How to lose a job in 10 seconds.
Now, that sounds like a fun show to watch.
It is astonishing how fast people can lose their jobs.
Some people really need to learn how to actually exist at a job.
You'd think it'd be simple... but no.
Redditor Quintowne wanted to hear about all of the ways some employees have been let go, so they asked:
"What is the fastest way you've seen someone get fired?"
With many years in food service under my belt, I've had more co-workers than Mars, Incorporated has made M&M's.
So many were gone by the end of shift one.
Secrets
Car Police GIF by BabylonBeeGiphy"New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone the second week."
JenntheGreat13
Okay. Bye.
"My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: 'I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.'"
"Boss says 'Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!'"
Selios2112
Sticky Fingers
"First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denied it. I just looked at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man."
BigNotGay420
He Was Warned
"Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down."
Beestung
"Oh Gawd, just reading the word voodoo brought out a flash of memories I buried."
calamnet2
Oh Willy
wet willy martial arts GIFGiphy"First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Sh*t you not."
themoistdonut
I have never understood this wet willy thing.
Completely disgusting.
Who even came up with it?
Loopholes
Angry Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register."
DudebroggieHouser
On the Spot
"Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot."
walkingknight
"I did customer support at a software company that sold to other businesses, and every one of us had one customer that we hated a hell of a lot more than any other. The guy who sat next to me hated Amway."
MajorNoodles
"A high school friend's dad offered me a job with his company after I graduated, it was 'Do the interview and then go to work.' The interview consisted of a five-minute spiel about the company and a 45-minute Amway sales pitch with the understanding that if I didn't agree to sell Amway for him, I wouldn't get the job. Dad called me a couple of days later wondering to know why I didn't take the job. I started to work at about the same time the former interviewer stopped working there."
m945050
$100
"Half an hour. Working in Arby's, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day."
AaronKMartinez
"Always smart to rob a place after giving them your name and address."
Bobby_Newpooort
Hangover
"The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. The guy was fast asleep, under his desk. He was gone before you could say hangover."
davisherm
The Eagle
"I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans."
"He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up."
WildBillyBoy33
Buh-Bye
jumping episode 11 GIFGiphy"A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!"
Useful_Exchange3583
"When I was in middle and high school they hired students with driver's licenses to drive the busses. This was in the 80's."
Calypso_gypsie
My school bus drivers were all nuts.
I always thanked GOD when I got home in one piece.
The usual suspects like the Bose speakers from your home theater system or expensive family heirlooms could be likely targets.
But there must be something you place much value on that you know the thieves aren't likely to pilfer.
Curious to hear from strangers on the internet about what those might be, Redditor woomy-jpg asked:
"Someone breaks into your house, what are they definitely NOT stealing?"
If it's part of the home, it's probably staying that way.
Custom Built Fixtures
"My game table. My friend built-in in the room and we realized it won't fit through any doors."
– kw5112
Used For Getting In
"Probably wouldn't bother stealing my spare house keys, they clearly already have a better way in."
Doorknob, Duh
"my F'KING DOORKNOB."
"They cant get your fingerprints if theres nothing left to get fingerprints from."
alice in wonderland doorknob GIFGiphyPets or things having to do with furry companions are better left at home.
Four-Legged Guard
"my dog. He's 95 lbs and draws blood on strangers coming into the house. Also my couch. I love it but it's been destroyed by the cat."
Skittish Kitty
"My cat would be kind of difficult to steal since she is very afraid of strangers and no one would need that useless furball anyway."
No, Thanks
"Cat litter boxes (although it would be nice if they at least cleaned them.)"
"Protip if you package cat litter and leave it on your porch, it's very likely a porch pirate will steal it without thinking."
– Daiguey
The following are specific honorable mentions.
smash laid to rest GIF by ShudderGiphyThe Stiff
"My old deer head from when they, I don't know who first learned taxidermy."
https://imgur.com/gallery/zaaAAXD
"Look at the mouth."
My prized possessions are my framed photographs.
They are glimpses of all facets of my life, including family, career, and travels around the world.
Other than printing costs and the frames that are both standalone and hung on walls, my pictures hold no value other than being sentimental.
I have a pretty good feeling those won't be going anywhere.
To be in the business of buying and selling, one must be nimble. Head on a swivel, a pawn shop owner hunts for value in the items that others gloss over.
But no matter how good you are at crunching the numbers, a stolen military weapon is simply off the table.
The pawn shop owners and employees of Reddit are full of wild examples of stolen items coming through the front door.
Some of these stories end with a shopkeeper surprised to receive a call from the cops. In this case, the item was so strange that assessing its legality was the least of concerns.
But the far more popular experience is turning down an item so obviously stolen that the seller is clearly a loose cannon, and therefore needs to be chucked form the store as soon as possible.
Manas_Das24 asked, "Pawn shop owners, what was the most illegal thing a customer had brought to your shop?"
Jig's Up
"Worked at a gun shop and a shady looking guy brought in a few pairs of night vision googles, like high end military grade PVS-14 night vision googles."
"Ask him why he was selling them. 'Oh, I just don't need them anymore.' Cool man, do you mind if I call the company real quick and run the numbers? Sometimes this stuff is stolen property."
"And as soon as I said that he jumped across the counter, grabbed the googles and bolted for the door."
Re-Gifted Laptops
"A guy brought in a stack of like 15 laptops that all said property of city Public School right on the top of each one."
"He then threatened to shoot me when I told him to get out." -- 3leftturn
"Not an owner, but I got a call from a pawn shop saying that one of my at-home employees tried to sell her work computer."
"It has my company's logo and contact info right on it plain as day. How stupid can some people be?" -- VeeKam
The Least Secure Security Deposit
"A man brought in a bag of cocaine and asked if I would buy it then resell it back to him in a couple of days." -- Moist_mop
"Mind if I call in a buddy? He's an expert in cocaine." -- RickGrimesLol
"That guy was so high he got the formula backward. You're supposed to get the pawn money to buy the drugs, not pawn the drugs to get the money." -- ProfessorZhirinovsky
Local Militia Would've Paid a Pretty Penny for it
"A guy literally brought in an RPG."
"He was doing yard work for this old lady whose husband had passed. She gave it to him for doing some yard work not realizing it was live and active."
"The guy was career military and after the bomb squad came and disabled it, they went to her house and found a trove of similarly very illegal military-grade weapons."
-- bisk0ot
Too Good to be True
"We had a couple come in to pawn their backhoe over the weekend (happens a lot) and brought their bill of sale. They wanted a simple $1k loan which wasn't bad considering how much it was worth."
"No more than 30 minutes later cops are there with the owner. Apparently they worked for him and went and pawned all of his industrial equipment."
-- SupriseRape
But I Don't Want It Anymore!
"A friend of mine owns a pawn shop, and one day a dude walks in with a cardboard box filled to the top with his own shit. He claims that it's magic and my friend cuts him off right there and kicks him out."
"As he is walking out he drops the box on accident, gets all of his shit on the floor, sees the mess he's made, stares at the horrid pile of shit for a couple of seconds, and runs out of the shop."
"My friend never got his name, and never saw him again. The smell would proceed to linger in the shop for a good month after it was cleaned up."
-- CanadaMan01
Cultural Differences
"Literally had a customer come in and say, 'Hi, I've just stolen this phone off my sister, how much will you give me for it?' "
"Had another customer bring in a gun and a crossbow, that was weird (I'm in the UK, this is not a normal thing)." -- ashcymru84
"This might sound ridiculous, but can you guys not just buy a gun at a supermarket?" -- dandydiehl
"911 What is your Return Policy?"
"Buddy of mine worked at a pawn shop for a few years, they had a guy try to sell them a police walkie talkie, like straight stolen from a car but with the battery taken out."
"They told him to get f*cked and called the cops. I believe they picked the guy up a few hours later."
-- _leetster
Gold is Gold
"I don't know if it's necessarily illegal but one time I guy brought me a handful of human teeth with bloody roots and gold filings. He wanted me to extract the gold. I said no thanks bro." -- sickofmasshysteria
"Definitely not his teeth." -- Ballsforbrains
Think of the Power
"A locksmith machine, the one that makes key copies. We didn't know it was illegal until we try to put it out for sale." -- carlosdekansas
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
"My wife and I had our first baby a month ago. She prefers to pump a few bottles worth of milk at a time and feed the baby from the bottle. She stores the bottles in the fridge."
"My little brother has never had a girlfriend. He acts quite awkward around my wife and other women from what I've seen. He came to my house last week to see the baby and he noticed the bottles in the fridge."
"Yesterday, my wife and I, along with our baby, went over to my parent's house. My brother knows since he's in our family group chat. He texted me when I was at my parent's house that he bought my baby some cool clothes and will drop them off. He knows my front door pin to get in."
"When I got home I saw the cool clothes he bought and thanked him via text. My wife bottle fed my baby that night with no issues. Today, however, she said the baby reacted very differently to the new bottle she fed her. She coughed much more than usual and spat out the milk, which never happened before. So, my wife tasted it and said it was cow milk, not her milk. She told me to taste it too and compare it with the two other bottles in the fridge. That bottle indeed tasted much more like cow milk than the other two."
"My wife suspected it was my brother drinking her breast milk and swapping out that bottle with cow milk. I agreed that it would not be out of character for him to do that. I thought it was a bit fishy he would come by and drop off clothes, especially since that was the first time he would come to my house when no one was home."
"I called my brother and asked him why he would drop by when we were not home and why he couldn't wait a few hours until we got home. He said he just bought the clothes from the nearby mall and it was more convenient to drop them off then. I asked him to please tell me the truth if he swapped my wife's breast milk with cow milk and he vehemently denied it. I told him how we found out the bottle contained cow milk and what a coincidence it must be. He said he really doesn't know, but I could hear the tremble in his words. I told him that my wife and I don't believe him and if he doesn't apologize now, we would tell our parents what happened and ask what they think. He once again denies doing anything so I hung up."
"Before calling my parents, I want to know what you guys think first. Are my wife and I just paranoid or do we have good enough reason to believe my brother swapped out her breast milk with cow milk?" u/902I0
Not Around my Kids!
Giphy"Wow this is weird.... does he have a history of this kind of thing? It almost seems sexually deviant. Why would he do this? Breastmilk is usually a bit different in color then cow milk, more yellow, much sweeter, and cows milk is definitely way harder for babies to digest. So if you are sure it was cow milk in the bottle, then it sounds like he's the only one that could have done it. Anyone else in your house? Maybe ask him in person. Face to face. To be sure. If he did this, then he was putting your baby's health at risk for his own twisted gain, and that is really crappy of him. I wouldn't want him around my kids!" Raven3131
Mistakes Happen....
"Did you even think about the possibility that he just knocked it over? That he was smelling and looking and dropped it. Or that he has this awful rash and has read breastmilk helps (true) and used it for that. You mind jumps right to drinking, but that's not at all the issue."
"Cows milk is very, very bad for baby's. They should not be drinking it at all. I would tell your brother that, make it clear why it's bad and ask him if he, or anyone else, can be honest next time something happens to the breastmilk. If it falls, be honest, do NOT replace with cow's milk. Or with anything."
"Also, how did she not notice? They don't look the same at all. It's really barely a mistake you can make, unless you don't look at the bottle when you take it out of the fridge."Gwennie333
Check Up.
"My daughter got really really sick (she was hospitalized) from drinking cow's milk. And she is 5 months old so I can only imagine how much more dangerous it is to a month-old. I'm not in the best position to give my judgement. Mine is to urge you to please follow up and check if everything is okay with your baby." murrayxi
Be Sure.
"You sound somewhat skeptical that it was 100% cow milk— If it was cow milk, it was surely your brother. In which case; NTA at all. Cow milk is not good, and can mess some babies up digestion-wise. NTA, and your brother is weird."jakejames
"I don't have the best of taste buds. Plus, the temperature of the supposed cow milk is a bit warmer than the refrigerated breast milk, so that throws things off a little. I'm 90% sure it's cow milk and my wife said she's 100% sure."902I0
Skin Crawl.
Giphy"I am a breastfeeding mom, and this made my skin crawl. If it really was drank by him, how absolutely intrusive and deviant. It's very dangerous for babies to have anything other then formula/breastmilk when they're that young as well."
"The only other explanation I can think of is the milk going bad somehow. Which if you're freezing before 24 hours it shouldn't be bad and should be fine in the fridge."
"Your brother is a creep if he did that, and I would keep him away from your wife and baby." Dontsuffocate
"you just know?"
"WTH is this thread? Everybody either on the crap post train or NTA bandwagon?"
"OP, do you have any (I mean any) actual evidence that he did something wrong? None of those intuition nonsense or "you just know?".. that's not gonna cut it. Especially if you're planning on some sort of grand spectacle where you make your brother appear like some creepy sexual pervert."
"Maybe take a step back, deep breath and think whether whatever evidence you have is enough/conclusive because your relationship with your brother will likely never be the same afterwards but surely you wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of that discussion?"
"EDIT: Because it seems many responses are tripping up on this.. "none of this intuition nonsense" refers to the brother having done something and not whether it was or wasn't breast milk. That's a separate discussion in itself."rycology
Not in this House.
"NTA, and maybe make sure he cant get into your house when you're not home. That can be terrible for the poor baby's digestion, even deadly depending on the age. And... it sounds like your brother might be a sexual deviant, if he has done this, then he has gone out of his way to set up a situation where he's violating your wife's dignity in her own home. Protect your family from the threat, brother or not, and tell your parents. Cow milk and breast milk are noticeably different, trust your judgement and make sure these more subtle offenses don't turn into something more sinister. Your wife must feel pretty gross, I'm sorry for you both." haveitoldyouyethaveitoldyouyet
Sour taste.
Giphy"NTA, him drinking your wife's milk is incredibly creepy, and not only that but he also endangered your child's health. If I was your wife I wouldn't want him near me, breastfeeding a child is extremely personal, him inserting himself into that feels really intrusive and wrong."nessy612
About Him.
"Has he ever done anything comparable to this that would lead you to believe it was him? I mean the evidence you have is pretty damning as it is" casualpotato96
"Nothing comparable. He's a socially awkward but very intelligent guy. He never got into trouble as a kid. But like I said, he's super awkward around women, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's a bit sexually deviant." 902I0
Menace.
"NTA, and the really serious issue here is that your baby could have been killed by his stunt. Google infants drinking cow's milk. Change your pin code. Your brother is a menace and a weirdo. I wouldn't ever trust him again. Take your baby to the doctor immediately and tell them what happened." brotogeris1
Accidents Happen.
Giphy"I really hope the dude like dropped or accidentally used them or something. But i'd feel like he would admit if that happened so."Korpela
"I'm sorry to tell you this because it's disgusting but there are a fair amount of men who drink breast milk because they think it will help them gain muscle mass."
"Edit: okay I get that it's not actually that disgusting and just bc something grosses me out doesn't mean it's automatically bad. I do think it's stupid because there is 0% proof that it works and also a lot of the time they're buying it out while parents whose babies can't take formula and whose mothers can't provide enough for them really struggle (my cousin went through this) so I don't have a lot of respect for the guys involved lmao."hogelett
Get Him!
"Nail his butt to the wall. There is a huge difference between the sweet taste of breast milk and cow milk. Newborns can't digest cow milk, can have a bad reaction to it, and your baby could have gotten really sick from drinking it. Even before formula and if another nursing mom couldn't help they never gave babies straight cow milk. Goat milk is much closer to human milk. Your brother might of just been curious but he has to know you don't mess with the baby's stuff because they can get hurt."lisasimpsonfan
"will you go fill up a bottle of milk for my baby?"
"Don't ever underestimate people's ability to be ignorant of things you think are obvious. This is the same world where men thought there were left and right tampons. I don't know anything about babies (I'm a woman) and if I hadn't seen various PETA things about how cows milk isn't meant for humans, I might not realize that it made much difference. I could see someone saying "will you go fill up a bottle of milk for my baby?" and grabbing the quart of cows milk without realizing they were supposed to look for a bottle that had been pumped. I once had a friend who couldn't figure out that you had to put water in a coffee maker in addition to the grounds. Smart guy, too, at least in terms of book intelligence."JLLsat
Set a Trap....
"This might be horrible advice, but I would tell your brother that the baby is having a horrible reaction to the milk and is in the ER and you need to know if the baby drank cow milk."
"Edit: I have been enjoying the conversation this comment has turned out, thanks for that and the silver."
"In reality, OP most likely already missed his chance at a straight out confession and doing this tactic wouldn't work if the brother is already on the defensive."
"I do think it is fair game to say the baby is having a reaction and it is important to know if the milk was changed. Maybe he could have framed it as something where he thought the brother was trying to do a favor and filled a bottle for them, that they appreciate it, but if it is cow's milk, it is bad for the baby... etc. etc."Punky_Grifter
Is He a Fool?
Giphy"Is your brother an adult? What the hell is he doing swapping out food for your child like that, and drinking breast milk? I tell you the code to my place would be changed immediately. What else has he done in your place?" MaryK007
"He's 23. I will definitely change my code ASAP. He hasn't done anything out of the ordinary in my place since he's only there when I'm home as far as I know."u/902I0
Get a new Code...
"I'd make sure to not give him the new code. Cows milk is not good for babies under 1yr. As a pumping mother the taste between breast milk and cows milk is very different, there is no way you could mistake the taste. It may have been curiosity or, as others have said, if he is a body builder he may have heard it's good for muscle repair or he might have decided to try and sell some. But in my opinion he has drunk it. I would test the other bottles or even dispose of them rather than feed them to your baby, in case he has tampered with them too." Kapearce82
Family Can be Trouble.
"I read the other comments before making this post. Specifically to the other folks saying this couldn't be real... I hate to be the one to point this out, but lactation fetishes are real, and quite common."
"OP, follow the other poster's advice. Change your security PIN, limit your brother's access to your wife and child, and tell your parents about this breach of trust. You need to make it clear to your brother that his behavior hurt his family and it's unacceptable."
"Also, tell your wife to look through her undergarments to see if anything is missing. While I don't want to condemn your brother as "the creepy pervert" I wouldn't be surprised if she was missing at least one pair of undergarments."CIA_astroturf_acct82
HIDE!
"You're not an a**hole."
"Bro what the HECK??? I don't think you should let your brother see your wife anymore cause that's so creepy. I know I'd be mad about it. I'm not sure how your relationship with ur brother is but I'd definitely distance myself. He's a creep and a fool in my opinion, especially if he DRANK it. I cannot even begin to imagine how uncomfortable and upset you and your wife are, but I hope things turn out well and that you guys get some peace of mind." Sara-tonin-
Be Serious.
Giphy"Seriously, this needs to be on top! OP just had a baby a mouth ago. A child this young should not be having cow's milk this young since their digestion system isn't fully develop and can't digest it fully."
Well, reader, what do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
Troop 80062 set up their table full of Girl Scout cookies in the Woodbridge Center Mall, selling all the traditional favorites to save up for a group trip to Savannah, Ga to visit the home of Girl Scout founder Juliette Gordon Low.
In a heart-breaking turn of events though, an unidentified thief made off with the envelope containing the nearly $1200 in cash and checks the girls had made selling cookies.
But a group of generous New Yorkers stepped in to save the day, banding together to raise money to send the girls to Georgia.
Donors save Girl Scout trip after jerk stole $1K in cookie money https://t.co/ZFJ7Z7XMp6 https://t.co/JvLY5EMB0E— New York Post (@New York Post) 1548204040
"We were shocked and devastated," troop leader Jessica Medina, 38 told the NewYork Postafter the January 18 robbery.
"The girls had worked so hard. Everybody was crying."
The thief who approached the table with an elderly woman using a walker first asked the girls for a box of Caramel de Lites and some Peanut Butter Patties before he grabbed the envelope full of cash and checks Medina had put down on the table to help 11-year-old Olivia Limmer with the sale.
"I was behind the table and he reached over it to grab the envelope," Medina told the Post.
"He slipped it in his jacket. He did it very fast — in the blink of an eye"
By the time Medina realized the envelope was gone it was too late. The girls were devastated by the theft.
"I'm pretty angry. It's heartbreaking," said Olivia Limmer.
"You shouldn't steal from anybody, but stealing from Girl Scouts is even worse."
When Medina later posted about the incident on Facebook people were just as upset by the theft as the girls.
Linda Bounanno Berrier/Facebook
Linda M Lacki Lewka/Facebook
Bernice Gilliland/Facebook
Denise Bongiovanni Lagomarsino/Facebook
Judy Keegan/Facebook
After the troop's heartbreaking story went viral, a group of kindhearted New Yorkers decided they weren't just going to sit back and watch.
"I don't want to see any child who works hard not get to fulfill her dreams," said Vince La Padula, one of the many donors who pledged more than $3500 already to fund the troop's trip to Savannah.
Padula, 47, who works in finance, has pledged $2200 for the trip.
"For these kids, their whole year depends on how much money they raise," Padula told the Post.
"I was an Eagle Scout myself. A lot of people grew up as Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, so I think they can relate."
Padula wasn't the only one moved by the girls story though.
After the story made headlines people began calling into the Post, offering to write checks.
"Me and my partner saw the article and wanted to help out." said one of the generous donors.
"My daughter was a Girl Scout, so this really got to me."
Another donor, Rabbi Anchelle Perl of Mineola, shared his disbelief with the Post when he called in to pledge $250.
"Children should trust in their elders. What kind of message does it send that an adult would come steal from them?"
And the offers of donations didn't stop there. On Facebook, pledges and offers to buy cookies came pouring in.
Yolanda Winfield/Facebook
Jacqueline D Martinez/Facebook
Frank Lehman/Facebook
Krystal Lynn/Facebook
Mick Kless/Facebook
It is hard to imagine the type of person who would steal from a group of Girl Scouts, but thanks to the support of all the generous donors the girls' story had a much sweeter ending.