White Lies People Told To Keep Their Partner Happy
Reddit user Old_Army90 asked: 'What’s a little white lie you’ve told your partner to keep them happy?'
CW: eating disorders.
We can all agree that lying generally is not a good quality to discover in someone, especially someone we want to date.
But we've also heard the reasoning that a little white lie, especially when it's meant to make someone feel better, isn't such a bad to express every once in a while.
But where do we draw the line?
Redditor Old_Army90 asked:
"What's a little white lie you've told your partner to keep them happy?"
Better Sleep Hack
"My girlfriend can't sleep sometimes. I told her there is a pressure point on her lower neck that, if pressed, induces sleepiness. When she can't sleep, I will press on it to placebo her into getting tired and falling asleep."
- Iterations_of_Maj
Positive Distractions
"Her: 'Was that a dead dog on the road?'"
"Me: 'No, it was a trash bag.'"
"Alternatively me: notices a dead animal on the right side and points left: 'Hey, look at that! Aww, you missed it, it was a neat bird.'"
- schmwke
Regular Eating Schedule
"I don't know if this counts, but I tell my girlfriend I’m hungry so she’ll also eat something."
- nobearpineapples
"I've employed this, too. My ex-girlfriend struggled with an ED (eating disorder) and had to be reminded to eat. It got easier when instead of saying, 'You need to eat something,' I said, 'Hey, I'm hungry, let's go eat.' It was a little more expensive but it helped in the long run."
- Katayette
Medical Concerns
"I insist that his old man phlegmy cacophonous sinus-clearing coughs in the morning don't bother me. He can't help it, but man, they are rough and gross to listen to..."
- yekirati
"My wife has nasal issues and hearing her attempting to clear her sinuses triggers me in a primal way that I can't explain in words, but I will never ever say anything."
- mrfenegri
An Invasive Species
"We live in an area where it doesn’t rain frequently, but when it does, we get a ton of snails."
"He would get sad because we’d see some snails that had been stepped on, so I told him that they were an invasive species so he wouldn’t feel so bad about them getting smushed."
- Vicious-the-Syd
Secret Sauce
"My girlfriend hates Dijon mustard. I have a personal sauce that I make for burgers."
"She asked if it has Dijon in it. I said no."
"She loved it and I’ve made it multiple times since then. She’s even requested it a few times. (It has a decent amount of Dijon mustard in it.)"
- honeybeebryce
Quality Time with the Parents
"I tell her that I enjoy spending time with her parents. The truth is, I do like her parents, and it's always nice to see them... for a little while."
"After the fourth day in a row of listening to them bicker about how the forks were sticking up in the dishwasher when FIL (Father-in-Law) knows they're supposed to be put in with the tines down, I'm ready to go home and sit in total silence."
- urinetherapymiracle
Their First Steps
"Our child took their first steps when she and I were visiting my parents a few hours away while my husband was at work. Later that evening, he got home shortly after we did and our daughter took a few steps toward him when he came in the house."
"He got extremely excited thinking those were her first steps, so I just went with it and got excited too. She's 14 now. I've never told him the truth."
- worthlesscommotion
The Mini-Me Kids
"I say, 'The kids are looking more and more like you every day.'"
"But she spent nine months creating each of them inside her womb, enduring sickness fatigue, and torture, and the little f**kers came out looking like clones of ME."
- rawbface
"I watched my wife birth our baby. I'm pretty sure they're hers. I'm SURE they're mine."
- Shporpoise
A Hedgehog Family
"We have hedgehogs in our garden. Lots of them come to visit and we had a small guy two weeks ago. We have him some cat food and water and then he buggered off in the hedge and we didn't see him again."
"I found him dead a few days later."
"The wife thinks he's just out and about and I told her I saw him again. He's wrapped in a bag in the bottom of the bin and it will kill her if she knows."
"The next small one we saw out in the day, we weighed him and he was only 167g, so we took him to the local rescue center. They will release him back to our garden when he is strong enough."
"I love our little hedgehogs. They make me so happy to see them wandering about the garden."
- section4
Picky Eater Problems
"He's a chef and I'm a picky eater. I don't want to complain because he still took the time to make it and I can't cook for s**t."
- NiceNCozyCouch
"As a former picky eater, let me tell you, it does get easier. You’ll start to develop tastes for things that you wouldn’t expect. Keep forcing yourself to be at least a little adventurous with food sometimes, and you’ll slowly start to realize that the pickiness is going away."
- honeybeebryce
Epic Meme-Sharing
"Every time they show me something they watched or a meme, I act like I've never seen it and laugh my a** off."
- TillNatural4341
"I should try and do this more."
- DemonHunter7865
Appreciated Gift
"I asked for a cast iron griddle for my birthday. My oldest friend got me a huge one and gave it to me early. My fiancée gave me a smaller one on the day. She was so upset her thunder got stolen, even though it was unintentional."
"I put them both in the pantry until she’d sorta forgotten, then I pulled out the big one. I told her it was the one she gave me. I cook breakfast on it every day."
- KiwiSuch9951
Growing Old Together
"I say, 'You haven't aged since I met you.'"
"While I believe it to be true, many people ask me how old my partner is, and when I tell them, they're shocked."
"I'll admit that she does have features of an 'older lady,' and I know it gets to her, but I love her all the same and will do anything to make her happy."
- SheepishlyBruh
"My husband is 30 now, and he’s definitely aged since we met. I love it. I think he is just the cutest thing on earth and I love the wrinkles he’s getting around his eyes. I’ve told him this before and it makes him happy."
- mishyfishy135
Dancing Shenanigans
"I’ve never told my husband what a horrible dancer he is. HORRIBLE. Think Elaine on 'Seinfeld.'"
"He always wants to dance, but I usually tell him I’m tired or my feet hurt. If the dance floor is crowded, I’ll dance with him but in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by people."
"Love that man to death, though; he has a million amazing qualities and I’m the luckiest woman alive. Also, I’m pretty sure he could name quite a few things about me that he’s not too fond of…"
- Safe_Document_1140
It's clear that each of these Redditors had the best of intentions in making their partners feel better about something, whether it was their cooking abilities or the status of a beloved forest friend.
The important thing to remember, though, is the balance. While these things were said to make their partner feel happy, it shouldn't become an excuse to tell lies about bigger, more impactful situations.
Going to the doctor or dentist is one of those maintenance tasks that we all have do but which some people are incredibly uncomfortable with.
In an effort to make the experience go more smoothly, some patients will lie about their healthy habits or positive oral care.
But it's more obvious to doctors and dentists that their patient is lying than it might seem.
Redditor KyeLindsay asked:
"Surgeons and Doctors of Reddit, what's the dumbest thing your patients have lied about?"
Self-Sabotage at Its Finest
"A guy comes in, between 17-19 years old for 'pebble hits penis.' Pretty odd. He says he was doing yard work when the tool knocked a Pebble into his penis, he went to check it, and now it was making pus."
"The nurse clarified that he was wearing pants. Denies sexual history. He stands by that he got hit on his penis by a rock through his pants which made him produce pus. He had chlamydia."
"Another guy says he was forced to do meth (or something similar) at a store. Came in because he thought he was dying."
"A fun bonus: a frequent flier comes in for 'his stomach hurting from eating this chili he had' while continuing to eat said chili in the lobby."
- Malice1543
"Oh, that!"
"Woman comes to the emergency room with complaints of vaginal discharge and discomfort. A pelvic exam initially reveals a significant yeast infection, but there appears to be a foreign body in her vagina."
"'Is there something stuck inside?'"
"'No, I don’t know what’s in there…'"
"A speculum examination reveals a very soft mandarin orange, peel still on."
"'Oh, that! We heard it would improve our fertility…'"
"You can’t make this s**t up."
- Drilmagus
The Classic, "No, I Mean Yes."
"'Do you have any medical problems?'"
"'No.'"
"'So no diabetes?'"
"'No diabetes.'"
"'What medications are you taking?'"
"'Metformin. For my diabetes.'"
"I facepalm every time."
- Retinator99
Oh, How Did That Get In There...
"Guy came in for a wound on his lower leg that he said came from a biking accident."
"An X-ray revealed a bullet inside his ankle joint. The wound was from shooting himself by accident while holding a gun. Still don’t know how he didn’t fracture anything."
- Cybariss
But It's Corn!
"Part of my job is dealing with medical records. My favorite part is when you are reading the doctor's notes and you can tell they are fed up with the patient's bulls**t from their tone."
"Like this: 'Patient in for a routine colonoscopy, asked if solids consumed in 24 hours prior, patient confirms no. In the process of the procedure, several dozen kernels of corn are discovered in the colon and cannot continue. Patient specifically instructed not to consume corn beforehand as this happened prior to visit.'"
- YourStolenCharizard
Plot Holes Everywhere
"One dude lied about being paralyzed after a lumbar puncture. I get a call from a nurse that the patient says he can’t move his legs following a lumbar puncture (spinal tap)."
"I called the team that did the procedure and they assured me there was no indication of this sort of injury happening during the procedure but agreed with my plan to get an urgent MRI."
"I go to examine him and the nurse says she thinks he moved one of his feet. Next thing I know he says he can actually move his legs again but they are feeling weird."
"Then this weird feeling turns into intense pain and he asks for intravenous narcotics (Dilaudid). I tell him no because this story makes no sense."
"By god, it was a miracle I tell you when this man walked himself right out of the hospital after I refused the IV narcotics."
"Also, the MRI was normal."
- materiamasta
Absolutely No Alcohol
"Patient: 'I haven’t drunk alcohol in months!'"
"Patient's family: 'It’s true, I’ve been with her the whole time.'"
"Me: 'Ma’am, your alcohol level is 325.'"
"Patient: 'Impossible! I would never lie to you!'"
- jorgeojungle
Against Medical Advice
"One of my favorite things I wrote my first year out of medical school:"
"'Please note patient has stated multiple times that he wants to leave and would leave AMA (against medical advice). He asked multiple times whether he could eat and stated he is hungry. Explained to the patient that we would like to start a full liquid diet first and if he tolerated it well, would transition to regular foods.'"
"'However, the patient ordered Chinese food delivery instead. Then, the patient was complaining of a headache. Was given Tylenol for the headache. The patient stated that this did not help him.'"
"'His sister at bedside went to the nearby pharmacy and bought Goody powder (aspirin). Sister did ask whether she could give him Goody powder. She was told not to give the patient the Goody powder. She supposedly did not.'”
"For context, the patient had a catastrophic GI bleed from taking too much aspirin."
- grantcapps
Quitting or Taking a Break
"'Do you smoke cigarettes?'"
"'No, I quit!'"
"'When did you quit?'"
"'This morning.'"
- BagelAmpersantLox
Just a Little Secret
"I had a lady tell me she had no idea how she got a rash she had on her face. I left the room, gave a report to the MD, and when I walked back in with the doctor, she looked at me and said, 'I didn’t think you’d be coming back in the room.'"
"She then proceeded to confess that she’d been cheating on her husband and thought she had herpes. She did not have herpes."
- Physical_Witness_922
History of Smoking
"A common one is about their smoking. Smoking is an enormous risk factor for fracture nonunion, meaning a fracture that doesn’t heal."
"When I walk into a nonunion patient’s exam room and it smells like a cigar den, I know they smoke."
"But they’ll tell me they don’t right to my face. Before signing them up for revision surgery, I’ll commonly order a urine test for nicotine metabolites. Often it’ll turn out positive and suddenly they have a Surprised Pikachu Face."
- Anthrotekkk
Who's This?
"Their identity. Insurance fraud using a friend's and relative's insurance card. As a resident in a very large east coast hospital, I was tasked to figure things out when the blood bank called and said their blood type changed."
"When confronted with getting the wrong blood that may kill them, they almost always tell the truth. This type of fraud has also resulted in people who have been dead (and autopsied) raising from the dead and 'appearing' in a clinic or ER."
- liberty4u2
Dentures Have Entered the Chat
"My dad neglected to mention he had no teeth... since 1976. We found out in the ICU. In 2022."
- mommagolly
"Wait... did he wear dentures, or did you just not notice that he didn't have any teeth?"
- GhostemaneBlackMage
"Maybe he had a comically large mustache."
- awksaw
"Actually, HE DOES. But he also never mentioned having dentures!"
- mommagolly
Most Recent Snacks
"Medical school student. Not a big deal but a patient lied to me about what she had eaten."
"She was obviously having some problem with her gallbladder. Typically this pain can be caused by greasy food."
"So I asked the patient what she had eaten before she got this pain. The patient said she only ate a salad with very little ranch, that’s it."
"I even explained how greasy food can cause this pain but she’s adamant she only ate a salad."
"Anyways, I report back to my attending and we see her together. The attending asked her what she ate."
"The patient said salad then adds she also ate a burger! It wouldn’t have changed the plan but why lie??"
- fireandblood03
Doctors are always full of interesting medical stories, but the ways in which patients lie is especially fascinating.
If a person is pursuing medical treatment, wouldn't they want to give the information that would help the doctor most accurately treat them?
I find it difficult to believe in the concept of karma because karma implies that the world is ultimately fair. Experience has shown that it is anything but, actually.
Sometimes bad people win. And very often, they get what they want.
It's not a truth many of us like to hear, but it is a sobering one (and learning it sooner rather than later saves you a lot of grief further down the line.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor QuietCustardRoll asked the online community:
"What is the greatest lie ever told?"
"Just let us..."
""just let us have Poland and we'll stop there."
killbot0224
Oh, dear.
And we saw how that went, didn't we?
"I have read..."
"I have read and agree to the terms of service."
Murp_Inc
Ha, almost nobody does. I think the next time I actually will, just to see if there's a hidden clause that entitles me to a check for $10,000 or something.
"Your call..."
"Your call is important to us."
dan1101
Is it, though?
IS IT?
(No. It's not.)
"We're experiencing..."
"We’re experiencing an unusually high call volume right now."
Choontz
Doesn't matter what time of day or night you call – you will always hear this and it is very frustrating.
"My mom and dad..."
"My mom and dad would always say 'If you tell the truth, your consequences will not be as severe.' And do you want to know what happened? I would tell them the truth."
Turbobrickx7
So it sounds like that ultimately didn't work out, huh?
"The customer..."
"The customer is always right."
MiserableHousing
The number of people out there who swear by this as if it was the gospel are the reason why it's so awful to work in retail.
"Hard work..."
"Hard work can get you everything. Sure it's necessary but it can't make you a billionaire that easily."
Fi11
The number of people out there who get a break just because they're connected while the rest who actually do the work get paid in peanuts is too damn high.
"If you're nice..."
"If you’re nice people will be nice to you."
pissplayhaus
People assume this in diplomacy, too. Yeah... it just doesn't work that way. People are more petty than that.
"That our governments..."
"That our governments are working for our best interests."
wiffleplop
If by "working for our best interests" you mean enriching themselves, then you might be right.
"That OxyContin..."
"That OxyContin and other opiods aren't addictive. Thanks Purdue, you had a great impact on American health the last 20 years."
Reduntu
The Sackler family has caused so much harm nationwide, it practically boggles the mind. So much of the opioid crisis is on their hands.
Don't you just love the way the world always lies to us? It's endless, truly endless.
Have some more to add? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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People value honesty but it's pretty difficult to be truthful to ourselves all the time. And while most of us abhor outright lies, sometimes we just can't help convincing ourselves something is true, even when it's not.
rhodium_chloride asked, What are the biggest lies people always tell themselves?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.