I try to only give advice when asked. Sometimes it is difficult, but I do my best. And I think I give great advice. But I'm not always right. I wish others would follow my lead.
80's Illogic
Coding Looney Tunes GIF by Looney Tunes World of MayhemGiphy"Don't study computer programming. The market is probably going to be saturated by the time you graduate. From a computer science professor in the mid-80s."
"help"
"My husband needed a medical card after his heart failure from viral cardiomyopathy. The social worker told me I should get pregnant so we would qualify for help with his medical costs. I was 24 and lived in Ohio. I was horrified. She listed all the "help" we could get if I could get pregnant. He was in an ICU ward recovering from heart surgery. I walked out of there just disgusted."
At 24...
"At 24, while making $12 an hour and renting an apartment my parents convinced me to buy a brand new Honda Accord. They assured me it was the ONLY WAY to get a new car and that used ones broke down immediately. The payments were one entire paycheck of the two I got every month."
the book of...
"Me: I'm depressed and struggling with low sex drive
Therapist: Haha I have the opposite problem! But have you tried watching a romcom? They always gets me in the mood."
"This is a direct quote."
"Edit: thank for for all the replies, haha I am much better now and I found a different therapist! Turns out being bisexual and growing up Mormon made me really repressed sexually--the therapist was Mormon so that didn't help. She was licensed and told me she had special training specifically in sex therapy. I've found an ex-Mormon therapist who thankfully undid the damage!"
- murdie_t
Maxxed...
bart simpson episode 20 GIFGiphy"In my early 20s, my stepdad encouraged us (us = Me, Sister and Brother) to max out our credit cards. Then file bankruptcy. My sister did it. My brother did it. I didn't. He insulted me for years, for being stupid."
See there, people need to keep their ideas to themselves. Even if you're a genius, you aren't perfect. Speak from truth not from ego.
bye bye bar...
its always sunny in philadelphia bar GIFGiphy"Invest in brother-in-law's bar. Thanks Dad. Bye bye 30k and bye bye bar. Did not know I'd be working along side an illiterate buffoon."
Stick with CDs...
"Invest in DVDs because you can pawn them for cash when you need money."
"I worked with a guy from Zimbabwe, in the mid-2000s, who told me that people there would get their paycheque and spend it straight away on electronics and kitchen appliances and stuff like that. Then, if you wanted to buy something, you'd sell something and use the money straight away, or barter if possible."
Love
"Everyone I know who's been married more than 10 years has moments when you can't stand your spouse. Especially if you have kids. Because let's face it, it's hard to live with other people for a long period of time. And kids will raise the stakes on everything and drag out every bit of how you were raised that you spouse wasn't. But you're in it for all times when it's NOT like that. Which should be most of the time."
- jseego
The Burn
"Was told by a sailor of 5 decades that the best way to get rid of a sunburn is to take the hottest shower possible. Not only did that cause immeasurable pain, but didn't help in the slightest."
"There is a rare condition some people have where they get something called Hell's itch while recovering from sunburn. Incredibly intense painful itching sensation wherever the sunburn is. One of the only found "cures" for it is a really hot shower to I guess reset the nerves or something."
- Archsafe
Not there for you...
Season 9 Lol GIF by FriendsGiphy"Family over friends, because friends won't always be there for you, family will."
"Fat load of crap that was."
Words matter. Advice matters. You can't just throw them about without knowledge or forethought. In the end, most advice is bad advice. Lesson to be learned? Follow your instincts.
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I stopped listening to people recently. I had to. Mainly because it hindered my ability to listen to myself. I've taken so much bad advice merely because I believed they knew better, when they knew nothing. And I know I'm not alone.
Be Dumb
Confused Threes Company GIF by MOODMANGiphy"You should act less smart so more guys talk to you."
- imerbear
Ignorance...
"Just ignore the bully. He'll get bored. I wish my parents told me, "To Hell that kid up. You're 16. Slap on the wrist."
"I was bullied all throughout middle and high school. I dropped out half way through my sophomore year, then went back after working a summer."
"Former bully tried it again, and I just shouted "F* OFF!" in his face. He was so surprised. Thus ended 8+ years of torment. He never tried anything again. I dropped out again though, got my GED, went to college and did well. I'm good now. ADHD + meds = functional adult."
Shake it Off...
"Work through the pain, it will make your back feel better. It didn't."
"I lost a friend because they felt I was lazy for not "powering through" the chronic pain issues I have and "just live life" instead. Umm... I am powering through it every single moment of the day from the moment I will myself out of bed. It is exhausting and there's a limit to how much one can do that. I have an autoimmune condition so it looks like there's nothing wrong with me from the outside, and a lot of folks don't care much beyond the superficial."
Ok Octomom...
My (ex-) co-worker advised me to have a baby because I was suffering so badly from my depression. She said this would cure my "bad mood."
"I once had a patient with borderline personality disorder also suffering from depressions. She already had 5 children from 5 different (ex-)partners, who where all in foster homes, because she could not care for them. Neglect, abuse, dangerous situations and the sorts.
"That day she told me she was so happy because she was pregnant again from an unknown partner. She was happy because pregnancy always made her feel better. I could only think about the next child's life being ruined. Although I'm generally opposed to forced contraception... sometimes... Don't fall for the trap."
Just Eat!
Excited Food GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy"Come on, stop complaining and swallow it." No mom, I'm allergic to freaking soy, if I swallow it I'll probably die."
First, listen to generational advice carefully. Each generation has a different perspective and we're learning a lot of it is shaded by trauma. That's important to recognize. Don't fall victim to other's issues.
Buzzz...
sad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy"Kick it to see if there are anymore bees inside." There were plenty of bees still inside."
never say sorry to a student...
"When I was an aspiring educator, I received a lot of scary advice about how school teachers should run a classroom from people who were well intended, but were completely out of touch. The most memorable was from a woman who had been a special education teacher for years and her nugget of wisdom was to "never say sorry to a student and never admit you're wrong." My philosophy as a teacher could never be more opposite."
911 Operators Break Down The Strangest Call They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
A Little Rash
"No need to go to the doctor, it's just a little rash." It was Lyme's and I nearly died. "It was the Urgent Care nurse who said this. I believed it, my mom didn't, the next place sent me to the hospital."
- ATLander
"It bothers me how Americans need to make sure they ABSOLUTELY NEED to see a doctor before they go and look for medical help. It must suck that you can't just pop into the ER to check your weird rash, just to be safe. I really hope your healthcare gets better in the future."
"Also, I mean no offence, nor am I sh*tting on your country. I just wished everybody had the reassurance that they'll get the help they need without having to sell your firstborn. Someone mentioned an affordable system called Direct Primary Care. Don't know anything about it, just thought I should pass it on."
Failure to Launch
"My father once told me, when I was in my teens, "don't ever try anything new because you might fail." That's like the opposite of what good parents are supposed to say. He had recently went out and tried a career change and failed."
- rujoe
"My father said something similar. "You think like you live in a game. As if you're Super Mario in The Matrix."
"Something doesn't work out and you think you could just try again. That's not how life works, son. You need to have your entire life planned out and stick to that plan." For one, I did not think that. I was very well aware that I was on planet Earth in material form and that deus ex machinas don't happen in real life."
"Second, The Matrix does not work that way. Third, why do I need to have my life planned out at 13 years old? Aren't I supposed to try things out and then keep trying to do the things I enjoy until I'm good at them? Not according to my dad. He kept berating me about this until I finally moved out after graduating."
This was literally 1984!
Music Videos 80S GIFGiphy"In 1984 I was told by a friend's mom that computers were "a fad" and that I shouldn't major in computer science in college. I ignored that advice, it was obvious even then this was a crazy take. This was literally 1984! Van Halen wasn't really my scene though, I was more into new wave music at the time."
Family Fun
"When my mom was dying in hospice, a coworker of mine told me I should at least let her family know, even though my mom told me she didn't care if they knew or not. Well, I let them know, and I definitely regretted it. The sister and her kids made it an entire dramatic ordeal and had to be removed from the room. Her brother didn't even call or text, just sent his dingbat wife who didn't even notice my mom had already passed. Haven't heard from either of them in the year since she's passed. My mom was right."
Hands Down
"If somebody's mean to you it's because they like you." Can people please stop telling kids this? I used to believe it, too. Yeah, maybe sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not! Especially above the age of 7 lol."
Ha Ha
"In 1998, I was a senior in college and completely frustrated by the college administrations inability to adapt to the online world, particularly with class scheduling. My last semester of school, where I was a jaded senior and didn't give a crap and just wanted enough hours to graduate."
"I remember a lady in the registrars office vehemently denying that registration would ever go online. Her words were something like "We will ALWAYS do in person registration, computers will never change that." I want to find that lady today and just smirk."
In the Shops
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphy"I was 19, thinking about maybe going to college or getting a job in finance. My friend's mum said "no, don't do that. You know where the real money is? Shops. Working in shops."
A Pinch
"You should let it pinch you, it won't hurt that much..."
"It was the biggest crawdad I ever saw and I was maybe like 10 fishing with my Dad. He didn't think I would be stupid enough to do it, but I wanted to impress him. The chaos that then ensued; I picked it up and let it pinch the soft skin between my thumb and hand promptly scream in pain."
"Dad was laughing his butt off tried to help just to be pinched by the other claw on the back of his hand. This cycle of continuous pinching continues as we stupidity try to help one another then finally we get it removed and my Dad says to body slam it so I throw it as hard as I can back into the lake."
Above It...
"Live above your means. It motivates you to do better" Uhhh...No."
"Had a sales manager basically say this. Honestly don't remember how the conversation got there, but was told "we need to get you some debt so that you will stay motivated." I preferred to live below my means so I could tell him to run off whenever I pleased."
Happy Away
"Try to think of happier things when you hallucinate. Yeah... let me just think of a unicorn, I can totally control schizophrenia. That'll help me not see the blurry faceless man following me in the hallway. Maybe I won't be so paranoid. That how that works, right? Happy away the illness."
The Scraper
"I scraped someone's truck in our apartment complex a few weeks after I first got my license at 18, in my defense he was very over the lines and it was the only available spot. Called my dad in a panic because I didn't know what to do, he told me to go park in the lot of the apartments next to us and just pretend nothing happened unless someone confronts me. New and inexperienced, I listened."
"Horrible advice, someone saw it and the guy found which apartment I was in. He was pissed but more understanding when he realized I was just a kid (to a guy In his 40s I guess 18 is a kid) and explained what happened. We worked insurance stuff out and I learned to never take my dad's advice."
"I should mention that I'm not considering 18 to be fully matured, I'm currently 24 and 18 year Olds definitely seem younger than they did when I was 18, I guess I consider kids to be more like people I wouldn't trust to leave home alone. That said, they are just as stupid as kids sometimes, like when they hit a truck and then take their dad's advice to do nothing and hope I don't get in trouble."
Perfection
"Don't break up with him! You're perfect together! Spoiler alert: we weren't."
"Not the same but in adjacent territory, my ex-bf's sister said we should have a baby together because they make everything awesome. I was in my early 20s in college, and he was in his late 30s as were his siblings. I was obviously in a predatory dynamic and didn't know it at the time but I definitely wasn't about to take her advice."
No Dear
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphy"Former mother in law- if you love him harder he won't hit you."
- Atheva31
"My grandmother told my mom "maybe try making him decent coffee and he would be gentler" forget you Gretchen."
Advice is tricky. Everyone wants to help. And more often than not we're all more failing than helping. Learning to listen to our gut and our won voice is where we should start with advice. That's my advice. Let's try... begin.
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