Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
Redditor odeus120 wanted to hear about the signs that make us see how some people should be raising their kids better.
"What screams trashy parents?"
Having waited tables, it's all a red flag. The list is too ling.
Oh Mother
Mean Girls Movie GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Mothers who see their daughter as competition."
Salt-Direction4885
"I see you've met my mom."
MYHAUNTEDPOCKET
On the Socials
"Social media influencers whose entire content is their children. People who publicly punish their kids online, parents who give out way too many details about their children giving them lack of privacy. Child exploitation at its finest."
Rooster-Wild
"There’s a lady on TikTok who posts constant videos of her daughter naked in the bath. Someone else called her out on it and how it’s only harming her daughter so what does she do? Turn off all comments so people will stop harassing her about taking down those videos. And keeps on posting for the pedos."
yorkiewho
The Trashers
"Kids running around a store trashing the place and not a parent in sight."
makeski25
"Many years ago when I worked at WalMart, parents would routinely 'drop off' their kids in the toy department and then just walk through the store, or, worse, go across the street to eat out or shop. So it wasn't unusual to see numerous unsupervised kids just wrecking the toy and sporting goods department."
"I once fussed at a manager to do something about a pair of kids who had put together a bunch of pool noodles and were running down aisle after aisle, just clearing the shelves and knocking stuff to the floor. Manager pulls the kids aside, parents show up, yell at the kids, and the manager comes to me and goes: 'well, I hope you feel better, you made me ruin that kid's night.'"
Blametheorangejuice
It's just a game...
"Cussing out the officials at a little league game. Telling your child to punch another player they tripped over."
SnooChipmunks126
"I coached t-ball, the kids were pre-k to 2nd grade. I had a mother inches from my face screaming at me because I asked her child to sit down for an inning... Because he was hitting kids in the head (with a helmet on) with a bat. It was one of the wildest things I had happen to me. Not the last though."
BitofaCrochetHooker
Any Pepsi?
Baby Drinking GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"When I waited tables in college, I saw a mother fill her young toddler’s bottle with Coca-cola. I thought it was just horrible."
lobsters_love_butter
This is a mess. At least it wasn't a Jack and coke.
Blame
Yup Thats Right GIF by Katelyn TarverGiphy"When their kids could literally set the world on fire and they'll blame anyone else to avoid responsibility."
Difficult_Shine3675
"My sister in law does this. Her kid could set someone on fire and she'd go 'well it's not HIS fault she has on such flammable clothes!'"
HavingALittleFit
Destruction
"Kids destroying other people's stuff/property and the parents are just standing there and laughing like it's a form of amusement. Once went into an older movie store and there was a child bashing the glass with his ball and throwing the movies all over the floors. The mother (presumedly) let her child continue to do that despite others' protests including the manager's. I don't fault the child, doesn't know any better. The mother should've been asked to leave the store with her son."
InfiniteWords117
Stop Yelling
"There is a kid (maybe 8-10 years old) on the other side of my street right now yelling slurs and telling everyone who walks by to go f**k themselves while their parent sits on the porch smoking weed and laughing. This is a regular occurrence. I'm fairly certain the kid has a mental disorder but the fact that the parent seems to be encouraging the behavior is pretty trashy."
SternCoats
The Stench
"Kids that smell like smoke because their parents smoke indoors. It was my parents. Everybody hated when we came over because everything we'd touch would smell like cigarettes as well. Couldn't convince my parents to smoke outside of the home because 'it's their house and they'll do as they please.'"
bumblingbirdy
Control
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"Parents emotionally blackmailing their kids. Using guilt and obligation to control their children."
SuvenPan
We know that raising a family is hard, but these folks need to do better for their kids.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor GemJoltik34 wanted to spread the word on the ways we can recognize toxic parenting.
"What is a sign of toxic parenting?"
I know I wasn't built for parenting. That's ok. It's just not for me.
Know it All
Knowing Cedric The Entertainer GIF by CBSGiphy"Always believing they're right because they're the adult and therefore not letting the child have any say."
rhi_x
Not Bad
"If you feel like you can't be open and honest with them, even over things that are not bad."
keiome
"I can’t remember the last time I was deeply honest about my feelings or things I was struggling with. Somehow they always either 1. find a way to use it against me or 2. they find a way to blame it on things that are unrelated when in the end, it’s usually their crappy way of parenting."
"This is mainly about my mom. But in my dads case, he is emotionally cut off. He doesn’t express himself like ever. My mom is the complete opposite."
tequila-la
Standards
"Being unable to apologize, setting and enforcing standards they themselves don't follow."
19whale96
"When I tell my parents about something I feel like they should apologize my dad listens to me, if he disagrees with what I said he tells me why and if he thinks that my reasoning is correct he says 'you're right, I'm sorry,' my mom yells at me, cries, 'you're talking back, I would've never done that to my mother.' Guess who I have a better relationship with."
Confident-Thanks-143
Feelings
"When they constantly invalidate your feelings."
Hot_Comfortable_6373
"This one in a huge way… my feelings were never validated. Every time I cried it was 'stop the crocodile tears, you’re just looking for attention.' Every time I was mad 'you don’t have real reasons to be upset.' Hell, even when I was physically hurt it’d usually be something like 'rub some dirt on it.'"
Garden_Circus
Lessons
frank costanza seinfeld GIF by HULUGiphy"Never actually teaching your kids anything, just criticizing, 'I told you so' and 'because I said so.'"
eveningspliff
"This was my life just about every day until I moved out. My parents expected me to know things and got pissed when I did something wrong."
playingitloud
People should be required to take parenting classes. Seriously...
Mental Space
Doctor Help GIF by Apple TV+Giphy"Parents not understanding kids have bad days too. They may not have a bad day like an adult would, but to their little minds they can get just as overwhelmed as we can mentally."
minimomma1989
Learning Bad
"Not being allowed to make mistakes and constantly being shouted at for them."
sami2503
"My significant other has legit PTSD from not meeting his parents standards and being yelled at and screamed for it. Apparently if he didn't clean to their standards they would trash the room and make him start all over again instead of just getting the parts he missed."
YoHeadAsplode
I Feel It
"Treating kids like they aren't supposed to have emotions."
Bee0099
"Damn... felt this one. My mom was this way and reacted with anger anytime I tried to talk to her about my feelings, whether it be something she did to me that traumatized me or just something that upset me during the day."
"Then had an ex who did the exact same thing (not relevant to parenting but yeah). So the treatment I received from my mom and ex made me put up a wall around my emotions. Completely ruined my recent marriage. Just hope my son always knows he can talk about his feelings around me."
leebron-jahamez69
Expectations
"The 'I guess I’m just a bad parent' line."
HoneyOaksTree
"Or 'Well, I wasn't perfect,' or 'I don't think I ever claimed to be perfect,' or 'I know I was not a perfect parent,' always with the implication that the only reason their offspring have a problem with them is due to their expectations of perfection, and therefore, the problem is with the child and their unrealistic expectations."
LeisurelyLoner
Just say it!
Sorry Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"Never apologizing. Own up to your mistakes!"
bellum1
"Seriously. Like my mom will give a somewhat apology, it'll be along the lines of 'I was in the right, but maybe I shouldn't have blown up and overreacted like I did.' Like sometimes she's right with that but other times she's just trying to only take partial blame."
berrys_a_ghost
Grownish
"Refusing to let them grow up. My Mom did this with me and I see it in kids I babysit. It’s one thing to enjoy the occasional sick cuddles. It’s another thing to keep them in diapers because you don’t want your baby to grow up."
Paciem
"My parent still asks 'Do you need to go potty?' In freaking public and I graduated high school and sometimes people I know are around and I'm even more afraid of leaving the house now."
Z3e24c123
"Trying to restrict my drivers license, not allowing me a job, and trying to limit my money intake so I won’t have enough money to move out. I always have the military as a back up option but man I don’t want to have to choose between living with my mother and potential death."
EmptySeesaw
Okay... So?
"Parents who press their personal beliefs and practices upon their children. Maybe your daughter doesn't want to wear dresses all the time. So what? Maybe your son doesn't want to be the doctor that you weren't able to be. Okay... So? For example, my parents are very religious and everything would be about religion and honoring God."
"Yet, the ironic thing is, that my parents are extremely abusive- physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally. Don't force beliefs upon your children. Widen their perspective. Show them what's out there. And let them make their own decisions. Don't yell at them or hurt them if they're not doing it your way."
tessa_simone
Bad Instructors
"Telling your child to do something, then getting mad when they do it wrong. One time my mom made me fold her laundry, then got mad at me because one her shirts was inside out. I think about that every time I fold clothes now."
Nickynui
"How my dad 'taught' how to pile firewood. Told me to pile firewood, after me saying I'm done, looked at the pile, yelled at me, destroyed the pile, THEN showed me how to pile the firewood. Now when anyone asks me to do something I try to get as explicit instructions as possible."
Siukslinis_acc
Shut up Dad...
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"Crap my dad has said to me growing up were definitely red flag toxicity. Crap like 'Your grandpa embarrassed me in public growing up, now it’s my turn!' and 'I think your friend is gay, he better not make you gay!'"
TrinixDMorrison
Comparisons...
"Comparing your kid to someone else’s or vice versa."
TheStrangestAverage
"My parents did that, but what made it worse is that I'm neurodivertent and I was being compared to the academically gifted kids. It's an unbelievably unfair comparison to make because I will never be like them, I know I'm smart in different ways but mom wanted a kid with straight A+'s; basically someone she didn't have to put too much effort into helping them learn.
"Like I get it mom, your upset cuz I'm much different than you expected; throwing it my face and making me feel bad I couldn't learn like the other kids is so shi**y."
pixie13903
Control
"Authoritarian need for control over their children. Belittling and nasty psychological warfare that gets personal for no reason. 'I'm your parent not your friend' mentality."
xXxmisschiefxXx
"Yeah my mom wanted me to drink some tea she thought would help with a cough when I didn't want to because it was nasty. Now at this time I was like 7-8 and she was heavy on that mentality of... I'm not your friend."
"She thought well we live in the middle of nowhere, why not take him out side with a hammer and threaten to break his fingers one by one that's not traumatizing at all then she just forced it down my throat. And told me it was for the best it was terrible like I don't even know what was going through her mind."
Outside_Budget_9104
One Sided Looks
"Victim blaming, only seeing the wrong things and ignoring the accomplishments and good and such."
water_hat19
"This is true my mom yells at us when we can't read her mind and guess what she wants tells us she will always support us. Then I went to state for science Olympiad and took 4th in forestry and 6th in rocks and minerals 7th in ornithology and 14th in bridges. And all she did was complain about how I didn't call her during the award ceremony. When they asked us to mute our phones she also complained about giving me a ride."
Outside_Budget_9104
Choices
Giphy"Telling you to take responsibility without giving you freedom. Responsibility is only possible if you have the freedom to make the wrong choice but choose to make the right one."
TheMetaReport
Some parents cause far more damage than happiness. And we have proof... It's not a decision to be taken lightly.
Curious to hear what others experienced in an attempt to identify the abuse Redditor TheBeardedAntt asked:
"What’s a form of mental abuse that no one really talks about?"
Constantly not getting validated eventually chips away at your confidence.
Dismissed
"When someone consistently undermines your interests and goals and mocks you for them."
– sisan9179
Undermined
"Constantly undermining someone or second guessing someone. My brother does this on a regular basis about big, small or totally irrelevant stuff. At first I didn't think much of it but after a long time it started to make me not be able to make decisions properly because I was always told my decisions were wrong. It took a lot of time to come to the conclusion that even if my decisions are wrong, they're MY decisions and I'm learning from my own mistakes."
– gacaji396
Slow Torture
"Death by a thousand paper cuts."
"When you finally crack, as you should since you are literally being tortured, they paint you as the crazy one. They also cut you in private, until they know you are at your breaking point, then do something seemingly innocuous in public to cause you to explode."
"Some people are really good at it. My mother was very good at it, much to my mother-in-laws chagrin. My MIL is an idiot compared to my mother, so her attempts just look stupid and amateurish to me."
– Canopyflyer
Piling On The Guilt
"Definitely guilt tripping. Both of my exes used to take everything I did 'wrong' as a personal attack and used it to try to make me feel guilty. I want to see my best friend instead of them today? Oh, you must not love me. I didn’t get the right order from Starbucks? You must not care enough to remember the right order. Even worse is when I’m mad at something they did and they use me being mad to guilt trip me, leading to me having to apologize for something they did!"
"I see it all the time and nobody calls people out for doing this, but it really infuriates me."
– TheMagnificentBean
Not all adults are fit for parenting.
Ignored
"Neglect. People always talk about abuse. But neglect, as humorous as it may sound gets neglected. When I was a teenager I would regularly go missing for days. I'd purposely dip out and go to friends houses with a packed bag and tell their parents my mom said it was ok for me to stay for a week."
"My friends parents must've understood no one cared about me at home and would oblige me and let me stay. I'd return home after a few days and see if anyone knew I was gone. After asking if they knew I wasn't home I'd always get a "No, you were out? Oh well that's nice." Once I left for 10 days. I snuck back in that time thinking they have to know I wasn't home and I would be in trouble. I came in through the back door and could clearly hear my mom and stepdad watching TV and enjoying themselves. I break it to them that I wasn't home for 10 days after questioning them in regards of whether they noticed I was gone. They tell me "We thought you were in your room." I was 16 at the time."
– BuildingRelevant7400
Not Fine
"Yeah, you are correct, it f'ks with your head pretty bad. Once as a teenager I stayed up all night with stomach ache and spent the morning puking, after brown ooze came up I figured f'k this I want to go to the hospital, so I tell my mother and she just brushes it off 'you are fine'."
"I call my friend and his mother takes me to the hospital and I have my appendix removed. Anyhow, I already distrusted my mother but after this I knew to never count on her. It was not a question of means, we have free healthcare, middle class etc."
– blissone
Abandoned
"Same. My parents once left me alone at 11 for 2 weeks to go on vacation. Never checked up on me and I skipped school the entire time. Finally found out a year later and when they asked how I just said 'no one ever asked.' They gave me rules like I 5 minutes to talk to them after school because I was 'annoying.' I couldn’t see for years because they’d forget that I needed glasses."
"It lead me to develop selective-mutism and I spent most of my childhood on my own and disappearing for long periods of time. If I had an issue I learned to either deal with it myself or be silent about it. Many relatives and friends parents along the way that would 'adopt' me and would basically teach me how to be a functioning person. I grew up too fast yet also lacked basic social skills:knowledge (at one point I was tested for autism because of it). I opened up more later on but I still have those habits that creep in once in a while."
– dylandbloom
"Fear-Based Parenting"
"Any kind of fear based parenting."
"I remember how you made me feel when I was small and vulnerable. I was afraid. No you didn’t hit me that hard, but that’s by adult standards. To me you were a giant 3 times my size."
"If a child is afraid of you they won’t trust you. Ever."
– burn-babies-burn
Ticking Off Boxes
"Being brought up by parents who think that if you’re fed, watered & clothed that’s their responsibilities completed."
– Vyvyansmum
Too Controlling
"Not allowing children to make choices."
"I was raised by parents who dictated most decisions. Making good choices is a necessary skill. I think children raised this way do not develop a sense of autonomy. I have a terrible time making decisions, and I don't care about many things like color choices, food, recreation, and more important life choices like partners and occupations. It is harder to find pleasure in life when choices are based on what you dislike the least."
– wastedintime
The people you bring into your life may not always be who you had hoped they were.
Invaded
"Getting rid of your stuff without asking. Filming you without asking. Going through your phone and belongings without asking. Nothing f'ks up your trust more than your privacy constantly being invaded. Thousands of pictures, gone. All my social media, gone. Almost all my contacts, gone. My jacket I got for Christmas, gone. All without my knowledge or permission."
"EDIT: My EX did all of this sh*t. My parents are lovely and would never do such awful things."
– isabellla321
Walking On Thin Ice
"Living with a narcissist and never knowing what will set them off. Did you say something in the wrong tone? Did you have a good day and want to talk about it? It's like walking on thin ice all of the time and it's stressful because you never know what will set them off."
– stazib14
Money Matters
"Financial abuse. I didn't even know it was a legitimate thing until recently."
– peachpinkjedi
"I wish more people recognized it as ACTUAL abuse. It's insidious and controlling and manipulative. Just because it's not physically painful or make someone actually cry doesn't mean it isn't."
– ephemeralkitten
As a kid, I always thought being constantly ridiculed for being "different" and "a sissy" and subjected to lots of name-calling and racial slurs were unbearable enough to make me want to vanish.
The emotional bullying was so torturous, I remember thinking I would have rather taken several punches to the face instead.
Words hurt. Words matter.
Reading through some of these examples is a good reminder we should be cautious with how we use them.
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