Do the things you only dream of. Tell everyone you love them, constantly. Don't spend your life waiting, it's up to you to take it."
Good_Will_Toking
Oh Damn...
"One word. 'Damn...' Then just blurry mental images of my immediate family for a few seconds before blacking out Really anticlimactic. There was surprisingly little emotion associated with the experience (over dose). When you abuse hard drugs for a while, you know death might be just around the corner so it's no surprise when it comes (or you think it does). It's not at all like a healthy person having a random stroke or something which would be terrifying."
SuspectFantastic7066
Ditched...
"Seeing a pickup towing landscaping equipment barreling down on me in my rear view. I was at a red light. My only thought was for my 1yr old in the backseat. And being pissed off at the idiot. Somehow he swerved at the last second and completely missed us by going into the ditch. He drove off like nothing happened."'
EstelSnape
4 Feet
"I was hiking in the mountains and slipped on a rock. I fell into a very quickly moving stream that turned into a 100ft drop off about 55 yards (50 meters) downstream from where I went in. I think my exact thoughts were HOLY F**K, HOLY F**K, HOLY F**K until the moment I was able to grab on to the side of the rock wall and climb out of the water. I was able to find a small ledge and then had to jump back over the stream to get to safety. The jump was not large but I was cold, wet and exhausted from climbing. Scariest 4ft leap ever!"
wannaplayaround
"well, here we go"
happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy"I was driving to work, when a Kia Soul in front of me slammed on its brakes. I slammed on mine, and barely miss god smacking this car. I then look into my rearview mirror, and see a semi truck barreling towards me at 40-50 mph. And I just tightened the grip on my steering wheel and thought 'well, here we go.'"
"Thankfully, the semi truck changed lanes, and missed me by a couple inches. Maybe I wouldn't have died if it hit me, but I sure felt like I was about to. All because some Kia Soul almost missed the turn for the McDonalds and slammed on its breaks."
TheJewFromTheMidwest
Under the Water
"I almost drowned in a white water rafting accident. It's very difficult to describe what I felt... there was a sensation of panic, but also one of surrealism. It didn't feel real, but... it did. I also remember being able to reach my hands out above the water and having an all encompassing yearning to be able to breathe."
"The combination of hypothermia (water temperature 35 degrees F/1 degree C for our friends who use a better system of measurement) and near drowning was a mind f**k."
Travalanche49
SWOOSH!
skiing GIF by NOWNESSGiphy"'OH DEAR LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SINNED SOUL!'"
"Almost had a terrible skiing accident."
Walvie9
Oh Crap!
"I feel off a small cliff once and my exact thoughts were OH CRAP, were's that damn bush you see in cartoons? Fortunately I landed on my feet and only twisted my ankle but if i had landed on my jest or head i would not have made it to a hospital."
ExistingExample281
Death is coming. Try to prepare.
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