When conversing, it's generally a good idea to make sure both you and the person you're speaking to get equal time.
So, if the focus has been on you for a fair amount of time, it's perhaps wise to ask your conversation partner a question and pivot the subject to them.
Unfortunately, some people have trouble talking about anything other than themselves and take every opportunity to pivot the conversation back to them if they sense it veering away.
"What is a tell tale sign that someone is a selfish person?"
"You Had It Bad, Well I Had It Worse..."
"When anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with."
"'I know your mom died a month ago but my best friend of 3 years died too so I don't see why you are so sad all of the time'."
"I think narcissism and selfishness go hand-in-hand so there you go."- AJM5K6
"They respond how worse their situation is when you’re sharing your problems with them."
"No try for help or listening, just trying to draw attention on their side."- seyfgs
"When every single bad thing that happens to another person gets spun around into their personal problem eg I'm really upset because my friend family member is going through."- Purrminator1974
Drama Queen GIF by Radiotelevisione svizzera (RSI)GiphySorry? I Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word...
"They feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others."- avidhiker96150
"I'm Always Right!"
"Doesn’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit."
"They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility."- No_Key_6276
No Need To Thank Me, Because I Won't Thank You...
"They don't remember the times people helped them, but remember clearly all the times they have helped others."- GoodMerlinpeen
sexy youre welcome GIF by SatisfactionGiphyLive To Freeload!
"They bring nothing to the potluck but are first in line."- TRIGMILLION
Quid Pro NO!!!
"They gladly take any favors you do for them, but when asked if they could reciprocate once, they get defensive and or aggressive and act like you're the selfish one for daring to expect something in return."
"It doesn’t make you a bad person to expect reciprocation in a relationship with someone else, romantic or platonic."
"Relationships are give and take and that makes them healthy."
"It's not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness."
"If you're the only one giving, you're being taken advantage of."
"I'm not talking about narcissism and manipulation, I'm talking about the natural give and take in a relationship."
"It is not manipulative to expect certain things out of a relationship (depending on what kind of relationship it is)."
"The whole reason we make relationships is because they give us something - whether that be support, love, safety, or other advantages."
"It isn't a bad thing, it's a human thing."
"Typically, with give and take, if you notice a pattern of one person consistently taking without giving, the one taking is the problem, not the one giving."
"The kind of people who use this as a manipulation tactic aren't the ones who stick around in a relationship for years, doing favors and kind things without being asked to."
"They're more likely to do one favor and demand twice as much in return."
"Why do I know this? I've had these people in my life, which is what gave me the realization I commented above."- random-shit-writing
Season 4 Question GIF by 9-1-1 on FOXGiphy"I'll Never Forgive You!"
"Every bad thing you do to them is drama-worthy."
"Every bad thing they do to you are details and should be moved on from, and why can't you just do that? You're so dramatic!"- Pasdusername
"If I Could Just But In..."
"If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is saying generally to brag about themselves with a 'one-upper' story, is generally a precursor to stop associating with them."
"I've met too many of them in my days and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises."- Philay_shio
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think About Me?
"If they always talk about themselves."- Effective-Craft-1173
"They have that superpower to lead everything back to themselves."
"Even when you're actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic."- Anskin12
Look At Me Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy"Ugh, Work Is So Boring... Can You Do It For Me?"
"Complaining at work to coworkers doing your work for you while you complain."- Minimum-Tea-9258
Perhaps the most frustrating thing about dealing with a selfish person, is getting through to them about changing their behavior is probably a no-go.
For they'll be too self-absorbed to ever think they were doing anything wrong.
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
When talking to a friend who brings up one of our favorite books, celebrities, or tv shows, we often find ourselves saying we're "obsessed".
Our excitement is often met with a sneer from our friend, but we don't give it much thought.
Owing to the fact that even if they're better at containing their excitement than we are, deep down everyone has an obsession of some sort.
Naturally, it's not particularly healthy to be "obsessed" with anything, as nothing should take up the majority of our time.
Even so, if one were to take a very close look at society as a whole, we might find that just about everyone has an unhealthy obsession they just can't break.
"What’s an unhealthy obsession people have?"
Schadenfreude Much?
"Love to hate."- Odd_Adhesiveness4804
Never Settle!
"Being in a relationship no matter the cost."- hibbletyjibblety
"Pointless relationships."
"Settling for less just because you think you can't be alone is not healthy."- shutyourmouf03
Aging Gracefully Always Pays Off
"People are obsessed with youth and some people will do anything to maintain its appearance."- Mad-farmer
There's So Much More Beyond Your TV Screen
"24 hour news cycles."- SuvenPan
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
"Having to be first."
"It's okay if you beat me to the pump, or if you beat me to the grocery checkout line."
"It's okay if you get to the freeway exit before me, or pull in front of me on the highway."
"I'm patient, and it's a virtue."
"Have to credit my father who taught me this."
"He was an airline captain for over 30 years who is a very patient man."
"Thanks Dad."- Look-At-The-Aliens
Humming Season 17 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyThere Are So Many Better Ways To Be Social
"Obsession with their social media image."- knovit
Has No One Seen All About Eve?
"An obsession with everything celebrities are doing."- Streak_Free_Shine
There's A Reason Paid Vacation Days Exist!
"Work/productivity."
"Everybody needs a break, not just every once in a while, but often."- RoKe3028
To Each Their Own
"An obsession with each others lives."
"Seriously just let people live as long as they’re not hurting anyone just leave people the f*ck alone."- MiseinToxicity
"Other people's sex lives."- huiscloslaqueue
Worry About Yourself Saints And Sinners GIF by BounceGiphyIronically, Making Calls Is One The Last Things They're Used For Now...
"Their phones."
"It's one thing to keep yourself busy, it's another to never let yourself be bored."
"Being bored is important sometimes, it makes you think/helps clear your head.'
"Phones make it ridiculously easy to never let yourself get bored, to the point where it ain't healthy."- Crestego
"Being on their phone all the time, especially while driving."
"I see this literally every day, despite laws against it."
"I constantly have to honk at people sitting at green lights, because they can't possibly be inconvenienced with their own thoughts for 2 minutes sitting at a red light."- dallased25
Mistakes Are How People Learn...
"Being right all the time."- lee24k
Sheldon Cooper Rules GIF by CBSGiphyIt's very easy to scold or ridicule someone for being inordinately fond of someone or something.
However, before passing judgment, always a good idea to take a step back and examine our own behavior.
As we may be no different at all.
As Forrest Gump famously quipped "stupid is as stupid does".
Forrest was right, as far too many people judged him by purely looking at him, which should not have been indicative of his, or anyone's, overall intelligence.
Even so, we've likely all been guilty of judging someone's intelligence based on a first impression.
Likely owing to something outrageous they said or did.
"What makes you instantly question someone's intelligence?"
One Shouldn't Always Be So Confident...
"Being confidently ignorant."- Tattooed-Tango
amanda tanen catwalk GIF by HULUGiphyLearning Is An Eternal Gift
"An unwillingness to learn new things."- Electrical-Bid-9577
Don't Be Fooled...
"Interest in a pyramid scheme."- GameCox
"When people are really into a MLM scheme."
"I’m not taking about 'I’m a bored house wife so I decided to start selling makeup, leggings, whatever it may be, because I’m bored and this gives me something to do'.”
"I’m talking about the people who consider it their career and are huge into the Boss Babe lifestyle."- Milehighcarson
Talking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySpreading Garbage
"When they post one of those things on Facebook saying 'only a few will share!' or when they comment on one of those clickbait 'God has a blessing for you today say amen!' posts."- se7ensquared·
Do You Even Know What I'm Saying?
"Arguing without listening."- dezx156
"Talks a lot and never listens."- BaronVonOstrich
angry daffy duck GIF by Looney TunesGiphyAnd Now For Something Completely Different
"When you prove your point in a discussion and the other person explains that it doesn’t even matter because their REAL point is something that’s an off-shoot of that subject in a 'gotcha!' manner."- No-Mud-5854
Loud Is Almost Never Right
"People who can only argue by raising their voice."- malkumecks
They Have No Idea What They're Missing
"Active hostility to books (as opposed to simply not reading them)."- Manganela
"Being proud of never having read a book."- peppermintcreams
Nice Try
"When they repeat a certain statement word for word I get the impression that they memorized something to sound more intelligent than they are."- Armedes369
Talking Nigel Thornberry GIFGiphyHow Much Proof Do They Need?
"They aren't open to changing their beliefs when given new information."- Pretengineer_825
What Are They Trying To Prove?
"Oddly enough, when they try and tell me their IQ."- manwithoutcountry
It is often the people who try to prove how smart they are who end up doing just the opposite.
A truly intelligent person would know better than to do that.
"That's a deal breaker, ladies!"
A line memorably uttered by Jenna Maroney during a sketch written by Liz Lemon on the fictional sketch comedy show TGS on the legendary sitcom 30 Rock.
The "deal breakers" in question were red flags women noticed in men which made them unsuitable to be romantic partners.
Heightened and extreme as the sketch was, it wasn't so far fetched from reality, as just about everyone has a deal breaker when finding their soulmate.
Be it smoking, excessive gambling, obsessions with sports and/or shopping, people often look out for things they don't want to deal with, or compete with, in a relationship.
"What’s the biggest dealbreaker in a relationship in your opinion?"
Ultimatums
"When she/he makes you choose between them and your family."- Sheriff_Disko
rachel cruze whatever GIF by Ramsey SolutionsGiphyKindness. Shouldn't Be So Hard...
"Not being nice to animals."- _Picklesandpotatoes_
"Abuse of any kind."- TeamGodzilla
No Monogamy? No Deal!
"Abuse of any kind and infidelity."- Knighthawk235
"Cheating."
"Emotional, physical .. any kind."
"This is only if both parties have agreed to be exclusive and monogamous."
"If they’re poly and have communicated it beforehand, that’s perfectly alright though."
"I OBVIOUSLY don’t mean cheating is ok if you’re poly, just that the rules are different."- Zeph-11
"If they are married is a biggie for me."- HouseDog2020
Music Video Beyonce GIFGiphyNothing But The Truth
"Pathological lying."- Frosty033
Failure To Launch...
"Their parents make decisions for them."- kiwilemonbee
Lack Of Investment
"That the other person doesn't really want to be in the relationship."
"It takes two people working together to keep a relationship going, but once one of them decides they don't want to be there, it's either effective or actually over."
"You can try all you want, but the relationship will never reach liftoff."
"This seems obvious, but in my experience, it's pretty common for people to just coast in neutral in their relationships."
"The other person does all the work until they decide they can't take it anymore and THEY have to do the breaking up."
"When the Mr./Ms. Neutral Gear either checked out long before or never even checked in."- zazzlekdazzle
Uneven Playing Field
"When one feels to compromise a lot more than the other(s) to keep the relationship going."- Lambda_Settings
trying season 4 GIF by OutlanderGiphyEveryone should be adaptable and open to evolving.
Even so, everyone has things in their life that they simply can't tolerate, or even shouldn't have to tolerate.
Few would argue that it's better to avoid a problematic relationship early, rather than endure months, or years, of unhappiness.