It's amazing how quickly someone's life can change. If you mess up big enough, you might see your life flash before your eyes. You may not be dead, but your reputation sure is. This is why you need to keep your wits about you--you truly never know when everything can come crashing down.
Here are some of the most extreme examples of people ruining their lives in an instant. Try not to cringe too hard.
Some people like to f*ck around a little too much, leaving them with some serious, life-altering injuries.
The dangers of doing musical theatre.
I had a friend in university, a student of jazz vocalist, who had an incredibly bright future ahead of her. Mid-way into her first year / freshman year, she was out with some friends in a theatre on stage and for fun, they were swinging her or just fooling around.
I believe they somehow dropped her or lost grip. She hit her head hard. Got a bad concussion. Had to drop-out of school.
She now has chronic head pain, and is living back at home. She tried to return back to school, but could barely last through two classes, if even, before her pain would get too bad.
I've lost touch with her so I'm not entirely sure what she's doing now. But, my gosh, just her life entirely derailed because of that one silly accident.
EDIT: she was sitting on a stage and go pulled from her ankles by her friends which led to her head hitting the edge of the stage and hyperextending her neck.
Should have known better.Indie Film Falling GIF by Arrow Video Giphy
One of my high school classmates (a kicker on the football team) was at a party at a friend's house on the very last day of school in his senior year. The house was on a lake, and he decided to run off the end of the pier and jump head-first into the lake.
The water was a foot deep.
He never walked again.
Kid in his teens tried jumping off a Leading Light at high tide to impress his mates and girlfriend, hit a concrete wave breaker back first. Shattered part of his spine and is now in a permanent vegetive state.
This is heartbreaking.
Camping trip with friends when we were around 17 y/o. One kid hammered in his tent pegs, then just tossed the hammer at someone else's tent for no apparent reason. A girl was in the tent and caught full power of the hammer toss to her mouth. Shattered several teeth in her mouth, which she then choked on. She died choking on her own shattered teeth while alone and bleeding out of her face in a tent, with no idea of what caused her injury.
Campsite in the middle of nowhere. It took over an hour for help to come. Kid got arrested and got suspended sentence for involuntary manslaughter.
People can be really stupid sometimes. Like.....REALLY stupid.
People should know by now to not be dumb on Zoom.Nbc GIF by New Amsterdam Giphy
Un-muted zoom call. Trash talking a manager. HR posted a "thank you X for your years of service" email pretty much the next day.
This past fall, an attorney I know attended a Zoom meeting with video. You could see someone not entirely out of frame crawl under her desk and spend the duration of the meeting there. It was very obvious by her facial expressions and movements what was going on under the desk.
She lost her job, and from what I understand, the guy was not her husband, so her marriage may be lost as well.
This is called digging yourself into a hole.
A woman failed her drug test at a courthouse and I watched her run across a parking lot with 2 drug court employees on her heels. She hopped in someone's SUV and shoved the driver out of the vehicle.
The drug court employees stood in front of the SUV with their hands on the hood to stop her, and she revved the engine and then knocked them with the car before reversing and driving away over a sidewalk.
This was easily preventable.
Had a friend that thought he could jump over a bonfire, he almost made it but fell back into the fire, his arm going into the embers. Ended up with 3rd degree burns on over a fourth of his body. I think he's doing pretty okay now but that one dumb decision will affect the rest of his life.
It’s insane how quick everything can go wrong. Spoiler alert- it’s really freakin’ fast.
Yikessss.Mike D Bike GIF by Beastie Boys Giphy
Tweeted that they had hit a cyclist when driving to work. By the time she had got to work the company had sacked her for bringing the company into disrepute.
That’s just plain dumb.
Waiting outside a club one rainy night. Some young lady decided to take one of the cop cars out front for a spin after getting tossed out. She ended up crashing into one of those concrete barricade things blocking the side door.
There's a crazy NSFL video going around Twitter where two teen girls ruin their lives. They try to carjack an Uber driver and he holds onto the door and they speed off and end up flipping the car and killing him. It was in DC, they got charged with murder.
PLEASE don’t do this.
I knew a guy, he and his friends were into that trend of going to really high places and taking pictures of them hanging from them. The guy I knew got to the top of one of those massive crane things and while taking the picture he fell. He died upon impact with the ground and now whenever I see pictures like that on social media I want to cry and beg these people to stop before they lose their lives.
Circumstances just plain suck sometimes.
Oof.Monsters Inc Reaction GIF by filmeditor Giphy
A friend of mine in college was sitting for campus placements, it's a rigorous step process and companies come in day in and out to select candidates for their role. This guy sat through all the rounds of X company and cleared them as he went on. The last round of interviews went on till 5 in the morning and he'd been sitting since 9 in the morning trying to get a job. After all the hardwork he got placed in the company and got a great offer letter.
He was on cloud nine and the happiest guy out there, after a while the HR casually asked him his plans after he joined the company and he went on to say that the job is just temporary and he wanted work ex before he went for his masters the next year as he'd already gotten accepted from a university of his liking. The HR immediately tore the offer letter in front of him and told him that the offer has been retracted. He sat in the hallway crying for messing up in the last moment.
This is really sad.
A few days ago.
A 15 year old kid from my town stole his mom's car at 4 in the morning. Picks up 2 of his friends (they were boyfriend and girlfriend), and goes joyriding. Decides to go 90 down a road with no streetlights and that has many sharp curves.
Runs off the road, slams into a tree at full speed. Front seat passenger (15 m) thrown from the car and crushed underneath it. Pronounced dead at the scene. Back seat passenger (15 f) Thrown through the windshield. Alive at the scene, taken to the hospital and placed in a medically induced coma. Pronounced dead 3 days later.
The driver walked away with a few scratches. His life is over, he hasn't been sentenced yet, but last I heard he's going to be tried as an adult for 2 counts of vehicular manslaughter while under the influence (the kid was drunk). One stupid decision that night ruined 3 young lives.
One bad night is all it takes.
Guy from work went to strip club, got drunk af, and spent like 14k. Managed to get some strippers in his car, which ended up in them stealing it. His wife found out, which led to a fight that got physical. He went to jail, got divorced, lost his job and his kids because of one drunk night out with some coworkers.
At least she had a fallback job.Call Me By Your Name Dancing GIF by Vibe FM Giphy
Less than a year ago I was a manager at a retail store. We hired a new manager, and she was one of the coolest people I'd met - around my age (early 20s), a pilot, married with a stepdaughter and three dogs, and a pole dancer.
I asked her why she was working at our little old retail store. We sell lots of band merchandise, gifts, and general pop culture items, so she said she wanted the employee discount to use in the upcoming holidays. Fair enough, not the first new hire who said that to me. She was a good manager too, so no reason to suspect.
Well, she got arrested in the middle of her shift less than a month into the job. Turned out she'd been going into the register, reprinting 1-2 week old customer receipts, and using them to generate fraudulent returns so she could pocket the cash. This is incredibly stupid because when I trained her, I explained how LP monitors all the registers throughout the day and how we organize our papers to prepare for monthly audits. This very system is what got her caught.
The craziest part? She only stole around $2,000. She was charged with a felony and most definitely can't be a pilot anymore. I haven't heard from her since her arrest, but it's likely she's in jail. I don't know how she'll get another job when she's out, but good thing she's an exceptional pole dancer.
A deadly mistake.
Third grade a friend of mine was chewing on a rubber ball you can get out of the machine for 25 cents. It popped into the back of his mouth. Startled, he gasped, which pulled it down into his esophagus. He suffocated on that little rubber ball. His mother was a substitute teacher at the school. The year he would have graduated, his parents did a full page memorial in our yearbook.
Stop doing dumb sh*t, people! Most of these things would've been easily preventable. It's so easy to get yourself hurt.
Be safe, friends. And think before you steal a cop car
Back in sixth grade, I was trying to impress my friends. Actually, they weren't my friends but classmates whom I wanted to like me.
We've all been there.
So I tried to make them laugh by performing a little stunt where I pretended to walk into the classroom with a door that had been shut.
I kicked the door and meant to mimic my face bouncing off from the impact. Excpet my estimation between the door and my face was way off.
Basically, I knocked two of my front teeth, causing them to dangle from my gums and swing like western saloon doors. I got the laugh I wanted, I guess.
Curious to hear something more dramatic from strangers on the internet, Redditor _elliot_frost_ asked:
Usually, whenever someone says, "I've got this," they don't.
"Drilled half an inch into my arm because I thought .... and I quote 'I got this, ain't no way its gonna slip.'"
Wasn't A One-Man-Job
"Tried to move one of those old, massive tv sets by myself and dropped it on my foot. Shattered all my toe bones and broke a few in my foot. Super stupid."
"My little brother and I were helping my mom move. There was some furniture that was easier to unload from the bedroom balcony then carry down the thin stairs with a turn, so my brother passed those to me while on the balcony and I on the ground. Once finished he decided to jump from the balcony rather than take the stairs because...I have no idea. He broke his foot on the concrete path under the balcony."
You know what they say: "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."
Getting A Mouthfull
"I cant really remember if I was actually legitamtely injured, but i remember my mom taking me to the hospital. When i was like 7 years old, my parents bought my brothers and I some toy lightsabers. They were the types that lit up when you pressed a button and could be extended a bit. It was summer and my mother took us to her sister's bbq where we played outside with our cousins and the adults could all go and chat together. My oldest brother and I took our lightsabers so we could show everyone and fight with them. Our parents had wanted to see us so they kept glancing back every few minutes to check that nobody got hurt. My older brother and I started to duel with our lightsabers, and then it got interesting. We both backed away and charged at eachother, ready to stab the other with our toy saber. For some weird f'king reason, I opened my mouth and let out a sort of battle cry. Then my brother's lightsaber went in my mouth and a little bit into my throat (I assume accidently.) My mom was mortified and rushed me to the hospital because she said she didnt want to take any chances. And that is the story of how I accidently deepthroated a lightsaber."
Sticking That Landing
"Steak knife through the ankle, while
backflipping onto a couch."
"I was 14, or so. Aristocrats was on at the Everybody Wants to Be a Cat bit. It was my jam, so I was dancing. Halfway through the song, I flipped on the couch. I had forgotten about a steak knife I had left from lunch. Shock set in and I started screaming. Mom came in, and had to drive me to the ER."
Reminder To Tie Your Shoelaces
"When I was a kid I broke my arm in three places while playing hide & seek. I was running to the home base while being chased by my friend. I was looking back & full-on sprinting foward. I tripped on my shoelaces & landed on my arm with my wrist on the asphalt & my elbow on my chest."
When The Ball Dropped
"I was riding my bike, then I suddenly hit something and I'm launched forward and fall down, I was bleeding a bit but it was ok."
"10 minutes later I noticed that my right testicle skin was sliced and it was bleeding, had to go to the hospital."
During A Task
These Redditors wound up hurting themselves while trying to achieve a goal.
Spoiler alert: they did not reach their intended goals, straightaway.
When Bracing Failed
"Was squatting down to grab something at work, stepped on an air hose which made my foot slip, and I fell a total of maybe five inches. I put my arm out to catch myself, ended up tearing my shoulder, and I strained a muscle in my lower back."
"I fell about as hard as the Life Alert grandma from the commercial, and was put out of the gym for 6 months."
Reach For Protection
"Jumped out of bed to grab a condom, my toe got stuck and snapped, I broke the toe and ligaments in my foot got damaged. I started walking crooked to compensate Even though my lower back started hurting. and that went on while i fell pregnant a month later. Continued to walk crooked whilst carrying a baby and now 7 years later my lower back right above the tailbone still hurts one 1 side."
No, injuries are not fun, but we all have at one point put ourselves in harm's way for very foolish reasons.
Clearly some of the injuries mentioned above were far more serious than the "injury" I suffered as a result of my grade school shenanigans.
The upside to all of this is, we get to live long enough after the fact to talk about it.
We're not dumb. We is survivors!
Sometimes you just gotta laugh. Laughter is truly the best medicine. A laugh can save you in the darkest of times. Hell I've been a bawling hysteric through 2020 and I'm still here. Ah... the power of a needed chuckle. Some people laugh at moments that may seem uncouth to others, like at deaths and the delivery of bad news but that is often a defense mechanism because it is all too much to bear. Then it gets out of control and you swing back to crying. Laughing is emotional therapy, enjoy it.Redditor u/marker_speaks wanted to know who else has had those moments when the laugh just has to be heard no matter the moment by asking.... What's that "can't stop laughing" moment where you're in a situation you shouldn't be laughing?
When one must toot....Baby Fart GIFGiphy
My father's funeral... my daughter was 3 months old and have a lot of belly pain... she farted so loudly that the priest needed to stop talking for us to stop laughing...
He even told us that the church was a serious place, and if we couldn't behave to get out.. I told him the deceased was my father, and I couldn't control my daughter's farts.
Into the Casket
My mother and father went to a funeral of one of mother's aunts that she was not close too, in fact my father had never met her. As they stood at the open casket my father said to my mother " she just doesn't look like herself" again my father had never seen the aunt before. For whatever reason this struck my mother as very funny and she started laughing, she held her hands to her face and ran from the casket. Her sisters saw this and thought she distraught and followed her out to console her. Where my mother had to explain that she was laughing and not crying and why. She was so pissed at my father it was hilarious.
Visiting my Grandmothers grave with my grandfather for the first time a few years ago. Expected tears and a solemn day. Instead we passed a grave marked "Wanda" and my grandfather said "Well I wanda what killed her?" none of us could stop laughing, my grandmother would have loved it.
God is Warmthjesus deal with it GIFGiphy
At a funeral, the pastor kept referring to God as "The Great Comforter" and all I could think of was a tacky bedspread glowing with holy light. Every time he said it my giggles got worse to the point I had to pretend I was crying really hard and left to hide in the bathroom.
When I was in my early twenties my great aunt, who we weren't close with, passed away. At the wake, my mom and I went up to pay our respects and I said "I haven't seen Aunt Dot in thirty years" which made my mom start laughing which in turn made me start laughing uncontrollably. Thankfully it was a packed funeral parlor and no one seemed to notice.
The Kebab Stand
In High school there was three religion courses you could pick: catholic, evangelic (edit: I'm told it's protestant in English) or neutral. You would have different topics in class and different destinations on the yearly trip. I picked catholic and on the yearly trip we went to a monastery. On the third day one of the exercises was to talk about death, so there's 20 kids in a circle of chairs and everyone's crying because everyone lost a loved one at some point and death is a hard topic.
The teacher starts talking about how she imagines death to be like and begins to tell: "I imagine after dying there to be a long long spiral staircase. And you go down and down until there's a door and behind that door..." The rest I didn't hear because my friend next to me whispers: "A damn kebab-stand" We both sat there giggling for like 20 more minutes until the meeting was over. To this day I feel really bad.
Let me clear my throat....
I had this really nice but really awkward physics teacher in high school. He was a large nerdy man but spoke with a lisp and a very soft voice. Imagine the guy from office space asking for his stapler, that's how he sounded. One day he is giving his lesson and mid sentence he goes from this voice to what sounded like satan himself. "Ok class please (deep hell voice) TAKE OUT YOUR BOOKS, cough cough erm... excuse me must have something in my throat."
Then continued like nothing happened. I could not, for the life of me stop freaking laughing and I was the only freaking one. It was the most bizarre and freaking hilarious thing I had ever seen. I had to walk out of the class to catch my composure. This was at least 15 years ago now and I'll never forget it.
Relish?happy dance GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
Not me, but my friend. She was getting fired from her job, and all she could think about was "What'll it be fellas? Mustard, or ketchup?" from the Spongebob Squarepants movie.
In school we did a course on mythology and had a project where we had to write our own mythological stories for the creation of creatures/places/etc.
One kid wrote a story about how a man was abusing his horse, so the Gods cursed him. One day his horse threw him onto spear which went through the back of his head and out of his forehead, and he transformed into the first unicorn.
I couldn't freaking stop laughing for a solid 5 minutes. The teacher berated me for laughing at violence but the kid and I both thought that was funny as hell.
Peace OutFuneral GIF by memecandyGiphy
My Grandad had "If you don't know me by now" played as the curtains closed at his funeral.
Shouldn't have laughed. Couldn't help it. Legend.
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Narrowly escaping death after being at the wrong place and time is something nobody takes for granted.
I still shudder when thinking about the time I drove home after rehearsing for a show in Los Angeles.
It was 9 p.m., and I was exhausted. My focus was not as keen as it should have been while driving on a busy street.
However, it's a good thing I had quick reflexes when I saw an 18 wheeler on the opposite side of the road swerving onto the wrong side of traffic and hurtling towards me at roughly 50 m.p.h.
With the brights blinding me, I made a sharp right, not knowing if I might hit parked cars along the street. In that instant, the semi clipped the back left of my vehicle and I did a 180.
The driver – clearly under the influence – kept going and doing who knows what else.
I walked away with my life and no injuries.
I continue to count my blessings.
Wanting to hear about scary life situations, Redditor LegitimateShift8 asked:
"A few years ago I had pneumonia, but my whole family insisted that it was just post nasal drip, (Which runs in the family) after a week or two I woke up in the middle of the night when I couldn't feel my arm. After I got to the ER the doctor said that it was the worst he'd ever seen and he was surprised I wasn't dead."
"I had 3 lbs of mucus cut out of my lungs and another two weeks in the hospital siphoning out the rest."
"For three months afterwards I could barely walk half a mile without starting to pass out and I still can't run for more than 200-300 yards without collapsing."
"Many years ago, my flight had just landed at Chicago O'hare and the plane was taxiing when the pilot suddenly slammed on the brakes. People were literally thrown forward against the seat in front of them. A few seconds later, another plane (taking off I think) went screaming by right in front of us."
"Around 30,000 pounds."
"I was driving with my wife in town one snowy evening and we had pulled up to a stop light. I happened to glance up at the rear view mirror and saw a city bus heading towards us... and rotating sideways. I hit the gas and pulled ahead into the intersection and left into the turning lane, and less than a second later, the bus went sliding through right where our car was. It came to a stop on the other side of the intersection and fortunately didn't hit anything, but one second or two feet difference and we would've had some nice spinal injuries."
Was It Purgatory?
"As a kid, after running errands in town with my mom, I was climbing into the backseat of our family station wagon. A semi-truck hit a power line pole down the street causing the still-live wire to fall, bounce off the roof of the car and hang across the open door just a foot or two above my legs."
"Raised catholic, I wondered for a while after if I had actually died that day and that the rest of what I thought was my life was my purgatory."
Keeping The Job
"Not changing jobs in early 2020. Would have been a short lived promotion after early restructuring and layoffs."
"A friend had lost his job under suspicious circumstances. A few weeks later he asked me to take him to the bank, as I got near to pick him up I caught a train. He called to say never mind he would get someone else."
"A few days later a friend sent out a message to a large number of our friends, this guy lost his job and was running a check cashing con - Can you cash this check for me? I'll pay you $50 if you do. The check is $500, he has no backing funds, you eat the whole amount. He did this to several friends in a few day to amass a few grand and was about to skip town when the cops got him."
Don't Bypass Safety Lockouts
"Not me, but I had a field service engineer working on one of my big robotic liquid handlers. He decided to bypass the safety pin that prevents the heads from moving while the cover is open while he had a diagnostic program queued up on the computer. What he didn't know was that the instant he reinserted the safety pin the machine would execute the queued instructions and start moving, and he had a hand inside it right in the danger zone."
"I grabbed his shoulder and yanked his hand out an instant before it was crushed. He stopped ignoring me when I told him to stop bypassing safety lockouts to save a few minutes."
"after i had a stroke, i was in a coma and it didn't look like i'd wake up. the drs asked my wife if they should let me go. i only exist because she said no. i didn't dodge a bullet so much as my wife blocked it for me."
"Was going to move to a different apartment complex last month...got injured at work and lost hours; therefore, couldn't come up with the deposit money in time. Last week some a**hat was cooking meth and caught the building on fire."
My current apartment complex is notorious in my city for having elevator troubles, so in reality, username DOES check out! Also, you could say I dodged 2 bullets...1, the fire. 2, I know 'bad stuff happens everywhere blah blah blah' but the new place really didn't strike me as the kind of place where methheads live. So I guess avoiding those kind of people for neighbors was dodging a bullet in itself!"
"My newborn needed to be rushed to a super high level NICU to be put into a state of induced hypothermia, because he only had hours before he would suffer permanent brain damage. I live in a small town in the middle of no where."
"The small town next door just barely upgraded their hospital to have that hypothermia suite, one of only a few in Texas."
"He's doing great, no sign of any damage."
Thank You For Being A Friend
"I stayed up all night before a daytrip to Hong Kong. You know that daze when you haven't slept, you're just kinda robotic and doing the human stuff, nearly zero awareness of anything?"
"Well, I went to cross a street and my friend behind me SNATCHED my shoulder and yanked me backwards just in time to feel the WHOOSH of a doubledecker bus breezing past us. I just looked at him like 'oh, thanks man' and it took a whole extra minute for my brain to process I would be f'ken ded had he not grabbed me."
Involuntary Early Riser
"Freshman year of college I had a calc class. It was material I had learned before, but for various reasons they didn't give me transfer credit. So I skipped class quite frequently."
"Though I usually slept in, one morning I find myself awake at 8:30 and not really feeling like sleep. Might as well check in on the class and see what's going on."
"It was the midterm exam."
Alarm Setting Mistake
"Junior year of college I was planning to get up at 6:30am for an 8am economics final. I wanted to give myself enough time to come to, get a decent breakfast and do some last minute reviewing."
"Instead of my alarm clock, an ambulance siren instead ends up waking me up. I look at my clock, 6:35 am. I had done the classic 'set the alarm for PM instead of AM'. Even through I had a buffer of 90 minutes, I would have most certainly overslept as that whole semester the earliest I had a course normally was 10am."
"Getting chased by someone with a knife across my apartment. I closed my door at the right moment so that person ended up stabbing my wooden door instead. The mark was there until I left the apartment a few years later as a constant reminder of what could have been."
A Smooth Criminal
"When I was in middle school I wanted to buy a fedora, but none could fit my head."
"At 17 y/o I met and married a sweet little North Carolina daddy's girl."
"had I not I would have still been hanging with my friends that just discovered heroin."
"of the 3 friends, 2 are dead and one did 10 years in prison."
We all did some stupid things when we were kids.
Sometimes, the ridiculous, uncalled for behavior was on purpose in the moment, but immediately regretted.
Other times, the horrifying deed occurred before we knew it. Once it happened, we were left to merely look at the rubble, powerless and ashamed.
However it went down, it sucked, and we will never forget it ever.
Some Redditors gathered to share the most messed up thing they've ever done.
A warning: lots of bathroom humor coming.
vaish34rana asked, "What's the most f***ed up thing that you have ever done?"
"I worked at a super shady telemarketing company right after high school. They made people think they were a charity but they weren't. They sold stuff supposedly assembled by handicapped people and I talked in a voice that led people to believe I was mentally handicapped so they would feel bad and buy from me."
"I've never hated myself more and I deserved to have my a** kicked."
Almost Got Away With It
"Silk underwear was a thing way back. I shat myself once while on a sled with my brother. I somehow managed to unzip and bury it while crying in anger and frustration."
"Mom found it while walking the dog. I cried again."
"I stole some Mother Theresa cards from our church and convinced my little cousin to go with me door to door selling them saying we were trying to raise money for the less fortunate. We then used that money to go buy snacks at 7-11."
"I was 12 and to this day I randomly wake up wondering wtf was I thinking. Doesn't sound like it's the most f***ed up thing ever but it did stick with me."
Pooping in Isolation
"I shat in the school's toilet , there's was no paper , so I wobbled to the sink to clean up , nobody came in , I was a lucky guy" -- ElegantChampionship0
"That's nothing. When I was a kid, I ate beads at a weekend day camp. The next morning at school, I decided to sh** in the urinal because the stalls were busy. Nobody ever knew who made the poo necklace but me." -- Lasermushrooms
"When I was a kid a friend of mine came over for pizza and left. I was upset that he didn't stay to hang out. Heard something at my window and it was him getting my attention asking if he could have the leftover marinara sauce."
"I said sure, slightly opened the little marinara container and tossed it to him. He had on a brand new Tommy Hilfiger winter jacket."
"My first year of college, there was a really annoying guy in my class. He was a total douche. One day he left class and my buddy and I saw that he left his book on the desk. We took it. Sold it to the bookstore and got burgers with the money."
"I helped him look for his lost book the next day for an hour."
A Severe Approach to Prank Calling
"A long time ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and you could make prank phone calls, my friends and I called a random number. A woman answered and in a small child's voice I asked her if she knew where my parents were."
"I must have gone on for at least 5 minutes, asking for my parents, got all upset, the whole 9 yards. At the end I said I had to go and hung up on her."
"To this day that poor woman has no idea what happened to that little girl."
"My friend and I played poo dollar one Saturday evening on campus in college. Now the traditional way of playing poo dollar is to simply put a piece of poo, and smush it into a crumbled up dollar bill, and when someone finds it in excitement, they get poo on their hands. It's evil already by itself."
"However, a 3rd wanted to join in on the fun, and he's a huge Star Wars fan. He had a huge wad of fake $10 dollar bills with Jar Jar Binks' face on it. He won them as a kid at Chuck E Cheese. He said each bill was 5 tickets each, and bought a wad with the 100 tickets he won."
"He told himself as a kid that these would come in handy one day. Now mind you, these looked IDENTICAL to a $10 bill, except substitute good ol' Alex Hamilton for Jar Jar f***ing Binks."
"So this means that people would pick up this seemingly fake $10 bill in excitement, find poo on their hands, but find consolation in that it's still a $10 bill. But nope, we even took the consolation away. It was a fake Jar Jar Binks $10 bill AND you have poo on your hands."
Zero Childhood Chill
"I was 3 or 4 years old. Went to amusement park with family. Got into ball pit. Having a good time. Then, in the ball pit with me, I notice there's a kid with some kind of disability or illness, completely bald, with tubes coming out of his nose."
"I screamed, cried, and called him a monster and pointed until my parents came and got me out of the ball pit. I probably ruined some make a wish kid's whole day."
Not Ready for Caregiving
"When I was a kid I brought a caterpillar to show and tell and I kept forgetting to bring it leaves to eat so I accidentally f***ing starved it to death and I still deal with the guilt." -- jesseepeterson
"You have felt the guilt long enough. You are forgiven. Let this random internet stranger release you from this bond." -- Crowmega
"I kept a caterpillar in a little terrarium at home and it eventually turned into a cocoon. I ripped it off the tree and put it in a ziplock bag and brought it to school for show and tall. It fell off my desk at some point and a girl named Alyssa stepped on it. I still feel so guilty. It was over 20 years ago." -- suchafart
"Had one of those homemade stress balls with flour at a friend's house and I squeezed it way too hard and it burst everywhere so I just dipped and he got grounded for a week and made to clean up the mess" -- olliemills9
Keys to the Castle
"During middle school I hustled a little bit, you know buy cigarettes for a dollar and sell them for 2 etc. (Anyways the school had these rooms that you needed a key fob to open) A teacher walked by and dropped her fob so I figured I could sell it, I sold it to some random guy on the street for 60 bucks."
"(For a kid from a poor background who hustled for something to eat it was loads) I found out about a week later that the school was robbed, all the computers, books, basically anything of value. We found out that they got in from the staff entrance at the back, which needed... a fob."
"Still feel guilty about it too this day, it was a public school with little to no funding in a poor area."
"We had a marathon race the entire school. I was in second place most od the race and the guy in front of me would have won no doubt. Instead I told him it would be a good idea of we both ran across the finish line together. He agreed."
"Only for me ton run ahead just a few meters before the finish line. I won but in the most shi**y way ever. It was a good lesson though, if I cant win properly, I'd much rather come second."
Waaaay Too Much Evidence
"In kindergarten whenever I ran out of toilet paper in the stalls I would start wiping my ass with my finger and smearing the shit on the walls. I also would barely wash my hands."
"I got found out and was scolded by my teacher, the janitors, and the principal. My parents however still don't know."
"When I was young, maybe 4th grade, I was at a sleep over with a group of friends at my friend B's house. We were messaging another girl from our class, A and I said it would be funny if we told A that we had heard that B had been in a car accident and would never walk again."
"We played up the story, said B was currently in the hospital, doctors said the prognosis was bad, she might die...A was freaking out, B thought it was funny, I kept adding more graphic detail, thought it was hilarious."
"Until A called B's mom, who marched up stairs and told us off for being little sh**s. Which we were! I still feel horrible about it, little girls can cruel little idiots."
A Spectacular Failure
"I was 18 and still didn't have my license. I honestly didn't even know how to drive yet regardless. That didn't stop me from sneaking my girlfriend out of her house to get wasted at a motel party."
"When she needed to get home, I borrowed my friend's car to make the 4 mile round trip to her house. The whole time, I drove with the parking brake on and f***ed up her car. Then when I came back to the motel, I hit two parked cars HARD in the parking lot while several people saw as I tried to park."
"No one said shit to me though. It was in a seedy part of town so everyone just minded their own business. It's been 15 years and I still think about that. Don't drink and drive kids."
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