CW: Domestic violence.
Losing interest in someone is a part of life.
It can happen in an instant.
You can be madly in love at midnight, and then at 12:10, you're running like Cinderella on fire from the ball.
"Let them keep the shoe!"
Pursuing someone isn't easy.
Because love isn't a guaranteed win.
And the more you learn, the less you may want.
It all can be a cruel universal joke.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the times when the pursuit needed to end, so they asked:
"What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?"
I lose interest all the time.
A sneeze can turn me off. #foreversingle
Bad Swipe
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Brought a kid she never mentioned on a tinder date (I’m 18)."
Relief-Old
Squeaky Clean...
"After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. Hit the eject button pronto. Never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings, and presented as squeaky clean."
drmonkeytown
No Womb For You
"After the second date he said he can’t wait to put a baby in me. And when I asked if we can get to know each other first he said he doesn’t have time for a 6-12 months courtship. He already knows what he wants. Anyway... I did let him know I’m not a womb for hire, and never talked again."
notyourusualprincess
No Reason
"Yelled at someone at a party for a miscommunication that was no one's fault. I get it, it was frustrating, but she just yelled at this woman for no reason."
KaRue3
"This is a reason why a standard question for me when starting to see someone new is 'What are the odds you’ll yell at me in public?' I always phrase it almost like a joke, so the way they start saying in what situations they would definitely yell at you will tell you all you need to know. Sometimes it’s very obviously a joke, and sometimes it’s obvious how dead serious they are."
The1Zackiechan
Succubus
Love Me GIFGiphy"I realized he was using me for favors. He was always needy, but never there when I desperately needed him."
blonde_77
When it's all about them... run.
Human Garbage...
Difficult People Reaction GIF by HULUGiphy"When he stopped talking to me after I didn't send him nudes, turns out he asks multiple girls for nudes, then sells the pictures to some of his friends. A complete human garbage, if you ask me."
Scarlet_Rot_Falke
True Evil
"They hurt my dog."
"Now, I was into this guy for a while. Bigger guy. Seemed really sweet. I invited him over after we hit it off, and my dog, being a dog, came up to see this new person. He responds to this inquisitive sniffing my kicking them in the face, and seeming proud of it, saying that you 'have to show a mutt who's boss.'"
"I told him to get the f**k out of my house and never come back."
"I'm still very single, but my dogs haven't been hurt like that since."
InkblotDoggo
Cheater
"They started flirting with my best friend."
Minibersy
"I was the best friend and I didn't even do anything but it killed our friendship. We were young so looking back I think it was just emotional but damn. His girlfriend was being an a**hole to him but he saw me as the problem. It made me feel so Go**amn helpless at the time. Everyone treated me like I was a cheater. Like I led her on."
Pencilowner
"Oof been there, my BF told me he was in love with my best friend. thankfully he told me at the exact time I was already planning on breaking up with him."
lifeisntsirius
Keep Looking
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"The biggest red flag for me is pursuing someone who loves attention on themselves but is not very interested in your life. Basically drop the pursuit right there and look for someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them."
Pretend_Tea6261
Always follow the red flags and save yourself the trouble of becoming emotionally invested in someone troublesome.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Instant attraction is real.
And it can be a real problem.
You want people to like you.
You want them to be who you think they are.
But then it can all change in an instant.
Redditor SpacedGeek wanted to discuss the moments we've all realized it was time to stop panting over a certain person.
So they asked:
"What did a crush do that made you instantly lose interest in him/her?"
I lose interest easily. So this should all make sense.
"She asked me to prom. I said yeah. Two days before prom ‘I actually don't want to go with you, but I already bought both of our tickets. As the guy, I expect you to pay me back for them.’"
"I tried to explain that’s not how transactions work. She kept telling me it was my responsibility. I asked if she was smoking crack. Never heard from her again."
OwMyCandle
Salt Lake City
"Not me but my wife before we met. There was an event in Salt Lake City and she was from northern Washington. She had a crush on this guy and decided to join carpooling with him and couple other people. They stopped to grab some fast food and went back on their way."
"Well as soon as he finished eating/ drinking, he tossed the whole bag out the window while driving. After that, she barely talked to him and once they got to SLC she left him and joined some other friends and went back home with them instead."
sknsnw9
You're Blocked
"Went on a date with a guy to a Chinese restaurant and as we were leaving he threw trash on the ground when there was a trash can a few feet away. Then we went to his house to watch a movie and he picked his cat up by the scruff of its neck and threw it. Not a set it down to get it off the counter kinda thing but a legit throw across the room."
"I left right then and there and told him why. He called me a *itch and a tease (for whatever reason, never gave him the impression I was going to sleep with him that night) and was yelling at me as I was backing my car out of his drive. I got to the end of his road and blocked his number."
TrendyKiddy
No one...
"They poked fun at my mom. Going to a primarily white school, him and a group of his guy friends always made fun of how she dressed and how short she was. I didn’t super know him, but he was a part of the group that did, and that’s all I needed to know. My mom is this sweet, short Asian woman who loves to smile, and yes, she sometimes wears goofy clothing, but no one makes fun of my momma. No one."
jacqueluvsjakie
?!?!?!?!
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"He said that he doesn’t like ugly people and they all should die or be put in a corner."
Sunshine-the-wolf
People are just vicious.
Idiot
"He drove like an idiot while I was in the car. I literally thought he was going to kill us, and he was road raging the whole time. This was on the highway, too. I asked him to stop driving like that and he didn’t. Never going out with him again."
cutetygr
"Same thing happened to me. Driving home from our first date, I wasn’t talking much because the date had gone poorly and I felt uncomfortable."
"He got mad at me for being 'too quiet' and pretended to fall asleep at the wheel. Leaned back in the chair, folded his arms, and closed his eyes. We were on the highway going at least 85. I had to grab the wheel to keep us from swerving. He ran a few reds once we got to my town too. Very unpleasant experience."
INTO MY HOUSE!!
"Asked her out, she said yes! Then, she dumped me 2 weeks in saying she didn’t wanna start anything new because she was moving in a month and didn’t tell me."
"Then that time came for her to move and where does she move? INTO MY HOUSE. she got with my roommate that looks creepily close to how I look (we would often get mistaken for brothers, twins even), and started a committed relationship with him."
"There were some thin walls in that house too..."
Three0h
cool/cute...
"This guy that I'd been talking to for a while on tinder who I thought was cool/cute but he never seemed down to meet up. One time he randomly messaged me to say he'd gone over to someone's place and they'd had sex three times. I think he was trying to make me jealous but it just made me feel a bit gross."
FaustianBargainHunt
Hard...
Paris Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy"Crush on a girl my junior year of college. She liked to heavily make fun of people and I mean hard. Like to the point I would say hi to someone I knew. After we walked off she would have some remark. She went from attractive to not wanting to be around her really quickly."
Slaed_Dweller
It only takes a moment to be over it.
Have you ever instantly lost interest in someone thanks to something they did? Let us know in the comments.
Have you ever been so intensely into another person you can't think straight?
Everything about them sends you into a flop sweat.
Then one day, you're out and about and they breathe wrong so you're disgusted and it's over.
A good crush can be obliterated in a matter of seconds.
But why? How can it be that fast?
Redditor6FeetDownUnderwanted to know about the times infatuation died immediately. They asked:
"What made you immediately lose interest in a crush?"
This actually a gift of mine, or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I can lose interest in the snap of a finger.
Oh Hell No!
dogs biting GIFGiphy"She not only didn't like my dog but was rude and smacked my dog."
APatchInMyHat
Lukewarm
"Hot and cold behavior."
Jazzymousee
"SO MUCH THIS! Why do people do that? I’m a guy going through that right now with a woman that I fell for… and it sucks."
Bearoused
"Man... I just broke up with a girl who accused me of this too many times. The first time was shortly after our first date and I was like 'WTF?'"
"'We've talked every day including this morning and have another date set later this week.' The last time she said I was icing her out, but I had already told her I was stressing about some unrelated issues that I had already talked to her about a few times."
Nailbomb85
Cheaters
"That she cheated on everyone she had ever been with."
MetalMikeJr
"I had cheated on everyone I was with before I got sober. I have never cheated since (15 years) - I completely changed my entire lifestyle."
"I would never cheat again, I was a different person then, young, dumb, and loaded all the time making horrible decisions. Since getting sober, I’ve had 3 long term relationships that all ended for other things I have issues with. Haha. But not cheating! But I agree - most situations - would not be like this."
mansonsmom
It was weird...
"When I realized she had to take her bestie literally everywhere. It was weird. We would hang out and she would come. We'd go on a date and she'd come. We'd go to a movie and she would either come or be texting her the entire time. Every night she would just come over and watch TV with us. It really got old."
"We are still friends on Facebook. My old crush is married now and I see all these pictures of her and her husband in Greece, Paris, Safaris in Africa, and you guessed it, the 3rd wheel is in all the pictures."
Firebolt164
Just Cuz
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy“'I dump people to feel something' nah no way."
Obvious-Tangerine180
"Recently was seeing a girl that had a family emergency in her life. She decided to end things with us because she felt destructive and wanted to feel in control."
FortKnoxEnthusiast
Some people really need deeper therapy sessions before they get into relationships.
Rude
Tv Show Reaction GIF by The Daily Show with Trevor NoahGiphy"Asked her on a date, said yes. Ghosted me."
justdeletethisquik
6 Months In...
"Guy still flirted with other girls after expressing interest in me and let them sit on his lap. I ended it before it even really began. A year later he asked if I wanted to fool around. I said no. About a month after that I saw he had a girlfriend when she tagged him in a FB post saying 'happy 6 month anniversary.'"
BadgeringMagpie
The Way We See It
"Mutual codependency. I had a friend that I genuinely didn't notice a problem until I was pregnant and my daughter's father mentioned that she wouldn't be in the room for the birth. That never occurred to me. And then I was thinking of my life and how she was there for like everything. Had to set up some boundaries. She didn't like that and eventually cut herself from my life. She doesn't see it that way."
IreallEwannasay
Fool
"She cheated on her bf on an international trip. He was a cool dude, felt bad for him on that one. I haven't spoken to her in years."
Legitimate_Pirate249
"Similar thing happened to me too, I liked a guy who had a girlfriend at the time (I realise this sounds bad, I couldn’t help having a crush on him but I never would’ve acted on it). Anyways he was on an international school trip with us and he was cheating on his girlfriend the whole week. Instantly couldn’t even stand the sight of him."
Keidis-mcdaddy
Instant
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"'I'm not allowed to work with children' instant red flag."
potatorevolver
Follow the clues. Read the signs. Never be afraid to run.
People Explain Which Things They Always Loved Doing Until They Totally Lost Interest
If you love something it's supposed to be forever right?
Well, if you're one of my regular readers, then you know better by now.
One Reddit user asked:
What did you think you'd always enjoy doing, until the day came when you realized the spark was totally gone?
and the comments were honestly a little heartbreaking.
It's Reddit, so you're typically not looking for any real profound statement on the nature of mankind, depression, and capitalism.
Buuuuuuuuut that's exactly the hellscape we got. Come stroll with us through a graveyard of dead dreams and long-gone joy.
Gamer Growth
Video Games 80S GIFGiphyVideo games.
For most of the first 25 years of my life I loved games. And then one day I sort of just said "why?"
And have really touched any in the last 7 years and haven't had much of a desire to.
As much as I enjoy video games...I find as I get older...I have less time for it. Other priorities take place and before I know it...not much free time.
It also doesn't help that gaming companies that I grew up with...are now corporate asshats and not the 'revolutionary' icons they once were (looking at you Blizzard)...the constant 'made for multiplayer online'...f*ck that shit. (looking at you Rockstar).
All my gaming friends slowly move on with their respective paths (having kids, marriage, new job --> new hours, homeowner --> homeowner problems, school-related stuff with kids, maintenance, scheduling appointments with doctors for care of self, or a mechanic to fix your vehicle)
...by the time I get home, I'd almost rather catch up on a TV episode of a popular TV show, because 30-45 minutes is more doable then trying to play Red Dead Redemption 2.
Also, relationships.
I will never forget being a 25 year old and witnessing a former co-worker...a 40-year old single, white, bald, male...who spent his free time playing 'Call of Duty', smoking cigarettes, and drinking cases of shit beer...it made me think "I don't want to be 'that guy' when I get older"
- Supaspex
7 or 8 Other Things
Playing guitar.
I've played for 20 years and for the first roughly 13 years I could sit and play pretty much all day every day. When I went back to college and started taking my education seriously I started losing interest.
I still pick it up and play but I haven't written any new music in well over a year and most of the time there are like 7 or 8 other things I prefer doing instead.
There were certain people that I collaborated with a lot and some of them still play music and some of them don't but I moved far away enough from them that collaboration wasn't as easy. They were all people I knew in Orange County, CA but then I moved to Los Angeles after college and now I live in Idaho.
There is this one guy in particular that I used to play music with the most. Him and I always kind of understood each others' visions for a piece of music pretty well and just generally really understood how the other approached writing music.
He still writes and records all of the time and he's considering moving out here. If he does I wouldn't be surprised if that ends up being the push to get me really into playing again.
Doodle Depression
Drawing. I loved to doodle and try and draw whatever popped into my head. Even tried learning new styles to try out but eventually that feeling just slowly died. Drew a few things from a tutorial video a few months back, but that's about it. Pretty depressing honestly.
I used to love drawing and painting too, and aced AP art...but now I look at a blank piece of paper and have zero inspiration. It's sad.
Happier As A Hobby
Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+GiphySewing.
Loved it as a teen. Made my own grad dress, won an award and a scholarship for my skills. Tried it as a job and it just killed any and all desire for it.
It stopped being fun. It stopped being a creative outlet for me.
It's really sad, cuz I had skills. I've tried to pick it back up in recent years, but I just can't seem to care like I did back then.
Same with knitting for me, which I picked it up as a hobby. Parents realized that I could make useful stuff and tried to push me into selling it. I never want to turn this hobby into a job; it would kill off all the benefits of being a relaxing way to pass the time.
Are you me? Working in the fashion industry is such a goddamn soul suck. I'll probably never go back. I hoped to get my creative inspo back after a sabbatical but it's been almost 4 years since I quit my job and I've barely touched my sewing machine (except to make a handful of masks for a few close friends and family last year).
I hate when people find out I sew and ask me if I can make them something...
Reading Used To Be FUNdamental
I was an avid reader since kindergarden up till uni. After that life just got in the way and I never picked up any books for the past 10 years....?
Still reads to my kids tho. Just, I don't have the energy to read mine.
- shfaeman
As child, schoolboy, and student I used to absolutely devour books. I always had one in my pocket or bag.
From Dumas to Dickens I lived in those pages and had travels, adventure, and experiences that still remain clear and potent for me all this time later. When the demands of later adult life made this impossible I felt the loss keenly.
I found that an Audible account was the solution, I can fit books into the interstices of my day, and a good unabridged reading doesn't leave you feeling dissatisfied.
It'll never be the same as the the intense personal connection I had with books from my days as a true reader. But it suffices for these years until I can again.
Reading.
In elementary and middle school I would burn through books like no tomorrow. I would read whenever I had free time. I would sit under the playground, in the library, at lunch, anywhere really. I would even read in secret when I was supposed to be paying attention in class.
I don’t have that passion for reading anymore and it genuinely makes me depressed. I’ve been trying to get back into it, but even with books I enjoy reading it takes much longer to get through it.
- ThatGamingKid45
Reading.
When I was younger you could not pull my head out of a book. I took such joy out of it, staying up till 3am just to finish a book (a much more impressive feat for a 11/12 year old). I could read for hours and hours, my favorite books were battered and stained because of how many times I read them. I've been trying to do the same now but I've had 3 books on the go for a few years now and they never seem to get finished.
I took a break to focus on my education and never got the drive back, I miss the joy I felt from a good book. Hope I can find one that'll bring that back.
- oohlalalllama
Obviously a huge chunk of people lamented things they lost in childhood - but childhood wasn't the only lost joy people wanted to talk about. We kind of expect to outgrow things we loved in our younger years anyway, right?
A lot of folks had something they were passionate for even as adults only to have that slip through the cracks as well.
Like Prostitution
Writing. I always thought it'd be a passion I'd have for life, but in the past year or two everything I've tried to write has been sh!t.
Slowly I've stopped even trying.
"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money. " -- Molière
I have been writing since I was seven, got a BA in English, and thought for sure I'd be a famous writer someday.
I very gradually wrote less and less over the years and now I am almost fifty and can barely muster inspiration to to churn out so much as a short poem. Looking back I tend to wonder if it was passion or if it just happened to be something I was good at that earned me praise and that validation is what fueled my motivation.
Now I don't care what people think of me so much so I just watch Netflix instead.😃
All Of The Above
Everything here.
Playing guitar, writing, video games, I guess I just lost it all.
I'm not in my teens anymore when everything was so deep. I'm just going through the motions of life as a mid 30 year old. Working, and going home and repeat.
The friends have narrowed down to about 1, the job is tolerable at best. I'm drunk now so that's why I'm spilling. I can't find something that gives me that spark but I'm hopeful for the future.
Dude aside from the drunk part and hopeful about the future. Are you me?!??!?!😲
Like for real, I lost interest in writing first, then gaming, have one good friend, work then home, mid 30's... duuuude. And to be honest, losing interest in so much stuff, has had me question if I'm secretly depressed, and just don't know it or what?
It's been years since I legitimately looked forward to anything or enjoyed something for any decent period of time.
- Linchey1
Hostile Hostels
Staying in hostels.
I still love travelling and meeting people, but I just can't do the hostel life anymore. I'd much rather have a nice, private bedroom and my own bathroom.
Part of me still dreams about just saving up some money and doing it all over again, but I know I'd be switching to hotels in about 2 days lol
This. I loved it when I was 22 and could meet people and hang out with them, It was a great way to meet interesting people, make fun memories, and see a new city.
But now? F*ck no.
If I stay in a hostel now, I have to have a private room and bathroom because I am not f*cking around with other people.
SCUBA Men
Under Water Swimming GIF by Outside TVGiphyI fell out of love with SCUBA.
Firstly I live in England so the waters are somewhat different to the Red Sea.
But when I did do SCUBA, either in England or abroad, I realized a large part of SCUBA is spending time on boats with middle aged men with marital problems who still, nonetheless, need to keep reminding me that they are better than me.
Hence the marital problems, I'm sure.
I always thought it should be an easier and more pleasant experience.
I'm a casual, by the way. I really don't have the inclination to get up early on a Sunday and look at 4 non-descript fish in the English Channel (which I've done, by the way.)
Plus I'm not very good at bragging so this excludes me from 95% of on boat conversations.
I would, however, like to rock up to Jordan or the Caribbean and just say "Look I'm here for a week or so. Lets do 5 dives but I haven't done it for a while, so can we spend some time on the first dive working on my bouyancy?"
I've tried this a couple of times only to get to the dive shop to find out its being run by an English couple. And if there's one thing worse than a middle aged man with marital problems, its an expat middle aged man with marital problems.
The worst thing about diving, especially in places where you need tonnes of gear, is the people. It just attracts a certain type of men - especially men who are "big strong men" in their own view but whiney b!tches with OCD to me.
These a**holes are sloshing around with fancy gear spending most time on the shore telling other people why they are doing it wrong.
I switched to free diving which I can do alone, and never looked back.
- ragefaze
Over Editing
Editing. Specifically videos.
I got a project freshmen year of high school where we had to read a book and then write an essay about it or make a short video commercial of the book. I chose the video and after filming some stuff with my friend in the backyard, my mom let me use her computer to edit it and I fell instantly in love.
I loved all the different combinations and things I could do. Throughout high school, whenever I could substitute a video for any project, I did it, just to edit.
I went to college for film with specifically wanting to be a professional editor and it all came crashing down a few years in.
I still liked to edit but was realizing that doing it professionally, I wasn’t gonna have much artistic freedom. And it was either be freelance editor, just relying on clients to hire me and do whatever they want, or go into the cut throat business with the studios.
I don't know, neither sounded appeasing, and while I edited a few student films for some festivals, I just wasn’t enjoying it anymore. More so the environment the the actual editing, but it’s soured me to the point I don’t feel any motivation to work any of my personal projects.
Currently taking a break from school. I wanna go back and finish my degree after the pandemic, but will probably change my major.
I have no idea what to change it too or what I wanna do though.
- KageNekem
No Criticism Please
I loved drawing up until I took an art class in college and I realized that everyone else was so much better than me.
I was almost embarrassed to share my work, even though the professor and my classmates were so supportive... I just felt like I didn't have the tough skin to handle any criticism, even if it was just meant to be helpful.
I finished the class with an A, but I haven't really drawn since.
- sad_gurl4
Bakery Blues
baking season 5 GIF by PBSGiphyBaking.
I always wanted to be a pro-baker, do the custom cakes and have a blast. I finally became head baker at a custom cake bakery, and it wore me out.
Being chronically ill definitely didn't help the cause, but I quickly lost my passion for it.
Now I can't even remember the last time I've baked something. And I feel horrible now that I'm a mom.
I want to be the kind of mom that bakes with her daughter all the time, and teaches her everything as gets older, but I just don't feel it, and I don't want that rubbing off on her while she's still so young and impressionable.
- HonourOfGreyskull_
Baking.
I started when I was in my teens and made elaborate and insanely delicious desserts and pastries. After years of making all sorts of deliciousness I came to the realization on New Years Eve that I absolutely hated doing it.
For a family dinner I was asked to make the dessert. As I was deciding what to make it realized that it no longer brought me any joy.
So I went to the Bakery and bought something to take. Everyone was disappointed that I didn't make anything. They had been hinting at a Samoan bundt cake and pecan pie cheesecake.
- messicanamerican
Well that was kind of a bummer. Sorry about that. But hey lets leave you on a happy note - lots of people don't find the thing they really love until much later in life.
We guess it sort of depends. As who you are shifts, what you love should shift too, right? That's what growth and evolution are about.
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