on the job

Such A Pretty Display

"I asked one of the new kids to stack the shoe department."

"Easy if but a bit boring. I showed her, stack by brand then size, big at the bottom, small top yeah?"

"She decided to organise it by the color of the boxes instead because it looked prettier."

"Took me hours to fix that mess."

– Lizzy_Of_Galtar

Oooh, Burn! (Quite Literally)

"In high school, working at a Chinese restaurant, was there basically to take orders and bus tables. Another dude I vaguely knew from high school got hired there. Nice, popular dude, but not much common sense. Within his first two weeks, he went to make himself some food (we were allowed to do that to a certain extent), and he dropped some wontons into the deep fryer. When he decided they were done, and as we were having a conversation, he just REACHED HIS HAND into the oil to retrieve it. I don’t think I even reacted for a moment or two, and then rushed forward. He somehow ALSO didn’t react for a moment or two before pulling his hand out and yelling out a cartoon-style “YEEOUCH!”"

"He went to the hospital, and quit the job."

– CwAbandon

Umm...Huh?

"One dude once photocopied a slice of pizza. We found cheese and stuff inside the machine for weeks. Was pretty funny though."

– LinusMeindl

"Inside? Did the idiot put the pizza into the document feeder or something?"

– MechanicalHorse

"How else would you feed the machine pizza."

– andtheIToldYouSos

Spelling

"I saw a tattooist I worked with tattoo "Laugh now cry Ladder" across a guy's chest..."

"He was let go, and a few years later, a guy came in with "Warior" across his upper back in bold letters, wanting it fixed. Same tattooist lol."

– hurrythisup

"Cry me a ladder."

– Deleted User

"Cry me a liver."

– iqtrm

"Crimea river."

– MagicSPA

Yikes!

"Telling the manager on duty, “I’m not the one eating it, so why should I care?” when the manager was trying to explain to her how to correctly prepare a customer’s food."

– 2gecko1983

"Watched a coworker of mine at a Pizza Hut (1976) clean off the food prep counter with a gross floor broom. The kitchen was open, so people at the tables could see the food being made, and someone saw him and yelled out to the other customers, and people started walking out."

"Cleared it out."

"Once the manager figured out what happened, he fired the guy on the spot."

– big_d_usernametaken

Misstep After Misstep

"Admitted to not having spoken to any of the business stakeholders, but instead "made up their own story.""

"This was at the end of what was supposed to have been a four-week information-gathering phase of the project."

"That afternoon, when one of the managers went to escort her from the premises, they found her by the printer with a stack of confidential documents."

– WitShortage

No Cell Phones At Work

"Worked with a lot of hazardous chemicals. Had a coworker who was notorious for being on his phone. We had to use a pump to put a hazardous chemical into a tank. Problem was you couldn’t look at the destination and pump the pump at the same time. Someone had to pump and someone had to watch. So I specifically asked said coworker to not look at his phone this one time. Tank overflowed and spilt the chemical everywhere because he was staring at his phone. Took hours to clean up."

– BigTiddyOstrogothGF

"A coworker of mine was fired for using his cellphone in an electrically classified area, cell phone wasn't explosion proof, not to mention the fact no cell phones on the floor, they gave him a warning, second time they walked him out."

"Bad part for him was that his wife found out he was talking to his girlfriend."

"Twenty years down the tubes."

"As we liked to say, "He fired himself.""

– big_d_usernametaken

Ewww!

"A guy I worked with sent a spreadsheet round with all the women in the office ranked in a spreadsheet and graded overall based on 1-5."

"He was somehow shocked he didn’t pass his probation."

– downfallndirtydeeds

Thank God He Was Fired

"My best friend, he took his mop bucket and poured it down a water fountain instead of using the closet with a sink that was literally right next to the water fountain. He got fired the next day."

"He told me he was in “f**k it” mode with the job and he didn’t care. We worked at a hospital."

– MrFavorable

""Who cares if sick people get exposed to a little bit of antibiotic-resistant flesh-eating bacteria.""

– Brett42

Get Right Back Up

"There were 2 of us installing an air conditioner. He had a bit of work outside that required him going up a ladder about 3 or 4 feet, not high. I was inside doing wiring."

"I heard a loud thud and scream, so I ran out to see what happened. He fell off the ladder. I've seen gruesome injuries from stupid thing like this before, so I ran outside to help him out. No injuries, he picked himself up and got back at it, I went back inside."

"Five minutes later, same thing. I walked out to check on him again after a small fall. He was ok again, but I told him to chill out and watch what he's doing. I went back inside."

"Heard another thud from outside. He fell again. I just looked out the window the third time and went about my business."

– DrVanNostrand6

*Cringing*

"He opened a Skype window (yes, this was ~10 years ago) and started messaging me to sh*t-talk a person who was in the same call as us."

"Except, he forgot he was sharing his screen."

– zyygh

R.I.P. Press

"After checking the correct lock-out tag-out procedure was followed, I assured an employee that it was safe to change dies on a horizontal press. But he was skeptical so unbeknownst to anyone he put a piece of tooling steel about the size of a coffee can under the die base. Some of you know where this is going. He made the tooling change, forgot his “safety measure”, and cycled the press. We all heard a $400k press eat itself in a fantastic swan-song of a noise that would take Stephen King four pages to describe."

– Idontfeelold-much

The Stupidity Of The Human Race

"Late 90’s, I was a custodian in a NYC public school to pay for college. One of my coworkers accidentally spilled about 15 gallons of gasoline in the school parking lot. He didn’t want to get in trouble for spilling that much gas so he thought the best course of action was to burn off the gasoline. Of course gasoline burns with huge billows of black smoke so he panics and tries to put out the fire BY DRIVING HIS CAR OVER THE GIANT PUDDLE OF BURNING GASOLINE. Fire department shows up within minutes and sees him doing donuts in the giant fire and they spend a whole hour screaming at my coworker about how f**king stupid he was."

"Edit: and in 1997 when this happened, gas was 97¢ a gallon. He could have replaced all the gas for less than $15."

– -Words-Words-Words-

"I'm a veteran of the Internet, and enjoy reading accounts like this. I must have read thousands."

"This is, hats off, quite literally one of the most stupid decisions I ever heard anyone make."

– MagicSPA

I really don't want to believe that last one really happened!

Do you have any great stories? Let us know in the comments below.